Fwd: FW: I think I need a tatoo

[Wayne Slater-Lunsford]

I think I need a tattoo

Posted by Molly Balint in Learning, Family Life | November 9th, 2007 | Trackback

I think I might need a tattoo. Nothing fancy, just a few lines written on the inside of my arm. They are things that I need to remember. Things I forget every day. Things that I remind myself each night after the kids are asleep, but quickly fly out the window the moment my feet slip out of bed the next morning. Here's my new tattoo idea:
They are children being children.
Really. What's the rush?
Stay calm.
They deserve the best you, not the worst.
Even this moment is shaping who they will become.
Think that's too long? A little wordy? Or maybe the goals a little too lofty? Maybe they are, but darn if I don't forget these things almost every day. I hate slipping in to bed each night and wishing over a whole list of things I'd change from the day. I know that usually the people I love the most and I am closest to are the ones that see me at my worst. ( that's you, hubby) But I don't think that should apply to my children. They deserve to see me at my best. They deserve the best version of me. I must learn not to wear my emotions and frazzlement ( did I just invent a word?) on my sleeve. I realize there is room for being real and honest, but do they really need to know that I have fifteen things on my to-do list this morning and I'm so SICK of putting the lids back on the markers? Are we really in that much of a rush to get out the door and to the library? We're not meeting anyone, so why do they need to have their shoes on in under 30 seconds?

When I think back on my childhood, much of it is a series of odd moments here and there that had a profound effect on me: The time my mother told me that even if I was in a car accident and my face was completely smashed in, I'd still be beautiful. Or the time my brother threw the kickball at me because he was tired of picking it up out of the yard and it hit me in the face. He felt so bad he got teary and told me how much he loved me.
I never know which moments will stick with my children. Each moment is an opportunity to make it a memorable one that shapes them into a stronger more confident adult. And I want to face life and motherhood and parenting with grace. I want them to remember how much I loved them and loved being their mother, not a stressed-out, rushy-rush grump.
I know this all sounds very lofty and big and maybe unrealistic, but I quickly lose sight of these things. All too often I find myself saying, "tomorrow will be better." Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I need to make these ideas part of my reality today.
I don't think I can take the pain of sitting through a 28-word tattoo. Sounds like it might rank up there with childbirth. So instead I'll just settle for pasting them on the refrigerator door or on a post-it note on my computer screen. Either way, they are things I need to remember. And I need to remember them for today. Not for tomorrow.