Variety Day
Scott Pfitzinger
of one longer one. Enjoy!
==================================
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
==================================
A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide
pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a
dollar across the Potomac River.
"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that
far!"
"You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot
farther in those days."
==================================
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
==================================
The homeowner got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and
set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week.
He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through
mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out
her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"
The fellow thought for a moment, then answered, "The lady who lives
here lets me sleep with her."