Housing Day Videos 2019 Rankings

[Matthew Chuchul]

Hey Pflock,

It was only nine years ago that we were following all of the Housing Day traditions: staying up all night, burning a piece of paper on top of the Science Center... You know, the things that all freshmen do. 

Well, in preparing for my annual lesson on Housing Day, I took a look at this year's crop of videos, and let me tell you, this year's crop is... interesting. There are some that are probably in contention for worst ever, and you could make an argument there is one that could enter the pantheon of "Get Lowell" and "Hitler Gets His Housing Assignment." Here's my ranking:

-- THE WORST --

12) Pforzheimer - It hurts to say that we're the worst, but let's get real: this. video. sucks. It's funny for about 15 seconds, and you think, "This is an amusing start, but when's the real video going to start?" Spoiler Alert: It doesn't. Perhaps the worst thing someone could say about a piece of art is that it inspires nothing. I don't laugh. I don't cry. I'm not even angry. Like the frozen tundra, my mind is barren while watching. (As an aside, at around the 2:20 mark, I have no idea why they highlight how long it takes to get to class when you've had little sleep.) This is the worst video that our house has ever produced, and yes, I've seen "Pfoho: How To Close Your Storm Windows." 

11) Kirkland - Yes, this video is better than Pforzhiemer's (yes, "Pforzheimer," because Pfoho did not release a video this year as far as I am concerned). I get it: this video could not be lower in quality, but who cares? It's Kirkland. A shit in Kirkland will always smell better than a shit anywhere else. Of course, it's now time for my annual fist shaking at the sky while yelling, "Kirkland!" But really, this video is bad, and they should feel bad, too. 

10) Dunster - I don't get this video at all. I can't even comment on it because it just doesn't make sense to me. Does Dunster exist in a TV show in a TV show that probably none of them have ever seen? Again, I have no idea what I'm watching, but I think the smiley face in the credits after "Dunster Children" just about sums up why I hate this video. I get it: college students are generally amused by small children, but like, so?

-- I CAN TELL YOU TRIED --

9) Quincy - What did I takeaway from this video? There is a Law School in American Samoa. Oh, and that when filming someone doing the worm (around the 2:10 mark), you probably want to point the camera at that person. 

8) Winthrop - Nothing screams "My house community is in crisis because of my housemaster's professional choices" as loud as a video that seems to show people forced to thank their house for... having a roof? It definitely says something about your house when the best person to do the lip synching is a baby. As an aside, the guy in the Winthrop sweater (cool design, I wonder where you got it) at the :10 mark definitely was a student when we were there. Right? I know that this video is 8th, but it was the first one I saw for this year, and I thought for sure it would be in last place because it is so terrible.

7) Cabot - I don't know anything about rhythm, but clearly neither does Cabot. It's impressive to have such little emotion in a song that is meant to build excitement about the house. Maybe a cup of coffee at Cabot Cafe would do? (Does that even still exist? Was it just a front for Jesse Kaplan's money laundering scheme?) Ultimately this video falls in that terrible limbo zone between cute and cool. 

6) Currier - I like the acknowledging of the meh feeling for some, but what's good about Currier? You can use your swipe card that works at just about every other dining hall on campus? You can have random people interrupt your awkward singing? It's hard to not want to pick at this song more, so I'll focus on the abomination that is the phrase "Mamma Tree-A." I will say that the line makes me wish for the first and probably only time in my life that I had seen that movie, so I could make a snarky allusion to it.

5) Eliot -  It's at this time that we need to address a trend that has gone too far: drone footage. Yes, aerial footage is cool, but a bunch of HoCo people waving from Eliot as if they are at the end of a jewelry commercial is just pathetic looking. The saving grace for this video is that Eliot House sweater that has Eliot in the style of Fila. That design reminds me of the Golden Age of Pfoho shirts when Graham, Design Chair Emeritus, produced beauty after beauty.

4) Mather - The original came out when current freshmen were barely out of diapers. I'm cool with the "ye olde school" songs, but at least make your rendition good. Imagine having an entire song dedicated to an event and not showing a single clip of footage from that event. Maybe there was a limit on the number of people they could show in the video? This video does not deserve to be ranked fourth, but really, do any of the earlier ones?

3) Leverett - For the self-congratulatory largest house, it is curious that there's only six people, a kid, and a bunny living in it. It's pretty impressive that they came up with a song that does not have a single memorable line other than something about roaches. I'm also going to put it out there: nothing is more boring than seeing another house's funny tutor / aloof housemaster. Cool, there are non-students living in your house. Instead of Teach Me How to Bunny, I think they now need Teach Me How to Funny. 

-- ACTUALLY GOOD --

2) Lowell - I love this video because it totally embraces the strange nature of their housing situation while still being cool. It's catchy. It has people in it. It has nice mix of insulting other houses while still being about Lowell. The nod to "Get Lowell" at the end shows respect to their forbearers. Really, in just about any other year, we would be talking about this video as the best of the bunch. It's also nice after so many prior videos to actually watch one and think, "Oh, that was not such a complete waste of life."

1) Adams - This is it. This might be the best housing day video of all time. It hurts to say that, but I can't find anything anything wrong this video other than it is about Adams House. Beat and lyrics are spot on. People are having a great time. Video editing is awesome. I hope that freshmen realize that they are in the presence of uncommon greatness. The only thing to debate about this song is which part is the most awesome. I will say that if this video came out in a year when we were making them, I would have been tempted to close up shop. It's that good, and I predict it will be untouchable for quite a long time.

Hope you all have a great Housing Day!

[Antonio Sweet]

I think we can all acknowledge that the Adams music video is a Quad Can’t Handle Me spin-off. There are too many similarities to ignore.

--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Pflock" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to pflock+un...@googlegroups.com.
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.

[Emma Templeton]

Matt. This is a fantastic email. Thank you.

I literally cannot stop watching the Adams video. Should we burn another piece of paper on top of the Science Center and try to get in next year? Irineo, you still have swipe access, right? 

On Thu, Mar 14, 2019 at 12:19 AM Matthew Chuchul <matthew...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Arun Viswanath]

Excellent rhetorical work here. The Greeks would be proud. I would say I agree with your rankings but I'm too afraid to watch Pfoho's to round out my viewpoint. Thanks for the brave words.

--

Arun Viswanath