If you are in the market for a separation lawyer, you would be wise to interview five to ten attorneys about your case. These interviews help educate you about different lawyering styles and will help avoid the unpleasant and exorbitant issue of starting over with another lawyer in your case.
Some homegrown relations lawyers take an exceptionally aggressive and hard line approach, while others lean toward negotiation, collaborative separation or alternative dispute goal. A few lawyers handle a couple of separation cases a year and would not be the right decision if your life partner has employed an aggressive separation litigator. Your goal, as the imminent customer, is to find counsel whose approach and charge structure make sense to you.
As you meet with various lawyers about your case, recognize that you are being interviewed as well. You may find a lawyer who meets your criteria, only to discover that he would not like to accept you as a customer because he sees you to be a "issue customer." Here are a portion of the factors that make lawyers wary about accepting another separation customer:
avoid bad-mouthing other lawyers you have met. Each attorney who has been in practice for even a couple of years recognizes that a certain percentage of customers will turn and attack the lawyer if things go poorly. Only one out of every odd case goes exactly as planned and some of the time, an adjudicator will make an unfavorable decision. The lawyer considers his to be as creating reasonable and logical arguments on your behalf and presenting those arguments to a fact finder (judge or jury) clearly and powerfully. Customers who bad mouth other lawyers generally have unrealistic expectations or demands and good lawyers avoid taking on these customers.
avoid excessive spotlight on cash. Assuming the lawyers that make your initial cut are reasonable, fair people, they recognize that you want to spend close to necessary in pursuing your case. An ethical, skilled lawyer won't run up time on your case to increase his expense. Along those same lines, good lawyers won't be irritated if you ask for more detail about a passage on a bill. Most separation lawyers wind up spending time on your case that doesn't get charged at all. Nobody can foresee exactly how separate from litigation will continue or what your companion's lawyer will do. You should listen carefully when the lawyer you are interviewing discusses charges and payment necessities. You may find, for example, that during the course of your interviews, several lawyers recommend a similar charge range for your case. You may have to adjust your own expectations. If you appear to be a miser who will scrutinize each section on each charge, you may find it difficult to find the right lawyer.
avoid blaming others for all of your issues. Your life won't be pleasant during your separation proceedings. You will be under a great deal of pressure and irritants that otherwise would not be an issue will bother you. Your lawyer's work is not to make you happy, but rather to address your interests in an organized and determined fashion. Since you will probably take the witness stand, a potential lawyer will view at you as a witness. Do you appear to be reasonable, logical and likable? Or then again will you turn off an appointed authority or jury by whining, complaining and blaming your ex-companion for all your issues. Your lawyer wants a good result in your case - if you are not a likable witness, he will be more averse to take on your case.
recognize that there are no "winners" in a separation case. If your express to a lawyer your longing to "win" your separation case by getting your way with each issue, your lawyer will reason that you live in a fantasyland. Experienced separation lawyers recognize that a separation trial necessarily involves two angry and bitter people, operating at an emotional depressed spot of their lives who are asking a stranger to make far reaching decisions about cash and parent kid relationships based on limited and conflicting information. All that you can expect is to come out with as little damage as possible. If the final product if even slightly fair and reasonable, you are ahead of the game. Customers who understand this reality are significantly more desirable than customers to are looking for a major win.
Experienced separation lawyers appreciate and regard customers who bring to their office a realistic understanding about the separation interaction. A good separation lawyer can bring predictability, understanding and solace to an unpleasant time in your life. If you need to work through your anger and feelings of betrayal, a good psychologist is the right decision. You can increase your chances at finding a separation lawyer who will take your case if you introduce yourself as a reasonable and appreciative individual needing assistance.