Burger Heroes Challenge

[Ena Marklund]

Only25 people have ever conquered the "2Lb. Burger, 1 Hour Challenge" at Vancouver's Two Parrots Perch and Grill, if you believe the cryptic information floating around. Most references to the infamous sandwich sound like the PTSD-addled journals of a Vietnam vet.

(I know, the bulimia manoeuvre had occurred to me too. To be honest, it was a relief. It would only add another layer of absurdity to this little venture if I smuggled this beast to the bathroom in gooey portions instead of actually eating it.)

I had attempted a saltine challenge at some point in the past, dulled by drink and poor critical thinking skills. One of us once won a taco-eating contest by a single bite. But what was coming was a different animal. (Not literally. The tacos in question were also beef. But you understand my meaning.)

The burgers arrived with a vengeance. As high as the plates were wide, they were irregular spheres of complex carbohydrates and greasy meat. Ribbons of romaine and tomato discs peeked out from between three layers of dough, like a Big Mac in a funhouse mirror. The Jabba the Hutt of Big Macs, complete with Salacious Crumbs.

My first bite was a savage assault on the impassive granular perimeter, to little effect. I made a sobering realization. My strategy adjusted. I armed myself, tackling the monstrosity with a fork and knife.

One reached the mealtime equivalent of the runner's wall about 20 minutes in. The other lasted longer, but was beaten around the 40 minute mark. I watched his head slowly sink to the table next to his plate as I continued my relentless pursuit of excess. The dawning horror of my situation only began to sink in.

The ticking clock in my mind was palpable, a giant orange digital countdown against black. I had forgotten to set a timer on my phone. If I didn't focus on the task at hand, my head would get cloudy and I'd forget what I was doing. All my body wanted to do was slump in my chair and cradle my belly like a wounded lamb. I was fighting my own biology as much as I was the hateful dish.

I imagined stretch marks around the circumference of my stomach. Straining to hold the load, bulging out and displacing the rest of my organs. What if it burst? What if the pressure was too much, and the next painful swallow transformed my belly into a time bomb, lethally spewing opaque beige clouds of post-food into my body cavity and consigning me to an early death at this very dinner table?

My jaw was sore. The meat sweats were setting in. The implacable pace I had been setting didn't stop, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't waver. The only thing keeping my teeth moving was the dread that if I didn't finish, it would all be for nothing. I'm no dietician, but I doubt that's a good reason to eat a meal which you weren't sure on first glance would even fit inside you.

Tiny sips of water. Don't pack your mouth full until you feel that cartoonishly large lump in your throat. Chugging water, your impossibly distended esophagus pressure-washed clean. All you're doing is turning the pasty, thick mass between your teeth and tongue into a sludge that you can swallow like a baby bird. The fill/flood technique might do for speed, but it's not sustainable. I felt bad enough at the time without having to deal with digestive issues that tactic would be sure to prompt.

I kept chewing. I destroyed as much of this monster that I could before the bell rang. I strained my jaw muscles open and closed and open again, the aqua vitae swishing a heterogeneous mess down my gullet before I slammed another mouthful in between my teeth.

When the clock ran out, I set down my fork. More than 75 per cent of the damnable sandwich was demolished. The rest languished tauntingly on the plate before me. It was nothing but the barest remnant of beef, concealed by a Stonehenge of bread crust and leftover sauce.

Our server was adamant that we had come closer than most to finishing the challenge. Despite her kind words, she didn't look surprised at our failure for a second. The walk out the door was the hard part -- simply the sheer physics of moving. We were a burping, groaning trio reclining on nearby park benches for the rest of the evening, commiserating and digesting in equal measure.

The stink of failure clung to me afterwards. Eventually the shame would pass, along with the rest of the digested beef, slithering gracefully from me into a sparkling porcelain bowl. When it vanished into the depths below like a high-scoring Olympic diver, I felt better than I had since that fateful bell tolled.

Burger boxes are an essential component of the fast food industry. They play a crucial role in maintaining the quality and freshness of burgers during transportation and delivery. While many people might not give much thought to burger boxes, they are the unsung heroes of the fast food industry.

One of the biggest challenges in burger packaging is maintaining the quality of the burger during transport. When burgers are stacked on top of each other, the weight and pressure can lead to wilted lettuce and pancake-flat buns. This can result in an unappetizing burger that does not meet the customer's expectations.

That's where burger boxes come in. They are designed to protect the burger's quality during transport by keeping it upright and free from pressure. This ensures that the lettuce stays crisp, and the bun retains its shape and texture. With the right burger box, customers can enjoy a fresh, delicious burger that meets their expectations every time.

In addition to protecting the burger's quality during transport, burger boxes also help to maintain the temperature of the burger. Fast food restaurants typically serve burgers hot off the grill, and the challenge is to ensure that the burger remains hot during transportation. Burger boxes are designed with insulation to keep the burger warm for longer, ensuring that it reaches the customer in the same state as when it left the restaurant.

Burger boxes also offer convenience for both customers and delivery drivers. They are designed to be easy to handle, making them ideal for transport and delivery. Customers can order a burger online and have it delivered to their doorstep without worrying about the quality of the burger being compromised during transportation.

However, there are still challenges in burger box design that need to be addressed. One of the biggest challenges is the use of single-use packaging, which contributes to environmental pollution. Fast food chains are exploring ways to reduce the amount of packaging used and switch to more sustainable options.

One solution to this challenge is the use of eco-friendly materials for burger boxes. Biodegradable and compostable materials are now being used for burger boxes, which offer the same level of protection and freshness as traditional materials while being better for the environment. This is a positive step towards reducing the environmental impact of fast food packaging.

Another challenge in burger box design is the demand for more personalized packaging options. Customers want their burger boxes to be customized with a variety of designs, colors, and shapes. This has led to the development of customized burger boxes, which offer an opportunity for fast food chains to create a unique brand identity and enhance the customer experience.

In conclusion, burger boxes are the unsung heroes of the fast food industry. They play a critical role in ensuring that customers receive fresh, warm, and delicious burgers that meet their expectations every time. By protecting the quality of the burger during transportation, maintaining the temperature, and offering convenience for customers and delivery drivers, burger boxes have become an essential component of the fast food industry. While there are still challenges in burger box design, including reducing environmental impact and meeting the demand for personalized packaging options, the future of burger boxes looks bright.

The Yebo Group is an all-in-one packaging and printing solution. Whether you're a startup or a big corporation, Yebo amplifies the impact of your product by providing the most advanced custom printing and packaging options in the industry.

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I truly don't blame Boston's BJ Novak for commenting 'No' underneath this post from OnlyinBos on Instagram. Of course he meant it in a joking, fun way, and wasn't actually asked to do it. Still, I'm sure the restaurant would love it if BJ or any of our favorite area celebrities participated in the challenge and attempted to eat this wickedly insane burger.

Six pounds of beef. SIX POUNDS. I can't even right now. I mean, don't most of us only eat around a quarter pound of beef when we're filling our tummy with our favorite burger? There are 24 slices of cheese on this bad boy, as well as 24 strips of bacon. WHOA. Oh, and don't forget the five pounds of French fries. Now here's the funniest part if you're not already laughing and shaking your head at this challenge. There's just one deli pickle to go along with this entire burger and fries bonanza. LOL.

If you want to attempt this biggest burger challenge at Eagle's Deli, it will cost you $69.99 and you have one hour to clean your plate. I hear they'll bring you extra buns if you need them. Phew, well maybe.

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