Banshee Binge
Kristin Dampeer
This morning however I woke up to a dog that looked like he would commit suicide if he knew what suicide is and how to complete it. Fortunately he does not have access to a firearm at the moment. But in all seriousness he looked like death warmed up in an Easy Bake Oven.
Vitalized with a sense of release, my dog trotted his happy ass back toward home. And what did we pass but another decaying specimen! Except my dog was on a leash this time and was therefore unable to snatch this decomposing scoundrel into his impenetrable jaws. That did not, however, stop him from trying with all his canine might. It suddenly struck me that my dog and I are hardly different.
I recognize that going on a date, falling in love or entering into a relationship has the potential to make me as happy as my dog was when he swallowed his rotting rat. I also know all too well that often times going on a date, falling in love, or entering into a relationship actively causes me to feel like death warmed up in an Easy Bake Oven. Yet I continue to try with all my human might to snag a special critter. The thrill of swallowing love whole, no matter the consequences, is simply irresistible.
Although I have been out of the dating game for some time now, I can respect this idea. I seem to treat many things in my life like the rotting critter: alcohol, foods that are bad for me, binge watching netficks, and sometimes my job.
Elizabeth Caudy was born in 1979 to a writer and a photographer. She has been writing since she was five years old. She has a BFA from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago and an MFA in photography from Columbia College Chicago. She lives outside Chicago with her husband, Tom. Find Elizabeth on Google+ and on her personal blog.
I have schizo effective disorder, I find myself looking around the shops & then spending money on clothes & then after a few weeks i will empty my entire bedroom wardrobe, & i will start again buying the same clothes a few mouths later, i know now its part of my illness i do laugh at myself the things i have done due to my illness.
Hi Elizabeth,
The article you wrote is very insightful. I tend to overspend on little things and occasionally big purchases. The voices have said that I owe them money and they want what's due to them. It's so hard to believe that these invisible entities can demand and direct my spending habits; even purchases that will benefit my wellness plan. It's about truly thinking (sometimes planning) on purchases. I will try your plan of thinking about purchasing before spending; sounds like it helped you. Do you have any other suggestions for binge spending, today?
Dear Fran,
Thank you for your comment. Fran is one of my favorite names! I highly recommend you talk to your doctor about the fact that your voices are commanding you to spend money. Proper treatment with the help of my doctor was key in my getting stable, and therefore in getting over binge spending.
Take Care,
Elizabeth
I didn't really receive any treatment for spending. I just found myself in a position where I didn't have any money to spend, and now that I have money again, the experience scared me so bad that I'm very frugal. I don't recommend this form of "treatment" for spending, but that's what happened to me.
3 oat fudge bars (starbucks), lots bread with butter and 10 easter eggs. OUCH. This day 2, but in the last 3 months i have binged on an average of 4 out of 7 days. wtf. I gave myself premission for onelast one, casue yesterday was not good and my hubby was around so i had to hide. Trying to lose those lst 10LB has been on going and its all becasue im a sugar addict. I feel happy, playful and content, waiting for the crash of depression. It follows from guilt or trying to end the sugar addiction. Eitherway the depression will be there , so tomorrow i prepare to feel like shit for a week while I detok from sugar and gain control of my life. READ THE SUGAR SHOCK
My biggest binge? Hard to say. It might have been finishing an entire jumbo box of Honey Bunches of Oats, poptarts, brownies, cookies, and Candybars. More than what I ate, what sticks with me was how I felt. I was shaking from all the sugar, and I remember trying to throw it up, because I felt disgusting, but I only succeeded in making myself gag. I felt like even more of a failure. I was sweating, I felt like my head was about to explode, and I felt so achingly thirsty, but without any desire to drink water, because it would only fill me up more. I ripped myself apart in my mind, curled up in bed, and cried.
SO much compassion and love for all who have written and/or are reading: I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Its happening (the binges) as a response to ...what? I suspect feeling out of control emotionally; the bingeing diverts our time effort and focus away from whatever we might have been feeling. I have been scared, confused and overwhelmed and had the strangest of days today, I am living overseas; far far from home and the diligence and control of a healthy lifestyle crashed just now. SO I just ate a double dinner and then out of nowhere just had to go to the convenience store for bread and butter; pastries. At least not as sugar loaded as cookies and chocolate bars. I put myself at risk going out alone in this environment just before midnight. The worst part is how my health suffers as it is fragile at the moment; post sugar I often get a day of mad energy followed by a slump and then toxicity ie headaches and energy crash. I keep listening to Louise Hays self esteem affirmations, I think this helps. I also read a good piece of advice, what could you do for yourself today that would make you feel proud of yourself tomorrow, it made me assess that I never really feel proud of myself so there is work to do there. Peaceful blessings to everyone
The Banshee defines the modern sports class. Light, low, with sweeping curves and perfect lines, the only thing under its mile-long hood is a feral V8 twin-turbo fighting for space with its driver's colossal manhood. But trust us, the base model is just the start. When we're done, it'll look like your Banshee ate another Banshee at the peak of an all-night steroid binge. Eligible for customization at Benny's Original Motor Works.
This type of activity became en vogue years ago with full-season DVDs of "The Sopranos" or "24." The DVR, the Internet and Netflix have made bingeing even easier. Cable networks air all-day marathons of their shows to pull newbies in as well.
While older shows such as "Lost" are still binge-watched to this day, networks have made current shows readily available on demand with hopes the shows could gain word of mouth and generate more viewers each new season. This worked like a charm for a serialized show with a finite ending such as AMC's "Breaking Bad," which opened slow but drew a series-high 10.3 million by its finale last year (compared to its fourth season finale, which drew a mere 1.9 million viewers). HBO's "Game of Thrones," in its fourth season, has seen its ratings skyrocket thanks partly to binge watching.
There are plenty of shows frequently cited as binge-watching prospects such as PBS' "Downton Abbey," HBO's "True Detective" or Netflix's "House of Cards." Here are five less obvious options that are still relatively new:
What it's about: Sarah, a small-time con woman, sees a clone of herself commit suicide by jumping in front of a subway. She discovers multiple clones of herself and the fact there are factions battling over her very existence as a clone.
Where you can binge easily: Season one is on Amazon Prime Instant Video. FX is airing season two now with all episodes from this season on the FX website as long as you can authenticate you have a proper cable or satellite subscription.
What it's about: Life in the eighth century for Norse Vikings, who plunder and pillage as you'd expect and have aspirations to take over the lands of the bloody Brits. Rising warrior Ragnar Lothbrok is a curious, thoughtful version of a Viking though he can be just as brutal as the next Viking when need be.
What it's about: An ex-con takes the identity of a sheriff from a tiny Pennsylvania town, where he continues his criminal ways while trying to keep off the radar of ruthless mobsters he double-crossed years before. It's executive produced by Alan Ball, better known for HBO's "True Blood."
c80f0f1006