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Back at ya (yes, it is impressive that I am "the only one" utilizing a flat-file public-access database of text). We've had our ups and we've had our downs, Portland Metro, but are we ready to have a little "fair fun"? (It's an old idea, you could ask but people wouldn't want you to.) Here are some "Rubard's Rules" for truly "Portlandian" living somewhat in the style of those promulgated by the cretinous Roger Stone for all and sundry throughout human history.
1. One's choice of coffeeshop is a matter of complete indifference.
2. It's important to read a range of periodicals, including those from abroad.
3. Speaking of, let them ask you out.
4. Just don't drink that much.
5. Maybe drugs are really bad for you?
6. Shows are for kids. They are. ("Kids are for shows" is the logical dual.)
7. Movies are an American art form transcending our local proclivities.
8. Go to the park. Take them to the park.
9. The suburbs are nice. People there have heard of *you*.
10. There is the "new cuisine" and the new food. They are different.
Try it out, if you like.
Indifferently at liberty,
Jeffrey Rubard