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"Rubard's Rules for Portlanders" (A joke implicit)

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rubard...@gmail.com

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Feb 2, 2020, 4:16:36 PM2/2/20
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Back at ya (yes, it is impressive that I am "the only one" utilizing a flat-file public-access database of text). We've had our ups and we've had our downs, Portland Metro, but are we ready to have a little "fair fun"? (It's an old idea, you could ask but people wouldn't want you to.) Here are some "Rubard's Rules" for truly "Portlandian" living somewhat in the style of those promulgated by the cretinous Roger Stone for all and sundry throughout human history.

1. One's choice of coffeeshop is a matter of complete indifference.
2. It's important to read a range of periodicals, including those from abroad.
3. Speaking of, let them ask you out.
4. Just don't drink that much.
5. Maybe drugs are really bad for you?
6. Shows are for kids. They are. ("Kids are for shows" is the logical dual.)
7. Movies are an American art form transcending our local proclivities.
8. Go to the park. Take them to the park.
9. The suburbs are nice. People there have heard of *you*.
10. There is the "new cuisine" and the new food. They are different.

Try it out, if you like.
Indifferently at liberty,

Jeffrey Rubard

Jeffrey Rubard

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Dec 7, 2021, 2:07:33 AM12/7/21
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I take it back. "Never Doubt City." I never understood them, anyway.

Jeffrey Rubard

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 12, 2022, 12:29:48 AM1/12/22
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2022 Update: They did once allow people like "Stosh Piznarski" in Portland. Maybe never again, and you "manic pixie dream boys" have to cope. (Other people doing your coping for you? That's bad.)

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 12, 2022, 9:49:12 PM1/12/22
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OTOH, do area longtimers remember the "No Smokin'!" ad at Regal Cinemas? (The only weird thing was actually mentioning tobacco consumption as a modern-day habit.)

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 13, 2022, 9:36:43 AM1/13/22
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"I'm seriously considering leaving home."

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 19, 2022, 12:57:49 AM1/19/22
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Yeah, I'm not such a fan of the modern area.
But hey, "Stosh", get it: "Portland Portland" people and you don't think of you as the same.
You hear "Takes a lot to live here" a bunch? It does. Now more than ever.

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 19, 2022, 5:58:48 PM1/19/22
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"Oh, w'll learn 'em, man."
Why? Also, after some years of trying that...

Jeffrey Rubard

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Jan 21, 2022, 12:51:25 AM1/21/22
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You might need to realize, "Stosh", that the modern-day city crowd's a lot fancier than us.
Like, almost all of them are more "chic" than almost all of us.
So the point d'appui for "country virtue" might just really be only...
"I see."
Good of you.
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