I'M SO BROKE

[Lynne inTexas]

I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
            I'm so broke me and my girlfriend
got married for the rice.
            I'm so broke, if a trip around the
world cost a nickel, I wouldn't have enough to leave the couch!
            I'm so broke that I just went into
McDonald's and put a small fry on layaway.
            If pickles were 10 cents a truckload
I couldn't buy a wart off a cucumber!
            I'm so broke, just to rub two
nickels together, I'd have to borrow one.
            We were so broke, that at Christmas,
all we could exchange was glances.
            I'm so broke, the bank asked for
their calendar back.
            I'm so broke, long distance
companies don't even call me to switch!
            If I stopped on a dime, I'd probably
owe it to someone.
            I ain't broke, but I'm severely
bent.
            Someone saw me kicking a can down
the street, and when asked what I was doing I said, "Moving."
            I'm so broke I can't afford to pay
attention!
            A guy walked into our house, stepped
on a cigarette and my Mom yelled, "Who turned off the heat?"
            I'm so broke that when someone saw
my Mom walking down the street with one shoe, they said, "Hey, you lost
a shoe." She said, "No, I found one."
            We're so broke that if someone rings
our doorbell I have to yell, "Ding Dong!" out the window.