An Intro

[TwoSpirits]

Well, this is interesting.
I don't know about anyone else. I've known I was "passive aggressive"
since I was 11 years old. How can I say that?
I was forced to share a bedroom with a whiney older brother. He used
to cry about no one liking him and he was going to show them by
running away but then he wouldn't go. So, I convinced him that mom
said he was too chicken to leave and then opened the window for him.
After he jumped, I closed the window and went back to bed. When it was
time to get up, I played it up. Oh, I was so sad... I cried and was
soooo worried.
When they found him, they started sending me to a shrink where I
learned my "label". Do I suffer from it? I guess, if there's something
I can get out of saying I do. Otherwise, no. I have accepted that I
have an outer me and an inner me. Almost an MPD. I've even named them.
Jesse is not a very nice guy but Duane (my given name) is a nice guy.
I've found that I put people in 2 categories. Useful and disposable.
So, how do I get through life? A lot of ups and downs. I'm successful
at everything I do (until I sabotage my success and move on to
something else). I could do like my brother did and play the wacko
card and live on disability but I hate failing. If I did that, Jesse
would take over again and I don't know if I'd live through it again.
It took drug rehab and a lot of hard work to learn to be "socially
acceptable".
When I say "socially acceptable" I mean marginally. Most people I know
still find me too forward. Little do they know that that's just Duane
trying to protect himself by letting out a little Jesse.
So, weird enough for ya? LOL. I've taken every Psych class I could
while in college and while I was taking Abnormal Psych, I thought
"Ahhh, so that's what they were trying to do..." The only thing that
made sense was rehab, the AA program and my relationship with my God
as I understand him.
So, life goes on...
TwoSpirits

[Alan Howard]

Hi Duane, welcome to this list.

I really appreciate you sharing your story.  It's amazing how passive aggression can come about in different people, with different lives and experiences.

Thanks for joining us, and if you have any questions, please don't hesitate in asking.



Alan