FW: PARENTING TIP/ "Battered men jostle for space in crowded Danish shelters" ACCESS DENIAL ATTACHMENT

[Marius Janse van Rensburg]

 

 

From: Asif Suleman [mailto:as...@medis.co.za]
Sent: 14 March 2008 12:15 PM
To: undisclosed-recipients
Subject: PARENTING TIP/ "Battered men jostle for space in crowded Danish shelters" ACCESS DENIAL ATTACHMENT

 

"From the women's movement we get: “We are Women. Hear us Roar" From the father’s movement we get "We are Men. Hear us Whimper" Allan Buteau-Canadian Fathers Rights Activist-November 2007    HI   F4J SA MEMBERS AND SUPPORTERS.....I hope you all roar whether male /female We will not whimper and go aground anymore...we will stand up and never relinquish the protection of the best interests of a child after parental separation ...THEREFORE SEE THE ATTACHMENTS IF YOU ARE DENIED ACCESS.JOIN SPREAD THE WORD AND SUPPORT F4J  SO THAT YOU TOO CAN ROAR AS 1 VOICE   I have often spoken of battered men and the shame [like all victims of domestic violence ] they feel. the article sent in by Jeremy Swanson speaks of a shelter for battered men in DENMARK . I don't know of any in RSA. “When a marriage breaks down fathers are judicially, culturally and legislatively disadvantaged on the basis of gender" Edward Kruk PhD, University of British Columbia-1990   ON A SEPERATE NOTE: HOW DO INDIVIDUALS FEEL ABOUT THE EXPOSURE OF OUR CHILDREN TO NEW PARTNERS? WHENS AN APPROPRIATE TIME? HOW WOULD YOU GO ABOUT IT?   THERE IS A NEED  TO OPEN NEW f4j branches by individuals willing to commit beyond their personal case.    REQUIREMENTS 1]HONESTY AND COMMITMENT 2] WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND ASSIST 3]ADSL/INTERNET 4] NEUTRALITY WITH COMMITMENT TO PROTECT A CHILDS BEST INTEREST   ACTION POINTS for Committed Dads   -   Make plans to do a one-on-one activity with each of your kids.   -   Think back to your childhood. What qualities did your dad or father figure model for you?   -   Whenever you correct your child or challenge him to do something, give him permission to ask, "Do you do this, Dad?"   -   Model healthy respect and honor toward your wife and/or other women in your life through your actions and your speech.   -   Commit yourself to a higher level of involvement in helping your child reach her goals and dreams.           ARTICLE SENT IN BY JEREMY   Battered men jostle for space in crowded Danish shelters http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5igteOZgLxUonr2XDC0JLWQqb0YTg   Thorkild Vestergaard-Hansen, the director of the Mandecentret COPENHAGEN (AFP) — Battered women in Denmark have a multitude of shelters to choose from but men in need of a haven after divorce, losing their job or fleeing abusive wives have to elbow for room in just three brimming crisis centres.   Overlooking a canal in the picturesque Christianshavn neighbourhood of Copenhagen sits a red brick building with large bay windows: Mandecentret, the Scandinavian country's newest centre for men in distress.   Inside the 650-square-metre (7,000-square-foot) building, the ambience is tranquil, with modern furniture, paintings on the walls, 12 rooms equipped with televisions and Internet connections, and professional counsellors to help men in need.   Two other such centres exist in Denmark, but Mandecentret is the first in northern Europe to offer professional help to men fleeing from psychologically or physically abusive wives or floundering after a divorce.   Fathers can also stay here with their children for short periods.   Three shelters for all of Denmark "is largely insufficient and the needs are enormous," laments Thorkild Vestergaard-Hansen, who heads Mandecentret.   "It's crazy that the men's crisis centres don't receive the same amount of subsidies as the 40 or so women's shelters," he says.   Winnie Bendtson, a counsellor at the centre, notes that the men are not usually physically beaten.   "But it does happen that women throw anything within range at their husbands, even threaten them with knives," she says.   The men who seek help are often the victims of "very domineering" women, and some are "forbidden from using their own money, seeing their family and friends, forced to come home at a set time and locked out if they're a few minutes late."   Mandecentret was opened in September 2007 and is a pilot project due to run for three years, financed primarily by the state which contributed 12.5 million kroner (1.7 million euros, 2.57 million dollars) and some private foundations.   "More than 300 men have been helped at the shelter in five months. They learn to live again and adapt to the role of being a weekend father," Bendtson says.   She and five other social workers help watch over the men, making sure they "go to work and don't turn to alcohol or drugs."   In the two other centres -- Horsens, Denmark's first men's shelter opened in 1988 and Fredericia, which each have four rooms -- hundreds of men seek help each year from volunteers. Mia Lund, a student, and 10 other volunteers help run Horsens, located in western Denmark.   "These are real cries for help we get from these men, who are aged anywhere from 20 to 70," Lund says.   Thomas Pedersen, an unemployed 47-year-old entrepreneur, has stayed at Horsens for more than three months.   "It was a shock for me to find out that the woman I had been living with for 13 years, the mother of my two daughters, didn't want to live with me anymore," he confides.   His ex-wife sold the family home, which belonged to her, and he found himself homeless. He ended up turning to the shelter.   "My situation was desperate and I wanted to stay in touch with my two daughters, Caroline-Mathilde and Marie-Louise, who are eight and six," he says.   He notes that "a divorce is costly" and it is "easy" to turn to the bottle.   For researcher Kenneth Reiniche, the author of a report entitled "Man?", most divorces leave men "in a state of shock."   Contrary to women, "a lot of men don't have close social relationships to turn to in the event of a sudden crisis. They are more socially fragile, they have a hard time handling a divorce," he says.   He notes that men often have a hard time admitting that they are not well, compounded by the fact that they are surrounded by the myth that "real" men do not succumb to crises. In Denmark, there are 15,000 divorces and 30,000 marriages each year, out of a total population of 5.4 million.     FATHERS 4 JUSTICE KZN MEETS ON THE 1ST WEDNESDAY OF EACH MONTH AT 7PM ADDRESS BELOW ONCE MORE EMAIL CONTACT ONLY PLEASE .....please do not come to my practice for F4J, you are welcome as patients , but prevent me from earning a living and attending to my patients, F4J is run by vilunteers at no earnings, and we need you to help yourself and each other by buddying up, and disseminating the info given. publicise the work of F4J...REMEMBER WE ARE A CHILDRENS RIGHTS ACTIVIST MOVEMENT WITH GENDER NEUTRALITY WE ARE NOT PRO DAD ANTI MUM AND ACT IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF CHILDREN ONLY   HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND..SAY A PRAYER FOR ALL OUR KIDS DR ASIF SULEMAN [MbChB-NATAL] REGIONAL CO-ORDINATOR FATHERS-4-JUSTICE[KZN] 453 WINDERMERE RD,  MORNINGSIDE DURBAN   082 777 55 77 031-312 34 88 /032 944 3769 0865 165 915     INTENDED RECIPIENTS ONLY.F4J IS A REGISTERED NGO/NPO ACTIVELY PROMOTING A CHILDS BEST INTERESTS AFTER PARENTAL SEPERATION.PARENTAL ALIENATION IS CHILD ABUSE.LET OUR KIDS BE THE WINNERS AND NOT THE PRIZE

 

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.21.7/1328 - Release Date: 2008/03/13 11:31 AM

No virus found in this outgoing message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 7.5.519 / Virus Database: 269.21.7/1328 - Release Date: 2008/03/13 11:31 AM