2005 King Kong Trailer

[Lynne Pruskowski]

Doyou remember the animated TV show adaption of the Donkey Kong Country video game that was aired on Fox Family and had its collection of Japanese-exclusive action figures and merchandise a long time ago? It was about the main heroes, Donkey Kong, the future ruler of an island, known as "Kongo Bongo," and his friend Diddy Kong, who protect the magical coconut-shaped orb from the evil crocodile creatures. But, here is my story that haunted me for life.

It all started when I was busy playing Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest on my Super Nintendo Entertainment System. I loved the Donkey Kong Country franchise that I have all of the toys, games, "The Legend of the Crystal Coconut" VHS, and even the complete 1st season DVD of the Donkey Kong Country TV series. But, not long after, my mom walked in my bedroom, as I paused the video game I was playing, and she told me there was a package outside the front door. Does it belong to me? I have never even ordered another package today, so I curiously went outside, and I knew that the package box was outside of the door. I got it out of the ground and took it to my bedroom, as my mom left.

When I got back to my room, I secretly opened my package inside the box, and it was revealed to be... ...a DVD of the Donkey Kong Country TV series, but it was THX-certified. I was confused at first, because I know that Donkey Kong shouldn't be involved with THX or anything. The cover of this DVD consisted of the main cast, DK, Diddy, Funky, Candy, and Cranky (with their original Season 1 animation), up close to the shot, while Tex was seen is in a dark background. The titles on the cover were the Donkey Kong Country logo on the left, and THX on the right. "Let me guess, another one of Adam Kennington's tricks?" I thought to myself. I then shrugged, and decided to let go of my fears and turned on my TV. Finally, I inserted this disc onto my DVD player. I went and grabbed my snacks, soda, and popcorn to enjoy the trailer.

The DVD player then started, and first showed the Nelvana logo, the company that was involved with the Donkey Kong Country television series. Then, there was the language menu, with the following options, English, French, and Spanish. I chose English, because that's what I normally watch my DVDs on. And finally, it took me to the main menu. The menu depicted of Donkey Kong and four of his friends, that were previously shown on the DVD cover, in front of the THX logo. The menu options were: Play, Visit THX, and DVD Credits. I pressed Play so I can watch the trailer. It then cuts to black, until there was a warning.

"This trailer was made to promote the release of the 1998 remake of Psycho, despite not being THX-certified. It also contains unsettling and very gruesome imagery and content that are not suitable for children. Please watch at your own risk."

The trailer started with a shot of King K. Rool's lair at night. Inside, King K. Rool was inside sleeping on his stool. Just then, he heard a sound that sounded like Tex's jetpack. That strange sound woke K. Rool up.

The two Kongs then walked over to the barrel elevator. Diddy hopped on. DK punched the elevator down button and joins along with Diddy inside. The elevator then takes DK and Diddy down. The scene fades to black.

It then fades to the Kongo Bongo Island beachfront, outside from Funky's Flights, and outside from Candy's home, where Donkey Kong is starting a meeting, with Diddy, Candy, Funky, Bluster, and Dixie attending.

The entire cast is looking around at a very strange figure, floating into the sky. The figure then flew around the island and landed on the ground in front of the crew. The figure was revealed to be none other than... ...TEX!

"Surprise, Kong Kronies. The sexiest, dexiest Tex of them all has landed, and that is ME." Tex spoke, while laughing maniacally. "Your big croc king nemesis and all your other enemies are gone now. This time, I'm the new king." Tex said, to DK.

Tex then grinned evilly as Funky asked. Tex pulls Funky's sunglasses out to reveal Funky's bleeding bloodshot eyes. Funky screams realistically in horrific pain. The residents of Kongo Bongo screamed loudly as they react to the disturbing reveal of Funky's eyes.

Tex grabs Funky and spins him around very fast with one hand, while the other Kongs are watching in horror. Tex finally lets go, as Funky screams painfully again and gets launched to a far-away spot in the ocean. Just then, two sharks in a background show up and eat Funky in pieces. I was frightened because sharks never appeared in the Donkey Kong Country TV series, but they're only mentioned in some episodes.

The Kong residents scream again, but it's more painful and louder. The Kongs try to hide in different places. Candy Kong leaves the beachfront and runs for her life from Tex, while Dixie joins and follows her. Tex sees the two female Kongs run and presses the orange button on his chest to activate his jetpack. Tex starts flying at Candy and Dixie, while they're screaming and running out of the beachfront. Tex drops down and trips over the two females. Candy and Dixie fall down and they cannot move.

Tex then brings out a chainsaw and Candy shrieks in horror, while Dixie closes her eyes cries realistically in fear. Tex's chainsaw starts, and uses it to cut Candy and Dixie in half. Just before the chainsaw makes contact with the two female Kongs, the scene cuts to black.

The chainsaw sounds, screaming, and fearful cries are so loud that I closed my ears, but they keep bleeding instead. I then paused my DVD and went to the bathroom to wash my bleeding ears with a wet towel. I also received a headache after the sounds, so I went to my room and continued to watch the DVD anyway.

"That robot is wreaking too much havoc, I just know it!" said Bluster. "If only I could hide in one of the trees, then the robot will leave me and everyone on this island alone. Another very excellent and greedy plan, Bluster!" Bluster thought to himself, while chuckling in greed.

Bluster dashes off and hides in one of the trees. He's worried that the robot will come out and kill him, but he sighed in relief and walked alone. Just then, sounds of Tex's loud chainsaw cutting down a tree is heard. It startled Bluster. Bluster turns around and sees that a tree is about to fall down and crush him. Bluster screams realistically in horror.

That scene was disgusting that made me start to throw up. I then hold my breath and left to the bathroom to vomit in the toilet. After what I've seen, I feel better. But the trailer wasn't over yet. I need to continue watching.

The booby-traps inside the temple appear out of nowhere and are acting like crazy! DK and Diddy screamed and ran for their lives. Donkey Kong tried to dodge the dangerous attacks, but Diddy was no match for them.

Diddy's eardrums and brain were awfully damaged, then his heart got stabbed by another shooting arrow. He fell down in death and never moved. That scene was very gory that I had to close my eyes in fear. DK turned around to Diddy and gasped.

"Little buddy... NOOOO!!!" cried DK, after seeing Diddy's death. Donkey Kong was sobbing at Diddy's death, but his sobbing was realistic, instead of cartoony, and sounded like as if Richard Yearwood, the voice of DK, was actually in tears. After that very sad death scene, DK then continued to run faster inside the temple, and finally reached to the trap door, which lead him to the secret lair of Inka Dinka Doo.

"Oh, mighty Inka Dinka Doo!" pleaded DK, after walking up to Inka Dinka Doo. "There lies an evil robot that wants to destroy us all and our beloved island because of his fearsome logo, and my little buddy Diddy died inside your ancient temple."

DK then turns around and stands up to Tex again and spoke. "Back off our island. The Crystal Coconut made me the future ruler. You're never gonna stop me. You are a much worse enemy than King K. Rool."

"Oh, and I did receive a little farewell present for you." Tex said, then places a pipe bomb on the ground, much to DK's fear. "Now, where do they hide the Crystal Coconut?" Tex wondered, then flew out of the temple.

Another scene showed the view of Cranky's cabin. Inside the cabin, Cranky was snoring on his own rocking chair, mumbling in his sleep. The screen moved to a blue metal orb-shaped case, where the Crystal Coconut is resting inside at. Just then, a sudden figure opened the doors of the cabin, with a shadow emerging that looked very similar to Tex.

Another shot shows Tex, who has entered inside the cabin. Tex slowly sneaked to the blue case, while grinning evilly, as the robotic footstep sounds, coming from Tex, alerted Cranky. Cranky woke up and gasped as Tex is sneaking inside.

Tex then lets go of the Coconut, as it falls down to the ground, the speed of the shot of the Coconut falling down is slow-motion, with Cranky watching it in fear. The speed cuts back to normal as the Crystal Coconut loudly breaks in big pieces. Tex slowly stared at the broken magical orb. Then, the next shot showed the island of Kongo Bongo at night, making a large earthquake, as if it's about to sink down to the bottom of the ocean. Then it cuts back to the cabin, where Cranky blames Tex for breaking the Coconut.

Cranky screams in pain as he's about to get crushed. Just then, he gets killed by Tex's push and is painfully crushed by the wall, with a big disgusting blood splatter. Tex laughed maniacally in triumph, then uses the flamethrower on the cabin, and finally flies off the island. Cranky's cabin is burning and bursting into flames. The screen cuts to black.

"Greetings, Donkey Kong Country fans. The T-Man is back for more revenge, and this time, I've killed all of your favorite characters from that animated TV series abomination adaption of the Donkey Kong Country video games. Oh, and I also even killed Eddie the Mean Old Yeti from the White Mountains and Baby Kong, too. Be warned... If you ever fear me, my logo, the Donkey Kong Country TV show, or even the one that I'm holding, Eddie the Yeti or Baby Kong, I will find you, and I will kill you. Sayonara, sweet nightmares, AND LET THE BEDBUGS BITE." Tex then said with a demonic voice. Finally, Tex flew away into the night sky, laughing evilly.

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