Partners Issue # 101
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G K Lim
Mar 5, 2005, 9:33:24 PM3/5/05
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Dedicated to the personal and professional development of PMEE's --
professionals, managers, executives, and entrepreneurs -- everywhere.
Issue # 101
Seventh year in publication
Since July 1, 1998
Current number of subscribers: 2,102
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"IN THIS ISSUE"
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[1] Editor's Corner
[2] Article For Your Personal Development: "Time Management: How To Get
More Done"
[3] Article For Your Business Development: "Games are a Reflection of
Behavior"
[4] Attitude Vitamins
[5] Stress Buster
[6] Feel Good Classic: "The Rabbi's Gift"
[7] Chop Suey Rojak
[8] Sponsors' Messages
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[1] "EDITOR'S CORNER"
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Hi,
It's that time of the year again -- what a cliché!
Anyway, yep, it's vacation time for most people.
We'll be packing our bags too. Hurray! For that annual pilgrimage to our
village, to visit our folks, and other folks who never left (wonder why they
never left the village for the cities), to pamper ourselves with food we
don't normally get in the cities. Time to put on shorts and T-shirts, pull
out that old motorcycle or bicycle, and move around the wonderful
countryside. Time to enjoy the beautiful sceneries of our childhood. Time
to visit that old grocer who sold us sweets and popcorn when we were kids.
Time to savor the smell, the sounds, the colors. Of course the notebook
follows us. How could you ever leave your notebook behind? Oh, no, that
would be disastrous, not with 100 over emails flooding our browsers each
day. Sigh.
Before we go off for our holidays, here's Issue 101 of "Partners." Lovingly
put together, and mailed to you.
We have an article on time management, and another on negotiation skills.
And our Feel Good article is worth a read.
Well, enjoy issue # 101!
And Seasons Greetings
Cheers!
G K Lim < www.gklim.com >
Editor / Publisher
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[2] "ARTICLE -- PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT"
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Time Management: How To Get More Done
By Shawn Meldrum
If you can regularly ask yourself "Am I regularly and consistently working
on those items that will move me towards my clearly defined goals?" and
honestly answer "Yes" then you are probably doing ok.
If not, here are a few time wasters to be aware of and some strategies for
protecting your time (priorities).
MAIL: Don't waste your time on junk mail (unless you are specifically
looking for good marketing ideas to borrow) - if possible get someone else
to go through your mail and sort out the junk and take care of the routine
items.
If you do want to save the junk mail have it placed in a box or file that
you can go through when you are brainstorming for new ideas. (This is
commonly called a "Swipe File" by most writers - a resource to generate good
ideas that you can swipe and adapt to your own use.)
MEETINGS: Scheduled and unscheduled meetings can be a terrible waste of
time. Don't allow people to just drop in on you without an appointment and a
purpose. Avoid any scheduled meetings that you possibly can.
If you are in charge of a meeting - make sure you have a plan for keeping it
short and focused. If you have to attend a meeting and you are not in
charge - have a plan for escaping once you are done with your portion (such
as a phone call or appointment at a pre-arranged time).
Also, stop meeting people at restaurants, etc. They will invariably keep you
waiting. Instead have them meet you at your office. That way, if they are
late, you can continue to be productive. If you must meet them outside of
the office, take something with you to read or work on while you are
waiting.
DOWN TIME: Meaning time that you spend waiting, traveling, sick, etc.
Always have something to do, or to listen to, or to read. Ask yourself "What
is stackable?" In other words, what tasks can I combine and do at the same
time, such as listening to training tapes while commuting.
LACK OF PLANNING: There is an old saying that I often repeat to myself:
"Having lost sight of our objective, we re-doubled our efforts". In other
words, not knowing where we were going we got there twice as fast.
Take a little time each day to focus on your tasks at hand and make sure
they are leading you towards your goals. If they are not, then eliminate
them all together or delegate them if necessary.
Then chart out the day in such a way that maximizes your available time.
Combine activities where possible and block out portions of the day to
accomplish the most important tasks. Then keep your appointments with
yourself as strictly as you would with your most important client.
INTERRUPTIONS: The greatest productivity usually comes from being able to
focus on a project for an extended period of time without interruption.
Interruptions not only waste the time of the interruption itself but also
the time to refocus your concentration on the task at hand.
Do whatever you can to avoid interruptions. If possible, have someone else
answer the phone and then return calls at a designated time for calls. Train
your clients, etc. to call during that time.
Become inaccessible to those that regularly steal your time by dropping in
or calling to shoot the breeze. Hide if you have too. When I worked for a
real estate company many years ago I specifically asked for the office that
was hidden away down in the basement. It had it's own outside entrance so I
could come and go without the other agents knowing I was there, eliminating
all those unnecessary little interruptions.
If you can't hide, be busy and be obvious about it so others are less apt to
interrupt.
DISORGANIZATION: "A place for everything, and everything in its place" is
good advice. Few things waste more time than having to hunt for something
every time you need it. Keep a clean desk, work on one thing at a time and
put it away when you're done. (Sorry if I sound like your mother)
PAPERWORK: This can be a great time waster. If you have stacks of paper and
files all over your desk or office do yourself a favor and go buy a filing
cabinet and some file folders. Set up drawers for specific types of files,
etc.
Have a place for every type of file or paperwork. Go through everything in
your office and either file it or throw it away. Buy dividers or organizers
or whatever is necessary to systematize the flow of paperwork through your
office.
LACK OF FOCUS: Anything that keeps you from focusing on your priorities
during those times you have chosen to be productive must be eliminated. That
means TV, radio, internet, email, mail, etc.
Another cause of lack of focus is shifting priorities. What I mean is,
starting on one project or task, then shifting to another project without
completing the first, then shifting to another, and so on.
The world is full of opportunities and sometimes they each look better than
the previous one (Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the
fence). Be disciplined enough that, no matter what, you will finish what you
intended to finish before starting something else.
Now this doesn't mean that you can't have more than one project going at a
time, but make sure you have sufficient time allotted to accomplish each
goal in a specific amount of time and get it done before replacing it with
another project.
"If you chase to rabbits at once, both shall escape" Ancient Proverb
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Shawn Meldrum has spent the last two decades marketing everything from
almonds to landscape lighting. He currently specializes in marketing for
mortgage brokers, loan officers and real estate agents. For free mortgage
marketing articles and much more visit:
http://www.mortgagemarketingtips.com/
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[3] "ARTICLE -- BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT"
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Games are a Reflection of Behavior
By Alicia Smith
You are standing on a small stage yelling, "What's the name of the game?!"
"Win as much as you can!!!" comes roaring back.
"Who's responsible for your score?!"
"I am!!"
The audience is composed of ninety men, all prisoners in a federal maximum
security prison.
One more thing - you're a woman.
For three years, Alicia volunteered every Thursday at FCI (Federal
Correctional Institute) in Bastrop, Texas-
"I used my skills as a corporate trainer to help these men learn to shift
their perspective on themselves and the world."
"Along the way the prisoners taught me as much, perhaps more, than I taught
them."
"In my training business, I use games as a way to break down barriers and
shift perceptions. What I came to realize is that your behavior in a game is
an exaggerated reflection of your behavior in real life."
Games are an opening to behave true to our natures, to react immediately
rather than with a careful response. Depending on the other players, we may
monitor our behavior less in a game than in the real world, but we aren't
acting differently. In a game there are no emotional holds barred.
In a game, we are allowed to be more right brained than logical. After all,
"It's only a game."
Saying something is only a game tends to trivialize its importance.
Precisely because we view it as trivial, and of no importance, we can give
ourselves permission to let our true natures out.
When we floated this idea before a number of colleagues, several of them
told us stories of self-discovery. One woman, a very sweet and kind person
in "real life", was known as "the enforcer" when she played hockey in
school. Another shared that, when she plays a game against total strangers
she becomes "brutal" and highly competitive.
So if our true nature comes out in a game, what can we do with that
information?
Can we transform situations so that we can be true to our nature? Can we
make a game out of real world situations to allow our true nature to
flourish? The obvious example is to view business as a game to be won. This
implies competition and a winner take all the attitude.
Yet Covey and others have told us about creating win-win situations. Is
there such a thing as a win-win game - a game where everyone wins, where no
one loses? Can you devise a game where you can put your competitive streak
toward a larger goal? Can the proverbial pie be made larger? As someone said
to me, to transform from "me winning" to "we winning".
What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can!
Who's responsible for your score? I am!
The game Alicia played with the inmates was called "the handshake game". She
had them pair up by size, height and weight and explained the rules. "We'll
play the game for 45 seconds. You get one point when your hand taps his hip;
he gets one point when his hand taps your hip."
The vast majority of the pairs had a combined score of 0 points. A few pairs
scored in the 10 - 20 point range.
But one pair scored 260 points.
The high scorers had realized that the name of the game and scoring
responsibility did not define a win-lose (or "zero-sum") game. That is, one
person did not win at the expense of the other.
Of course, the entire thing was a set-up. Alicia paired them up by size,
height and weight to set the expectation that it was an evenly matched
contest. She got them chanting to get their excitement up.
And she neglected to tell them that the pair was a team and the team
members'
scores would be combined.
"Deliberately I didn't tell them they were supposed to cooperate with their
partner. I also never told them who the competitors were."
We all know that a "formal" team must cooperate to win. The revelation here
was that by cooperating they could maximize their individual scores.
What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can!
Who's responsible for your score? I am!
The rules say nothing about preventing the other person from getting a high
score. The pair who "got it" quickly settled into a rhythm of "one for you
and one for me". And they could have kept that up for as long as the game
ran. Meanwhile, the other teams were struggling and would have exhausted
themselves long before the winners did. And, when the few teams who did spot
the pair who "got it" there were charges of "cheating" leveled at them. "We
saw what they were doing but thought they were cheating or didn't understand
the rules."
The cooperation - competition confusion is nicely summed up in the concept
called "the prisoners' dilemma". Two people are arrested for a crime and
there is enough evidence to put them both in jail for 1 year.
The police keep them isolated from each other and offer each the same deal:
"If one of you talks and the other does not, the snitch goes free and the
other one gets 3 years. If you both talk, you both get 2 years."
The partners can work together (by staying silent) and both get only a year
in jail. By both defecting from the partnership to work with the police they
will both get 2 years.
A single defector will go free while the one who cooperated gets 3 years.
The dilemma is formed by pitting trust against greed. The temptation of
greed combined with a habit of competition blinds us to a different
perspective.
But don't think that only prisoners are subject to this. When Alicia has had
groups of corporate executives play this game, they fall into the same
behavior pattern as the prisoners. In fact, in some corporate sessions
nobody "gets it".
There seems to be a dichotomy between competing and winning. The idea of
cooperating to win seems odd. In fact, we see other players complain that
the ones who "get it" are cheating!
What you do depends on your view of the game. If the game is seen as a
one-time event, why not be brutal - there will be no consequences. But if
this event is one in a series, then cooperation is clearly the better
long-term strategy, if only because there will be a chance for the other to
get even.
In studies of prisoners' dilemma style games (played for points and not
reduced jail time) the players eventually settle into a strategy dubbed "tit
for tat". Their actions are saying, "If you cooperate last time, I'll
cooperate next time. If you defected last time, I'll defect next time."
Using the word "defect" helps us see the shift - the opposite of cooperating
(working on the same side) is defecting to the other side.
The desire to compete and the desire to win are not the same.
Game terminology (strategies, tactics, moves, etc.) is often applied to
"serious" parts of life. Because the word game has a connotation of
triviality, we sometimes bristle at its use to describe the things that mean
the most to us.
What if we kept in mind that 'it's all a game' - would we behave
differently?
Philosopher James P. Carse writes in the first chapter of Finite and
Infinite Games, "There are at least two kinds of games. One could be called
finite, the other infinite. A finite game is played for the purpose of
winning, and infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play."
The book's subtitle is "A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility." His
premise is that a game is about the relationship between the players.
In the book he characterizes two types of players. Finite players play
within the rules, infinite players play with the rules. Finite players play
to end the game (with their victory), infinite players play to continue the
game (by whatever means they see fit). Finite players play to win, infinite
players play to keep playing.
The players who "get it" are playing with the rules looking to transform a
finite game into an infinite one.
If this article has intrigued you we encourage you to look at the various
"games" that you are "playing" and with whom. Who are your "teammates" and
what kind of game are you playing? With increased awareness of our behavior,
and the behavior of others, we are able to create a "win as much as WE can"
mentality.
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Š Copyright 2004 Alicia Smith Consulting & Training. All Rights Reserved.
This article was written by Alicia Smith as told to John Satta
Alicia Smith is a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping business
people to Make Money Now. She has taught over 10,000 people how to improve
their business bottom lines. To learn more about her courses, products and
services, please visit http://www.AliciaSmith.com
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[4] "ATTITUDE VITAMINS"
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If you experience it, it's the truth. The same thing believed is a lie. --
Werner Erhard
Obviously the truth is what's so. Not so obviously, it's also so what. --
Werner Erhard
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life. --
William Osler
Conquering others requires force. Conquering oneself requires strength. --
Lao Tzu
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -- J.M. Power
If you really want to make the sale, make your pitch, provide the sales
contract, give the decision-maker the pen, and then sit back and shut up! --
Charles Bettger
Just because people have talent, that doesn't mean they have to do something
with it. -- Alice Vonnegut
There are perhaps 5% of the population that simply can't think. There are
another 5% who can think, and do. The remaining 90% can think, but don't. --
Robert Heinlein
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the
intelligent are full of doubt. -- Bertrand Russell
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good,
you'll have to ram them down people's throats. -- Howard Aiken
Concentration is the secret of strength in politics, in war, in trade, in
short in all management of human affairs. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Determine what specific goal you want to achieve. Then dedicate yourself to
its attainment with unswerving singleness of purpose, the trenchant zeal of
a crusader. -- Paul J. Meyer
Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably
requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates
both new wants and the ability to satisfy them. -- Henry Steele Commager
All things grow with time, except grief. -- Yiddish Proverb
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[5] "STRESS BUSTER"
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WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.
They like other people's children.
A grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see
them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they
drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves
and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we
shouldn't step on "cracks".
They don't say, "Hurry up".
Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like "Why isn't God married?" and "How come
dogs chase cats?".
When they read to us, they don't skip parts. They don't mind if we ask for
the same story over and over again.
Everybody should try to have grandparents, especially if you don't have
television, because they are the only grown-ups who like to spend time with
us.
They know we should have snack-time before bedtime, they say prayers with us
every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES
AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE
DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
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A little boy wanted $100 very badly. He prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. So, he decided to write a letter to God requesting $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA", they decided
to send it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. The President thought this
would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill, and sat down to write a
thank-you note to God. The postal authorities forwarded this letter on to
the President, too.
It read:
"Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and those guys
deducted $95 in taxes!"
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Brake Down
My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought
an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down.
One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls.
"What happened this time?" she asked.
"My brakes went out," her sister said. "Can you come to get me?"
"Where are you?" Sherry asked.
"I'm in the drugstore," her sister responded.
"And where's the car?"
"It's in here with me."
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[6] "FEEL GOOD CLASSIC"
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The Rabbi's Gift
This story concerns a monastery that had fallen upon hard times.
Once a great order, as a result of waves of anti-monastic persecution in the
seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and the rise of secularism in the
nineteenth, all its branch houses were lost and it had become decimated to
the extent that there were only five monks left in the decaying mother
house: the abbot and four others, all over seventy in age. Clearly it was a
dying order.
In the deep woods surrounding the monastery there was a little hut
that a rabbi from a nearby town occasionally used for a hermitage. Through
their many years of prayer and contemplation the old monks had become a bit
psychic, so they could always sense when the rabbi was in his hermitage.
"The rabbi is in the woods, the rabbi is in the woods again", they would
whisper to each other. As he agonized over the imminent death of his order,
it occurred to the abbot at one such time to visit the hermitage and ask the
rabbi if by some possible chance he could offer some advice that might save
the monastery.
The rabbi welcomed the abbot at his hut. But when the abbot
explained the purpose of his visit, the rabbi could only commiserate with
him. "I know how it is", he explained. "The spirit has gone out of the
people. It is the same in my town. Almost no one comes to the synagogue
anymore". So the old abbot and the old rabbi wept together. Then they read
parts of the Torah and quietly spoke of deep things. The time came when the
abbot had to leave. They embraced each other. "It has been a wonderful
thing that that we should meet after all these years", the abbot said, "but
I have failed in my purpose for coming here. Is there nothing you can tell
me, no piece of advice you can give me that would help save my dying order?"
"No, I am sorry", the rabbi responded. "I have no advice to give.
The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you".
When the abbot returned to the monastery his fellow monks gathered
around him to ask, "Well, what did the rabbi say?"
"He couldn't help", the abbot answered. "We just wept and read the
Torah together. The only thing he did say, just as I was leaving - it was
something cryptic - was that the Messiah is one of us. I don't know what he
meant".
In the days and weeks and months that followed, the old monks
pondered this and wondered if there was any significance to the rabbi's
words. The Messiah is one of us? Could he have possibly meant one of the
monks in the monastery? If that's the case, which one? Do you suppose he
meant the abbot? Yes, if he meant anyone, he probably meant Father Abbot.
He has been our leader for more than a generation. On the other hand, he
might have meant Brother Thomas. Certainly Brother Thomas is a holy man.
Everyone knows that Thomas is man of light. Certainly he would not have
meant Brother Elred! Elred gets crotchety at times. But come to think of
it, even though he is a thorn in people's sides, when you look back on it,
Elred is virtually always right. Often very right. Maybe the rabbi did
mean Brother Elred. But surely not Brother Phillip. Phillip is so passive,
a real nobody. But then, almost mysteriously, he has a gift for somehow
always being there when you need him. He just magically appears on your
side. Maybe Phillip is the Messiah. Of course the rabbi didn't mean me.
He couldn't possibly have meant me. I'm just an ordinary person. Yet
supposing he did? Supposed I am the Messiah? O God, not me. I couldn't be
that much for You could I?
As they contemplated in this manner, the old monks began to treat
each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that one among them
might be the Messiah. And on the off, off chance that each monk himself
might be the Messiah, they began to treat themselves with extraordinary
respect.
Because the forest in which it was situated was beautiful, it so
happened that people still occasionally come to visit the monastery to
picnic on it's tiny lawn, to wander along some of it's paths even now and
then to go into the dilapidated chapel to meditate. As they did so, without
even being conscious of it, they sensed this aura of extraordinary respect
that now began to surround the five old monks and seemed to radiate out from
them and permeate the atmosphere of the place. There was something
strangely attractive, even compelling about it. Hardly knowing why, they
began to come back to the monastery more frequently to picnic, to play, to
pray. They began to bring their friends and show them the special place.
And their friends brought their friends.
Then it happened that some of the younger men who came to visit the
monastery started to talk more and more with the old monks. After a while
one asked if he could join them. Then another. And another. So within a
few years the monastery had become a thriving order and, thanks to the
rabbi's gift, a vibrant center of light and spirituality in the realm.
- Chassid
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[7] "CHOP SUEY ROJAK"
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Note: If long URL's break, please cut and paste.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Change
Major change is difficult. Unexpected change is even more difficult. In this
paper, I offer some possibilities for navigating change more effectively.
I begin by presenting a model of change, which describes the stages we go
through as we respond to change. Next I look at why each stage happens, why
we respond the way we do, and how we move from one stage to the next. Then I
offer some ideas about how to respond more effectively in each stage.
http://www.dhemery.com/articles/managing_yourself_through_change.html
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The Satir Model of Change
Improvement is always possible. This conviction is the heart of the
transformation system developed by family therapist Virginia Satir. Her
system helps people improve their lives by transforming the way they see and
express themselves.
An element of the Satir System is a five-stage change model (see Figure 1)
that describes the effects each stage has on feelings, thinking,
performance, and physiology. Using the principles embodied in this model,
you can improve how you process change and how you help others process
change.
http://www.stevenmsmith.com/articles/satir_change_model.htm
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The Strategy of the Fighter Pilot
Business is a dogfight. Your job as a leader: Outmaneuver the competition,
respond decisively to fast-changing conditions, and defeat your rivals.
That's why the OODA loop, the brainchild of "40 Second" Boyd, an
unconventional fighter pilot, is one of today's most important ideas in
battle or in business
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/59/pilot.html
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Note again: If long URL's break, please cut and paste.
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[8] "SPONSORS' MESSAGES"
****************************************************
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Privacy Policy: We do not rent or sell your email address. Period.
Compilation Š Copyright 2004 G K Lim, All Rights Reserved
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^^ = end of communication = ^^
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__/= p a r t n e r s =\__
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Dedicated to the personal and professional development of PMEE's --
professionals, managers, executives, and entrepreneurs -- everywhere.
Issue # 101
Seventh year in publication
Since July 1, 1998
Current number of subscribers: 2,102
****************************************
"IN THIS ISSUE"
****************************************
[1] Editor's Corner
[2] Article For Your Personal Development: "Time Management: How To Get
More Done"
[3] Article For Your Business Development: "Games are a Reflection of
Behavior"
[4] Attitude Vitamins
[5] Stress Buster
[6] Feel Good Classic: "The Rabbi's Gift"
[7] Chop Suey Rojak
[8] Sponsors' Messages
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[1] "EDITOR'S CORNER"
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Hi,
It's that time of the year again -- what a cliché!
Anyway, yep, it's vacation time for most people.
We'll be packing our bags too. Hurray! For that annual pilgrimage to our
village, to visit our folks, and other folks who never left (wonder why they
never left the village for the cities), to pamper ourselves with food we
don't normally get in the cities. Time to put on shorts and T-shirts, pull
out that old motorcycle or bicycle, and move around the wonderful
countryside. Time to enjoy the beautiful sceneries of our childhood. Time
to visit that old grocer who sold us sweets and popcorn when we were kids.
Time to savor the smell, the sounds, the colors. Of course the notebook
follows us. How could you ever leave your notebook behind? Oh, no, that
would be disastrous, not with 100 over emails flooding our browsers each
day. Sigh.
Before we go off for our holidays, here's Issue 101 of "Partners." Lovingly
put together, and mailed to you.
We have an article on time management, and another on negotiation skills.
And our Feel Good article is worth a read.
Well, enjoy issue # 101!
And Seasons Greetings
Cheers!
G K Lim < www.gklim.com >
Editor / Publisher
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[2] "ARTICLE -- PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT"
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Time Management: How To Get More Done
By Shawn Meldrum
If you can regularly ask yourself "Am I regularly and consistently working
on those items that will move me towards my clearly defined goals?" and
honestly answer "Yes" then you are probably doing ok.
If not, here are a few time wasters to be aware of and some strategies for
protecting your time (priorities).
MAIL: Don't waste your time on junk mail (unless you are specifically
looking for good marketing ideas to borrow) - if possible get someone else
to go through your mail and sort out the junk and take care of the routine
items.
If you do want to save the junk mail have it placed in a box or file that
you can go through when you are brainstorming for new ideas. (This is
commonly called a "Swipe File" by most writers - a resource to generate good
ideas that you can swipe and adapt to your own use.)
MEETINGS: Scheduled and unscheduled meetings can be a terrible waste of
time. Don't allow people to just drop in on you without an appointment and a
purpose. Avoid any scheduled meetings that you possibly can.
If you are in charge of a meeting - make sure you have a plan for keeping it
short and focused. If you have to attend a meeting and you are not in
charge - have a plan for escaping once you are done with your portion (such
as a phone call or appointment at a pre-arranged time).
Also, stop meeting people at restaurants, etc. They will invariably keep you
waiting. Instead have them meet you at your office. That way, if they are
late, you can continue to be productive. If you must meet them outside of
the office, take something with you to read or work on while you are
waiting.
DOWN TIME: Meaning time that you spend waiting, traveling, sick, etc.
Always have something to do, or to listen to, or to read. Ask yourself "What
is stackable?" In other words, what tasks can I combine and do at the same
time, such as listening to training tapes while commuting.
LACK OF PLANNING: There is an old saying that I often repeat to myself:
"Having lost sight of our objective, we re-doubled our efforts". In other
words, not knowing where we were going we got there twice as fast.
Take a little time each day to focus on your tasks at hand and make sure
they are leading you towards your goals. If they are not, then eliminate
them all together or delegate them if necessary.
Then chart out the day in such a way that maximizes your available time.
Combine activities where possible and block out portions of the day to
accomplish the most important tasks. Then keep your appointments with
yourself as strictly as you would with your most important client.
INTERRUPTIONS: The greatest productivity usually comes from being able to
focus on a project for an extended period of time without interruption.
Interruptions not only waste the time of the interruption itself but also
the time to refocus your concentration on the task at hand.
Do whatever you can to avoid interruptions. If possible, have someone else
answer the phone and then return calls at a designated time for calls. Train
your clients, etc. to call during that time.
Become inaccessible to those that regularly steal your time by dropping in
or calling to shoot the breeze. Hide if you have too. When I worked for a
real estate company many years ago I specifically asked for the office that
was hidden away down in the basement. It had it's own outside entrance so I
could come and go without the other agents knowing I was there, eliminating
all those unnecessary little interruptions.
If you can't hide, be busy and be obvious about it so others are less apt to
interrupt.
DISORGANIZATION: "A place for everything, and everything in its place" is
good advice. Few things waste more time than having to hunt for something
every time you need it. Keep a clean desk, work on one thing at a time and
put it away when you're done. (Sorry if I sound like your mother)
PAPERWORK: This can be a great time waster. If you have stacks of paper and
files all over your desk or office do yourself a favor and go buy a filing
cabinet and some file folders. Set up drawers for specific types of files,
etc.
Have a place for every type of file or paperwork. Go through everything in
your office and either file it or throw it away. Buy dividers or organizers
or whatever is necessary to systematize the flow of paperwork through your
office.
LACK OF FOCUS: Anything that keeps you from focusing on your priorities
during those times you have chosen to be productive must be eliminated. That
means TV, radio, internet, email, mail, etc.
Another cause of lack of focus is shifting priorities. What I mean is,
starting on one project or task, then shifting to another project without
completing the first, then shifting to another, and so on.
The world is full of opportunities and sometimes they each look better than
the previous one (Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the
fence). Be disciplined enough that, no matter what, you will finish what you
intended to finish before starting something else.
Now this doesn't mean that you can't have more than one project going at a
time, but make sure you have sufficient time allotted to accomplish each
goal in a specific amount of time and get it done before replacing it with
another project.
"If you chase to rabbits at once, both shall escape" Ancient Proverb
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Shawn Meldrum has spent the last two decades marketing everything from
almonds to landscape lighting. He currently specializes in marketing for
mortgage brokers, loan officers and real estate agents. For free mortgage
marketing articles and much more visit:
http://www.mortgagemarketingtips.com/
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[3] "ARTICLE -- BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT"
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Games are a Reflection of Behavior
By Alicia Smith
You are standing on a small stage yelling, "What's the name of the game?!"
"Win as much as you can!!!" comes roaring back.
"Who's responsible for your score?!"
"I am!!"
The audience is composed of ninety men, all prisoners in a federal maximum
security prison.
One more thing - you're a woman.
For three years, Alicia volunteered every Thursday at FCI (Federal
Correctional Institute) in Bastrop, Texas-
"I used my skills as a corporate trainer to help these men learn to shift
their perspective on themselves and the world."
"Along the way the prisoners taught me as much, perhaps more, than I taught
them."
"In my training business, I use games as a way to break down barriers and
shift perceptions. What I came to realize is that your behavior in a game is
an exaggerated reflection of your behavior in real life."
Games are an opening to behave true to our natures, to react immediately
rather than with a careful response. Depending on the other players, we may
monitor our behavior less in a game than in the real world, but we aren't
acting differently. In a game there are no emotional holds barred.
In a game, we are allowed to be more right brained than logical. After all,
"It's only a game."
Saying something is only a game tends to trivialize its importance.
Precisely because we view it as trivial, and of no importance, we can give
ourselves permission to let our true natures out.
When we floated this idea before a number of colleagues, several of them
told us stories of self-discovery. One woman, a very sweet and kind person
in "real life", was known as "the enforcer" when she played hockey in
school. Another shared that, when she plays a game against total strangers
she becomes "brutal" and highly competitive.
So if our true nature comes out in a game, what can we do with that
information?
Can we transform situations so that we can be true to our nature? Can we
make a game out of real world situations to allow our true nature to
flourish? The obvious example is to view business as a game to be won. This
implies competition and a winner take all the attitude.
Yet Covey and others have told us about creating win-win situations. Is
there such a thing as a win-win game - a game where everyone wins, where no
one loses? Can you devise a game where you can put your competitive streak
toward a larger goal? Can the proverbial pie be made larger? As someone said
to me, to transform from "me winning" to "we winning".
What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can!
Who's responsible for your score? I am!
The game Alicia played with the inmates was called "the handshake game". She
had them pair up by size, height and weight and explained the rules. "We'll
play the game for 45 seconds. You get one point when your hand taps his hip;
he gets one point when his hand taps your hip."
The vast majority of the pairs had a combined score of 0 points. A few pairs
scored in the 10 - 20 point range.
But one pair scored 260 points.
The high scorers had realized that the name of the game and scoring
responsibility did not define a win-lose (or "zero-sum") game. That is, one
person did not win at the expense of the other.
Of course, the entire thing was a set-up. Alicia paired them up by size,
height and weight to set the expectation that it was an evenly matched
contest. She got them chanting to get their excitement up.
And she neglected to tell them that the pair was a team and the team
members'
scores would be combined.
"Deliberately I didn't tell them they were supposed to cooperate with their
partner. I also never told them who the competitors were."
We all know that a "formal" team must cooperate to win. The revelation here
was that by cooperating they could maximize their individual scores.
What's the name of the game? Win as much as you can!
Who's responsible for your score? I am!
The rules say nothing about preventing the other person from getting a high
score. The pair who "got it" quickly settled into a rhythm of "one for you
and one for me". And they could have kept that up for as long as the game
ran. Meanwhile, the other teams were struggling and would have exhausted
themselves long before the winners did. And, when the few teams who did spot
the pair who "got it" there were charges of "cheating" leveled at them. "We
saw what they were doing but thought they were cheating or didn't understand
the rules."
The cooperation - competition confusion is nicely summed up in the concept
called "the prisoners' dilemma". Two people are arrested for a crime and
there is enough evidence to put them both in jail for 1 year.
The police keep them isolated from each other and offer each the same deal:
"If one of you talks and the other does not, the snitch goes free and the
other one gets 3 years. If you both talk, you both get 2 years."
The partners can work together (by staying silent) and both get only a year
in jail. By both defecting from the partnership to work with the police they
will both get 2 years.
A single defector will go free while the one who cooperated gets 3 years.
The dilemma is formed by pitting trust against greed. The temptation of
greed combined with a habit of competition blinds us to a different
perspective.
But don't think that only prisoners are subject to this. When Alicia has had
groups of corporate executives play this game, they fall into the same
behavior pattern as the prisoners. In fact, in some corporate sessions
nobody "gets it".
There seems to be a dichotomy between competing and winning. The idea of
cooperating to win seems odd. In fact, we see other players complain that
the ones who "get it" are cheating!
What you do depends on your view of the game. If the game is seen as a
one-time event, why not be brutal - there will be no consequences. But if
this event is one in a series, then cooperation is clearly the better
long-term strategy, if only because there will be a chance for the other to
get even.
In studies of prisoners' dilemma style games (played for points and not
reduced jail time) the players eventually settle into a strategy dubbed "tit
for tat". Their actions are saying, "If you cooperate last time, I'll
cooperate next time. If you defected last time, I'll defect next time."
Using the word "defect" helps us see the shift - the opposite of cooperating
(working on the same side) is defecting to the other side.
The desire to compete and the desire to win are not the same.
Game terminology (strategies, tactics, moves, etc.) is often applied to
"serious" parts of life. Because the word game has a connotation of
triviality, we sometimes bristle at its use to describe the things that mean
the most to us.
What if we kept in mind that 'it's all a game' - would we behave
differently?
Philosopher James P. Carse writes in the first chapter of Finite and
Infinite Games, "There are at least two kinds of games. One could be called
finite, the other infinite. A finite game is played for the purpose of
winning, and infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play."
The book's subtitle is "A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility." His
premise is that a game is about the relationship between the players.
In the book he characterizes two types of players. Finite players play
within the rules, infinite players play with the rules. Finite players play
to end the game (with their victory), infinite players play to continue the
game (by whatever means they see fit). Finite players play to win, infinite
players play to keep playing.
The players who "get it" are playing with the rules looking to transform a
finite game into an infinite one.
If this article has intrigued you we encourage you to look at the various
"games" that you are "playing" and with whom. Who are your "teammates" and
what kind of game are you playing? With increased awareness of our behavior,
and the behavior of others, we are able to create a "win as much as WE can"
mentality.
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Š Copyright 2004 Alicia Smith Consulting & Training. All Rights Reserved.
This article was written by Alicia Smith as told to John Satta
Alicia Smith is a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping business
people to Make Money Now. She has taught over 10,000 people how to improve
their business bottom lines. To learn more about her courses, products and
services, please visit http://www.AliciaSmith.com
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[4] "ATTITUDE VITAMINS"
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If you experience it, it's the truth. The same thing believed is a lie. --
Werner Erhard
Obviously the truth is what's so. Not so obviously, it's also so what. --
Werner Erhard
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life. --
William Osler
Conquering others requires force. Conquering oneself requires strength. --
Lao Tzu
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. -- J.M. Power
If you really want to make the sale, make your pitch, provide the sales
contract, give the decision-maker the pen, and then sit back and shut up! --
Charles Bettger
Just because people have talent, that doesn't mean they have to do something
with it. -- Alice Vonnegut
There are perhaps 5% of the population that simply can't think. There are
another 5% who can think, and do. The remaining 90% can think, but don't. --
Robert Heinlein
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the
intelligent are full of doubt. -- Bertrand Russell
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good,
you'll have to ram them down people's throats. -- Howard Aiken
Concentration is the secret of strength in politics, in war, in trade, in
short in all management of human affairs. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Determine what specific goal you want to achieve. Then dedicate yourself to
its attainment with unswerving singleness of purpose, the trenchant zeal of
a crusader. -- Paul J. Meyer
Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably
requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates
both new wants and the ability to satisfy them. -- Henry Steele Commager
All things grow with time, except grief. -- Yiddish Proverb
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[5] "STRESS BUSTER"
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WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own.
They like other people's children.
A grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see
them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they
drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves
and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also why we
shouldn't step on "cracks".
They don't say, "Hurry up".
Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like "Why isn't God married?" and "How come
dogs chase cats?".
When they read to us, they don't skip parts. They don't mind if we ask for
the same story over and over again.
Everybody should try to have grandparents, especially if you don't have
television, because they are the only grown-ups who like to spend time with
us.
They know we should have snack-time before bedtime, they say prayers with us
every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES
AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE
DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
----------------------------------------------
A little boy wanted $100 very badly. He prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. So, he decided to write a letter to God requesting $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA", they decided
to send it to the President. The President was so amused that he instructed
his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. The President thought this
would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill, and sat down to write a
thank-you note to God. The postal authorities forwarded this letter on to
the President, too.
It read:
"Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and those guys
deducted $95 in taxes!"
----------------------------------------------
Brake Down
My boss' wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought
an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down.
One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls.
"What happened this time?" she asked.
"My brakes went out," her sister said. "Can you come to get me?"
"Where are you?" Sherry asked.
"I'm in the drugstore," her sister responded.
"And where's the car?"
"It's in here with me."
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[6] "FEEL GOOD CLASSIC"
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The Rabbi's Gift
This story concerns a monastery that had fallen upon hard times.
Once a great order, as a result of waves of anti-monastic persecution in the
seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and the rise of secularism in the
nineteenth, all its branch houses were lost and it had become decimated to
the extent that there were only five monks left in the decaying mother
house: the abbot and four others, all over seventy in age. Clearly it was a
dying order.
In the deep woods surrounding the monastery there was a little hut
that a rabbi from a nearby town occasionally used for a hermitage. Through
their many years of prayer and contemplation the old monks had become a bit
psychic, so they could always sense when the rabbi was in his hermitage.
"The rabbi is in the woods, the rabbi is in the woods again", they would
whisper to each other. As he agonized over the imminent death of his order,
it occurred to the abbot at one such time to visit the hermitage and ask the
rabbi if by some possible chance he could offer some advice that might save
the monastery.
The rabbi welcomed the abbot at his hut. But when the abbot
explained the purpose of his visit, the rabbi could only commiserate with
him. "I know how it is", he explained. "The spirit has gone out of the
people. It is the same in my town. Almost no one comes to the synagogue
anymore". So the old abbot and the old rabbi wept together. Then they read
parts of the Torah and quietly spoke of deep things. The time came when the
abbot had to leave. They embraced each other. "It has been a wonderful
thing that that we should meet after all these years", the abbot said, "but
I have failed in my purpose for coming here. Is there nothing you can tell
me, no piece of advice you can give me that would help save my dying order?"
"No, I am sorry", the rabbi responded. "I have no advice to give.
The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you".
When the abbot returned to the monastery his fellow monks gathered
around him to ask, "Well, what did the rabbi say?"
"He couldn't help", the abbot answered. "We just wept and read the
Torah together. The only thing he did say, just as I was leaving - it was
something cryptic - was that the Messiah is one of us. I don't know what he
meant".
In the days and weeks and months that followed, the old monks
pondered this and wondered if there was any significance to the rabbi's
words. The Messiah is one of us? Could he have possibly meant one of the
monks in the monastery? If that's the case, which one? Do you suppose he
meant the abbot? Yes, if he meant anyone, he probably meant Father Abbot.
He has been our leader for more than a generation. On the other hand, he
might have meant Brother Thomas. Certainly Brother Thomas is a holy man.
Everyone knows that Thomas is man of light. Certainly he would not have
meant Brother Elred! Elred gets crotchety at times. But come to think of
it, even though he is a thorn in people's sides, when you look back on it,
Elred is virtually always right. Often very right. Maybe the rabbi did
mean Brother Elred. But surely not Brother Phillip. Phillip is so passive,
a real nobody. But then, almost mysteriously, he has a gift for somehow
always being there when you need him. He just magically appears on your
side. Maybe Phillip is the Messiah. Of course the rabbi didn't mean me.
He couldn't possibly have meant me. I'm just an ordinary person. Yet
supposing he did? Supposed I am the Messiah? O God, not me. I couldn't be
that much for You could I?
As they contemplated in this manner, the old monks began to treat
each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that one among them
might be the Messiah. And on the off, off chance that each monk himself
might be the Messiah, they began to treat themselves with extraordinary
respect.
Because the forest in which it was situated was beautiful, it so
happened that people still occasionally come to visit the monastery to
picnic on it's tiny lawn, to wander along some of it's paths even now and
then to go into the dilapidated chapel to meditate. As they did so, without
even being conscious of it, they sensed this aura of extraordinary respect
that now began to surround the five old monks and seemed to radiate out from
them and permeate the atmosphere of the place. There was something
strangely attractive, even compelling about it. Hardly knowing why, they
began to come back to the monastery more frequently to picnic, to play, to
pray. They began to bring their friends and show them the special place.
And their friends brought their friends.
Then it happened that some of the younger men who came to visit the
monastery started to talk more and more with the old monks. After a while
one asked if he could join them. Then another. And another. So within a
few years the monastery had become a thriving order and, thanks to the
rabbi's gift, a vibrant center of light and spirituality in the realm.
- Chassid
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[7] "CHOP SUEY ROJAK"
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Note: If long URL's break, please cut and paste.
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Change
Major change is difficult. Unexpected change is even more difficult. In this
paper, I offer some possibilities for navigating change more effectively.
I begin by presenting a model of change, which describes the stages we go
through as we respond to change. Next I look at why each stage happens, why
we respond the way we do, and how we move from one stage to the next. Then I
offer some ideas about how to respond more effectively in each stage.
http://www.dhemery.com/articles/managing_yourself_through_change.html
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The Satir Model of Change
Improvement is always possible. This conviction is the heart of the
transformation system developed by family therapist Virginia Satir. Her
system helps people improve their lives by transforming the way they see and
express themselves.
An element of the Satir System is a five-stage change model (see Figure 1)
that describes the effects each stage has on feelings, thinking,
performance, and physiology. Using the principles embodied in this model,
you can improve how you process change and how you help others process
change.
http://www.stevenmsmith.com/articles/satir_change_model.htm
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The Strategy of the Fighter Pilot
Business is a dogfight. Your job as a leader: Outmaneuver the competition,
respond decisively to fast-changing conditions, and defeat your rivals.
That's why the OODA loop, the brainchild of "40 Second" Boyd, an
unconventional fighter pilot, is one of today's most important ideas in
battle or in business
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/59/pilot.html
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Note again: If long URL's break, please cut and paste.
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[8] "SPONSORS' MESSAGES"
****************************************************
Training Classes is a free online directory of training providers, courses
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for one or more major accounts. It can also be helpful to any salesperson
who wishes to become more professional. Available in-house. For details,
please write to gklimd...@cscms.com or ke...@gklim.com
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practical and competitively priced downloadable training content. Over 50
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