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Mohan K.V

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Oct 18, 2009, 2:14:31 AM10/18/09
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I was googling the joke from Anbe Sivam, and bumped into this most exhausti(ng|ve) wiki userpage with examples from many languages.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Benjamin_Mako_Hill/List_of_homophonous_phrases

Canonical classics like (Buffalo)^n and (Fish)^2n are of course included.

Nirmal Raj

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Oct 18, 2009, 2:24:58 AM10/18/09
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'Nose Knows No Snows'

I guess one can stretch that to "No's nose knows no snows", the No in question being James Bond's first adversary on celluloid.



2009/10/17 Mohan K.V <kvm....@gmail.com>

Abhishek Upadhya

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Oct 18, 2009, 2:41:25 AM10/18/09
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I'm in the mood for kannada puns. So, me punn-a-da...

emmy Yemme's M.A   [ A emmy winning buffalo's degree]

trikoNa KoNa [ Triangular Buffaloes ]
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Mohan K.V

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Oct 18, 2009, 9:52:00 PM10/18/09
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And there's the old story of the shopkeeper. A policeman is chasing a thief, and asks the shopkeeper "Avanelli hoda?". At exactly the same moment, a boy comes by and asks "Uncle ee burfi-ge eshtu?". He answers both with one word: "naakaNe".

I remember there were more in this series, but can't recall what exactly..

Abhishek Upadhya

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Oct 19, 2009, 2:01:35 AM10/19/09
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awesome. yeah. I remember one.

1. A man sees a strange Rajasthani Animal, and asks the Hotelier what it is.
At exactly the same moment ( which was an underlying assumption in all of these wisecracks),
a boy comes by and puts an order.
The hotelier shouts out the same " One-Tea" . [ Onte = camel, alternate dharwad pronunciation One-tee]
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Abhishek Upadhya

Mohan K.V

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Oct 19, 2009, 3:30:40 AM10/19/09
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Ah yes yes yes! Very nice that you remembered!

In the version I heard, instead of the camel it is again our old policeman who comes and asks "Ey, illi obba pant haakkondu odtidnalla, avanu obbane iddane ilva avan jyote yaaradaru iddara?" ("That guy who just passed, was he alone or was there anyone with him?")

Btw for the previous one, sorry for not translating. naakANe is either naaku + aane ('four annas') or naa kaane ('I don't know/I don't see')

Shreevatsa R

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Oct 19, 2009, 7:20:58 PM10/19/09
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2009/10/18 Mohan K.V <kvm....@gmail.com>:

> And there's the old story of the shopkeeper. A policeman is chasing a thief,
> and asks the shopkeeper "Avanelli hoda?". At exactly the same moment, a boy
> comes by and asks "Uncle ee burfi-ge eshtu?". He answers both with one word:
> "naakaNe".
>
> I remember there were more in this series, but can't recall what exactly..

Yes, I remember one too :p

One morning, the son asks "Amma, how come you're still at home today?"
From the kitchen, the daughter* asks "Amma, ole mele en idli?" (What
should I put on [the stove]?)
The mother replies: "Haaliday".

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[*sexist? The grammar demands it :p]

Mohan K.V

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Nov 29, 2009, 9:03:43 PM11/29/09
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I learnt some words in this list just today (try listing some before looking at the answer): http://www.futilitycloset.com/2009/11/28/formal-speech/ 

Based on one of them:

So Margaret the devout Christian tailoress is working at her shop in Chitradurga. Her son comes to her and asks, "Amma, what is the name of the guy in the Bible whose story is surprisingly similar to Harischandra's, whose devotion to God is tested by Satan by inflicting a lot of suffering?". At the same time, one of her assistants comes up to her and asks, "Madam, I am done stitching the shirt, but have this small piece of cloth left. What should I make with it?" 

To which she answers, "Job".

('Jobu' or 'Jebu' in Kannada means 'pocket'; the Book of Job) 

Abhishek Upadhya

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Nov 29, 2009, 9:38:26 PM11/29/09
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Margaret had a mallu accent? :P

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Abhishek Upadhya

priya venkateshan

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Nov 29, 2009, 9:39:12 PM11/29/09
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it can also be 'who was the founder of calcutta?'

Mohan K.V

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Nov 29, 2009, 9:43:45 PM11/29/09
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Margaret had a mallu accent? :P

I actually intended the names as a hat-tip to Nagarahavu :-) But yeah, I had previously thought that 'Job' being pronounced as 'Joab' was a mainly mallu manifestation, but apparently not.  

Mohan K.V

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Nov 29, 2009, 10:26:04 PM11/29/09
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Another one. 

So the drunkard Sanskrit teacher (all those who thought of Bhairavi Venkatasubbaiah at this point say Aye!) is lolling around, when a student comes and asks him, "Master, what is the root of enjoyment?". To which he smirks and replies, 'Rum'. 

(The root (dhatu) of 'enjoyment' in Sanskrit is 'ram', pronounced 'rum'. It is from there that you get 'Rama', 'the causer of enjoyment'.)

:-)

Abhishek Upadhya

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Nov 29, 2009, 10:32:11 PM11/29/09
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This was no ordinary drunk sanskrit teacher.
this was the Old Monk himself.

Also, some people might say dope = manorama.


[ must stop mallu jokes]

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Abhishek Upadhya

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Nov 29, 2009, 11:04:25 PM11/29/09
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The anger of a shady lady - vamp-ire. Also, a tambram
side-actress - vamp iyer

On 11/30/09, Abhishek Upadhya <abhishe...@gmail.com> wrote:
> This was no ordinary drunk sanskrit teacher.
> this was the Old
> Monk<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohan_Meakin_Brewery#Rum>himself.
>
> Also, some people might say dope = manorama.
>
>
> [ must stop mallu jokes]
>
> On Mon, Nov 30, 2009 at 8:56 AM, Mohan K.V <kvm....@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Another one.
>>
>> So the drunkard Sanskrit teacher (all those who thought of Bhairavi
>> Venkatasubbaiah at this point say Aye!) is lolling around, when a student
>> comes and asks him, "Master, what is the root of enjoyment?". To which he
>> smirks and replies, 'Rum'.
>>
>> (The root (dhatu) of 'enjoyment' in Sanskrit is 'ram', pronounced 'rum'.
>> It
>> is from there that you get 'Rama', 'the causer of enjoyment'.)
>>
>> :-)
>>
>> --
>> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
>> "pun-ctilious" group.
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>> To unsubscribe from this group, send email to
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>> http://groups.google.com/group/paronomasia?hl=en.
>>
>
>
>
> --
> Regards,
> Abhishek Upadhya
>


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priya venkateshan

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Nov 29, 2009, 11:06:33 PM11/29/09
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sometimes the dead who are being cremated start to wake up, or seem to. folks hit the waking corpse with a stout stick..... wham-pyre.

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Abhishek Upadhya

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Nov 29, 2009, 11:12:56 PM11/29/09
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A native american civil engineer builds wam-piers
>> <paronomasia%2Bunsu...@googlegroups.com<paronomasia%252Buns...@googlegroups.com>
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Mahesh Mahadevan

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Nov 29, 2009, 11:16:27 PM11/29/09
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When Vamp Iyer made the hit finally, she was a Brahm Stoker. ('stoke'
meaning to stir/excite)

On Sun, Nov 29, 2009 at 8:12 PM, Abhishek Upadhya

Abhishek Upadhya

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Nov 29, 2009, 11:20:19 PM11/29/09
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Ok, sucky jokes. Potential to turn bloody soon. Ah,we stupid clots

Mohan K.V

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Dec 18, 2009, 2:21:14 PM12/18/09
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Our chap finds a job in a Chennai newspaper as a hi-flying editor, the kind so busy that they can only be filmed with walk-and-talk shots. It's a big news day, with lots of stuff happening in the local drama and finance sectors. The sub-editor for the entertainment section walks up to him from the left, and asks, "Sir, there's a new play about Krishna leela, featuring many Carnatic songs on the topic. I've written a review, what should we title it?". Simultaneously from the right comes the Finance news sub-editor and says, "Sir, Sir! Big news! TVS co. has been found to have been laundering obscene amounts of black money!! I've written the article, please suggest a wry title that also appeals to the 'cultured tam-brahm' stereotype."

The editor thinks for a moment and answers both of them, "Krishnam kalaya sakhi Sundaram!" :-) (Link; the BMK version is better)

(kalaya = 'think of' or 'see' or 'notice'. It can either be read as "See the handsome Krishna!" or "See the Black Sundaram!")


Mahesh Mahadevan

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Dec 18, 2009, 2:34:45 PM12/18/09
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Ah, now that the Carnatic music flavor has been infused, here's my
take. Back in the days when the pancharatna kritis were composed,
Tyagaraja had a secret admirer. However, the king of Thanjavur (the
very state where Tyagaraja lived and gained prominence) was a Tamil
fanatic, and debased all of Tyagaraja's kritis (which were in Telugu)
as verbal diarrhea. Yet, being intrigued by his musical genius, the
king decided to pay him a visit. Tyagaraja was waiting for such an
opportunity, and boy, did he have the perfect cure with a kriti - as
the king came in, he sang, Entero-Mahanubhavulu.

Abhishek Upadhya

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Dec 18, 2009, 2:42:47 PM12/18/09
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Nice one. That Krishna - black conversion has been put into good use many a time.


Also, a classic sanskrit Double - meaning shloka  . And by double-meaning, I mean something which has more than one meaning. :)


keshavam pathitham drishtvaa
paandavaa harshamaayuyuh /
ruruduH kauravaassarve
haa haa keshava keshava //

Literal translation:

Seeing Krishna falling,
Pandavas are totally ROTFL.
Kauravas are cho sad :(
saying Oh krishna, Oh Krishna.

Which obviously makes no sense whatsoever.

So, the cryptic meaning.


ke = in water
shavam = dead body
patitham drishtvaa = seeing falling
paandavaaH = whites = white cranes
harshamaayuyuh or harshanirbharaaH = were happy. (because they can get the body)
ruruduh = cried
kauravaaH = those with wicked voices = (crows / ugly birds
sarve = all
ha ha keshava keshava = dead body in water, dead body in water.
(because they cannot reach the body in water)


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Abhishek Upadhya

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Mar 7, 2010, 8:10:15 AM3/7/10
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Slightly old joke. ( by about half a day. *shudder* )

A multilingual pun.

" Muttered he, that a park full of peas, must be called a bataani kaal garden... " 

Maybe I love this topic.

Here's one more old one of mine.

"Genetics used to be a very violent subject before Reverend Gregor Mendel made peas with it."

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Mohan K.V

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Oct 3, 2010, 9:02:04 AM10/3/10
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Guess what, our editor is back. Similar scene: educational writer from the left walks up and says "Sir, I've just finished writing the article on proofs that work by assuming the contrary, and leading to an impossible conclusion. It's for a student audience, what should I name it?". From the right comes the page 3 subeditor, and says "Sir, Kareena Kapoor is now down to 40 kgs for her special role! The trend has even rocked the south, with Namitha breaching the quintal mark for the first time! What should we write about this trend?" 

Our chap quips, Reductio ad absurdum :P
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