I am the Boyfriend

[Rusty Rhino]

Hello, I hope that i might get some incite from this group. I am
living with my Girlfriend we have been together for nearly 2 years. I
am frustrated that the kids don't pickup after themselves.The kids are
10 b&g (twins) 13 b Where they are done with something there it will
remain until mom or me will pick it up. I have made it understood to
my GF that this behavior is making me get upset. I have repeatedly
asked her to help to stop this. i get answers like i have cleaned for
them and for other kids for 20 years it is natural for me. Or i am not
a neat freak and i don't care about a little clutter around the house.
I am to the point where i think that i am not important to her and
that my ideas and my difficulties don't matter to her at all. she
loves me this she says to me and i know she does. but this non caring
about my feelings and the way her kids do this to her is getting under
my skin. Am i asking to much to pick-up after myself and to expect
others in the house to do the same?
GRRRRRRRR
Rusty

[BryanG]

Well first off you are not dad your are in these kids you are just
"The guy who is doing mom." Sorry to put it that bluntly, and they are
not going to verbalize it that way, but that is how they are currently
viewing you. You are not in any position to excerpt any authority. Now
to change that, I would move out of the house because you not showing
these kids mom any respect, nor are you showing the boys how to treat
a woman. You are being her shack up stud. Your responsibilities stop
there. IF you want to mean more to these kids I would marry this
girlfriend first thing. Dont need a big ceremony go to the Justice of
the Peace and get it done. Then after that you will have a little more
authority but you will never have disciplinarian abilities be cause
you are then just step dad, but you will then have the ability to have
your new wife to enforce the rules.

Before you do that, I would talk to her and Find out what her view of
sex, finaces, kids, house cleaning, and the best person to talk to
would be a marriage councilor they know what marriage pitfalls you
will need to discuss. IF you dont you will be destined to go through a
divorce. Hooking up with a woman with kids has a higher level of
divorce than first time marriages so the chips are stacked against
you. Sorry again for the harsh words but this has been shown time and
time again to cause problems when Stud muffin tries to enforce rules
cause mom will take the kids side everytime.