What is authenticity?

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Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 10, 2009, 9:13:29 AM12/10/09
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The week before last I saw the doctor. She was recommended to me as
the doctor with the deep knowledge of brain diseases that healed a
person with MS and can help me. So I went. There I found a lady who
did not strike me as trustworthy. I don't doubt the person who
recommended this doctor (after all that girl has MS too and talks my
lingo), but the doctor herself did not have the attitude of a
thoughtful practitioner (here read the word "thoughtful" not as
somebody who cares, but somebody who thinks). I could go in depth
describing the appointment. I'll just mention that when I asked her
what her success rate is, she said 100% success.

Here is my question though. When the appointment ended and all was
done I just realized that I don't want to leave her my MRI CDs as I
doubt that I'd be coming back, but...

I DID NOT TELL HER that I don't trust her right to her face. In a way
I took an easy way out thinking "Who knows? Maybe I am overreacting?"

Does this qualify as inauthenticity?

Thank you guys.

Zhenya The Explorer

Larry

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Dec 10, 2009, 10:32:01 AM12/10/09
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First of all there is no reason Zhenya you could not keep your mri cd/s etc,
simply make a copy for other resources you choose to explore.

Inauthenticity? To me it was a reflection of not trusting, feeling
comfortable questioning her further. When she said 100% Did you ask for
anything to back up that claim? If not, why not? What were you 'afraid'
would happen, or would it mean, (in your make-up of who you are
about)......... in simply exploring your 'options,' and asking for proof
that anyone ought to, because you want to believe, and to trust her, and
you're only asking for help with that?

BW
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Louis Rosenbaum

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Dec 10, 2009, 11:51:57 AM12/10/09
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YES .....

with love Louis

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:13 AM
Subject: [Option Circle] What is authenticity?


Louis Rosenbaum

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Dec 10, 2009, 11:53:32 AM12/10/09
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She also might have found it useful to get feedback on her impact and how
you were (choosing) to receive her.....

if 10 people tell you, you are drunk...maybe you are .....

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:13 AM
Subject: [Option Circle] What is authenticity?


Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 10, 2009, 2:23:58 PM12/10/09
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Thank you guys. I was more interested in knowing whether my not
sharing was a sign of "lying". That said I did want to think it
through.

My evidence FOR my evaluation of this doctor as not helpful:
- Her strategy: Alkaline diet (period).
=> I now know that it's grossly insufficient. It can work for some
though.

- Homeopathy: When I shared that I went this road several times, she
said "she has good Italian remedies and all doctors are different
=> Wheras I don't object to homeopathy as a treatment, I didn't find
that argument compelling

- When I asked for the contact of the people with Alzheimer's,
Parkinson's, Multiple Sclerosi, etc that she healed with a 100%
efficacy, she said that would be if they agree
=> Completely understandable. However, no cigar. And making a copy of
CDs is not an issue. Paying at a rate of $120 / hour for something I
don't trust is :o)

- She shared her success with the girl that referred me, but said she
was diagnosed around the same time as me
=> Girl was diagnosed last yesr (2008). I was diagnosed in 2001

- At the end of the appointment, she checked my eyes. Then she checked
the iridology eye chart and "confirmed" that I have Candida virus and
this is one of the reasons I hve MS.
=> I don't have evidence against it :o)

- At the end of the appointment she brought our the Homeopathical
remedy to give to me.
=> I did not imply I want to start her treatment and I rejected it.

- Finally doctor charged me $180 for what I thought would be $120 (as
agreed)
=> It is true we spent 1.5 hours instead of one, but had I known that
the timer is on I would have stopped sooner. Then again, it's not a
bad cost opf the lesson.

Bottom line is I am happy. I just want to know wheather this situation
constitutes the case when authentic people spesk up. I don't have any
problems sending her the follow-up. I just don't see any calue in it.

Love,

Zhenya The Explorer

Louis Rosenbaum

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Dec 10, 2009, 3:06:47 PM12/10/09
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Bears definition of authencity is sharing what you are thinking and feeling
on the inside with people on the outside. It seems to be a good working
definition of intimacy.....

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>

benevolentWarrior

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Dec 10, 2009, 3:08:46 PM12/10/09
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Hmmm. Sounds like in it for the money, more than 'being of service,' or
helpful.
Most forward thinking resources would offer a free introductory session,
just as lawyers do, to explore how the relationship might begin.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 2:23 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?


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benevolentWarrior

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Dec 10, 2009, 3:11:54 PM12/10/09
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Right on. Reminds me of years ago, with an interesting girlfriend, we were
sleeping together, and I thought intimate emotionally, until she indicated
she was not able to be there. It was an eye opener.

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 10, 2009, 5:08:26 PM12/10/09
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Thank you guys. I like Bears definition. I've done those times. It
wasn't one of those as I was digesting what was happening while not
feeling comfortable. I just wanted to get out of there.

Then again, it's not even about her. This doctor was a great catalyst
for me to see where my self-trust lies. I have made emotionally driven
decisions and doubted myself.

Yet, I did write to ask about the definition of authentic response and
whether my behaviour constituted a lie. I did get some post
appointment emails from this lady, but I just ignored them.

Zhenya The Guy that Fails to Understand Why and then Tries Again

Steffan Golt

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Dec 10, 2009, 11:26:50 PM12/10/09
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I used to believe that when woman sleeps with me that she IS 100% authentic and intimate.

Zenya, thanks for sharing your experience, but I found interesting that you are asking the group about our opinion if you were a fraud!

I believe you new and felt that you concealed what you thought of her therefore that you were inauthentic in that moment. The question is why were you hiding?

Steffan aka New River

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 11, 2009, 12:10:47 PM12/11/09
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Nice! Thank you, Steffan :o) Lots of opportunities to explore. Leaving
stones unturned I will not.

a) I been thinking today. I could ask her to use a washroom to buy
myself a few minutes to think (nothing wrong with slow responses). And
then I could refuse to pay the extra $60 on a premise that I came to
see her for the agreed fee of $120. Then again, I kind of wanted to
"cash and dash" (expression I learned in the South Carolina jail :o)

b) I did doubt myself as my decisions are often emotion based and
ridiculed by my dad. I wanted to get his approval first.

c) I thought that maybe burning the bridges is not a wise approach:
"Maybe I will go back to her given the circumstance". After all, there
is a potential everywhere (the "it may help" philosophy) - drugs,
accupuncture, homeopathy, diet, etc and solution can come from any
sources.

Yet, thing is I don't want to work with the doctor I have 0 trust in.
Even my neuroligist is honest in what he does. Should I email her and
give her shit? :o) I feel no need too. She did me a favour - I came
back to my Option learning.

Zhenya

benevolentWarrior

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Dec 11, 2009, 12:26:03 PM12/11/09
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:) stimulation comes in all shapes and forms bw

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 12:10 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?


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Steffan Golt

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Dec 12, 2009, 2:08:40 AM12/12/09
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Zhenya,

What's going on with your thoughts especially in the first paragraph below?

Even English is your second language I heard you can speak and write very clear. Your comments below do not reflect that.

Steffan


-----Original Message-----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:08:26
To: Option Circle<option...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

Kirin Loomis

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Dec 12, 2009, 10:11:22 AM12/12/09
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Hi, Steffan!
Please be more specific.  I do not see in Zhenya's message what you are finding to be unclear.
Love,
Kirin




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Subject : Re: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?
Date : Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:08:40 +0000
From : "Steffan Golt" <mana...@gmail.com>
To : option...@googlegroups.com



Kirin Loomis
Speak To Solve
612.827.2538
"Now turn your attention to that part of your mind that you call your body..." (yoga instructor)

Joy

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Dec 12, 2009, 4:20:00 PM12/12/09
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Interesting, what I understand is:

- you don't trust the doctor and don't want to be authentic with her

- you now see that there are things you could have done differently

- you hold some beliefs on why you did what you did

- you are not sure if what she could offer would help you in anyway.

What I find could be interesting is to explore your beliefs around the
treatment / diet she offers. If you are sure it would not be a good
choise for you - why would you be afraid of "burning bridges"- Mark
and I have both written about how we find that the path of the future
is brightly illuminated by the burning bridges of the past.- you can
find it at http://lifetransitioncounselor.com/blog/

love joy

Steffan Golt

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Dec 14, 2009, 12:14:51 PM12/14/09
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Kirin,

Here is the part I don't understand:


"I like Bears definition. I've done those times. It wasn't one of those as I was digesting what was happening while not feeling comfortable. I just wanted to get out of there."

Steffan


From: "Kirin Loomis" <speak...@lycos.com>
Date: Sat, 12 Dec 2009 10:11:22 -0500 (EST)

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 19, 2009, 10:27:33 PM12/19/09
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Hi guys,

Thank you for all your loving comments. I apologize for the delay. I
been thinking (maybe too much thinkihng).

Steffan: What I meant by writing "I like Bears definition. I've done


those times. It wasn't one of those as I was digesting what was
happening while not feeling comfortable. I just wanted to get out of

there." is...

I did "suppressing my thoughts" and covering them with lies by
omission or false expression (i.e. lie). Before Option I never though
of it this way. Even today I only write that in the context of your
comments and my recollection of Bears' lectures.

This time I was so overwhelmed by the doctor's attitude (i.e. outright
lies :o) that I was not thinking straight and all I could think of is
getting away from her. A thought of telling it to her like it is did
not even cross my mind.

That said, I realized that the visit itself was my childish act. I did
prepare a set of questions (as advised by my father),but I did not
come to evaluate her as my potential doctor. I came to condemn her and
collect evidence that indeed she is a hoax. I did have a hope
though??? Reasons? Lack of responsibility I gather.

There is more to say, write, think, and dialogue about.

Zhenya The Why

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 20, 2009, 6:32:42 AM12/20/09
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Sounds like the end. Or is it the beginning? But how?

Joy:

>Interesting, what I understand is:
>- you don't trust the doctor and don't want to be authentic with her

I didn't trust the doctor. I was focusing on my observation of her and
almost put myself in a trance. Nah... I was still in charge and I did
talk to her. Now that I think of it, I did swallow my doubts on a
premise that it's not something that "nice people say openly". I must
have objected here and there, but I acted subdued. What can I learn
from it? I am the key player in my life and health! Now how do I
instill this new belief...

>- you now see that there are things you could have done differently

I do! Yet, time machine is not the solution. It's understanding why I
did what I did the way I did it. I don't think my gut (non-Option
term) was in agreement with going. However, as a key player I made the
choice to go and was there on a stage to question the doctor.

>- you hold some beliefs on why you did what you did

I believe so. Yet, the more I think the less I understand. Or the less
I want to understand? I want out or do I? Arghh!!! The old song.

>- you are not sure if what she could offer would help you in anyway.

True. The girl that referred me told me that she was healed by this
doctor and I trust that girl. The only thing that comes to mind is
that no two organisms are the same and things that work for one, may
not work for another. Yet, it's still burning the hope bridge.

>What I find could be interesting is to explore your beliefs around the treatment / diet she offers. If you are sure
>it would not be a good choise for you - why would you be afraid of "burning bridges"- Mark and I have both written
>about how we find that the path of the future is brightly illuminated by the burning bridges of the past.- you can
>find it at http://lifetransitioncounselor.com/blog/
>
>love joy

I didn't believe the treatment / diet could help. This hope bridge did
seem crappy to me. Yet, it's the last doctor bridge I had. I'll be
fine! I am fine :o) The goal is to continue traveling the Option
bridge of attitude, clarity, and happiness.

Love,

Zhenya

benevolentWarrior

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Dec 20, 2009, 8:25:09 AM12/20/09
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Joy, I'm not sure what exactly you added to Zhenya's self-dialogue
disclosure. Reference to the excellent thought-stimulating piece on 'burning
bridges. It seems that was it.

Zhenya, when you observe and conclude astutely that 'time machine' is not
the solution, it 'sounds like' your acknowledging there is no past, are
you? (fully done with that? could it be you're still having issues around
acceptance?) (of her, yourself)

Perhaps if you simply revisit, or practice role playing with yourself, how
you could apply Option dialogue approaches to the situation and how you
could regain fearlessness? will help with these seemingly issues of
regret...(concern/worry/fear)

Is it not curious when you seem to question how to 'instill' new beliefs, as
if making up the freedom of choice we all possess as complicated or
difficult?

Is it fear of burning the hope bridge, supporting a lot of your vascilations
and choices?

I think it's awesome that you are indeed choosing to do more thinking, and
questioning, looking for more useful beliefs.
hugs, Larry


----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>

To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Sunday, December 20, 2009 6:32 AM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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benevolentWarrior

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Dec 20, 2009, 8:25:22 AM12/20/09
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Why the choice, or need to judge so Zhenya? -yourself and consequentially
others, as in judging, (making up one, oneself) as lying....


----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Saturday, December 19, 2009 10:27 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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benevolentWarrior

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Dec 20, 2009, 8:49:38 AM12/20/09
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Sounds like again, more vascilations, questions.

Know that you alone have the answers Z, and if you want more useful
resulting answers, seek to trust. Seek to accept that you continue
developing your ability to accept and trust, and continue the dialogue
towards realizing the goal of your wants. bw

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Sunday, December 20, 2009 6:32 AM

Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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Steffan Golt

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Dec 20, 2009, 11:27:29 AM12/20/09
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Zhenya,

Thanks for clarification. This time I have two questions:

Why your intent of the visit was to prove to yourself that she was a hoax as opposite of finding a possible cure. (What do you think about possibility of 100% curing yourself?)

Would you clarify the following:
" I did have a hope
though??? Reasons? Lack of responsibility I gather."

Steffan


-----Original Message-----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:27:33
To: Option Circle<option...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Dec 24, 2009, 10:50:00 PM12/24/09
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Quarter to 10pm. I finally sat down to write my response. My job is to
squeeze million thoughts into a few paragraphs to do my last important
job of the day.

Larry: Took me a while to figure out what you are referring to by
"vascilations". Got it! Btw, there are two l's :o) Indeed that is what
I am "doing"
- I know that I don't know (how to be happy, strong, focused,
determined)
=> Maybe "know" is the wrong word? Maybe it's "do"?

- I also know that I want to know (or rather "do"), but somehow I
don't do enough. Self-sabotage?
=> I know that Bears says we cannot sabotage ourselves. Fuck MS!
That's my job #1!

"Seek to accept that you continue developing your ability to accept
and trust, and continue the dialogue towards realizing the goal of
your wants. bw"

=> Thank you Larry!


Steffan: Why your intent of the visit was to prove to yourself that


she was a hoax as opposite of finding a possible cure. (What do you
think about possibility of 100% curing yourself?)

It would probably read silly, but I appreciated this question:
a) Why the intent?
Because I wanted to prove to my dad that my gut feeling was right.
Yet, I was willing to be proved wrong when I got there. I did not
prejudge her even with the high cost of the appointment.

b) My thoughts about 100% cure?
That's where most thinking went:
- I've lived with MS for over 8 years and had to make friends with it.
=> Some people say "I want to kill that horrendous beast".
<= Yet, while that beast is part of me, I have to respect it. It sure
taught me some valuable lessons and I want to let it go with
gratitude.

=> Now did I become dependent on it?
<= I did! My folks help, work supports me, and I use it as an excuse :o
\

=> Do I want to keep it?
<= NO! I want to run, I want to develop strong bladder, I want to make
love!

c1) Would you clarify the following: "I did have a hope though???
Like I said I was willing to be proven wrong when going for the
appointment. I had hope that it may be The Way.

c2) Reasons? Lack of responsibility I gather."
Why I went despite my gut feeling was because of my dad. Ergo "lack of
responsibility".

Thank you so much, guys. You help me gain a bit of clarity. I am
blessed!
May you have wonderful holidays!

Zhenya

PS: It took me precisely 1 hour :o)

benevolentWarrior

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Dec 25, 2009, 10:44:12 AM12/25/09
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Thanks Zhenya, for choosing to 'do' the reflection, and to share a few of
the 'million thoughts' we all have dancing at our disposal to pick and
choose where to place our focus.

We all "do" what we do, for our believed beterment.
(even if to choose to make up doing to be parallel to a 'job.') vs more
simpler acceptance of it being the result of ones programmed beliefs. I
don't pretend to know how its anything more than a choice based on seeking
some degree of pleasure, and for me to suggest to myself it's a 'job' might
lessen my experience of authentically enjoying whatever I'm choosing to do.

best wishes Zhenya, and all, towards finding increased clarity and pleasure,
out of all the
resources discoverable on our chosen path. bw

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>

To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 24, 2009 10:50 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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Thad

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Dec 25, 2009, 12:37:56 PM12/25/09
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Hi All,
I took pleasure in reading this latest flurry of postings to this
group. I take further pleasure in trusting that you, each and all,
are precisely as "merry" about Christmas as your operating beliefs
will allow.

My response to you, Zhenya, is to note that my first barrier to
authenticity is lack of self-trust. I learned, from way back, to set
up my world as an either/or theater of dualistic choices. One choice
good and worthwhile, the other bad and worthless. I sometimes use more
or less direct words to declare judgments and sometimes misdirecting
words to obfuscate them. Still the framing is either/or, and
correlates with an event-based sense of reality. Judging that I'm
likely to get a good outcome and/or avert a bad one, I believe that
I'll experience a good event. Following to the end of that construct,
if I accumulate enough good events in my life and I'll have had a good
life; therefore I can be happy only after looking back to evaluate the
quality of events and their outcomes.

You get my drift. It's old hat for seasoned Optioneers. So too, is my
alternative. With either/or, good/bad, dualistic-framings in my life
options, I create support for bi-polar vascilations. I'm sometimes
pretty subtle, not using the direct words of praise and condemnation.
But when I note in myself a ditheriing stuckness, my explorations
reveal that I've set up another pair of polar-opposite possibilities.
Solution? Create a singular self-trusting focus of "I-want".

For me, the essential, often weak, element in that construct is self-
trust. I disable an I-want focus by choosing familiar beliefs about
"mistakes" or in religious jargon, "sins" of omission or commission,
that sponsor anxious or resistant feelings. I even do fear about a
generalized euphamism called "unintended consequences". I've been
really effective, in lots of contexts, in disabling resolute action.
My best belief alternative is this: I am fully equipped to prioritize
and act toward my wants, and to use additional process-data for
creating refined clarity and strategic upgrades at any points I may
choose along the way. When I'm intentionally engaging an I-want focus,
I am happy, real time, aware that I'm doing exactly what I want to be
doing.

As long as I'm vascillating between judgmental poles of possibility,
I'm neither moving toward my wants, nor learning anything useful for
advancing them. An image for that is a pendulum. While I might choose
to watch one as an idle-time form of entertainment, pondering an
either-or pendulum of judgments will contribute nothing to advancing
any I-want focus for decisive action.

With I-want, I set myself up for "fast-logic" decisions and timely
follow through. Effectively, I engage a "just do it" approach to
advancing my wants. With that I put myself into a stream of in-process
stimuli, where I actively seek to advancement of my do-want intentions
and gather useful data to inform in-process upgrades as I see fit.
Still, if I decide that I want to cultivate "convictions", to bolster
and amplify an I-want focus, I'm free to do a "slow-logic" approach of
"I-want-because..." I can note as many reasons as I like to seal the
deal, with myself, for resolute initiative and follow through.

You wrote that you trust your friend and don't trust the doctor,
recommended by that friend. What was it about her "100% success" claim
that you used to make believe that she, and by extension her
therapeutic strategies, were not "trustworthy"? What she said might be
construed as "inflated optimism" or marketing speak, not unlike The
Option Institute claiming to be a place for "miracles." I can imagine
that some people may use that Option-claim to generate "untrustworthy"
judgments about the institute, without having any awareness of things
participants have acomplished there.

If this flurry of posting is an exploration of whether you were
inauthentic by not declaring your mistrust, then Louis nailed it,
"Yes."

Might it be about something else? If the quiry, about authenticity-or-
not, were perhaps operating as a pendulum focus of entertainment, that
would be fine. And here's my next question: How do you feel now about
believing "not trustworthy" to disallow further contact with the
friend-trusted doctor and her MS-therapy offerings?

Love and smiles,
Thad


On Dec 10, 9:13 am, "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.roit...@gmail.com>
wrote:

Steffan Golt

unread,
Dec 26, 2009, 11:47:42 AM12/26/09
to option...@googlegroups.com
The following was written by Leeza Steindorf. I'm posting it for her due to googlegroups technical issues.
So, here it is:

"Dear Steffan,


This mail was rejected by the circle. If you have a moment, would you mind posting it for me?

Dear Zenya and All,

Not having followed this 'dialogue' continually, I still want to jump  
in here and share two ideas, which have occurred to me.

Firstly, in my own recent internal exchanges about using a pleasing  
and consistent application of all I deeply 'know' to serve my  
happiness, I have come to a single conclusion: It is only in my living  
it, using it, doing it, knowing it for myself at all times and in all  
spaces, that allows me to access and experience the the happiness and  
freedom. Being non-present, asking of others, reading, talking, thinking, even  
dialoguing, are paths to myself. But I am the destination. I can  
travel forever and still not get here. Being here, now, is, for me,  
that which I seek.

So, what does that mean? For me it means presence, practice. Be and do, here and now. 
I find that I can skillfully distract  
myself from my own knowing by occupying myself with concepts and  
tools, and with the ideas of others or notions of duality. Toying with those are fun and  
insightful. It is an occupation I dearly enjoy. However, if it is my  
own happiness I am wanting to experience, it serves me best to  
arrive at my destination.  


For me that means when I cut carrots, I am present to only  
cutting carrots. When I mentor, I am present only to my explorer and the process of  
mentoring. When I am being  unhappy, I am completely present to the  
experience of being unhappy. In that 'being' is the 'knowing' I am  
wanting. May sound esoteric and far out there for some, but when I  
live in this manner, practice my life this way, then what I am wanting  
is very concrete and accessible - arrival at destination self/happiness.


Secondly, in the mystical teachings I have learned so much from (there's that occupation I love), and in the realm of quantum physics as it is currently unfolding, it is a given that the belief I carry in myself IS my reality, AND my biology (see Intelligent Cells by Dr. Bruce Lipton). In other words, if I am speaking about, or seeking, a 100% cure for myself from anything, then I am carrying the belief that I am ill. (Otherwise, I would not be seeking healing (or happiness, etc)). As long as I carry the belief that I must be cured, it shall continue to create a reality of illness. Whatever reality I give credence (read focus/presence/belief) to is the one I experience.


However, if one does not go far enough in this exploration, this 'understanding' could be used to blame oneself for one's condition, whatever it may be. That is the state of self-judgment and we all know how that feels. Yet, with further examination, together with the belief that I am always doing my best to take care of myself, another perspective can emerge. Orienting from that emerged sense of self-appreciation and self-love, I can 'do', 'know', 'arrive'. I can align my beliefs, and above all my full visceral experience of gratefulness for, and with the knowing of, my wholeness and wellness, then my 51 trillion cells line up to deliver the experience to me that I am holding as reality. For me, personally, this is not theory. I have practiced this mind-set, at times with amazing outcomes i.e. exchanged strep-throat for healthy pink mucous membranes, and tumors for smooth, whole tissue lining. 


I offer these ideas certainly not as 'truths', but rather just as a different collection of beliefs to ponder - albeit ones that continue to serve me well - when I arrive there :>). There are various sources from various disciplines teaching the possible and practical application of beliefs (knowing, healing, faith, whatever name they apply) to experience, at will, the wholeness and joy that we are at any moment in vertical time (see Gregg Braden "Speaking to the Voice of God")(if anyone is interested, I'm happy to share). Thank you all for such interesting ideas!  


Sending love and a warm hug to each of you,
Leeza"



-----Original Message-----
From: Thad <thad...@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:37:56
To: Option Circle<option...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

Steffan Golt

unread,
Dec 27, 2009, 11:55:16 AM12/27/09
to option...@googlegroups.com
Zhenya,

It looks to me that you were fraudulent when you wrote the letter below.

I won't go in details and explanations. If you agree with me than you are welcome to point to the fraudulent paragraph(s) with the answers "why (again) in this, 0ption Circle, settings?".

If you strongly disagree with me then discard my comment.

Steffan


-----Original Message-----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:50:00
To: Option Circle<option...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

unread,
Dec 28, 2009, 12:07:34 PM12/28/09
to Option Circle
Thank you Steffan :o) Thank you everybody.

I can see the truth in being called a fraud and agree with it
unselfjudgementally. I see the disconnect between what I say and what
I do and try to reconcile it (i.e. to become congruent). There's much
I want to accept, understand, and change. Recently my friend told me
to go my own way and left. Wish there were a prescriptive way to
happiness. Then again the road is as easy as I make it to be. All the
books I bought, courses I took, people I asked for advise, even
dialogues didn't by themselves bring me to my destination. Thus, it's
back to self.

benevolentWarrior

unread,
Dec 28, 2009, 12:37:52 PM12/28/09
to option...@googlegroups.com
yes self.......all motivation is ultimately 'self'-motivation
and, all the answers reside there.

The quality of our chosen thoughts underpin the flavor of our experience in
the moment, so it is simply a 'do it to ourself' situation. No one and no
course can make one think anything but what one chooses to think, and
ultimately experience.
bw

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>

To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, December 28, 2009 12:07 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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Steffan Golt

unread,
Dec 28, 2009, 8:53:32 PM12/28/09
to option...@googlegroups.com
Maybe happiness ain't a destination but an everlasting journey?

The above sentence sounds pathetic (cheesy) but it's true for me. Sometimes, I wish it was a destination where I unpack my luggage and happily live ever after...
Without worry...

Zhenya thank you for stepping up and your writings.
By the way, what disconnect did you refer to?

Steffan


-----Original Message-----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:07:34
To: Option Circle<option...@googlegroups.com>
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

unread,
Dec 29, 2009, 10:28:14 PM12/29/09
to Option Circle
Thank you guys. It is a journey, I know that. I just wish I could give
myself a break. The disconnects I was referring to are many:
"I don't want to talk", but I talk
"I want to change", but I don't
...
The list goes on and on and I decided to stop here. My ex-girlfriend
once told me "Why do you remember all the "negative" stuff about
yourself? Why not drop it?" Truth is I chose self-blame vs. self-
improvement and in the end weep over my burial and say "I am tired".
I AM tired!! Trick is the timer is still on and the game continues...

Maybe I should just sleep it off, but that's my truth of the moment.

Good night.

Zhenya

Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

unread,
Dec 30, 2009, 11:17:00 AM12/30/09
to Option Circle
Ok, it's morning. Another opportunity to start anew or to pick up
where I left off. Quitting is not an option I want - I like being
alive.

I started on the Primal Diet 2 months ago and that by itself brought
up a lot off "shtuff" to the surface. Listing it would be just another
pitiful reinforcement.

When I came to OI, I picked up the name "Zhenya The Free". But can one
be free from oneself?
- Well Zhenya, what is your own answer to your question?
- Nah! I've done plenty of stuck, I know much about my promises to
self, I tried just about everything there is to try => I do it on
purpose!

Now. it seems there is just one thing I can capitalize on - I am still
a living, thinking, breathing being. That's where I am and that is
something to be grateful for.

May you have a good New Year whatever it means to you and I will ttyl.

Love,

Zhenya

benevolentWarrior

unread,
Dec 30, 2009, 11:34:55 AM12/30/09
to option...@googlegroups.com
Perhaps if one actually appreciates, fully, their freedom, and the flip-side
responsibility, for choosing the flavor of ones gift of
"volitional-consciousness" the sensation of flow, and acceptance, helps to
carry one wherever they're aiming themselves?
BW

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>

To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 11:17 AM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

> --
>
> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
> "Option Circle" group.
> To post to this group, send email to option...@googlegroups.com.
> To unsubscribe from this group, send email to
> optioncircle...@googlegroups.com.
> For more options, visit this group at
> http://groups.google.com/group/optioncircle?hl=en.
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Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Jan 1, 2010, 12:37:37 PM1/1/10
to Option Circle
Larry, thank you for your continuous attention. Most of the time, I
make it difficult to understand your lingo. I just want to...
- be happy: joyful with laughter surrounded by friends
- fearless: meeting girls, choosing career, dropping my whining
- to live on purpose: to be clear on my wants and move toward it
And So Much More!

benevolentWarrior

unread,
Jan 1, 2010, 12:55:28 PM1/1/10
to option...@googlegroups.com
Fascinating choices my friend Zorro, oops, I mean Zhenya.
What do you imagine, or fashion yourself, as being about, or wishing to be
about?

Can you be happy, truly pleasured, when not "surrounded by friends?"
Is being "surrounded by friends" for you, evidence of being happy, or
required in order to be?

I just revisited having met someone I admire, Brian Klemmer. Anyone else
out there know of him?
I'm going to explore his "Compassionate Samuri" notion or book as it appears
to parallel my own choices. BW

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, January 01, 2010 12:37 PM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?

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>
> You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
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> To post to this group, send email to option...@googlegroups.com.
> To unsubscribe from this group, send email to
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> For more options, visit this group at
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Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)

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Jan 11, 2010, 11:39:56 AM1/11/10
to Option Circle
Wrote and rewrote my response. Picked up the pocket book "Everyday
Positive Thinking" from the shelf and opened at random. The hought of
the day is:
"Start small. If you've lived in chaos your entire life, create one
oasis of order for now - no matter how small - and maintain it for one
month before moving on." by Julie Morgenstern

benevolentWarrior

unread,
Jan 11, 2010, 1:45:58 PM1/11/10
to option...@googlegroups.com
Perhaps the notion of "Day-tight compartments" as espowsed in How to stop
Worrying and Start Living? Plan your life and live your
plan......focus....one day at a time stuff. Decide on the specifics of your
goal, and give yourself the simple question, how now, this day, this moment,
can I be a truer reflection of aiming myself towards experiencing my
'wants.'? All about relationships, first, most fundamental, is the one we
create with the person in the mirror perhaps? Larry

----- Original Message -----
From: "Zhenya (a.k.a. Free)" <eug.r...@gmail.com>
To: "Option Circle" <option...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Monday, January 11, 2010 11:39 AM
Subject: [Option Circle] Re: What is authenticity?


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