"Virtuous" Masochism ?

[Dante-Gabryell Monson]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-defeating_personality_disorder

Self-defeating personality disorder (also known as masochistic personality disorder) is a proposed personality disorder. It was discussed in an appendix of the manual's revised third edition (DSM-III-R) in 1987, but was never formally admitted into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Self-defeating personality disorder is:

A) A pervasive pattern of self-defeating behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. The person may often avoid or undermine pleasurable experiences, be drawn to situations or relationships in which they will suffer, and prevent others from helping them, as indicated by at least five of the following:

1. chooses people and situations that lead to disappointment, failure, or mistreatment even when better options are clearly available
2. rejects or renders ineffective the attempts of others to help them
3. following positive personal events (e.g., new achievement), responds with depression, guilt, or a behavior that produces pain (e.g., an accident)
4. incites angry or rejecting responses from others and then feels hurt, defeated, or humiliated (e.g., makes fun of spouse in public, provoking an angry retort, then feels devastated)
5. rejects opportunities for pleasure, or is reluctant to acknowledge enjoying themself (despite having adequate social skills and the capacity for pleasure)
6. fails to accomplish tasks crucial to their personal objectives despite demonstrated ability to do so, e.g., helps fellow students write papers, but is unable to write their own
7. is uninterested in or rejects people who consistently treat them well
8. engages in excessive self-sacrifice that is unsolicited by the intended recipients of the sacrifice

B) The behaviors in A do not occur exclusively in response to, or in anticipation of, being physically, sexually, or psychologically abused.

C) The behaviors in A do not occur only when the person is depressed.

Millon's subtypes

Theodore Millon identified four subtypes of masochist:^[2][5]

Subtype Description Personality Traits Virtuous Including histrionic features Proudly unselfish, self-denying, and self-sacrificial; self-ascetic; weighty burdens are judged noble, righteous, and saintly; others must recognize loyalty and faithfulness; gratitude and appreciation expected for altruism and forbearance. Possessive Including negativistic features Bewitches and ensnares by becoming jealous, overprotective, and indispensable; entraps, takes control, conquers, enslaves, and dominates others by being sacrificial to a fault; control by obligatory dependence. Self-undoing Including avoidant features Is “wrecked by success”; experiences “victory through defeat”; gratified by personal misfortunes, failures, humiliations, and ordeals; eschews best interests; chooses to be victimized, ruined, disgraced. Oppressed Including depressive features Experiences genuine misery, despair, hardship, anguish, torment, illness; grievances used to create guilt in others; resentments vented by exempting from responsibilities and burdening “oppressors.”



https://cezarspace.wordpress.com/tag/virtuous-masochist/

What do you do if you exhibit masochistic traits? And what do you do if you have most or all the criteria above?
The answer is years of therapy and work of self-discovery. And re-parenting.
Another quick workaround (‘cause you’re getting old during this process (therapy), if you ever dare to begin it), is similar to the protocol of working with voices in schizophrenia.

1. Accept you hear voices are a masochist.
2. Have a dialogue with your voices masochism; Accept them your masochism.
3. Mange your voices masochism, regain the Control of the situation (even choose the areas of your life where you want to be a masochist: nasty job, nasty boss, family life, relationships, sexual practices, emotional abuse, etc.)
4. Don’t Surrender to your voices masochism.
5. Regain your ability to feel and express feelings.
6. Increase your insight of the situation.