JEWISH JOKES
frees...@mailexcite.com
JEWISH JOKES
How was copper wiring invented?
Two Jews fighting over a penny!
How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
They put parking meters on the roof!
Why is money green?
Because Jews pick it before it's ripe!
What candy did Hitler hate more then any other?
Jew Jew Beans... Although I heard he enjoyed them "roasted!"
If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A fur coat!
Why don't Jews eat pork?
They may be a lot of things, but CANNIBALS they're not!
Why aren't Jews attacked by sharks?
Professional courtesy!
Do you know how to keep Jews out of a country club?
Let one in, and he'll keep the rest out.
What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
Half an hour of begging.
How can you tell the mother-in-law at a Jewish wedding?
She's the one on her hands and knees picking up the rice!
Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
What's the difference between a circumcision and crucifixion?
In a crucifixion, they throw the whole Jew out!
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Someone dropped a quarter!
Why do Jews have such big noses?
Because air is free.
What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when she learned she had an
affair?
Who catered it?
What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
What's a Jewish dilemma?
Free ham.
What's the difference between a Jewish bitch and a barracuda?
Nail polish.
What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew?
An elephant eventually forgets.
A nigger was walking down the street, kicking some rubbish out of his way,
when he spotted something amid the trash that gleamed
strangely. It urned out to be an oddly shaped bottle, and when he rubbed it, a
Jewish genie appeared. "I'll give you two wishes," quipped
the genie. "Far out," said the black man. "First, I want to be white, uptight,
and out of sight!" Second, I want to be surrounded by warm,
sweet pussy. So the genie turned him into a TAMPON! The moral of this story:
You can't get anything from a Jew without strings
attached!
How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?
Marry her!
Why do jewish bitches only sleep with circumcised men?
They want 20% off everything!
What's the difference between between karate and judo?
Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.
Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
What's the definition of a queer Jew?
Someone that likes girls more then money.
What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
A WHINE cellar.
Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?
So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?
A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
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Steeve Juneau
Dear postmaster, I hope you have policies agaist that.
Thanks.
frees...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>
> JEWISH JOKES
>
> How was copper wiring invented?
> Two Jews fighting over a penny!
>
> ... and many more
--
Steeve Juneau
Don Clarke
The Vegamite Sandwich
What is the difference between racists and ostriches?
The former has his head up his ass, not the ground, hiding from reality.
Why did the KKKer cross the road?
He doesn't know, ask his mob leader.
What's the difference between a racist and a vulture?
The vulture eats dead bodies, the anti-Semite eats dead philosophies.
Why was the mantra of the Know-Nothings "I know nothing?"
Because they didn't.
Why do racists discriminate against others?
They were born the scum of the earth. They wanted to believe others were
lower than them.
How do you cure a racist of hiccups?
Show him something that scares him...a picture of a white person and a
person of color holding hands.
How do you disarm a racist?
Take away his spray paint.
Why aren't racists struck by lightning?
Lightning never strikes twice...Their brains were already electrocuted by
close-mindedness.
How do you send a racist into mental trauma?
Give him sunglasses...everything he sees will be dark.
--
____________________________________________________
|---The Vegamite Sandwich thanks you for reading---|
| Reply address: vegamite at geocities.com |
|For questions about my name, visit my homepage at:|
|http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Haven/9783 |
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""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
four...@no.spam.com
Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
On Sat, 28 Mar 1998 08:46:24 -0600, frees...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>JEWISH JOKES
>
>
>
>How was copper wiring invented?
>Two Jews fighting over a penny!
>
>
Kenneth McVay OBC
In article <351e705...@news.datanet.ab.ca>, Edmonton's William
Grosvenor <four...@no.spam.com> wrote:
>Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
Try http://www.nizkor.org/hweb/people/g/grosvenor-william - now there's
humour.
--
The Nizkor Project: An Electronic Holocaust Educational Resource
Search: http://www.nizkor.org/search.html
Zundel?: http://www.theconvergence.com/columns/kmcvay/11041997
Ken McVay, OBC, Director: http://www.nizkor.org/~kmcvay
Megan
Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
severely beaten...
----
Megan Cohen
Jacques E. Bouchard
Megan wrote:
> Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
> severely beaten...
>
> four...@no.spam.com wrote:
>
> >Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
And to think that some people have the NERVE to claim that the
Quebecois comprise a large percentage of racists and xenophobes. Where
do they get the idea?
Jacques
shadow
What is a Gruber?
four...@no.spam.com
Since most comedians are apparently Jews, why don't you have any sense
of humour???
On Sun, 29 Mar 1998 18:53:16 GMT, meg...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com
(Megan) wrote:
>Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
>severely beaten...
>
>----
>Megan Cohen
Jacques E. Bouchard
four...@no.spam.com wrote:
> Since most comedians are apparently Jews, why don't you have any sense
> of humour???
Since most Quebecois are inbred, why don't you marry your sister?
(see, that was a Quebecois joke. I find them as funny as jew jokes.
But I don't have to tell someone with a sense of humour that)
Kenneth McVay OBC
In article <6fmf22$ojb$1...@W.oro.net>, shadow <r...@oro.net> wrote:
>What is a Gruber?
A sort of British worm - you know, the ones that turn? (They are
reported to look somewhat like a cross between a sea cucumber and Matt
Giwer...)
C.N. Ramirez
On Sun, 29 Mar 1998, shadow wrote:
>
> What is a Gruber?
a refined and cultured goober?
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
+ Ulric Reginald Simon Ramirez (1921-97). Rest In Peace, Daddy. +
+ Yvonne Gayle Antoinette born December 30th, 1997, my daughter. +
+ +
+ The Canadian Diabetic Association Christian Ramirez +
+ 1-800-BANTING Please give. Hamilton, Ontario +
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
Jason Arron Black
Megan (meg...@mindspring.com) wrote:
: Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
: severely beaten...
http://www.14words.com
http://www.whitepower.com
http://www.natall.com
http://www.stormfront.org
Travis
Megan wrote:
>
> Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
> severely beaten...
I'm Roman Catholic but I'll laugh at a Catholic joke if it's clever. I
think there's a difference between a joke intended to be clever and one
that is just to be spiteful
Megan
Because its not fucking funny. People should not be stereo-typed
based on race or religion. People like you fucking make me sick! You
are what holds our world back from peace and integration. You are a
waste of life. I hope you rot in hell where Hitler can poke you for
eternity with his big, long, burning stick.
four...@no.spam.com wrote:
>Since most comedians are apparently Jews, why don't you have any sense
>of humour???
>
>
>On Sun, 29 Mar 1998 18:53:16 GMT, meg...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com
>(Megan) wrote:
>
>>Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
>>severely beaten...
>>
Bo Warming
> Because its not fucking funny. People should not be stereo-typed
> based on race or religion. People like you fucking make me sick! You
> are what holds our world back from peace and integration. You are a
> waste of life. I hope you rot in hell where Hitler can poke you for
> eternity with his big, long, burning stick.
> >of humour???
> >>Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
> >>severely beaten...
> >>>Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
What-If no Jew-jokes, no Wagner
The jokes on stingy Jews, listed below, are harmless.
They could be used on Scots, as well.
Very childish people are hooked on symbols.
Very childish people take generalizations seriously.
They think that if they harass people
that enjoy etnic jokes or enjoy Wagner,
they are good samaritans, helping the weak.
Competition for social status is eternal.
Anti-semitism is no different from anti-poor, anti-rich, anti-black,
anti-white or any other aversion against a competing group.
Special about Jews is, that they have 1. created Christianity 2. had
enormous economic succes in spite of no land.
WW1 caused a need of a scapegoat,
and it happened to become the Jews.
Don't blame only Germans for the unfortunate kz-spinnoff of WW2.
Any etnic group is benefitted from jokes being made about them:
WHAT DOES NOT KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER!
After the jokes, I add some wisdom about humour:
>Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
>Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
>
>
>What's the definition of a queer Jew?
>Someone that likes girls more then money.
>
>
>What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
>A WHINE cellar.
>
>
>Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?
>So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
>
>
>What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?
>A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!
ON HUMOR:
He that jokes confesses. Italian proverb
Hu He who sings frightens away his ills. Cervantes (1547-
1616) Spanish Novelist, Dramatist, and Poet
hu Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's
superiority to all that befalls him. Romain Gary
hu Humor is falling downstairs if you do it while in the act of
warning your wife not to. Kenneth Bird.
Hu No one is laughable who laughs at himself. Seneca
hu Poverty... has no sharper pang than this, that it makes men
ridiculous. Juvenal
Hu Ridicule dishonours more than dishonour. La Rochefoucauld
Hu The spirit of all free spirits is the laughing
storm. Nietzsche
Hu There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind -
the humorous. Mark Twain
hu Uden en lille smule ondskabshed kan man umuglig være
vittig. Rose Macaulay
HU We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him. Napoleon
Bonaparte
hu Without a little piece of visciousness, you can not possibly be
witty. Rose Macaulay
hu!a. Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side
effects. Arnold Glas
hua Godmodig spot minder mig om alkoholfri snaps. Carl Erik
Soya
hua Den, for hvem livet er bitter alvor, kan ikke være humorist.
Goethe
hua Der er uendelig mange handlinger, der ser latterlige ud, og hvis
skjulte motiver er særdeles vise og hæderlige. La Rochefoucauld
hua Der findes intet jeg er så bange for, som en mand der er morsom
hele dagen. Madame de Sevigné
hua Det hændte på et teater, at der gik ild i kulisserne. Bajads kom
for at underrette publikum derom. Man troede, det var en vittighed og
applauderede; han gentog det; man jublede endnu mere. Således tænker
jeg, at verden vil gå til grunde under almindelig jubel af vittige
hoveder, der tror, at det er en vits. Søren Kierkegaard
hua Hellere gå glip af en spøg end af en ven. Thomas Fuller
hua Humor er et par briller, der gør det muligt for os ikke at se
visse ting. Thornton Wilder
Hua Laughter is the hiccup of a fool Ray (1627-1705) English
Naturalist.
hua Man aner ikke, hvor megen ånd der kræves for aldrig at være
latterlig. Sébastian Chamfort
Hua The blind man is laughing at the bald head. Persian
proverb
hua The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow. There is no
humor in heaven. Mark Twain
hua There is no idea, no fact, which could not be vulgarized and
presented in a ludicrous light. Dostoevsky
hua Ville hver kende sig, da spottede ingen mig. Peder Låles
Ordsprog
hua Wit sometimes enables us to act rudely with impunity. (In other
words, to step on a man's toes without spoiling his shoeshine.)
Duc de La Rochefoucauld
HUa. Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste
whore. Malcolm Muggeridge
huafs Jeg har bestræbt mig på ikke at latterliggrre, ikke at græde over,
ikke at afsky, men at forstå menneskers gerninger. Spinoza
hucchsle I admit it is better fun to punt than to be punted, and
that a desire to have all the fun is nine-tenths of the law of chivalry.-
-Dorothy L. Sayers
hudj The righteous one has no sense of humour. Bertolt
Brecht
huela Vittigheden er blomsten,fornuften er frugten See-Ma-Kong
huelc Vittigheden er epigrammet om en følelses død. Nietzsche
huh At være Elsker er lettere end at være Ægtemand, ligesm det er
sværere at være aandfuld hver Dag, end det er fra Tid til anden at bruge
smukke Talemaader Honore de Balzac
huh De ringeste af alle dage er dem, hvor man ikke har
le;et Nicolas Chamfort
huh Den sande humor er sort med en smal hvid kant. Ronald
Searle
huh Der findes intet jeg er så bange for, som en mand der er morsom
hele dagen. Madame de Sevigné
huh Det er okay at grine i soveværelset - så længe du ikke
peger. Will Durst
Huh Few men, I belive, are much worth loving, in whom there is not
something well worth laughing at. Julius C.Hare and Augustus W.
Hare
Huh Humor is the great thing, the saving thing, after all. The minute
it crops up all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny
sprit takes their place. . Mark Twain
huhh When a man makes her laugh, a woman feels protected. Ugo
Betti
hui Bevidstheden om mangfoldighed og om det rette forhold i dens
elementer er netop ironi. Johan Ludvig Heiberg
hui Ironi vil næsten altid sige at ændre en nødsituation til en
overlegenhed. Thomas Mann
hui The free mind must have one policeman, Irony. Elbert
Hubbard
Hui The habit of irony, like that of sarcasm, spoils the character.
It gradually fosters the quality of a malicious superiority. One finally
grows like a snappy dog that has learn to laugh as well as to bite.
huih The free mind must have one policeman, Irony. Elbert
Hubbard
huklhh Troskab mod en nar gør selv vor troskab dum Shakespeare
huloe Det er meget lettere at bedrage folk end at få dem til at le.
Moliere
hulø At rose fyrsterne for dyder, de ikke har, er ensbetydende med
ustraffet at sige dem grovheder. Rochefoucauld
humk Hvad forbyder sandhed at sige med spøg? Horats
hun Few men, I believe, are much worth loving, in whom there is not
something well worth laughing at. Hare
hun No one is laughable who laughs at himself. Seneca
huo Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. Nietzsche
hup En stor del af fornøjelsen ved vittigheder ligger i,
at de udfordrer fornuften., Sigmund Freud
hup Sans for humor er et sympati-bindeled med andre
mennesker. Ralph Waldo Emerson
hup Som en vanvittig mand, der udslynger gløder, pile og død, er den,
der sviger sin næste og siger: "Jeg spøger jo kun." Salomons
Ordsprog
hup Vi ler ofte af en ondskab i os, som vi ikke kender, og ikke ville
kendes ved Frithiof Brandt
hup Måske ved jeg bedst hvorfor mennesket er det eneste dyr der ler -
det alene lider så frygteligt, at det måtte opfinde latteren.
hup Humor er det eneste skabende område, der udløser en fysiologisk
refleks -latteren. Arthur Koestler
hup Humor er det sukker, der får cementen til at smuldre, og derefter
er situationen håbløs, men ikke alvorlig. Marie-Louise
Paludan
Hup Humor is wit and love. Thackeray (1811-1863) English
Novelist
hup Jesters do often prove prophets. Shakespeare (1564-1616)
English Dramatist and Poet
hup Latterens stimulans er en intellektuel begivenhed, men den går
hurtigt over til at blokere alt andet. Der er kun to andre fænomener,
der så fuldkomment dominere ens opmærksomhed: orgasmen og nyset.
Howard Pollio
Hup Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined
to the human species. Hunt (1784-1859) English Poet, Critic,
and Journalist
hup Menneskene viser ikke deres karakter så tydeligt gennem noget, som
gennem hvad de finder latterligt. Goethe
HUp The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality,
the opening of new frontiers. Arthur Koestler
hup What is perfectly true is perfectly witty. La
Rochefoucauld
hup Wit is The epitaph of an emotion. Nietzsche
hurs There is no spectacle more agreeable than watching an old friend
fall from a roof. Confucius
A Jewish friend of mine disagree with me about one Jew-joke(most of which
are produced by Jews!
(There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that
no one else has the right to blame us. Oscar Wilde)
JEW IN NEW YORK SUBWAY(observing negro reading a Hebrew text): Are you
Jewish ?
NEGRO: Yes, why not ?
JEW: You are both black and Jewish - isn't one of them enough.
I interpret this as the Jew being jealous of somebody having double
martyrium. My friend believe that the Jew in the subway, is feeling pity
of a double victim of evil fate.
Bo Warming. cand.scient. gymnasielærer, Bjelkes Alle 46, DK-2200
Copenhagen.TELEPHONE (+45)35861000.
E-mail: bowa...@bigfoot.com. URL: http://www.glistrup.com
Kenneth McVay OBC
In article <Pine.SOL.3.96.980330...@muss.CIS.McMaster.CA>,
C.N. Ramirez <rami...@muss.CIS.McMaster.CA> wrote:
>On Sun, 29 Mar 1998, shadow wrote:
>>
>> What is a Gruber?
>
>a refined and cultured goober?
a defined and wasted loser?
--
The Nizkor Project: An Electronic Holocaust Educational Resource
Search: http://www.nizkor.org/search.html
Put up or shut up, Grosvenor:
http://www.nizkor.org/hweb/people/g/grosvenor-william/make-my-year.html
John Olejniczak
Megan wrote in message <351e982a...@news.mindspring.com>...
>Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
>severely beaten...
>
>----
>Megan Cohen
>
>
>
>
>four...@no.spam.com wrote:
>
>>Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
>>
>>
>>
John Olejniczak
Please be gentle with Megan.You must realize that she is very insecure.Once
she matures and becomes a whole person,she will be able to laugh at herself
as any mature and secure adult can.
four...@no.spam.com
Glad to see that even residents in NS have a good sense of humour,
unlike some others....
On Wed, 1 Apr 1998 06:54:30 -0400, "John Olejniczak"
<hand...@klis.com> wrote:
>
>Megan wrote in message <351e982a...@news.mindspring.com>...
>>Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
>>severely beaten...
four...@no.spam.com
Since jews make up most of the comedians of this century, could it be
that this is recycled material from some of them??
Still, it is all worth a laugh, even if they are jew jokes.
On Sat, 28 Mar 1998 08:46:24 -0600, frees...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>JEWISH JOKES
>
>
>
>What's the difference between between karate and judo?
>Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.
>
>
>Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
>Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
>
>
>What's the definition of a queer Jew?
>Someone that likes girls more then money.
>
>
>What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
>A WHINE cellar.
>
>
>Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?
>So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
>
>
>What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?
>A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!
>
Gina LaRocca
Megan wrote:
>
> Because its not fucking funny. People should not be stereo-typed
> based on race or religion. People like you fucking make me sick! You
> are what holds our world back from peace and integration. You are a
> waste of life. I hope you rot in hell where Hitler can poke you for
> eternity with his big, long, burning stick.
>
>
> >Since most comedians are apparently Jews, why don't you have any sense
> >of humour???
> >
> >
> >(Megan) wrote:
> >
> >>severely beaten...
> >>
> >>Megan Cohen
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>four...@no.spam.com wrote:
> >>
> >>>Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >
Megan's Mouth.......An Endless Adventure Of Intelligence!.....Gina
Gina LaRocca
Megan wrote:
>
> Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
> severely beaten...
>
> ----
> Megan Cohen
>
> four...@no.spam.com wrote:
>
> >Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
> >
> >
> >
Well Look At Liberal Megan Calling The Kettle Black. Get A Life
Megan......Gina
Heidi
Gina LaRocca wrote:
Where did they come up with that expression from: Calling The Kettle
Black??
--
Heidi Rogers
Publisher, CyberGrrlz
"The e-zine for girls with brains and a sense of humor"
(smarter guys will like it too)
http://www.cybergrrlz.com
Bo Warming
In article <6g5bl5$eak$3...@earth.superlink.net>, hei...@cybergrrlz.com
says...
>
>
> Gina LaRocca wrote:
>
> > Megan wrote:
> > >
> > > Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
> > > severely beaten...
Robert Surtees
Peter S. Saly
Heidi wrote
>
> Where did they come up with that expression from: Calling The Kettle
> Black??
>
Well, the full phrase is
"The Pot calling the Kettle Black.."
In the old days, when food was cooked in a hearth or fireplace, the soot
from the fire covered the outside of all pots and kettles with black...
So a "Pot Calling a Kettle Black" was redundant since they were both black
from the soot...
Bo Warming
toilet and read on the wall «Jesus saves»? He immediatly added: «But
Moses invests».
Do you know why jews watch porn videos on «Rewind»?
Because they only get turned on when they see the hookers returning the
money to the clients
The fact that gas chambers never existed spoils one great joke: it's
the birthday of the Dachau kommandant and he decides to pardon an old
jew and tells him that he his also granted one wish. He can ask for
anything he wants, even his freedom. Old Shlomo thinks for three
minutes, and then he says: «Can I ask for anything I want, kommandant?».
«Yes, even your freedom. Do you want to be released right away?», says
the kommandant. And Shlomo replies: «No, I'd rather have the exclusive
to the gas used in the chambers».
Darn revisionists, ruining all these good jokes!
Walter Petelka
On Sat, 04 Apr 1998 07:30:20 -0800, Gina LaRocca <gin...@juno.com>
wrote:
>Megan wrote:
>>
>> Anyone who actually think this kind of crap is funny needs to be
>> severely beaten...
>>
>> ----
>> Megan Cohen
>>
>> four...@no.spam.com wrote:
>>
>> >Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>
>Well Look At Liberal Megan Calling The Kettle Black. Get A Life
>Megan......Gina
Rather than turning on the flame throwers why don't you spend your
time tracking down the original poster and complaining to their ISP.
But keep in mind that you had the choice to scroll down past the
header which obviously is meant to incite.....both of you chose to hit
the enter key.
I never saw the original "joke" as I did excersice my scroll option.
wpet...@NOSPAMidirect.com
http://webhome.idirect.com/~wpetelka
ICQ #7645954
With Freedom Comes Risk-Ban Anon Sigs.
Ceri Evans
Would whoever started this thread or is continuing this thread please move it to
alt.tasteless.jokes? All sorts of racist jokes find a home there.
While we're at it, would whoever hijacked the ont.general et al newsgroups with the
last two weeks' worth of revisionist crap please take it somewhere else also? There
must be a suitable home for your ravings, like maybe alt.juvenile.nonsense or perhaps
soc.culture.small-willy. You'll be among friends, and won't have to accuse anyone of
censorship.
C. Evans
Damion
you fucking nazi why. the fuck are you trying to put the equal
right movemant back after thousand of people have died for it
frees...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>JEWISH JOKES
>What's the difference between between karate and judo?
>Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.
>Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
>Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
>What's the definition of a queer Jew?
>Someone that likes girls more then money.
>What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
>A WHINE cellar.
>Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?
>So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
>What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?
>A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!
>-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
David Cohen
All these morons need a good lesson in human rights.
elwoodpdowd
>In the old days, when food was cooked in a hearth or fireplace, the soot
>from the fire covered the outside of all pots and kettles with black...
>So a "Pot Calling a Kettle Black" was redundant since they were both black
>from the soot...
Er....no. The expression is not concerned with redundancy, but with
*hypocrisy*. Its point is that no one is in a position to condemn
someone else for faults that he too possesses.
elwoodpdowd
>All these morons need a good lesson in human rights.
Without zeroing in on Jews or anyone else, could I make the point
that none of us is in a position to complain, when we find jokes about
other groups amusing, but are deeply offended when our own group is
targeted?
For instance, there is something wrong with an Irishman laughing at
and repeating "Newfie" jokes, jokes about gays, and jokes about dumb
blondes, and then taking serious offence when someone tells a joke
about the Irish in his presence.
It is just not good enough to find amusement in stories about every
other group but your own. That is self-seeking and hypocritical.
Either object to ***ALL*** ethnic and group humour, or object to
***NONE***.
No one must insist that every ethnic group but his own can be the
subject of jibes. You want to laugh at "priest jokes"? Fine. Just
don't object to jokes about rabbis or imams.
By the way, the best definition of a sense of humour is the ability to
laugh at oneself. Laughing at someone else simply reveals a cruel
streak.
Eric Mills
elwoodpdowd,ed...@free.net,UUCP writes:
For instance, there is something wrong with an Irishman laughing at
and repeating "Newfie" jokes, jokes about gays, and jokes about dumb
blondes, and then taking serious offence when someone tells a joke
about the Irish in his presence.
Why are Newfie jokes so dumb?
So mainlanders can understand them.
Eric Mills
elwoodpdowd,ed...@free.net,UUCP writes:
Either object to ***ALL*** ethnic and group humour,
or object to ***NONE***.
Group and ethnicity aren't the same thing.
Ethnicity is inherited and virtually immutable;
group can be any association, voluntary or otherwise.
For instance amidst all the hysteria in the last few months
about snowmobilers killing themselves while
on ice they were warned was too thin,
people wondered how to get through to these knuckleheads.
My solution: start a series of jokes about snowmobilers.
Eventually, they'd get the message.
Sweet Mary R.
elwoodpdowd wrote:
>All these morons need a good lesson in human rights.
Without zeroing in on Jews or anyone else, could I make the point
that none of us is in a position to complain, when we find jokes about
other groups amusing, but are deeply offended when our own group is
targeted?
For instance, there is something wrong with an Irishman laughing at
and repeating "Newfie" jokes, jokes about gays, and jokes about dumb
blondes, and then taking serious offence when someone tells a joke
about the Irish in his presence.
It is just not good enough to find amusement in stories about every
other group but your own. That is self-seeking and hypocritical.
Either object to ***ALL*** ethnic and group humour, or object to
***NONE***.No one must insist that every ethnic group but his own can be the
four...@no.spam.com
Glad to see some humour for a change in this ng.
torqu...@inquisition.org
li302
do i know you?
You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned is
you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted and your
posts are sent to the police.
Nicole et André
When I read this type of posting "Jewish Jokes" I beleive it's a waste of
time,
the person writing is out of this world, sick or what.....
Let all people alone and first of all respect all groups
do i know you? a écrit dans le message
<01bd6f1e$153f1680$476788cf@default>...
Mike
>What candy did Hitler hate more then any other?
>Jew Jew Beans... Although I heard he enjoyed them "roasted!"
Isn't that joke a federal offense? Well...it should be.
> What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
> Half an hour of begging.
Isn't that joke nobody's business? Well...it should be.
> What's the difference between a circumcision and crucifixion?
> In a crucifixion, they throw the whole Jew out!
Oh great, this guy's found a way to piss off the Jews and the Christians at
the same time! What a genious! (Somebody get me a toilet, I'm sick).
I have argued for so long that what people see and hear does not influence
the way they think to the degree the anti-media nuts believe it does, but
even putting that aside, you're still an asshole. Actually, that's not a
strong enough word, but I'm a civil sort of man so I won't go farther. Oh,
hatred is such a terrible thing to waste, isn't it? I've got my own joke
for you...
How do Jews get free ham?
We lock your ass in a room with 12 of them for half an hour.
Go to hell you racist, anti-semetic pig.
-Mike
Travis
do i know you? wrote:
>
> You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned >is you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted >and your posts are sent to the police.
Police? Why? I don't know where you live but I don't believe he
commited a crime.
Jason Arron Black
do i know you? (sp...@noapm.com) wrote:
: You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned is
: you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted and your
: posts are sent to the police.
I was the poster of the Jew jokes, go ahead and contact anyone you want.
Daniel Swan
yannik (!!!yan...@bigfoot.com) wrote:
: =============================================
: -= IF I DISLIKE WHAT I READ... I DON'T READ IT !!! =-
: [ RAY CHARLES ]
Ray Charles? Are you joking?
Frank Heisler
Nicole et André (adu...@login.net) wrote:
: When I read this type of posting "Jewish Jokes" I beleive it's a waste of
: time,
: the person writing is out of this world, sick or what.....
: Let all people alone and first of all respect all groups
Actually, all those jokes came out of a series of jewish joke books for
adults written by 3 or 4 guys who were jewish...
I remember seeing them in a jewish joke book back when I was in Hebrew
School...
--
Cheeri'o...
Frank...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
sbirn
On Sun, 26 Apr 1998 18:31:06 GMT, <d...@TAKETHISOFFoz.net> wrote:
>Just because a Jewish person wrote it doesn't make it any more wrong
>than it is.
I think that a couple of the jokes went too far (the ones
referring to the Holocaust, etc) but on the other hand some were typical
jokes that I've been hearning in both countries I've lived in. If
you're too afraid of poking a bit of fun at yourself once in a while,
I think it's time to loosen the tie.
Megan
d...@TAKETHISOFFoz.net (Dov) wrote:
>On Sat, 25 Apr 1998 15:36:08 GMT, fra...@dns.tlug.org (Frank Heisler)
>wrote:
>
>>Actually, all those jokes came out of a series of jewish joke books for
>>adults written by 3 or 4 guys who were jewish...
>>
>>I remember seeing them in a jewish joke book back when I was in Hebrew
>>School...
>
>Just because a Jewish person wrote it doesn't make it any more wrong
>than it is. Those "jokes" are demeaning just as JAP (Jewish American
>Princess) jokes are demeaning to Jewish women. It is not humourous.
I'm sorry, but as a jewish woman I believe the term JAP definitely
fits a few people....
------
"Hope not ever to see heaven: I come to lead you to the other shore; into the eternal darkness; into fire and into ice."
--Dante's Inferno
Megan Cohen <meg...@mindspring.com>
SuperChica (was do I know you?)
Yes he did, he is posting hateful material to an online forum.
Travis <love...@ou.edu> wrote in article <3540E1...@ou.edu>...
> do i know you? wrote:
> >
> > You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned
>is you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted >and
your posts are sent to the police.
>
SuperChica (was do I know you?)
You are ONE SICK MOTHER FUCKER.
Jason Arron Black <cj...@torfree.net> wrote in article
<EryHMI.EM...@torfree.net>...
> do i know you? (sp...@noapm.com) wrote:
> : You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned
is
> : you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted and
your
> : posts are sent to the police.
>
>
SuperChica (was do I know you?)
Your signature is disgusting and totally offensive.
Bruce Becker
In article <EryHMI.EM...@torfree.net>,
Jason Arron Black <cj...@torfree.net> wrote:
|do i know you? (sp...@noapm.com) wrote:
|: You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned is
|: you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted and your
|: posts are sent to the police.
|
|
|I was the poster of the Jew jokes, go ahead and contact anyone you want.
why did the neonazi cross the road?
because there was something better to hate
on the other side
--
,u, Bruce Becker Toronto, Ontario 1 416 699 1868
a /i/ Internet: b...@gts.org Uucp: ...!gts!bdb
`\o\-e "When did the Me Generation become the meme generation?"
_< /_ - Mimi Pond, historian
jcarrick
>>Actually, all those jokes came out of a series of jewish joke books for
>>adults written by 3 or 4 guys who were jewish...
>>I remember seeing them in a jewish joke book back when I was in Hebrew
>>School...
>Just because a Jewish person wrote it doesn't make it any more wrong
>than it is. Those "jokes" are demeaning just as JAP (Jewish American
>Princess) jokes are demeaning to Jewish women. It is not humourous.
(1) There is no topic that is not a fit subject for humour.
(2) Most people subscribe to a double standard concerning ethnic or
regional humour. They will accept one of their own poking fun at
their group, but take offense when an outsider does it. Blacks can
call each other "nigger" in a joking manner for instance, but almost
always find the term unacceptable coming from a non-Black.
(3) Having a sense of humour has nothing to do with laughing at
others. It is all about the ability to laugh at yourself. On that
basis, some people here have a limited sense of humour.
It's a free country though.
Travis
SuperChica (was do I know you?) wrote:
>
> Yes he did, he is posting hateful material to an online forum.
>
> > do i know you? wrote:
> > >
> > > You are a very sick mother fucker. The only one that should be burned
> >is you. Take your shit off the nesgroups before your ISP is contacted >and
> your posts are sent to the police.
> >
> > commited a crime.
America.
Frank Heisler
Dov (d...@TAKETHISOFFoz.net) wrote:
: Just because a Jewish person wrote it doesn't make it any more wrong
: than it is. Those "jokes" are demeaning just as JAP (Jewish American
: Princess) jokes are demeaning to Jewish women. It is not humourous.
I didn't say it didn't make it wrong. I just said that the jokes that
this individual was posting to prove a racial-slant had turned up in
jewish joke books anyway - ergo the content of the message to me, didn't
hold much water.
vega...@geocities.com
In article <3543c6e...@news.mindspring.com>,
meg...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com wrote:
>
> d...@TAKETHISOFFoz.net (Dov) wrote:
>
> >On Sat, 25 Apr 1998 15:36:08 GMT, fra...@dns.tlug.org (Frank Heisler)
> >wrote:
> >
> >>adults written by 3 or 4 guys who were jewish...
> >>
> >>I remember seeing them in a jewish joke book back when I was in Hebrew
> >>School...
> >
> >than it is. Those "jokes" are demeaning just as JAP (Jewish American
> >Princess) jokes are demeaning to Jewish women. It is not humourous.
>
> fits a few people....
>
> ------
> "Hope not ever to see heaven: I come to lead you to the other shore; into the eternal darkness; into fire and into ice."
> --Dante's Inferno
>
> Megan Cohen <meg...@mindspring.com>
>
>
I have to agree with Dov's point of view...they are demeaning. Of course, I
say this from the standpoint of not being Jewish, so I guess I wouldn't know.
Megan: Did you mean Jewish as in race or religion? Just curious... --The
Vegamite Sandwich
Hartmann Schaffer
vega...@geocities.com wrote:
> ...
> I have to agree with Dov's point of view...they are demeaning. Of course, I
> say this from the standpoint of not being Jewish, so I guess I wouldn't know.
> Megan: Did you mean Jewish as in race or religion? Just curious... --The
Do you really think there is such a thing as a Jewish race (btw, how do
you define race, anyway, beyond "I know a xxx when I see one"?)? Afaik
there is a religion, a Jewish tradition (tree), and a (several?) Jewish
culture(s) based on the tradition. But race? Look at the diversity of
origin of the various Jewish comminities (Russia, Ethiopia, North
America, ...)
--
Hartmann Schaffer
Guelph, Ontario, Canada
scha...@netcom.ca (hs)
Megan
vega...@geocities.com wrote:
>
>I have to agree with Dov's point of view...they are demeaning. Of course, I
>say this from the standpoint of not being Jewish, so I guess I wouldn't know.
>Megan: Did you mean Jewish as in race or religion? Just curious... --The
>Vegamite Sandwich
>
I say it as part of my religious backgrorund
Megan
Hartmann Schaffer <scha...@netcom.ca> wrote:
>
>Do you really think there is such a thing as a Jewish race (btw, how do
>you define race, anyway, beyond "I know a xxx when I see one"?)? Afaik
>there is a religion, a Jewish tradition (tree), and a (several?) Jewish
>culture(s) based on the tradition. But race? Look at the diversity of
>origin of the various Jewish comminities (Russia, Ethiopia, North
>America, ...)
>
I think he was actually calling me a hippicrite from some previous
posts I have made. . . twasn't meant to offend anyone else....
vega...@geocities.com
In article <354624dc...@news.mindspring.com>,
meg...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com wrote:
>
> vega...@geocities.com wrote:
>
> >
> >I have to agree with Dov's point of view...they are demeaning. Of course, I
> >say this from the standpoint of not being Jewish, so I guess I wouldn't know.
> >Megan: Did you mean Jewish as in race or religion? Just curious... --The
> >Vegamite Sandwich
> >
> I say it as part of my religious backgrorund
>
> "Hope not ever to see heaven: I come to lead you to the other shore; into the eternal darkness; into fire and into ice."
> --Dante's Inferno
>
> Megan Cohen <meg...@mindspring.com>
>
>
Just wondering...your other posts said you were agnostic...is it your
parent's religion?
I'm Episcopalian, but it's mostly because that's what my parents are...I
can't really see much of a difference between all the Cristian protestant
religions... Episcopalianism is a sort of hybrid between Catholicism and
protestantism...no pope, but they still have all the pompous titles like
"bishop". No real reason for existing, other than to meet in councils every
three years to make a concerned effort to do nothing. :)
Gina LaRocca
Megan wrote:
>
> vega...@geocities.com wrote:
>
> >
> >I have to agree with Dov's point of view...they are demeaning. Of course, I
> >say this from the standpoint of not being Jewish, so I guess I wouldn't know.
> >Megan: Did you mean Jewish as in race or religion? Just curious... --The
> >Vegamite Sandwich
> >
> I say it as part of my religious backgrorund
>
> ------
> "Hope not ever to see heaven: I come to lead you to the other shore; into the eternal darkness; into fire and into ice."
> --Dante's Inferno
>
> Megan Cohen <meg...@mindspring.com>
Heh Heh Heh..Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Heh Heh Heh Meg Has
Religion?....Heh Heh HehHeh HehHeh....Gina
Megan
Gina LaRocca <gin...@juno.com> wrote:
Gina you are truly pathetic... a waste of life. You have absolutely
nothing to contribute to anyone, yet you continue to post your
simple-minded one-line statements. Do you enjoy seeing your name all
over alt.teens... especially the numerous flames? You disgust me.
Megan
vega...@geocities.com wrote:
>>
>
>Just wondering...your other posts said you were agnostic...is it your
>parent's religion?
>
Yes I am agnostic and yes judaism is my parent's religion. My views
and the views of my parents and their religion conflict tremendously
so with much to their dismay I quit going to synagouge with them. I
just can't deal with most organized religions.....
>I'm Episcopalian, but it's mostly because that's what my parents are...I
>can't really see much of a difference between all the Cristian protestant
>religions... Episcopalianism is a sort of hybrid between Catholicism and
>protestantism...no pope, but they still have all the pompous titles like
>"bishop". No real reason for existing, other than to meet in councils every
>three years to make a concerned effort to do nothing. :)
>
I think it defeats the entire point of belonging to a church if you do
it just cuz that's what your family does.. people shouldn't be forced
into relgion. It should be an individual choice made by the person
when they are mature enough and well-read on the subject.
Hehehe.... BTW this chick from Australia let me try her vegamite stuff
and it was gross!!! How can you people stand it??? Ewww =)
Gina LaRocca
Yea Right!..First Time Something Bad Happens It Will Be "Oh God Help
Me".....Phonies ......................Gina
vega...@geocities.com
In article <35474004...@news.mindspring.com>#1/1,
meg...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com wrote:
>
> vega...@geocities.com wrote:
>
> >>
> >
> >Just wondering...your other posts said you were agnostic...is it your
> >parent's religion?
> >
> Yes I am agnostic and yes judaism is my parent's religion. My views
> and the views of my parents and their religion conflict tremendously
> so with much to their dismay I quit going to synagouge with them. I
> just can't deal with most organized religions.....
Yeah. Too much pompousity. Too many do-nothing titles like "Arch-Bishop". Too
many oaths. Too many donation requests. Too many long, drawn-out spiels of
how everybody who disagrees with the church is evil and should rot in hell...
What ever happened to just plain "I believe in God, and that's it"?
> >I'm Episcopalian, but it's mostly because that's what my parents are...I
> >can't really see much of a difference between all the Cristian protestant
> >religions... Episcopalianism is a sort of hybrid between Catholicism and
> >protestantism...no pope, but they still have all the pompous titles like
> >"bishop". No real reason for existing, other than to meet in councils every
> >three years to make a concerned effort to do nothing. :)
> >
> I think it defeats the entire point of belonging to a church if you do
> it just cuz that's what your family does.. people shouldn't be forced
> into relgion. It should be an individual choice made by the person
> when they are mature enough and well-read on the subject.
Yeah...I believe in God, just not the Episcopaliens' interpretation of it.
When I get out of high school, I'll change to a different, simple religion,
or maybe just none at all...
I guess it's better than if we had chosen my great-grandparent's religion,
Baptism...
the church I *used* to go to was entirely too political. First church I've
EVER seen a minister hawking for donations to Republican PACs. They seem to
believe in alienating homosexuals and preventing women from entering the
ministry. They also happen to be the richest church in the Episcopalien
umbrella, so they get a lot more say than they should.
There used to be a novel idea called "Seperation of Church and State", but it
seems to have gone the way of open-mindedness and politics-free worship. I
used to think the point of religion was to worship God and not worship
politics and the holy dollar, but now I don't know...
> Hehehe.... BTW this chick from Australia let me try her vegamite stuff
> and it was gross!!! How can you people stand it??? Ewww =)
Oh, this is funny!
I'm not Australian, and I've never tasted vegemite. One reason I made the
name was to be anti-social and mislead people into thinking I was somebody
I'm not. :) It's actually an acronym(Did I get that right? I mean where you
take little peices of words and make a new word.).
My site has an explanation.
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Haven/9783
I made it after I got tired of explaining the meaning of The Vegamite
Sandwich, so I put it up on the site along with a few other wierd pages I
decided to throw in there for fun. Nothing great yet, I'm working on it. :)
>
> ------
> "Hope not ever to see heaven: I come to lead you to the other shore; into the eternal darkness; into fire and into ice."
> --Dante's Inferno
>
> Megan Cohen <meg...@mindspring.com>
>
>
--The Vegamite Sandwich
bjarn...@zhid.org
>JEWISH JOKES
>
>
>
>How was copper wiring invented?
>Two Jews fighting over a penny!
>
>
>How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
>They put parking meters on the roof!
>
>
>Why is money green?
>Because Jews pick it before it's ripe!
>
>
>What candy did Hitler hate more then any other?
>Jew Jew Beans... Although I heard he enjoyed them "roasted!"
>
>
>If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
>A fur coat!
>
>
>Why don't Jews eat pork?
>They may be a lot of things, but CANNIBALS they're not!
>
>
>Why aren't Jews attacked by sharks?
>Professional courtesy!
>
>
>Do you know how to keep Jews out of a country club?
>Let one in, and he'll keep the rest out.
>
>
>What's the Jewish version of foreplay?
>Half an hour of begging.
>
>
>How can you tell the mother-in-law at a Jewish wedding?
>She's the one on her hands and knees picking up the rice!
>
>
>Did you hear about the new tires, Firestein?
>They not only stop on a dime, they also pick it up!
>
>
>What's the difference between a circumcision and crucifixion?
>In a crucifixion, they throw the whole Jew out!
>
>
>Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
>Someone dropped a quarter!
>
>
>Why do Jews have such big noses?
>Because air is free.
>
>
>What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when she learned she had
>an
>affair?
>Who catered it?
>
>
>What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
>He breaks his nose.
>
>
>What's a Jewish dilemma?
>Free ham.
>
>
>What's the difference between a Jewish bitch and a barracuda?
>Nail polish.
>
>
>What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew?
>An elephant eventually forgets.
>
>
>A nigger was walking down the street, kicking some rubbish out of his
>way,
>when he spotted something amid the trash that gleamed
>strangely. It urned out to be an oddly shaped bottle, and when he
>rubbed it, a
>Jewish genie appeared. "I'll give you two wishes," quipped
>the genie. "Far out," said the black man. "First, I want to be white,
>uptight,
>and out of sight!" Second, I want to be surrounded by warm,
>sweet pussy. So the genie turned him into a TAMPON! The moral of this
>story:
>You can't get anything from a Jew without strings
>attached!
>
>
>How do you stop a Jewish girl from fucking you?
>Marry her!
>
>
>Why do jewish bitches only sleep with circumcised men?
>They want 20% off everything!
>
>
>What's the difference between between karate and judo?
>Karate is a form of self-defense, and judo is what bagels are made of.
>
>
>Did you hear that the limbo was invented by the Jews?
>Yeah, from sneaking into pay toilets.
>
>
>What's the definition of a queer Jew?
>Someone that likes girls more then money.
>
>
>What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
>A WHINE cellar.
>
>
>Why did the Jewish mother have herself entombed at Bloomingdales?
>So her daughter would visit at least twice a week.
>
>
>What's the difference between a vulture and a Jew?
>A vulture waits until you're dead to eat your heart out!