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DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to
Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate
when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.
They started crying and turned around and went
home.
FLORIDA
OR MOON
Two blondes living in
Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is
farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other
blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida ?????'
CAR
TROUBLE
A
blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She
tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on
it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the
story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in
the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I
have to do that?'
SPEEDING
TICKET
A
police officer stops a blonde for speeding and
asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I
wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and
then today you expect me to show it to
you!'
RIVER
WALK
There's this blonde out
for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts,
'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up
the river then down the river and shouts back,
'You ARE on the other side.'
AT
THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A
gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's
office and said that her body hurt wherever she
touched it.
'Impossible!'says the
doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her
finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're
not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm
actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor
said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A
highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car
on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel
was knitting!
Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled
back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE
ON THE SUN
A
Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking
one day.
The Russian said, 'We were
the first in space!'
The American said, 'We
were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what?
We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads.
'You can't land on the
sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To
which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!'
IN
A
VACUUM
A
blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It
was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed
on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you
are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you hear it?' She thought for a time and then
asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her
blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and
one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?'
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde.
'They're watch dogs'!
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