Odsp dating group

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

This is so important to me. I still don't know what to write.

I'm going to forget about it and just say it straight forward.

I'm sick and tired of being single, to the point where my anxiety is
over the roof. After having tried for so long, so many times to get
together with a girl, it really has taken me to a whole new level of
stress and low self-esteem. Worst of all, 90% of this was due to
events in which I had no control. I wish I did have control, at least
I could say what I did wrong and work on it so that it doesn't happen
again.

I honestly think I could have lived without ODSP given a situation
where I'd have found myself a good girlfriend, or at least didn't go
through all this. If you think I'm just delusional, just think again.
Last time I thought I finally found a good girl to have a relationship
with, I had no anxiety whatsoever. The stress that is always on my
shoulders 24/7 WAS GONE!! Even my friends saw a whole new person in
me.

The longer I wait, the more my anxiety goes up. Just when you'd think
it can't be any higher, it goes up 10 notches again. Same for my self
esteem except that goes way down. I could explain and even prove to
you scientifically how this is affecting my every day life.

After the last time I had intercourse, I had such a bad experience it
took a blow on my confidence. When you think the stress of wanting it
is bad enough, now I have to deal with sexual performance issues
caused by this anxiety built up over time. Well girls do leave you for
that, although I think it's extremely shallow and mostly cruel.

I mean that in the less offensive way possible. All girls have to do
is spread their legs, we guys have much more to think about. I'm
afraid that by the time I finally get together with a girl, if I don't
go through another 10 by that time just trying to get together with
them, that she'll leave me due to my sexual performance. And that will
take yet another huge hit on me.

You can't say people don't think your a loser if your on ODSP for
mental disabilities because you are denying the truth. I know, people
treat me worst since I'm on it. I used to drink, smoke, do drugs, sell
em, fight, yet nobody thought I was a loser. I then chose to go on
ODSP and change my life and guess what?! It seems that being a drug
dealer according to most people is a more rational choice than doing
what's right and taking care of yourself. In my case, going on ODSP.

That being said, I think I'm worthy of a GF who respects me yet I feel
pretty hopeless. I decided to share my life story in hopes that
someone else can relate to this and say, "yeah it's true".

I think it would be great if someone stood out and started an ODSP
dating group. So that us "losers" can stick together. I'm sure some of
you girls on ODSP had similar problems. I don't have the means to do
it, since I have only a few selected friends, otherwise I'd be the
first. Even some events in which people from the ODSP can make friends
would be great. Dating sites are bogus. We should plan things in each
our own city and hope that people will show up.

[Shelley Blidner]

I think someone needs to be honest with you Patrick...if this is how you
think of women "All girls have to do
> is spread their legs, " you have answered your own question as to why you
> are alone.

I have never considered myself a loser either - maybe you should spend a
little time (since you have so much) to work on yourself before asking
someone else to take responsibility for not only your happiness but for your
mental health!

Best of luck,
Shelley

[benjer weigl]

Your not alone, I too am a single male, and it is the ODSP stigma and rules that keep us from finding that partner, I can only speak from my experince. And if finally your luck enough to get a girlfriend. ODSP becomes intrusive to the point of Ontario  Human rights code violation in my opinion, Especially if your partner is not disabled.  Say if  i got a girlfriend and we wanted to move in and she was not disabled, I would have to tell her that okay look if we move in. You will have to follow ODSP and OW rules even though your working and bascailly You are responsible for me. I dont think that would go over well with a potential partner, Just my opinion.  So becasue of the BS that is ODSP , I personally no longer have any hope of finding a true partner. So trust me I can relate to what you are saying

> Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2011 06:12:02 -0700
> Subject: [odspfireside: 40272 ] Odsp dating group
> From: thepat...@gmail.com
> To: odspfi...@googlegroups.com

[Hope]

Hi Patrick,

Great and very poignant post. You have "613" in your username. Are
you from the 613? Where? I'm in Ottawa, specifically Stittsville.

I'd love to get to be your friend.

I'm lonely as hell. It's just me and my 7 birds.

E-mail me today and maybe we can get together soon.

I just quit a bad job. I'll be looking alot for work but I do need a
friend.

Thank you for your honesty.

Check out a photo of me on Twitter at BirdLove36.

You sound awesome.

Hugs,

Melanie

[Wade Suplat]

Well said...

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

You got this all wrong. I never said I was a loser, yet it's what most
people think when your on ODSP for mental disabilities. I was trying
to face a subject that I'm pretty sure affects many people here. I
thought by sharing my own story that I would get to those people.

No, all women have to do is not just spread they're legs. I even said
right before I ain't trying to offend anyone. What I'm saying is that
those girls who would leave a guy for his sexual performance is
shallow. When it comes to intercourse, it's true. Girls don't have to
do much, in fact they could do nothing at all which wouldn't leave
much to pleasure but it won't stop the whole process. I respect women
much more than you imagine. If you can't take something lightly and
realize I'm only stating a point there's nothing I can do about it.
Plus believe me, if I was just looking for sex, I wouldn't be here
talking right now.

And who did I ask about what? Nobody is going to help me. I didn't
come here begging for some help. That was quite an assumption. If you
read the whole thing, at the end it clearly states the exact reason on
which I chose to post this.

I think IT WOULD do allot for people on ODSP to have a friendly group
of some sort. The only groups you see like these are therapy. People
talk about being depressed in therapy. You meet the same people and
share your personal life stories with them until you strip yourself of
your dignity. Also you forget that people who live through similar
situations have good times as well.

On Sep 30, 10:23 am, Shelley Blidner <shelley.blidner...@sympatico.ca>
wrote:

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

That's why you keep everything low key. Avoid talking to ODSP.
Honestly, when I called for help, they never called me back but once.
So don't help them in return. Treat others the way they treat you, not
the other way around, it never works. Believe me I used to treat
people the way I wanted to be treated, and now I'm on ODSP because I
hate myself. As for living with a partner, that is just messed up. I
didn't even know that.

On Sep 30, 10:32 am, benjer weigl <ben.we...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> Your not alone, I too am a single male, and it is the ODSP stigma and rules that keep us from finding that partner, I can only speak from my experince. And if finally your luck enough to get a girlfriend. ODSP becomes intrusive to the point of Ontario  Human rights code violation in my opinion, Especially if your partner is not disabled.  Say if  i got a girlfriend and we wanted to move in and she was not disabled, I would have to tell her that okay look if we move in. You will have to follow ODSP and OW rules even though your working and bascailly You are responsible for me. I dont think that would go over well with a potential partner, Just my opinion.  So becasue of the BS that is ODSP , I personally no longer have any hope of finding a true partner. So trust me I can relate to what you are saying
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2011 06:12:02 -0700
> > Subject: [odspfireside: 40272 ] Odsp dating group

> > From: thepatient...@gmail.com

[justice4odsp]

Patrick,

I wasn't going to jump in at first, but here goes.

Remember that Iceberg theory I talked about in another email? When you assume a woman just has to accept a man doing all the work, it is seen as offensive. I know it's not meant to be, but you have to admit, sex can be a touchy subject these days. You're right though. Sex is not the be all and end all.

Focus on the need for companionship, love, the need for company, another person to help share the day-to-day responsibilities of life and I'm all ears

[corrinna]

I second that.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Wade Suplat" <wsu...@gmail.com>

[abrowne]

Patrick,

The real reason why ODSP recipients cannot find partners

has nothing to do with the disability.  I have many clients

and friends who receive other types of disability, including

CPP-D, WSIB, and LTD, and they partner up just as much

as people without disabilities.

 

It is the ODSP rules that keep people apart.  People do not

want to be burdened with the full support of the whole

household, when nowadays it takes two incomes to support

a family.  There are even problems if there are two people

who are BOTH on ODSP.  They go on one cheque, and there

is only a small difference received than if the cheque recipient

were living alone.

Angela

[Hope]

Reason why I will never marry an ODSP. Forget living on under $1500
for two mouths. It can't be done. I go through that in a month
myself.

Imagine all the arguing over money in an ODSP home. You think high-
income couples argue? Yeah right. ODSP couples would argue who used
the last Kleenex and who gets the last chip in the bag.

Melanie

[Chris Carey]

Patrick,

I can see you struggled over whether to write this post. So, let me tell you thanks for doing so. It took a lot of courage for you to share these very personal details. You have placed a lot of faith and trust in this group and clearly value its feedback.

I think this kind of outreach is something we should all be supporting here. Many of us are deeply isolated. In fact, for some group members this site might represent the most meaningful regular contact in their lives. In the future, lets try to be more open-minded and tolerate of one another. If Patrick expressed himself inartfully, I suspect its only because this subject is a very emotional one for him. I think most women would be trilled to date an emotionally honest and expressive partner, like Patrick.  

As for the respectability of life as an ODSP recipient, I think Patrick's point is an insightful one. Drug dealers in Ontario are often afforded greater respect by some in the public than social assistance recipients. In fact, criminals are commonly idealized in today's popular culture. Last year's movie, The Town, is a good example. 

That being said, Patrick, I think you might want to choose a better class of friends. Dare I say, there are vast segments of the population in this province that will not think less of you for having a legitimate disability. The challenge for you now is to locate them. If you haven't already, join some community based programs for others in similar situations. You'll find there are many good people right in your own community also experiencing loneliness only because they haven't known where to go to meet new people.

Have you ever considered AA? You don't have to be actively using to participate in it's program. AA might be worth considering.

Chris

---

From: "Patrick (thepat...@gmail.com)" <thepat...@gmail.com>
To: ODSP Fireside <odspfi...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Friday, September 30, 2011 9:12 AM

Subject: [odspfireside: 40272 ] Odsp dating group

--
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "ODSP Fireside" group.
To change email delivery, nickname or unsubscribe from this group visit: http://groups.google.ca/group/odspfireside/subscribe?hl=en
To post to this group via email, send email to odspfi...@googlegroups.com

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

''Focus on the need for companionship, love, the need for company,

another person to help share the day-to-day responsibilities of life

and I'm all ears''

Although I may just sound desperate, it's not exactly the case. If it
was just about intercourse, I wouldn't feel this way about things.
Just when you'd think all guys are capable of one night stands, it's
just not true. I had my chances. It's about being comfortable with who
your with. I've seen girls getting passed around like a piece of meat
in my old neighborhood. Not the most attractive thing at all.

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

Some people on ODSP, like my best friend who's going on his 3rd kid at
24 years old, just cannot help being single. They'll take the first
girl that comes by and fall in love with them. Others just go for one
night stands. These are probably the people you're mentioning. Did you
ever ask them to find out? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it's
true.

On Sep 30, 5:06 pm, abrowne <browne200...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Patrick,
> The real reason why ODSP recipients cannot find partners
> has nothing to do with the disability.  I have many clients
> and friends who receive other types of disability, including
> CPP-D, WSIB, and LTD, and they partner up just as much
> as people without disabilities.
>  
> It is the ODSP rules that keep people apart.  People do not
> want to be burdened with the full support of the whole
> household, when nowadays it takes two incomes to support
> a family.  There are even problems if there are two people
> who are BOTH on ODSP.  They go on one cheque, and there
> is only a small difference received than if the cheque recipient
> were living alone.
> Angela
>

> ________________________________
> From: "Patrick (thepatient...@gmail.com)" <thepatient...@gmail.com>

[Louisemaria Roux]

Well here is my 2cents worth...

Yes it might seem on the surface that all they have to do is just open thier legs. but woman do pay a bigger price a

much bigger price. Firstly we don't get the pleasure that you guys do....not by a very very long shot that is for sure! I would go further and state that for me and many other woman its work, pain and not a lot of pleasure at all. woman only do it for a reason. men just need a place. We have to worry about bladder infections, pain, pregnancy, diseases etc. I don't believe that a woman would leave a man for his preformance. I think the opposite is true. Men will leave woman if they don't get thier sex. Woman will have sex mostly for love and money. And since you being on odsp don't have money...that leave love and trust me that is what woman are looking for. A woman will leave a man if she doesn't feel loved. I was and still am in love with an impotent man....well probably because he is impotent as I find it is painful. But have had the same and even better time......if you are in love with someone you will find a way.

Louise

 

From: "Patrick (thepat...@gmail.com)" <thepat...@gmail.com>
To: ODSP Fireside <odspfi...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Friday, September 30, 2011 1:13:49 PM
Subject: [odspfireside: 40280 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[Margaret]

Speak for yourself ..... I get a lot of pleasure from sex! If you are experiencing pain, see your doctor as something is wrong.       -------Original Message-------

[Julie]

For someone who is upset that others aren't treating you right, perhaps you should be little kinder to your fellow ODSPers. I know a couple on ODSP who just celebrated their 23rd anniversary and their marriage is as strong as ever.     -------Original Message-------

--

[justice4odsp]

I'm single because I could never bring myself around to full sex right away. I am one who believes in getting to know the person, their personality, and having a common bond. If we have nothing in common or the focus is only on sex, then I'm gone. That's why I'm in my 50's and still single.

It's hard to meet people when you're dirt poor. I would love to join the Y and do exercise with a group... I can join the Y, but I can't join the exercise groups. I can join the therapeutic exercise group in the pool, but there's no accessible change room to shower and get dressed in, after it's over.  Why they would do a major renovation of 2 swimming pools and create no accessible change rooms with showers is beyond me, but they did.  When I complain and ask for accommodation I got told to do like everyone else - put my clothes on over my wet bathing suit, go home, and get showered and dressed there. I thought they were kidding until I saw a bunch of disabled children and adults leave a specialized program and doing just that. I gather their parents and support agency supports this idea. 

There are lots of things to join - if you have money (although a lot of places that interest me are free) and if it is wheelchair accessible. That's the key bugaboo for me. Everything I'm interested in joining is not wheelchair accessible... Cafe Church, the Adult Music Program at LaSalle Secondary School, the Women's Drop-in Centre, the Friendship Centre, CFRC Radio (where I'm an official volunteer and can no longer get in the building until they buy their special piece of equipment). The one I miss the most is the radio station.  I was going in there until the top brass at Queen's University stopped me. They had liability concerns. A piece of equipment will be purchased, but the bureaucratic red tape at Queen's to get the funding approved and then the equipment ordered, is insane.  The station manager regrets ever applying to get decent accommodation put in. They were getting 3 people together to carry me in - i.e. pop me in a wheelie and roll my manual chair down the steps.  When she asked for the funding and they found out I was being taken in, I was instantly banned.

So yes, we all need to be a part of things and there are lots of things out there, but when you want to join things that are a) affordable and b) wheelchair accessible, the options can quickly drop to zero.  That's what I miss the most... the human contact in all the things I used to take part in before I had to start using a wheelchair..

It really hurts to be told that you're banned because they might get sued.  I can't even sign a waiver. I won't get hurt if they're sensible about what they put in. The thing is, it's a convenient way to get out of making the appropriate accommodations.  By the way, the excuses I get for the lack of a ramp is either, the city won't approve it (or is taking too long) or the insurance company will cut off  my insurance if I provide a portable ramp (or let you use the portable ramp you bring along to accommodate yourself). It hurts to the core. Hence the reason why I don't get many opportunities to meet other people.

By the way, I still find things to do, but there's no continuity to what I do, and it is frustrating as hell to have to do so much extra work to find things to do. What I find to do is generally in Toronto and, to me, that is ridiculous. However, by doing things in Toronto it keeps me busy and sane. Doing nothing will drop me into a depression in no time, and I refuse to go there. One day I'll write a book about the insane effects of barriers and the indirect effects of exclusion. It makes life exciting, makes me extremely different (almost bordering on eccentric) because I don't care what people think anymore - I'm going to live my life and enjoy it. If that means doing things that look off the beaten track (like jumping off curbs or peeing in bushes because there's no alternative) then so be it. Fix the accessibility, stop the discrimination, include me, and I will quickly return to "normal" again.

justice4odsp

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

That's pretty insightful. As for women not getting as much pleasure
form sex, I'd say it's arguable. Girls, unlike men, aren't straight
forward. It does not mean they cannot experience pleasure. Needless to
say a man only gets one orgasm.

On Oct 1, 3:22 am, Louisemaria Roux <verynicelad...@yahoo.ca> wrote:
> Well here is my 2cents worth...
> Yes it might seem on the surface that all they have to do is just open thier legs. but woman do pay a bigger price a
> much bigger price. Firstly we don't get the pleasure that you guys do....not by a very very long shot that is for sure! I would go further and state that for me and many other woman its work, pain and not a lot of pleasure at all. woman only do it for a reason. men just need a place. We have to worry about bladder infections, pain, pregnancy, diseases etc. I don't believe that a woman would leave a man for his preformance. I think the opposite is true. Men will leave woman if they don't get thier sex. Woman will have sex mostly for love and money. And since you being on odsp don't have money...that leave love and trust me that is what woman are looking for. A woman will leave a man if she doesn't feel loved. I was and still am in love with an impotent man....well probably because he is impotent as I find it is painful. But have had the same and even better time......if you are in love with someone you will find a way.
> Louise
>  
>

> ________________________________
> From: "Patrick (thepatient...@gmail.com)" <thepatient...@gmail.com>

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

First of all, thanks for your support. You are wise. Truly the only
person who understood the deep meaning behind my post.

About the part where I struggled whether to write this post or not,
you where right. I could've written it differently which is what I
almost did. Of course, not every day is a bad day. In fact, my life is
starting to look up.

I just know that I'm not the only one thinking this way. I was seeking
those who can relate. By writing something simple, you don't reach out
others like you do when it's personal.

I am content with the amount of friends that I have. I wouldn't mind
meeting an interesting person or two for a change, or finding a few
friends to go out sometimes. Honestly, If I knew that I could meet
girls within my own circle, I doubt I'd be thinking about making new
friends. I'm generally a quiet person, I don't always feel comfortable
around a group of people. Unless I know them of course.

I used to help sometimes at the Capital City Mission (not to be
confused with the Mission) during food bank hours. I was friends with
the staff. It felt good, but it's not a place where I could've made
friends my age. AA would be a terrible choice. The idea is good but
note that I am an Atheist, therefore I'm not even allowed in the
group. The worst part is I know AA would be more likely to bring back
my alcoholic tendencies rather than me being in control.

Can you suggest for people my age, where I could make friends as well?
I'm 22 right now.

I would absolutely love to join the Masons. Do you know if there's
groups in Ottawa for younger people? Also it seems very opened about
how one may believe in God. I think that "God" is the power within us
and all that surrounds us. I don't see that necessarily being a higher
form, but rather just "IT" and everything.

[fubbage]

Interesting thread.

The last two girls I dated (and briefly) each knew my situation and
were in similar ones themselves. The last time I went out with someone
with little or no knowledge of what we are experiencing was 10 years
ago, and I got dumped for not being "goal oriented" (translation:
don't have any money).

I simply have no idea how to meet women outside of the "ODSP
circle" (for lack of a better term) when I have no money. I have no
idea how to explain why I'm not working full time. I probably wouldn't
say I'm on ODSP, and that I'm trying to get by on a part-time job, but
that's not appealing to the vast majority of women, and even if I did
connect with someone, what happens if we decide to move in together
and I have to tell her, look the gov't expects you to be my sugar
mama. The house of cards comes crashing down, methinks.

Even in Toronto, most of the drop-in centres are filled with either
individuals older than 40, or post-adolescents. It is extremely hard
to even find friends, never mind romance, in the 25-35 age group. Too
many community groups are for women only, and obviously I won't meet a
partner at one of the few designed for males only.

As for AA or NA, if you're an atheist like me & the original poster,
and not a user, there's really no fit there.

I will say this: I know it's hard to be lonely, and to be single in a
couples' world can certainly be challenging. If you can get to the
root causes of your anxiety instead of attributing it mainly to being
single, you may start to feel a lot better, which in itself is key to
meeting someone. It is a paradox wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in an
enigma, though, don't get me wrong.

We get depressed because we're lonely.
We're lonely because we're depressed.

Ignore the platitudes, find out what works best for YOU, if you'll
pardon the irony.

[abrowne]

That's interesting Julie, but I would say they are probably both on

ODSP, which tends to work out a bit better than one on and the

other not.  A few people are happy even if they live well below poverty,

but most people aren't like that.  When the mix is one working or

even worse, self-employed, and the other disabled, it is BAD ... I

can't in my heart leave him, although we did split up numerous times

before, but I know it won't solve anything.  First, it is not my husband's

fault that ODSP is so twisted and punitive; second, when we last split

in the 1990's, they made him sue me for support - half my income, so

living together or apart, I still have to subsidize him for life.  THAT

has to change ... 

I see about 95% of these relationships ending up split up.  Very few

of the couples I knew where one worked and the other didn't last.

But a few double disabled couples do last and what tends to stress

them is the stress of the disabilities each have; like one split up I knew

involved one half of the couple having bipolar disorder and the other

having arthritis, heart, etc. (physical health issues), and this relationship

couldn't handle the strain of this woman's constant mood changes,

flirting with others, etc.

In short, it largely depends on the people involved.

Angela

---

From: Julie <nnon...@gmail.com>
To: odspfi...@googlegroups.com
Sent: Saturday, October 1, 2011 10:38:29 AM
Subject: Re: [odspfireside: 40300 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[anarchris]

boy just when you think you've finally uncovered how bad it all is,
it's always worse.
that they would not only make it even harder to find and keep a
spouse for the natural right to love and companionship but also make
them sue eachother is evil.
nrx

> in the 1990's, they made him sue me for support - half my income, so
> living together or apart, I still have to subsidize him for life.  

> In short, it largely depends on the people involved.
> Angela
>
> ________________________________

> From: Julie <nnone...@gmail.com>

[abrowne]

Their logic for this is this:

When you get ODSP, it is supposed to be the income of

LAST RESORT and you are supposed to try to get

income from all other sources, such as as CPP-D,

WSIB, as well as SPOUSAL SUPPORT.  Be very

careful if you wish to get engaged or live with a

"common law" spouse for any length of time..

My husband was working when I met him and I was

a student, then he became a student and after I finished

being a student, I kept working and later he couldn't work.

We split up several times then because my income was

not high enough to support both of us.

But later my income was then very good and I wasn't worried.

Later still, I got bullied out of a very good job, ending up without 

any work and because of the bullying got sick.  I soon after

lost my driver's license which makes finding any work

difficult.  I interviewed for jobs paying $100K or more, but

once they found out I could not drive, I was forgotten.

My only choice was to be self-employed and the way

ODSP treats self-employment, including that of the

spouses, is absolutely horrific.  A letter to my paper got

published yesterday, telling voters to ask if their candidate

truly supports entrepreneurs, and if they do, fix ODSP.

Angela

---

From: anarchris <abolish...@yahoo.ca>
To: ODSP Fireside <odspfi...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 1, 2011 3:01:55 PM
Subject: [odspfireside: 40308 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[Deborah Masters nee Alexander]

To the patie...@gmail.com
I am not sure why religious affiliation would make a difference when joining AA???  I know of a person who joined AA many years ago and attends all the meetings within a 30 mile radius.  He attends meetings 3-4 times weekly even though he has not had a drinking problem for many years.  He is on ODSP as well and I think he uses the meetings more as a social aspect. 
I hope this helps

See Yah, So Long,

DEB

> Date: Sat, 1 Oct 2011 08:31:43 -0700
> Subject: [odspfireside: 40304 ] Re: Odsp dating group
> From: thepat...@gmail.com
> To: odspfi...@googlegroups.com
>
>
>
>
>
>

> AA would be a terrible choice. The idea is good but
> note that I am an Atheist, therefore I'm not even allowed in the
> group. The worst part is I know AA would be more likely to bring back
> my alcoholic tendencies rather than me being in control.
>
>
>
>

[Deborah Masters nee Alexander]

Hi there:  Will try to debate this again.  I was 33 years old when I met my hubby.  I had been totally employable and worked in many offices for large electronic firm with over 200 salaried employees and worked for a OBGYN (gynecologist).  I had been in mostly long term relationships 2 years or more and met my now hubby at a singles dance and was totally smitten with him.  I have to be totally honest I did have reservations and discussed with my mom how I met this great guy however he was on "ODSP" and had no money.  My mom explained to me there are more things in life than money.
Though we do not have alot of money we have become totally efficient upcyclers and are both quite creative.  Simple things are still important in life and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.  For the single young people on ODSP here there is hope and people do cross paths when it is meant to be.  Never give up
My hubby and I have been together for 18 years now.  Though it is still not appealing to my side of the family(you know the money is not everything side) so what you have to live your own life and fly the nest.  You do not need anyones approval to fall in love.

See Yah, So Long,

DEB

> Date: Sat, 1 Oct 2011 10:53:54 -0700
> Subject: [odspfireside: 40306 ] Re: Odsp dating group
> From: yhish...@hotmail.com
> To: odspfi...@googlegroups.com
>
> Interesting thread.

>
>
> ago, and I got dumped for not being "goal oriented" (translation:
> don't have any money).
>
> I simply have no idea how to meet women outside of the "ODSP
> circle" (for lack of a better term) when I have no money.
>

>the 25-35 age group. Too
> many community groups are for women only, and obviously I won't meet a
> partner at one of the few designed for males only.
>
> As for AA or NA, if you're an atheist like me & the original poster,
> and not a user, there's really no fit there.
>
> I will say this: I know it's hard to be lonely, and to be single in a
> couples' world can certainly be challenging. If you can get to the
> root causes of your anxiety instead of attributing it mainly to being
> single, you may start to feel a lot better, which in itself is key to
> meeting someone. It is a paradox wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in an
> enigma, though, don't get me wrong.
>
> We get depressed because we're lonely.
> We're lonely because we're depressed.
>
> Ignore the platitudes, find out what works best for YOU, if you'll
> pardon the irony.
>

[Bill Higgs]

I have had many posts thrown back at me in the past as "not ODSP related"
How on earth is a discussion about sex and sexual performance etc, ODSP
related?????

that being said, Of course the government wants us to remain single, They
cant lose.

1. If you meet someone who is employed and works. You wont be eliglble for
ODSP.

2. if you are unhappy being single, maybe you will push harder to be
employed and leave ODSP

3. if you are unhappy and depressed because of loneliness and isolation,
maybe you will consider suicide and be off ODSP

Seems obvious to me current policies are designed with the above in mind and
not likely to change.

They are not interested in our happiness or mental well being.

Bill

----- Original Message -----
From: "fubbage" <yhish...@hotmail.com>
To: "ODSP Fireside" <odspfi...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Saturday, October 01, 2011 1:53 PM
Subject: [odspfireside: 40306 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[Patrick (thepatient613@gmail.com)]

The AA is a BAD organisation. First of all, they claim to be NON-
religious. You MUST believe in a higher form of power, and call him
GOD. All AA is is money wasted. I wasn't going to go into these
details but now I feel like I must.
They do not help people quit drinking. Those who wan't to quit
drinking quit drinking. The percentage of people on AA who have quit
is the same as the percentage of people who have quit on they're own.
AA is just there to make you think you're powerless without the help
of God. It's one of the first things it teaches you.

Watch this and let me know what you think:
http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/player/megavideo.php?id=7R45YZ6E

On Oct 1, 4:59 pm, Deborah Masters nee Alexander
<adorabl...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> To the patient...@gmail.com

> I am not sure why religious affiliation would make a difference when joining AA???  I know of a person who joined AA many years ago and attends all the meetings within a 30 mile radius.  He attends meetings 3-4 times weekly even though he has not had a drinking problem for many years.  He is on ODSP as well and I think he uses the meetings more as a social aspect.  
> I hope this helps
>
> See Yah, So Long,
>

> DEB
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > Date: Sat, 1 Oct 2011 08:31:43 -0700
> > Subject: [odspfireside: 40304 ] Re: Odsp dating group

> > From: thepatient...@gmail.com

[aline legault]

Hello

my opinion only...

we need to consider those who are against any program

and the programs themselves...

I am on ODSP

I am alive and rejoicing that I have a little income

what would I be without it?

and a place to live...although it is Housing...

thankful for an end unit where it is quiet with a field beside me..

I am also thankful for all the help AA has given me...

where I would be without it would be unquestionably devastating.

I spent 6 months on a 12 step program,

meeting once a wk, as well as once a wk with the leaders, husband and wife team.

yes, being ill, older, disabled, on ODSP, poor it would be easy to walk with my head down day after day. Especially when I need to contact ODSP. My heart beats hard, I fear the outcome, but imagine if I had not had this help from AA.

I was not abusing alcohol but am a co-dependant, one there said with a capital C... yes, and still have to rethink my thoughts and actions.

and without the help who have recovered and come to the meetings to help those who are crying for help and some are suicidal let me tell you; where one can get a personal caring soul to help them through whatever it is they're 'stuck', and a helping hand, where would some of us be??

The help they give is immeasurable and priceless.

I would even go so far as to say it is needed even to just speak with ODSP sometimes... 

Sure you can 'dry up' without AA but most become 'dry alkies'

Rethinking and accept a new value on life and yourself sure makes a big difference.

but apart from being opiniated here, I ask all who read the post against AA need to do their own analysis and decide for themselves.

I am a small and unimportant person now on ODSP, no longer the designer, drafts'woman', etc etc I was...but am a person of value to the One that matters!!

I had been a Christian for 10 years before my time with AA,

and I became even more alive then, imagine! I found I am an important contribution in life, I now am whom I was intended to be!!!

This is my personal testimony to AA..

thank you for hearing me out.

  

Aline
have a blessed day

---

From: "Patrick (thepat...@gmail.com)" <thepat...@gmail.com>
To: ODSP Fireside <odspfi...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Sunday, October 2, 2011 9:14:57 AM
Subject: [odspfireside: 40325 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[Michael Bird]

Hi Aline….. excellent post and thank you for sharing…..

cheers, Mike

On Sun, Oct 2, , aline wrote:

Hello

my opinion only...

we need to consider those who are against any program

and the programs themselves...

This is my personal testimony to AA..

thank you for hearing me out.

  

Aline
have a blessed day

---

From: "Patrick 

The AA is a BAD organisation.

You might have to click on 'show quoted text'  to see complete email.

" you are made of the same stuff that love is "  Pier GDC



[Margaret]

I know people who got sober because of AA. Please do not smear it.       -------Original Message-------

From: Patrick (thepat...@gmail.com) Date: 10/02/11 09:20:14 To: ODSP Fireside Subject: [odspfireside: 40325 ] Re: Odsp dating group

[Gilbert]

On Sep 30, 9:12 am, "Patrick (thepatient...@gmail.com)"

<thepatient...@gmail.com> wrote:
> This is so important to me. I still don't know what to write.
>
> I'm going to forget about it and just say it straight forward.

I am disgusted on a regular basis to see "attacks" or negativity at a
poster - on a SUPPORT board.

I think this should be followed up on in a seperate discussion. I hope
those able to, will do this.

Gilbert.