A note :)

[Sabrina Modder]

Hello Everyone!

What a trip. This past month and a bit has been a surreal whirlwind to say the least! We built a mini-society in about a month. We built it from the ground up. Beautiful, and effective structures like the saturated Education Station; I regret that I was always running around site, like a chicken with no head, and so didn't give myself nearly enough time to really injest materials here. The visibly organized info booth, and such friendly faces like Thomas, Joel... and LJ, whom I miss and I hope she is alright. All of you in info tent did such an amazing job. I love you. Hot water for tea; The generous, smiling and ever pleasant faces at Food - such hard workers. And providing nourishment to the souls. The contributions that came in. Prayer circles, Telkwa's voice. Tent City and their endurance and flexibility. My respect goes to those folks. To be on the ground like that everyday; to make it work in a safe way... I have so much admiration for the dedication you all have in looking after each other. Thank you for giving us a face.

It's funny that from now on, the Art Gallery has changed for me. Forever. I have a membership! I will never enter the grounds in the same way. What happened there, was something so touching. We each connected. Even if we fought, even if we were frustrated, I believe that there was always a sense of comraderie one way or the other. Despite differences, it was easy to see into everyones hearts. Regardless of tactics, regardless of temepraments.

Enter the morning, sunny days. Alive, someone on stage. People scattering about, alive. Talking. Meeting. Process. Talking, meeting, process... exhausting. I would come in from North Burnaby (that's where I live!) with intentions of staying on site for a couple hours - and would always be drawn in for more like 6-7. Yeah, big deal. I know a lot of you are on site for WAAAAAAAAAAAY longer than that on a daily basis. Again, I have to serve out my due propers to those of you that man/woman the media tent endlessly. I slept there once. I didn't really like it. Shawn from Tent City made fun of my '1% Laugh' once, after I'd reported I would be sleeping on a cot. We have cots in the media tent!!?? Haha.

Can you believe our Medical Tent? Another brilliant group of collaborative team players. Saving lives and shit. On a dime. And always pleasant faces here, too.

I'm not sure if everyone would agree with me, but it's the Jason Wettstein's, Greg Ranouf's, David Beattie's, and all the other outspoken minds that really made this exciting for me!! There are ton more out there, people I have spoken to onsite, that just have so much to say. Dude. It's these interactions with characters that gives me my reason for being. Never forget the mystery/magic of an uncommon mind! To be thrown into this mix of random thought, and try to make sense of it is, simply put: Bonkers. I questioned my sanity a number of times, being involved in such a volatile collective.

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I am stepping back. No, not because I think it's crazy. But because I just don't have the capacity to continue putting as much energy as I have been. I run a home-based creative studio. I SHOULD be working full-time ;) But definitely put that side of life on hold the past month. I am tired. I know you all are. And if it wasn't for a certain life experience I had 2 years ago, I'd probably continue. I battled breast cancer and came out of the whole chemo/radiation trip last year. I know this is not a unique situation, so please bare with me - I am not putting this out as a sympathy card. Rather, this taught me that I really do need to take care of my body. Eat properly, exercise, meditate, live a balanced life with laughter and selflessness. I had been overworking myself this past month - with the full time and Occupy. I lost weight, I wasn't eating right. Not sleeping. My body deserves better. Essentially, I never want to get sick again. Part of that is dependent on me taking care of myself.

Please look after yourselves; we're not very helpful once we're dead. Or... I don't know that's probably arguable with some... science types ;)

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Anyway, I hope to have been of some sort of benefit in the group. If I was more instrumental in making a mess, my apologies. My intentions were good. I am not a sabateur, agent provactive or whatever. I only mentioned a couple names here, but I could list a fuckin' hundred that changed my perceptions of life, that changed my heart in and of itself. Writing this has been a tear jerker! I hope that I am allowed to contact anyone I have met here, even if I am not as proactive on a daily basis with the core Occupy Vancouver collective - whatever that means.

I will continue to learn, and educate and talk about the things that are important to me. I will continue to pursue groups with similar goals as mine, and will collaborate my efforts with them in every small way I can in order to affect change. I've learned a great deal about patience and open-mindedness through this journey. I humbly thank anyone that has taken the time to share their views or stories with me. I believe Occupy to be an empowering experience for all.

Please, if you are ever need some creative assistance, call me! I am still here as much as I can be.

Anyway, I'm rambling. But in a nutshell, I'm gonna' take some real pearls of wisdom from 'The Rock' (of TV wrestling fame) who said 'Know Your Role' (Insert stupid laugh here). I'm gonna' move around where I'm needed, without exhausting myself, or biting off more than I can chew. I really love all of you. What a wonder to have been alive for this!

Thank you so much for everything you all have given me.

Lots of Love and Blessings.
Sabrina.