Not 2003
Craig Young
the cola with a whiplash.
March: David Herkt signed for twinkies contract, but is disappointed when he
realises it's small sweet succulent sugary cakes, not small young sweet
succulent men that are being advertised.
April: JohnM falls in love with Joe Orton zombie, but is annoyed when an
interfering no-good moralist limits him to the living. Discovers some
interesting aspects about certain dimensions of Christopher Marlowe's
(ahem)...oeuvre...when rooting around in Deptford.
May: Jonnie is honoured at a Queens Birthday do in Brizbania. Unfortunately,
he narrowly escapes being crushed when Linda La Huges (from Gimme Gimme Gimme)
jumps out of the cake and causes massive concussion to everyone watching. Is
glad to be gay.
June: Squirrel finds a rich Californian sugar mommie, Alexis Colby Carrington
Dexter Muffin the Mule, who dies after her facelift collapses, leaving her
with both grrls from tATu.
July: Rosie lands a lucrative book contract for the "Many Loves of Katherine
Mansfield" although she objects to the cruelty to harpsichords in the cinematic
version.
August: Deborah walks around with a smirk on her face when the entire membership
of the noxious Affirm group are stricken with a plague of turkeys, bad karaoke,
seventies fashion disasters, disco and other dreadful diseases too horrid to
mention on this newsgroup.
September: Nut's "Ask Pussy" advice colum in Up is syndicated. Does the queercat
diva let fame and fortune corrupt her? Oh please, she's corrupt enough already.
October: HRH Calum Queen of Te Aro, Vinegar Hill and Surrounding Environs
is most satisfied when the evil David Lame implodes due to being horridly
anal.
November: JohnM becomes notorious after a pleasant interlude with a balalaika*
(*well-hung but himboish Russian Red Army soldier) while visiting Moscow.
December: Hugh Young is declared a heritage site and becomes just as beloved of
the general public as he is of NZ queerdom in general
Craig