I tried to do this in WIndows. And the result is:
solution 1. Using V8 native addon to call the WinAPI (ITaskBarList3 interface to call SetOverlayIcon)
solution 2. Using another process to call ITaskBarList3 ::SetOverlayIcon to taskbar of our program.
Both of these solutions don't work, because the hWnd in setOverlayIcon need to get from the main process. (Windows made this rule, don't know why, but the other functions (for. ex. ITaskBarList3 ::SetProcessState) works normally for these solutions.
So the last solution is rebuild node-webkit from scratch and add this function into main process nw.exe. Or we will wait the NW team to add this feature.