Taliban?
Balo
one of them sent this.
"You may be a Taliban, if..."
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't
afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
Bertram Ulv�y
wrote in no.kultur.humor
>The US troops in Afghanistan proved they have retained their sense of humor,
>one of them sent this.
>"You may be a Taliban, if..."
On the other hand, you have different fingers ...
- If I Were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer:
Good evening my fellow Americans.
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and
all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured
that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of
our country will be done.
This is the greatest country in the world and we will get through this
trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty
differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the
fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this: Are you
fucking kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight?
Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are
fucking with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we shoot at each
other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new targets for our
aggression. Have you forgotten history?
What happened to the last people that started fucking around with us?
Remember the little yellow bastards over in Japan? We slapped them all
over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own back
yard. That's what we in America call a big ass barbecue.
Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why it's so big? Because we wanted
it that way, Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they
cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing.
Ask your buddy Saddam about fucking with the good 'ole USA. The only
reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard to shoot
someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers aren't
trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he couldn't stop a pack
of cub scouts from taking over his shitty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and
try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or a mountain
high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses safe. We will
bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps and any place
that looks and even smells like he was there.
Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off
in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead
and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry
asses.
God bless America!
<http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2003/04/you_may_be_a_re.html>
--