Too Much Praise Can Turn Your Kids Into Narcissistic Jerks, Study Finds

[Yah Everybody Gets A Trophy Even The Losers]

Make your kid believe he’s a “special snowflake” and you risk
turning him into a narcissistic jerk, according to a new Dutch
study.

Narcissistic individuals think they’re better than everyone
else, live for personal success and expect exceptional
treatment, explained the authors of the study that appeared in
the latest issue of the journal Proceedings of the National
Academy of Sciences. When narcissists experience failure,
they’re not pleasant to be around, sometimes even lashing out
violently, the study notes.

The study evaluated 565 Dutch children ages 7 through 12 for
narcissist tendencies such as feelings of superiority and self-
satisfaction. The investigators also questioned the children’s
parents about how, when and how often they offered praise and
other feedback.

The kids whose parents consistently told them they were superior
to other children, no matter what, scored higher on measurements
for narcissism compared to kids who were given a more realistic
view of themselves, the investigators found. That’s because over-
praising children can lead them to believe they are special
people who deserve special treatment all the time, explained
Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at
Ohio State University and one of the study’s authors.

“Parents should be warm and loving, but not give their child
blanket praise,” Bushman said. “We should not boost self-esteem
and hope our children will behave well. Instead, we should
praise our children after they do well.”

Dr. Gene Beresin, the executive director of Massachusetts
General Hospital’s Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, said he
was skeptical about some of the study’s conclusions.

“In the first place, parents are just one influence on a child,”
he said. “Teachers, peers, siblings and many others influence
how a child feels about themselves and how they behave towards
others.”

Beresin said American children are not necessarily the same as
Dutch children. But what concerned him most is the age of the
children in the study.

“I don’t see how you can label kids this young as narcissistic
when it’s generally recognized that such personality traits
aren’t fully formed until late adolescence, like around age 18,”
he said.

Beresin said parents who build a bond of trust with their
children by giving them honest feedback mixed with encouragement
and support help build a child’s self-esteem and security.
Positive feedback, as long as it’s accurate and appropriate, can
only help boost a child’s self-worth, he said.

But the investigators said their work builds on a body of
research that shows parental “overvaluation” leads to narcissism
later in life because children tend to see themselves as the
important people in their lives see them. The researchers didn’t
rule out the effects of other influences like genetics but said
previous work shows that cultivating an unreasonably confident
view of self is at the core of narcissism.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=29506856