Dear Old Dad Ukulele

[Sara Legath]

DearUkulele Psychologist,

I want to remove the strap button on my soprano ukulele. The button is a terrible eyesore. It is unnecessary and the look of it greatly upsets me. What would be the best remedy to treat the hole made by the button?

Dear Hung,

You can use peanut butter to fill up the hole, that way you can always have a snack if you get hungry. If you have a peanut allergy, you can try using a mushroom instead. At any rate, you should stop obsessing over it. Focus on the music and on enhancing your ukulele skills. Good luck and happy strumming.

Dear Fan,

Easy! Make a deal with your sister. Tell her that if she refrains from playing or speaking about her ukulele during the duration of her visit, that you will buy her a tenor Kamaka as soon as the visit ends. I assure you that she will not stay for very long. Make sure that you keep your end of the bargain though. She is after all your sister. By the way, your aversion to the ukulele is pathological. You should seek counselling as soon as possible. My colleague Mrs. Zarnicky, is available for this sort of thing and she is currently accepting new clients. Here is a link to her contact information: -2/mrs-zarnicky/

Dear Ukulele Psychologist,

I recently got together with a friend who sings and plays the guitar and stupidly, thinking she knew what she was doing, I allowed her to tune my ukulele to her guitar. The disastrous result is that my A string is totally out of key and I cannot get it back to normal. Hence I will not be able to practice. Do you think I will have to buy a new ukulele? Please let me know since the sound of my uke is now horrific.

Hanging by an A string

Dear Hanging,

Buying a new ukulele especially a tenor with a low G tuning, is always a good idea. Never let a guitarist touch your ukulele. These people often suffer from GAS (Guitar Acquisition Syndrome) and are therefore quite unpredictable. Though a ukulele and a guitar have different tunings, you can certainly both play together. Each musician will use the chord shapes and tunings unique to their respective instruments. You must however, maintain your GCEA tuning. Retune and you should be fine.

Good luck and happy strumming

Dear Rhino,

I am truly sorry but you have one of the worst cases of musical snobbery I have ever seen. The close-mindedness of your letter suggests that you are a violist but your willingness to try the kazoo indicates that there is still some hope left for you. My advice is to listen to some of the great ukulele masters. You can easily find them on the internet. You might also visit a ukulele club. I am sure that the people there would be happy to give you some personal instruction. They will also encourage you to sing along with them. Practice singing and you will find that your kazoo skills will improve greatly. I know that you will find it difficult but try to keep an open mind.

Good luck.

Dear Ukulele Psychologist :

I am wondering if this is a real letter, or you are just stringing us along. I liked your advice regarding the Ukulele Abuser.

As a beginner, I never realized as I became acquainted with the Ukulele, that it could have such a profound impact on peoples lives.

So far I only know 2-3 chords, I can only imagine what can happen when I know 6.

Ben

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In this instalment of our series, Dear Diary: In a Time of COVID-19, Karen Pollock tells us about learning the ukulele and how it's helping her stay connected with her father. This submission has been edited for clarity and length.

I am an optimistic girl and I always try my best. In my sapre time, may stay in my room, listening to my CDs, playing an instrument, reading a novel or watching a movie. I also go out with friends. I often bicycle in the city, eat snacks , go swimming and try something new.I love various music genres, such as pop, rock, R&B and so on. I am keen on playing the piano. I have tried ukulele and flute, too. But I am not proficient at them. Would you like to try Chinese cuisine made by me?

Thank you for hosting me in your family and I am excited that I am about to spend one year with you in America! I have pictured the new life over and over again. I believe we can get along with each other well.

I am a fifteen-year-old girl. I come from a beautiful place which is known for pandas and delicious cuisine.My family like traveling. On weekends, we sometimes watch a movie or go bike-riding together. Besides, there are two cute dogs in my home, which were adopted by me from stray dogs.

I am optimistic. Although sometimes I may feel sad, I can cheer myself up and never give in. I am also kind. I treat everyone around me politely and nicely and I have got many friends. I donated some clothes and books to kids who lived in poverty or in the orphanage.

I love various music genres, such as pop, rock, R&B and so on. I am keen on playing the piano. I have learned it since I was 6. I have tried ukulele and flute, too. But I am not proficient at them.

Mountain climbing and hiking are my favorite sports. I prefer slower-paced exercise and I like enjoying picturesque scenery.

As a new member of your family, I hope that we can get on well with each other and become good friends. Would you like to try Sichuan cuisine made by me? Let me cook some for you---you will like it.

We are a family of three. Every family member's ideas are respected, so we are not only her parents, but also her friends. On weekends, we go to the movies, take the dog for a walk, visit the elderly at home, and enjoy the food. During the winter and summer vacations, we will arrange tours.

She has a lot of hobbies. She loves music, plays the piano well, and has a little ukulele. She likes photography and has a strong sense of imagery. She likes to watch movies, and her favorite is science fiction and magic films, like "Interstellar", "The Lord of the Rings", etc. She loves to climb mountains and hike, not afraid of long distances, close to nature.

She is a friendly, caring person. Because he treats people sincerely and values friendship, he is loved by teachers and classmates at school. She also loves small animals and has a strong affection for the two stray dogs that our family has adopted. When she is at home, she plays with the dog, bathes and feeds it.

Overall, our child is self-disciplined, optimistic and caring, and I hope that you can also like her, and sincerely hope that through her life and learning experience, our two families will gain friendship.

Best,

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