Japan Facebook Dating

[Marquez Feliciano]

Datinga Japanese guy2009/12/11 12:58 I went on a date with him couple of days ago. He told me to meet up with him and he picked me up with his car.

He was well-prepared for our date. We had dinner, went grocery shopping and saw a movie together. In the movie theater, it took me a few times to get him to touch me because he was quite shy. When he finally held my hand and caressed me, I was delighted. But I don't know if it means anything in the Japanese culture.

After the movie ended, it was pass midnight and he drove me home. I reached for his hand and he held it once again. I even asked him if he wanted to go out again. He replied yes but when I asked him when, he said he doesn't know so I'm a bit skeptical. When he dropped me off after a 30 minute drive, I gave him a hug and peck on the lips but there was no response from him. He didn't kiss me back or hug me back. I couldn't tell if he was shock or now.

So I really don't know if he was comfortable with me. I asked if it was okay with him and he kept saying "Ya." Do you think I've crossed the line with him?

I texted him to thank him that same night and he texted me back saying "Thank you. It was fun."

Now it has been a few days and I texted him a few times asking how he was doing. all I got back from him was two texts. One of them said. "Yes. You are free in the mornings right?"

So I am hoping he was interested but I really don't know cos' I haven't heard from him since and it has been a few days.

by yumirikku87

these guys2009/12/11 19:16 Some guys like to hold out on girls so as to not appear deserate. One thing that makes an impression is goin to the market on a date. What's the story behind that one? Maybe he is interested but just wanted to talk to you a bit before making any small decisions. Especially going to the market on a date. Whenever I did that with my girlfriend It was to relax in a neutral environment.by tom johnsonrate this post as useful

my investigation/ his back story2009/12/11 20:58 The story behind this guy is a bit complicated. I met him a couple of months back. I asked him out first and we went out on a date. That date wasn't as great as this one because I guess he was a little bit shy around me and wasn't used to me yet.

The funny thing was that I have him as a Facebook friend and someone posted on his wall around his birthday mentioning that he should have fun with X on his birthday. X is the name of a girl. From that clue, I found out more about him.

Facebook is a valuable resource nowadays.

I clicked on that said girl's profile and found a picture of him and read on her blog that was written a year ago about how he prepared a birthday surprise party for her.

Then there was candid moments of them together at the birthday party along with their friends.

At the moment, I was a bit shocked at the info I found just over the internet and a little bit upset because I really did like this guy. I figured the best way for me was to just get myself out of the situation.

I wrote him an email saying telling him that I understood everything and that he should've told me the truth.

That was about three months ago. And now, about three weeks ago, while he was on a business trip in Japan, he finally wrote me an email apologizing for not replying to my email in a long time and that "It was complicated and that he was confused." Whatever he meant by that I don't know.

He literally responded to my email and texts everyday up until our date. After we went out, he didn't respond so frequently so I'm wondering if that is the culture.

At first I thought he had broken up with the girl so he's using me for backup but when I was in his car on the last date, I saw him receive a text message from her because his iPhone was laid out in front of me. Probably because it was from her, he quickly clicked cancel on reading the messaged.

I even asked if he needed to respond to that text and he said to me "No. It's not important. Just a friend that wanted to go to karaoke." He pressed cancel so fast that I couldn't even read what the message was but I think there was "karaoke" in the message but I'm not sure.

I know that he is still in contact with her and what I originally thought was incorrect. He hasn't broken up with her. So what's up?by yumirikku87rate this post as useful

umm2009/12/12 05:19 maybe that kiss just kinda meant "thank you" to him, cause i got kissed when i was in japan when this girl asked if i had 100yen she could have for a locker..and she kissed me after i told her that i dont understand japanese and was from america... but u never know...(im asian so blend in)by notakid (guest)rate this post as useful

Confrontation2009/12/13 00:44 I am well aware that I am not the only one he is looking for. I was thinking about confronting him on that but since he and I are just dating and not a couple, it didn't really bother me. In the end, he probably will have to come to a decision or Not but I feel like I shouldn't force an answer out of someone because it will either A-push him away or B-cause him to make up lies.

I have kinda confronted him in an email saying "I know the truth and you should've told me." He responded three months later saying "No, I'm sorry, it was my fault. I have some reasons. It's kind of complicated. Actually I was confused at the time."

It sounds really beat around the bush, I know but that's the answer I got from him. Also, I know he's been with that girl for at least a year ago because the pictures on her facebook date back from 08.by yumirikku87rate this post as useful

The ABG is a stereotype that applies to Asian-American girls, or more broadly, Asian girls who have grown up in Western countries. The standard ABG has dyed her hair some color of balayage, usually blonde, sports false eyelashes on the daily, and likes to wear bodycon clothing. She drinks bubble tea like her life depends on it, goes to raves as often as she can, and is addicted to her Juul.

ABGs are also somewhat of a new Asian-American beauty standard. Their false eyelashes and smokey eyeshadow align more with Western beauty conventions than Eastern ones, and their fashion tastes and colored hair can give any immigrant Asian mother a heart attack. Generally, they are perceived as sexually attractive in the eyes of men (white men specifically) and because of this, a considerable portion of my friends have said offhandedly that they want to get an ABG makeover. My friends seem to have this perception that if they got their hands on some falsies and booked a good hair appointment, they could ascend into an upper echelon of beauty.

I find myself associating the ABG with guaranteed male attraction as well; I immediately assume that the typical ABG I pass on Locust Walk has extensive past dating experience, a co-ed friend group, and overwhelmingly large insight on fashion and beauty. Because the ABG has carved out this new beauty standard, the ABG also produces a new social dichotomy of whether or not a girl is an ABG. Since it is such a specific stereotype, it is easy to separate Asian-American girls into this superficial binary. However, the ABG is not always on the positive side of this dichotomy.

The ABG also spawned from Californian rave culture, creating a divide between West Coast ABGs and East Coast ABGs. When I spoke with a student from California, his views on ABGs were very positive. He called them nice and hard-working, the types of people to rave on the weekends but also study extremely hard for their Organic Chemistry midterm the next day.

ABGs have been around the west coast since the 90s, and even longer in japan. They were always on the covers of import tuner and other car enthusiast magazines. Boba loving, cigarette smoking, speed freaks. One could say Suki(Devon Aoki, sister of steve aoki) really made the trend blow up cuz of the fast and furious movies.

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