News of the Weird, December 25, 2011
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2011 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* When Tattoos Aren't Nearly Enough: In some primitive cultures,
beauty and status are displayed via large holes in the ear lobe from
which to hang heavy ornaments or to insert jewels or tokens, and
BBC News reported in November that an "increasing" number of
counter-culture Westerners are getting their lobes opened far
beyond routine piercing, usually by gradually stretching but
sometimes with a hole-punch tool for immediate results. The hard
core are "gauge kings (or queens)," showing a "commitment" to the
lifestyle by making holes up to 10mm (3/8") wide. (Cosmetic
surgeons told BBC News in November that they're already
preparing procedures for the inevitable wave of regretted decisions.)
[BBC News, 11-21-2011]
NOTE: So much "weird" news just involves different people
caught in the middle of the same old weirdness. For this week and
next, check out recent Recurring Themes (plus important Updates
of previous stories):
* Larry Walters made history in 1982 with perhaps the most famous
balloon ride of all time--in an ordinary lawn chair, lifted by 45
helium-filled weather balloons--soaring to over 16,000 feet in
southern California before descending by shooting the balloons one
by one. In 2008, gas station manager Kent Couch of Bend, Ore.,
made a similar lawn-chair flight and had scheduled another, for
November 2011, to float over now-allegedly-peaceful Baghdad, to
raise money for Iraqi orphans. (Couch subsequently postponed his
flight until March 2012 to give the charities more time to organize.)
[Los Angeles Times, 11-4-2011; The Pantagraph (Bloomington,
Ill.)-AP, 11-17-2011]
* Corruption in some Latin American prisons has allowed
powerful criminals to buy extraordinary privileges behind bars.
News of the Weird's report on Venezuela's San Antonio prison in
July described the imperial reign of one drug lord-inmate, who
presided over a personal armory, a local-community drug market,
and private parties (and with his own DirecTV account). In a
surprise raid in November on a prison in Acapulco, Mexico, the
usual drugs and weapons turned up, but also 100 fighting roosters
for daily gambling, along with a prisoner's two pet peacocks. [The
Guardian (London)-AP, 11-8-2011]
* The lives of many choking victims have been saved by the
Heimlich Maneuver--even one received inadvertently, such as the
one a Leesburg, Fla., motorist gave himself in 2001, after gagging
on a hamburger, then losing control and smashing into a utility pole.
As he was thrust against the steering wheel, the burger dislodged.
In November 2011, as the mother of 8-year-old Laci Davis drove
her to a Cincinnati hospital after a locket stuck in her throat and
caused her to double over in pain, Mom hit a pothole, which jarred
Laci and dislodging the locket loose into her stomach (later to come
out naturally). [WCPO-TV, 11-11-2011]
* It seemed a rare event (first reported in 1994 but initially regarded
as an "urban legend"). However, twice now recently, workers have
played a particularly dangerous prank on a colleague. A month after
the recent News of the Weird story about Gareth Durrant's lawsuit
in England against co-workers who had inserted a compressed-air
hose into his rectum, a carpenter's assistant in Nicosia, Cyprus, was
jailed for 45 days for pulling the same stunt on his colleague,
rupturing his large intestine. [Cyprus-Mail.com, 11-17-2011]
* Sometimes professionals who overbill for their hours go too far,
claiming obviously-impossible schedules, such as lawyers News of
the Weird reported on in 1992 and 1994 (one, a Raleigh, N.C.,
lawyer, submitted one client bills averaging nearly 1,200 hours a
month--even though a month only has 744 hours). New York City
officials said in October 2011, however, that it's quite possible that
city prison psychiatrist Dr. Quazi Rahman actually did work 141
hours one week, including 96 straight (because of a shortage of staff
and because he could properly nap during his shifts). They ordered
him to return only a tiny amount of his $500,000 in overtime
payments for the last year. [New York Post, 10-2-2011]
* Ten years ago, the fashionable bulletproof clothing industry was
in its infancy, with Miss Israel creating a stir at the 2001 Miss
Universe pageant with a bulletproof evening gown. Since then,
technology and design improvements (along with more rich
people!) have enabled leading stylist Miguel Caballero of Colombia
to add to his fashion line. The New Yorker reported in September
2011 that Caballero had made a bulletproof dinner jacket for Sean
Combs and kimono for Steven Seagal, and that Caballero clothes
are available in strengths of bullet-stopping, from "9mm" to "Uzi."
[New York Daily News, 9-20-2011]
* Rumors that daring youth are inserting tampons soaked in vodka
into body orifices to speed alcohol delivery have been around for at
least 10 years. Curiously, the only regular-sourced news stories
come from TV stations in Phoenix (KNXV-TV in 2009 and KPHO-
TV in 2011), and the "urban legends" source Snopes.com calls the
whole idea far-fetched. Nonetheless, in November 2011, a school
resource officer told KPHO's Elizabeth Erwin that there are
"documented cases" and that "guys," too, engage by inserting the
tampons into their rectums. Dr. Dan Quan of the Maricopa Medical
Center cautioned against the practice, warning of the dangers of
mucosal irritation. [KPHO-TV, 11-8-2011
* Anti-government survivalists engaged in high-profile standoffs
have made News of the Weird--most recently that of Ed Brown and
his wife and supporters, resisting a federal tax bill, holed up for nine
months in the New Hampshire woods near Plainfield in 2007. (The
Browns were arrested by a U.S. Marshal who tricked his way
inside.) The longest-running standoff now is probably that of John
Joe Gray, 63, and his extended family in a 47-acre, well-fortified
compound in Trinidad, Tex., southeast of Dallas. They have lived
ascetic settlers' lives since Gray jumped bail in 2000 on a traffic
charge. Gray has said he feels free on his land and warned
authorities "better bring plenty of body bags" if they try to re-arrest
him. [Houston Chronicle 5-22-2011]
Updates
* Unlicensed "surgeon"-castrator Edward Bodkin re-surfaced
recently after more than a decade under the radar. He was
sentenced to four years in prison in 1999 in Huntington, Ind., for
unauthorized practice of medicine (removing the testicles, with
consent, of five men). Bodkin was arrested in August 2011 in
Wetumpka, Ala., and charged with possession of child pornography,
but authorities also recovered castration equipment, videos of
castrations, photos of testicles in jars, and a form contract
apparently used by Bodkin to obtain the consent of men going under
his knife. [Wetumpka Herald, 8-15-2011]
* In January 2009, the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family
Services removed three kids from the home of Heath and Deborah
Campbell in Holland Township, apparently after becoming alarmed
that the Campbells might be white supremacists. Though a court
later concluded that the kids had been "abused," the Campbells told
the New York Daily News in October 2011 that the state acted only
based on the names the parents had given the kids--Adolf Hitler
Campbell, who was then 3, and his then-1-year-old sisters,
Honszlynn Hinler Jeanne Campbell and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation
Campbell. The Campbells have consistently denied that they are
neo-Nazis. [New York Daily News, 10-26-2011]
* It is almost No Longer Weird that Western chefs attempt to get as
exotic as they can serving plants, insects, and obscure parts of
animals in their dishes that are usually only experienced by cultures
far removed from America. Jennifer McLagan's recent book on
how to cook animals' "odd" parts describes various recipes for
cooking hearts, heads, tongues, and ears, and guesses that the next
big thing in Western eating will be testicles. "[S]teaks and chops
are like bulletproof to cook," she said "Any idiot can cook a steak,
right?" [Daily Mail, 11-23-2011]
* Thomas Beatie was big news in March 2008 when he and his wife
Nancy decided to start a family, except that Thomas, not Nancy,
took on the child-bearing responsibilities. (Thomas, born a female,
had his breasts removed but retained his reproductive organs.)
Thomas got pregnant, appeared on "Oprah," and subsequently had
three children (who mugged delightfully for the cameras on the
syndicated TV "The Doctors" in October 2011). He also revealed
on the show that it might be time to get his tubes tied, as each
pregnancy requires him, irritatingly, to abandon his male hormone
regimen. [Daily Telegraph (London), 10-31-2011]
Thanks This Week to the News of the Weird Board of
Editorial Advisors.
*****
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