News of the Weird, March 24, 2013
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Chuck Shepherd
Mar 24, 2013, 5:28:35 AM3/24/13
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WEIRDNUZ.M311 (News of the Weird, March 24, 2013)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* One of the many decisions greeting Pope Francis, as Salon.com
pointed out, is whether to officially recognize a "Patron Saint of
Handgunners"--as urged by a U.S. organization of activists for more
than 20 years. According to legend, Saint Gabriel Possenti rescued
an Italian village from a small band of pillagers (and perhaps
rapists) in the 19th century by shooting at a lizard in the road,
killing it with one shot, which supposedly so terrified the bandits
that they fled. No humans were harmed, activists now point out,
signifying the handgun as obviously a force for good. The president
of the St. Gabriel Possenti Society has noted that, however far-
fetched the "lizard incident" may be, it was rarely questioned until
U.S. anti-gun activists gained strength in the 1980s. [Salon, 2-21-
2013]
Can't Possibly Be True
* Though Americans may feel safe that the Food and Drug
Administration only approves a drug for certain specific uses, the
U.S. Court of Appeals in New York ruled in December that the drug
company salespeople have a First Amendment right to claim that
drugs approved only for one use can be marketed for non-approved
uses, as well. Doctors and bioethicists seemed outraged, according
to the Los Angeles Times, generally agreeing with a University of
Minnesota professor who called the decision "a complete disgrace.
What this basically does is destroy drug regulation in the United
States." [Los Angeles Times, 12-7-2012]
* Denials of disability allowances in the town of Basildon, England,
near London, are handled at the Acorn House courthouse, on the
fourth floor, where afflicted people who believe they were wrongly
rejected for benefits must present their appeals. However, in
November, zealous government safety wardens, concerned about
fire-escape dangers, closed off the fourth floor to wheelchair-using
people. Asked one woman, turned away in early February, "Why
are they holding disability tribunals in a building disabled people
aren't allowed in?" (In February, full access resumed.) [Yellow
Advertiser Today (Basildon), 2-6-2013]
* Among the helpful civic classes the city government in Oakland,
Calif., set up earlier this year for its residents was one on how to
pick locks (supposedly to assist people who had accidentally locked
themselves out of their homes), and lock-picking kits were even
offered for sale after class. Some residents were aghast, as the city
had seen burglaries increase by 40 percent in 2012. Asked one
complainer, "What's next? The fundamentals of armed robbery?"
(In February, Mayor Jean Quan apologized and canceled the class.)
[San Jose Mercury News, 2-28-2012]
* We Must Kill This Legislation Because Too Many People Are For
It: In February, the North Carolina House of Representatives Rules
Committee took the unusual step of pre-emptively burying a bill to
legalize prescription marijuana (which 18 states so far have
embraced). WRAL-TV (Raleigh-Durham) reported Rep. Paul
Stam's explanation: Committee members were hearing from so
many patients and other constituents (via phone calls and e-mails)
about the importance of medical marijuana to them that the
Representatives were feeling "harassed." [WRAL-TV, 2-24-2013]
Inexplicable
* Two teachers and three student teachers at a Windsor, Ontario,
elementary school somehow thought it would be a neat prank on
their 8th graders to make them think their class trip would be to
Florida's Disney World, and they created a video and Power Point
presentation previewing the excursion. The kids' exhilaration
lasted only a few days when they were informed that plans had
changed and that they would instead be visiting a local bowling
alley. Furthermore, the teachers captured the students' shock on
video, to presumably to repeatedly re-enjoy their prank. (When the
principal found out, she apologized, disciplined the teachers, and
arranged a class trip to Niagara Falls.) [Windsor Star, 2-21-2013]
* Solutions to Non-Problems: (1) Illinois state Rep. Luis Arroyo
introduced a bill in March that would ban the state's restaurants
from serving lion meat. (2) Georgia state Rep. Jay Neal introduced
legislation in February to ban the implantation of a human embryo
into a nonhuman. Rep. Neal told the Associated Press that this has
been a hot issue in "other states." [WMAQ-TV (Chicago), 3-9-
2013] [Associated Press via Athens Banner-Herald, 2-27-2013]
Unclear on the Concept
* Imprisoned British computer hacker Nicholas Webber, 21, serving
time for computer fraud, hacked into the mainframe at his London
prison after officials allowed him to take a computer class. Like
most prisons, the Isis facility attempts to rehabilitate inmates with
classes to inspire new careers, but apparently no one made the
connection between the class and Webber's crime. (One prison staff
member involved in the class was fired.) [The Register (London),
3-4-2013]
* Dustin Coyle, 34, was charged with domestic abuse in Oklahoma
City in January, but it was hardly his fault, he told police. His ex-
girlfriend accused him (after she broke up with him) of swiping her
cat and then roughing it up, punching her, elbowing her, and
sexually assaulting her. Coyle later lamented to police that she and
he were supposed to get married but for some reason she changed
her mind. "If she would just marry me, that would solve
everything," but that, according to the police report, he would settle
for her being his girlfriend again--or a one-night stand. [The
Oklahoman, 1-24-2013]
The Redneck Chronicles
* Gary Ericcson, 46, was distraught in January at being charged
with animal cruelty in shooting to death his beloved pet snake. He
told the Charlotte Observer that he is not guilty, as the dear thing
had already passed away and that he shot it only "to get the gas out"
so that other animals would not dig it up after he buried it. He said
he was so despondent (fearing that a conviction will prevent him
from being allowed to have even dogs and cats) that in frustration
he had shot up and destroyed a large cabinet that housed his Dale
Earnhardt collectibles. [Charlotte Observer, 1-3-2013]
Perspective
* First-World Products: The DogTread Treadmill is a modification
of the familiar exercise machine in homes and health clubs, with
special features for dog safety--a helpful invention in a nation in
which over half of all pet dogs are too fat. (A somewhat higher
percentage of cats is overweight, but it is unlikely that marketing a
cat treadmill has ever been considered.) The Association for Pet
Obesity Prevention points out that pets can develop type 2 diabetes,
high blood pressure, and osteoarthritis, and that the problem stems
from insufficient exercise and overindulgent owners. (The
DogTread Treadmill sells for $499-$899.) [Mother Nature News,
2-11-2013]
Readers' Choice
* (1) Teri James, 29, filed a lawsuit recently in San Diego, Calif.,
against San Diego Christian College because it fired her for being
pregnant and unmarried--a violation of specific employee rules.
She said the firing was obviously illegal gender discrimination
because her job was quickly offered to the next-most-qualified
candidate--James's fiance, who was openly cohabiting with James
all along and is the baby's father. (2) In a Philadelphia courtroom in
February, alleged assault victim John Huttick was on the witness
stand tearfully describing how miserable his life has become since
he lost his left eye in a barroom fight with the defendant. Right
then, however, his prosthetic eye fell out. The judge, certain that it
was an accident, quickly declared a mistrial (especially since two
jurors, seated a few feet away, appeared sickened). [NBC News, 3-
4-2013] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 2-6-2013]
Armed and Clumsy (All-New!)
* Among the Americans (all males, as usual) who accidentally shot
themselves recently: A 19-year-old man, with the AR-15 assault
weapon he had just stolen (Independence, Ore., March)*. An
angler, shooting salmon (Thurston County, Wash., October). An
18-year-old man, shot in the "groin" while cleaning his gun (Port St.
Lucie, Fla., September). A 59-year-old poor multitasker, who
tripped and fell holding his shotgun while talking on the phone to
his girlfriend (St. Matthews, S.C., September)*. A police officer
serving an arrest warrant (shot in the buttocks) (Mercer Island,
Wash., November). A 54-year-old man at a gun show, mistaken
about whether his gun was loaded) (Des Moines, Iowa, January). A
22-year-old man, showing off and flummoxed by whether a bullet
was still in the chamber (Stamford, Conn., September)*. An 18-
year-old man, similarly flummoxed (and suffering the same fate)
(St. Petersburg, Fla., January)*. (* indicates people who will never
make that mistake again, or any other)
Independence: [KGW-TV (Portland, Ore.), 3-4-2013]
Thurston: [The Olympian (Olympia, Wash.), 10-1-2012]
Port St. Lucie: [WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg, Fla.), 9-10-2012]
St. Matthews: [Associated Press via WYFF-TV (Greenville), 9-21-
2012]
Mercer Island: [KOMO-TV (Seattle), 11-29-2012]
Des Moines: [Des Moines Register, 1-25-2013]
Stamford: [Stamford Advocate, 9-14-2012]
St. Petersburg: [Tampa Bay Online, 1-10-2013]
Thanks This Week to Bruce Leiserowitz, Kristina
Rasmussen, David Swanson, Jeffrey Manfull, Tom Hundley, Mel
Packer, Dave Leister, Mark Gorman, Richard Schneider, Yvonne
Wiliams, and Kev at arbroath.blogspot.com, and to the News of the
Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger
Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim
Sweeney) and Board of Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul
Blumstein, Harry Farkas, Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory
Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Steve Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark
Neunder, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor,
Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle).
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33679.
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* One of the many decisions greeting Pope Francis, as Salon.com
pointed out, is whether to officially recognize a "Patron Saint of
Handgunners"--as urged by a U.S. organization of activists for more
than 20 years. According to legend, Saint Gabriel Possenti rescued
an Italian village from a small band of pillagers (and perhaps
rapists) in the 19th century by shooting at a lizard in the road,
killing it with one shot, which supposedly so terrified the bandits
that they fled. No humans were harmed, activists now point out,
signifying the handgun as obviously a force for good. The president
of the St. Gabriel Possenti Society has noted that, however far-
fetched the "lizard incident" may be, it was rarely questioned until
U.S. anti-gun activists gained strength in the 1980s. [Salon, 2-21-
2013]
Can't Possibly Be True
* Though Americans may feel safe that the Food and Drug
Administration only approves a drug for certain specific uses, the
U.S. Court of Appeals in New York ruled in December that the drug
company salespeople have a First Amendment right to claim that
drugs approved only for one use can be marketed for non-approved
uses, as well. Doctors and bioethicists seemed outraged, according
to the Los Angeles Times, generally agreeing with a University of
Minnesota professor who called the decision "a complete disgrace.
What this basically does is destroy drug regulation in the United
States." [Los Angeles Times, 12-7-2012]
* Denials of disability allowances in the town of Basildon, England,
near London, are handled at the Acorn House courthouse, on the
fourth floor, where afflicted people who believe they were wrongly
rejected for benefits must present their appeals. However, in
November, zealous government safety wardens, concerned about
fire-escape dangers, closed off the fourth floor to wheelchair-using
people. Asked one woman, turned away in early February, "Why
are they holding disability tribunals in a building disabled people
aren't allowed in?" (In February, full access resumed.) [Yellow
Advertiser Today (Basildon), 2-6-2013]
* Among the helpful civic classes the city government in Oakland,
Calif., set up earlier this year for its residents was one on how to
pick locks (supposedly to assist people who had accidentally locked
themselves out of their homes), and lock-picking kits were even
offered for sale after class. Some residents were aghast, as the city
had seen burglaries increase by 40 percent in 2012. Asked one
complainer, "What's next? The fundamentals of armed robbery?"
(In February, Mayor Jean Quan apologized and canceled the class.)
[San Jose Mercury News, 2-28-2012]
* We Must Kill This Legislation Because Too Many People Are For
It: In February, the North Carolina House of Representatives Rules
Committee took the unusual step of pre-emptively burying a bill to
legalize prescription marijuana (which 18 states so far have
embraced). WRAL-TV (Raleigh-Durham) reported Rep. Paul
Stam's explanation: Committee members were hearing from so
many patients and other constituents (via phone calls and e-mails)
about the importance of medical marijuana to them that the
Representatives were feeling "harassed." [WRAL-TV, 2-24-2013]
Inexplicable
* Two teachers and three student teachers at a Windsor, Ontario,
elementary school somehow thought it would be a neat prank on
their 8th graders to make them think their class trip would be to
Florida's Disney World, and they created a video and Power Point
presentation previewing the excursion. The kids' exhilaration
lasted only a few days when they were informed that plans had
changed and that they would instead be visiting a local bowling
alley. Furthermore, the teachers captured the students' shock on
video, to presumably to repeatedly re-enjoy their prank. (When the
principal found out, she apologized, disciplined the teachers, and
arranged a class trip to Niagara Falls.) [Windsor Star, 2-21-2013]
* Solutions to Non-Problems: (1) Illinois state Rep. Luis Arroyo
introduced a bill in March that would ban the state's restaurants
from serving lion meat. (2) Georgia state Rep. Jay Neal introduced
legislation in February to ban the implantation of a human embryo
into a nonhuman. Rep. Neal told the Associated Press that this has
been a hot issue in "other states." [WMAQ-TV (Chicago), 3-9-
2013] [Associated Press via Athens Banner-Herald, 2-27-2013]
Unclear on the Concept
* Imprisoned British computer hacker Nicholas Webber, 21, serving
time for computer fraud, hacked into the mainframe at his London
prison after officials allowed him to take a computer class. Like
most prisons, the Isis facility attempts to rehabilitate inmates with
classes to inspire new careers, but apparently no one made the
connection between the class and Webber's crime. (One prison staff
member involved in the class was fired.) [The Register (London),
3-4-2013]
* Dustin Coyle, 34, was charged with domestic abuse in Oklahoma
City in January, but it was hardly his fault, he told police. His ex-
girlfriend accused him (after she broke up with him) of swiping her
cat and then roughing it up, punching her, elbowing her, and
sexually assaulting her. Coyle later lamented to police that she and
he were supposed to get married but for some reason she changed
her mind. "If she would just marry me, that would solve
everything," but that, according to the police report, he would settle
for her being his girlfriend again--or a one-night stand. [The
Oklahoman, 1-24-2013]
The Redneck Chronicles
* Gary Ericcson, 46, was distraught in January at being charged
with animal cruelty in shooting to death his beloved pet snake. He
told the Charlotte Observer that he is not guilty, as the dear thing
had already passed away and that he shot it only "to get the gas out"
so that other animals would not dig it up after he buried it. He said
he was so despondent (fearing that a conviction will prevent him
from being allowed to have even dogs and cats) that in frustration
he had shot up and destroyed a large cabinet that housed his Dale
Earnhardt collectibles. [Charlotte Observer, 1-3-2013]
Perspective
* First-World Products: The DogTread Treadmill is a modification
of the familiar exercise machine in homes and health clubs, with
special features for dog safety--a helpful invention in a nation in
which over half of all pet dogs are too fat. (A somewhat higher
percentage of cats is overweight, but it is unlikely that marketing a
cat treadmill has ever been considered.) The Association for Pet
Obesity Prevention points out that pets can develop type 2 diabetes,
high blood pressure, and osteoarthritis, and that the problem stems
from insufficient exercise and overindulgent owners. (The
DogTread Treadmill sells for $499-$899.) [Mother Nature News,
2-11-2013]
Readers' Choice
* (1) Teri James, 29, filed a lawsuit recently in San Diego, Calif.,
against San Diego Christian College because it fired her for being
pregnant and unmarried--a violation of specific employee rules.
She said the firing was obviously illegal gender discrimination
because her job was quickly offered to the next-most-qualified
candidate--James's fiance, who was openly cohabiting with James
all along and is the baby's father. (2) In a Philadelphia courtroom in
February, alleged assault victim John Huttick was on the witness
stand tearfully describing how miserable his life has become since
he lost his left eye in a barroom fight with the defendant. Right
then, however, his prosthetic eye fell out. The judge, certain that it
was an accident, quickly declared a mistrial (especially since two
jurors, seated a few feet away, appeared sickened). [NBC News, 3-
4-2013] [Philadelphia Inquirer, 2-6-2013]
Armed and Clumsy (All-New!)
* Among the Americans (all males, as usual) who accidentally shot
themselves recently: A 19-year-old man, with the AR-15 assault
weapon he had just stolen (Independence, Ore., March)*. An
angler, shooting salmon (Thurston County, Wash., October). An
18-year-old man, shot in the "groin" while cleaning his gun (Port St.
Lucie, Fla., September). A 59-year-old poor multitasker, who
tripped and fell holding his shotgun while talking on the phone to
his girlfriend (St. Matthews, S.C., September)*. A police officer
serving an arrest warrant (shot in the buttocks) (Mercer Island,
Wash., November). A 54-year-old man at a gun show, mistaken
about whether his gun was loaded) (Des Moines, Iowa, January). A
22-year-old man, showing off and flummoxed by whether a bullet
was still in the chamber (Stamford, Conn., September)*. An 18-
year-old man, similarly flummoxed (and suffering the same fate)
(St. Petersburg, Fla., January)*. (* indicates people who will never
make that mistake again, or any other)
Independence: [KGW-TV (Portland, Ore.), 3-4-2013]
Thurston: [The Olympian (Olympia, Wash.), 10-1-2012]
Port St. Lucie: [WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg, Fla.), 9-10-2012]
St. Matthews: [Associated Press via WYFF-TV (Greenville), 9-21-
2012]
Mercer Island: [KOMO-TV (Seattle), 11-29-2012]
Des Moines: [Des Moines Register, 1-25-2013]
Stamford: [Stamford Advocate, 9-14-2012]
St. Petersburg: [Tampa Bay Online, 1-10-2013]
Thanks This Week to Bruce Leiserowitz, Kristina
Rasmussen, David Swanson, Jeffrey Manfull, Tom Hundley, Mel
Packer, Dave Leister, Mark Gorman, Richard Schneider, Yvonne
Wiliams, and Kev at arbroath.blogspot.com, and to the News of the
Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Ginger
Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl Olson, and Jim
Sweeney) and Board of Editorial Advisors (Tom Barker, Paul
Blumstein, Harry Farkas, Sam Gaines, Herb Jue, Emory
Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Steve Miller, Christopher Nalty, Mark
Neunder, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Rob Snyder, Stephen Taylor,
Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle).
* * * * *
WeirdNews at earthlink dot net and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33679.
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