News of the Weird, August 30, 2009
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Lonely Japanese men (and a few women) with rich imaginations
have created a thriving subculture ("otaku") in which they have all-
consuming relationships with figurines that are based on popular
anime characters. "The less extreme," reported a New York Times
writer in July, obsessively collect the dolls. The hardcore otaku
"actually believes that a lumpy pillow with a drawing of a [teenage
character] is his girlfriend," and takes her out in public on romantic
dates. "She has really changed my life," said "Nisan," 37, referring
to his gal, Nemutan. (The otaku dolls are not to be confused with
the life-size, anatomically-correct dolls that other lonely men use
for sex.) One forlorn "2-D" (so named for preferring relationships
with two-dimensionals) said he would like to marry a real, 3-D
woman, "[b]ut look at me. How can someone who carries this
[doll] around get married?" [New York Times Magazine, 7-26-09]
Cultural Diversity
* Thousands of Koreans, and some tourists, uninhibitedly joined in
the messy events of July's Byryeong City Mud Festival, which
glorifies the joys of an activity usually limited to pigs. Mud
wrestling, mud-sliding, a "mud prison," and colored mud baths
dominated the week's activities, but so unfortunately did
dermatological maladies, which hospitalized 200 celebrants. [Daily
Mail (London), 7-12-09]
* National Specialties: (1) In May, Singapore's Olympic Council,
finding no athlete good enough, declined to name a national
Sportsman of the Year. (2) A survey of industrialized nations by
the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development
revealed that Japanese and Koreans sleep the least while the French
spend the most time at both sleeping and eating. (3) A Tokyo rail
passenger company, Keihin, installed a face-scanning machine
recently so that employees, upon reporting for work, can tell
whether they are smiling broadly enough to present a good
impression. [Reuters, 5-6-09] [Reuters, 5-4-09] [Mainichi Daily
News, 7-4-09]
Latest Religious Messages
* The director of a child advocacy group told the Associated Press
in June that, since 1975, at least 274 children have died following
the withholding of medical treatment based on religious doctrine.
In one high-profile case this year, the father of a girl said turning
her over to doctors would violate God's word (she died), but in
another, a Minnesota family that had trusted their son's cancer to
prayer, based on advice from something called the Nemenhah
Band, changed course and allowed chemotherapy, which so far
appears to have prolonged the boy's life. [MSNBC-AP, 6-30-09]
* The Shinto temple Kanda Shrine, near Tokyo's version of Silicon
Valley, does a brisk business blessing electronic gadgets, according
to a July dispatch in Wired magazine. Lucky charms go for the
equivalent of about $8.50, but for a personal session, the temple
expects an offering of the equivalent of at least $50. The Wired
writer, carrying a potentially balky cell phone, approached the
shrine with a tree branch as instructed, turned it 180 degrees
clockwise, and laid it on the altar. After bowing twice and
clapping his hands twice, he left, looking forward to a glitch-free
phone. [Wired, July 2009]
Questionable Judgments
* Took It Too Far: (1) Washington, D.C., corrections officials,
hoping for juvenile rehabilitation by a kinder, gentler approach to
incarceration, opened its New Beginnings Youth Center in May.
The lockdown facility had declined to use razor wire, instead
merely landscaping its chain-link fences with thorny rose bushes.
After one inmate easily escaped on the second day of operation,
razor wire was installed. (2) Bride Lin Rong wed in August in
China's eastern Jilin province, walking down the aisle in a dress
that was more than 7,000 feet (1.3 miles) long (rolled up in a
wagon behind her). [WRC-TV (Washington, D.C.), 6-1-09] [BBC
News, 8-7-09]
* Britain's National Health Service of Sheffield issued a "guidance"
to schools this summer to encourage teaching students alternatives
to premarital sex, including masturbation. According to the Daily
Telegraph, the leaflet (titled "Pleasure") contains the slogan "[A]n
orgasm a day keeps the doctor away" and likens the health benefits
of eating fruits and vegetables, and exercising, to the benefits of
masturbating twice a week. [Daily Telegraph, 7-12-09]
* Latest Questionable Grants: (1) Welsh artist Sue Williams was
awarded the equivalent of about $33,000 in June, from the Arts
Council of Wales, to explore cultural attitudes toward women's
buttocks, especially "racial fetishism" in African and European
culture. Williams said she will create a series of plaster casts of
buttocks to work with, beginning with her own. (2) In July, the
National Institutes of Health awarded $3 million to the University
of Illinois Chicago to identify the things that cause lesbians to
drink alcohol. It will be very important, said research director
Tonda Hughes, to compare why lesbians drink with why
heterosexual women drink. (This is a different NIH grant from the
ones reported in News of the Weird in June, to study why gay men
in Argentina drink and why prostitutes in China drink.) [The Times
(London), 6-28-09] [WBBM-Chicago Sun Times, 7-21-09]
Rock People
* (1) Chicago police arrested motorist Daniel Phelan, 27, in August
and charged him in connection with a three-week spree of drive-by
rock-throwing at other cars. Officers discounted ordinary road-
rage as a cause, in that Phelan appeared to have been driving
around during that time with an arsenal of rocks in the passenger
seat. (2) A 22-year-old man was arrested in Kitsap, Wash., in
August after tossing a barrage of rocks at people, leading some to
chase him until police intervened. The man explained that he is
preparing to enter Ultimate Fighting Championship contests but
had never actually been in a fight and wanted experience at getting
beaten up. [WBBM-Chicago Sun-Times, 8-7-09] [Kitsap Sun, 8-
12-09]
Least Competent Cops
* (1) The Supreme Court of Spain tossed out assault charges
against Henry Osagiede in August because of unfairness by Madrid
police. Osagiede, a black man, was convicted after the victim
identified him as her attacker, in a lineup in which he was the only
black man. (2) Six Ormond Beach, Fla., motorcycle officers,
detailed to chaperone the body of prominent Harley-Davidson
dealer Bruce Rossmeyer from the funeral home to the cemetery,
accidentally collided with each other en route, sending all six riders
and their bikes sprawling. [Reuters, 8-5-09] [Miami Herald-AP, 8-
5-09]
Recurring Themes
* (1) "Spitting Contests": A man was almost killed in Rodgau,
Germany, in July when, attempting to show friends he could spit a
cherry pit the farthest off of a balcony, made a running start but
accidentally toppled over the railing. He was hospitalized with hip
injuries. (2) "Assistance Monkeys": Evidence of the dexterity and
usefulness of monkeys (for fetching objects for disabled people)
came from the Plants & Planters store in Richardson, Tex., in July.
The store owner, seeking to combat recent burglaries, installed a
surveillance camera, which revealed a monkey scaling the fence,
scooping up plants, flowers, and accessories, and handing them to
an accomplice waiting on the other side. [Spiegel Online
(Hamburg), 7-28-09] [WFAA-TV (Dallas), 7-21-09]
Undignified Deaths
* (1) Two 22-year-old men were accidentally killed in Mattoon,
Ill., in May during an outing in which an open-top double-decker
bus was used to transport guests. Several people were standing in
the top tier, but investigators said only the two tallest men were
accidentally hit when the bus passed under Interstate 57. (2) A 23-
year-old man drowned in Corpus Christi, Tex., in February, when
he sought to back up his claim in front of "friends" that he could
hold his breath underwater for a long period of time. [WGN-TV-
AP (Chicago), 6-1-09] [Caller-Times (Corpus Christi), 2-26-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (June 2003)
* In early 2003, several news organizations profiled 70-year-old
Charlotte Chambers, who was a reserve defensive back for the
Orlando Starz of the Independent Women's (tackle) Football
League. Said the Starz chief executive, "Last year, I thought I
should tell the other teams to go easy and not hit her too hard. But
now I'm afraid she's going to hurt somebody." Said the 5-foot-4,
140-pound Chambers, "I say, 'You better hit me [first], because
I'm laying you out.'" [New York Times-AP, 5-18-03]
Thanks This Week to Kathryn Wood, Pete Randall, Jason
Kingston, and Heather Ross, and to the News of the Weird Board
of Editorial Advisors.
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