News of the Weird, August 12, 2012

[Chuck Shepherd]

WEIRDNUZ.M279 (News of the Weird, August 12, 2012)

by Chuck Shepherd

 

Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd.  All rights reserved.

 

Lead Story

 

* Fern Cooper, 65, and 13 other cataract-surgery patients arrived at

Ontario's Oakville Trafalgar Hospital on June 25th to learn that

they would not receive the usual anesthesia because the hospital

had decided to schedule an "experimental day" to evaluate how

unsedated patients responded.  (The Ontario Health Insurance Plan

had recently cut anesthesiologists' fee.)  A topical numbing gel,

plus doctors' reassurances, were provided, but Cooper, previously

diagnosed with severe anxiety, told the Toronto Star of the terror

she felt when, fully awake, she watched the surgeon's scalpel

approaching, and then cutting, her eyeball. [Toronto Star, 7-6-

2012]

 

The Continuing Crisis

 

* Officials organizing a show for high school girls in June in

Sherbrooke, Quebec, signed up a 20-year-old apprentice hypnotist

to perform, but by the end of his session, he had failed to bring all

of the entranced girls out of their spells, including one who was so

far under that the man had to summon his mentor from home (an

hour's drive away) to come rescue her. The mentor, Richard

Whitbread, quickly re-hypnotized her and then snapped her out of

it with a stern voice, according to a Canadian Broadcasting

Corporation News report. He noted that his protege is a handsome

young man, which might have unduly influenced the girls. [CBC

News, 6-15-2012]

 

* Christianity has grown in acceptance recently in Ratanakiri

province, Cambodia, according to a June report in the Phnom Penh

Post as up to 80 percent of the population has given up the

traditional Theravada Buddhism (mixed with animism) as too

demanding.  According to local officials, traditional priests

typically prescribe expensive offerings, such as a slaughtered

buffalo, as the price of improving a relative's health.  Said one

convertee, with the money saved using Western medicine instead

of traditional sacrifices, she was able to build a house for her

family. [Phnom Penh Post, 6-12-2012]

 

* According to a June lawsuit by a former student, Western

Nevada College's course in human sexuality was so over-the-top

that it might be described as a collection of instructor Tom

Kubistant's erotic fantasies about college-age kids. Among

Kubistant's demands, according to "K.R.," were keeping a

masturbation journal (and ramping up the activity to twice the

student's pre-course level), disclosing one's uninhibited sexual

fantasies that in some cases were described by the instructor to the

class at large, and conducting discussion groups on the uses of sex

toys and lubricants. By the fifth week, K.R. claimed, Kubistant had

abandoned his schedule of topics and begun to dwell extensively

on "the female orgasm."  Kubistant's instructions appear to fit the

faculty handbook's definition of sexual harassment. [Courthouse

News Service, 6-28-2012]

 

* "Deer stands," classically, are jerry-built platforms hunters climb

onto to spot deer in the distance, but county officials in Duluth,

Minn., complained in July that the woods are becoming cluttered

with elaborate tree houses that are too often abandoned on public

land at the close of the season. One official was alarmed by

"mansions"--tree stands, he told the Duluth News Tribune, with

"stairways, decks, shingled roofs, commercial windows, insulation,

propane heaters, carpeting, lounge chairs, tables, and even the

occasional generator."  [Associated Press via The Oklahoman, 7-9-

2012]

 

Bright Ideas

 

* Rhesus monkeys have always posed delicate problems in India,

where they are both revered (by Hindu law) and despised (for

damaging property and roaming the streets begging for food).  In

Delhi, the rhesus population has grown dramatically, aided by the

Hindus who feed them, and streets and private property are

increasingly fouled.  However, Amar Singh's business is good.  He

owns 65 langurs (apes much more vicious than rhesus monkeys)

and, for the equivalent of about $200 per month, periodically

brings one or two by a client's house to urinate in the yard so that

the rhesus monkeys will steer clear. [New York Times, 5-23-2012]

 

Family Values

 

* Awww, Mo-ther!  Alleged drug dealer Jesus "Pepe" Fuentes, 37,

was arrested in Chicago in May after his mother botched a heroin

pickup for him. Fuentes, eager to catch a concert by the rapper

Scarface, sent his mother, instead, to gather the 10-kilo drop.  She

collected the drugs, but the entire shipment was lost when she

failed to use a turn signal and was stopped by police. [Chicago

Tribune, 5-24-2012]

 

* Catherine Venusto, 45, was arrested in July and charged with

breaking into the computer system of the Northwestern Lehigh

School District in Pennsylvania (where she formerly worked) and

changing the records of her two children (and while at it, reading

private e-mails of ten school officials).  Venusto allegedly switched

a daughter's F grade to M (for medically-excused) and one grade of

her overachieving son from, 98 to 99. [ABC News, 7-19-2012]

 

Movie Scenes Come to Life

 

* Should Be an Olympic Sport: Romanian gang members have

apparently been apprehended after a series of robberies during

March, April, and May that resembled a scene from a recent "Fast

and Furious" movie. The gang's vehicle approaches the rear of

tractor-trailers traveling at highway speed, and gangsters climb

onto their hood, grab the 18-wheeler's rear door, open it using

specialized tools, and steal inventory, apparently without

knowledge of the driver. In one video released by police in

Bucharest, the gang members, after peering inside the trailer,

decided to take nothing and climbed back out. [Daily Telegraph, 6-

12-2012]

 

Perspective

 

* Chicago staged its annual gun buy-back program in June (a $100

gift card for every firearm turned in) amidst its worst homicide

epidemic in years, in which 259 have died on city streets in the first

six months of 2012.  However, the program appears to be,

inadvertently, a win-win project for both anti- and pro-gun forces.

The city reported that 5,500 guns were removed from circulation

(bringing the total to 23,000 since the program was inaugurated),

and included this year were several machine guns. On the other

hand, 60 of this year's guns were handed in by a local pro-gun

organization, Guns Save Life, which promised to use its gift cards

to buy ammunition for a National Rifle Association-supported

shooting camp for kids.  [Chicago Sun-Times, 7-1-2012]

 

The Aristocrat!

 

* Jacksonville, Fla., sheriff's officers were investigating in July a

suspect (not identified) who they believe is responsible for several

incidents in which boxes of ready-to-use saline enemas were

purchased at a CVS drug store, opened, used, put back in the

boxes, resealed, and returned for refund (and which in some cases

wound up back on the store's shelves). The sheriff's office noted

that the man they suspect is in custody, having been arrested on

unrelated charges in June. [The Smoking Gun, 6-29-2012]

 

Recurring Themes

 

* British Scared-y Cats: UK bureaucrats are constantly drawing

criticism for their alleged over-concern with safety.  In June, Royal

Mail notified businesses on a street in Doncaster that it would no

longer deliver to them on rainy days because the street was too

slippery. (One clumsy postman had just suffered a broken shoulder

when he slipped and fell.) And in May, the Somerset County

Council ordered the removal of a yard sign advertising an

upcoming public fundraiser on the ground that someone might

bump into it at night. An event organizer pointed out that the

particular yard sign was stuck in the grass directly in front of a tree,

which was likely equally hard to see in darkness. [The Star

(Sheffield, England), 6-13-2012] [Western Daily Press, 5-17-2012]

 

Readers' Choice

 

* (1) "Meth Lab Explodes in Man's Pants" was the headline on one

newspaper's version of an April Associated Press dispatch from

Okmulgee County, Okla.  Police have warned that "one-pot" labs,

"cooking" in a soda bottle, can be ready to go in about 40 minutes

but that the contents are many times more highly pressurized than,

say, a fizzing soda bottle.  (2) At first impression, visitors to New

York City's Central Park seemed excited to be greeted by a man

dressed as the "Sesame Street" character Elmo, but then, when a

crowd gathers, Elmo incongruously begins a raunchy anti-Semitic

rant, denouncing various Jewish conspiracies.  Following

complaints of several incidents, in June, police took him to a

hospital for observation. [Associated Press via Kansas City Star, 4-

27-2012] [The Smoking Gun, 6-25-2012]

 

     Thanks This Week to Sandy Pearlman, Jeremy Hamilton,

Scott Huber, Lisa Stapleton, Ben Hestir, Reid Stacey, and Roy

Henock, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

               * * * * * * * * * *

     WeirdNews at earthlink dot net and P.O. Box 18737,

Tampa FL 33679.