News of the Weird, October 30, 2011
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2011 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* "My ultimate dream is to be buried in a deep ocean close to where
penguins live," explained the former Alfred David, 79, otherwise
known in his native Belgium as "Monsieur Pingouin" (Mr.
Penguin), so named because a 1968 auto accident left him with a
waddle in his walk that he decided to embrace with gusto. (His
wife abandoned the marriage when he made the name change
official; evidently, being "Mrs. Penguin" was not what she had
signed up for.) Mr. Pingouin started a penguin-item museum that
ultimately totaled 3,500 items, and he created a hooded, full-body
black-and-white penguin outfit that, according to a September
Reuters dispatch, he wears daily in his waddles around his Brussels
neighborhood of Schaerbeek. [Reuters, 9-29-2011]
Inscrutable Asians
* Though South Korean children score among the highest in the
world on standardized reading and math tests, their success comes
at a price, according to an October Time magazine dispatch. They
supposedly suffer "educational masochism"--punishing themselves
by overstudy, especially in high school preparing for university
admissions tests (a process so competitive that even test-coaching
schools are picky about accepting students). Earlier this year, to
curb the "masochism," the government began enforcing a 10 p.m.
curfew on coaching-school activities, and in Seoul, a six-man team
conducts nightly after-hours raids on classes that run late-night
sessions behind shuttered windows. (Ironically, Time
acknowledged, American educational reformers want U.S. students
to study harder, like Asians do, but Asian reformers want their
students to relax, like American students.) [Time, 9-25-2011]
* In America, the quest for perfectly-straight teeth can lead to
orthodontia bills of thousands of dollars, but in Japan, a dental
"defect"--slightly crooked canine teeth--makes young women more
fetching, even "adorable," say many men. Women with the "yaeba"
look have canines pushed slightly forward by the molars behind
them so that the canines develop a fang-like appearance. One dental
salon, the Plaisir, in Tokyo, recently began offering non-permanent
fixtures that replicate the look among straight-toothed women.
[CNN, 9-30-2011]
Latest Religious Messages
* Polls report that as many as 57 percent of Russians "notice" signs
of a "cult" surrounding Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, according to
a September Spiegel Online dispatch, and a chief cult leader is
"Mother Fotina," 62, who has a following of thousands among
Russian Orthodox practitioners and believes herself to be the
reincarnation of Joan of Arc and Putin to be St. Paul. "God," she
said, "has appointed Putin to Russia to prepare for the coming of
Jesus Christ." Mother Fotina was a convicted embezzler in the
1990s, and critics suspect her devotion to Putin is a ruse to deflect
law-enforcement attention. [Spiegel Online, 9-29-2011]
* Sheriff's deputies in Bergholz, Ohio, arrested three Amish men in
October and charged them in incidents in which other Amish men
and women had their homes invaded and their hair (and men's
beards) cut off--supposedly grave insults. The three are part of an
18-family breakaway sect of Amish who were said to be exacting
revenge upon mainstream Amish for insufficiently-pious behavior.
The "bishop" of the breakaways, Sam Mullet, 65, denied the
arrestees were acting under his authority. [The Intelligencer
(Wheeling, W.Va.), 10-6-2011]
Questionable Judgments
* "Snakeman" Raymond Hoser, of Park Orchards, Australia, was
about to be fined in August for violating his Commercial Wildlife
Demonstrator License--by failing to keep at least three meters'
distance between his venomous snakes and the public--when he hit
upon a defense: He would prove that he had de-venomized the
deadly taipan and death adder snakes by allowing them to bite his
10-year-old daughter on the arm. (Though both bites drew blood,
the girl was otherwise unhurt. Said Hoser, "[I]f they'd been
venomous, she'd have been dead in two minutes.") [Herald Sun
(Melbourne), 8-10-2011]
* For the 10-year remembrances of September 11th this year, many
cities recalled the tragedy with monuments and public events,
including Washington Township, N.J., about 20 miles from Ground
Zero. A large commemorative plaque was unveiled, but provoked
immediate outrage because the only names on it were not victims'
but only the mayor's and those of the five council members who
approved the plaque. Said one retired police officer, "It made my
blood boil." (Mayor Samir Elbassiouny later apologized and
ordered a steel overlay to obscure the politicians' names.) [WNBC-
TV (New York City), 9-14-2011]
Fine Points of the Law
* A judge in Nice, France, ruled in September that Article 215 of
the French civil code (defining marriage as a "shared communal
life") in fact requires that husband and wife have sex. A husband
identified only as Jean-Louis B. had evidently lost interest years
earlier, and his wife was granted a divorce. Apparently emboldened
by her victory, she then filed a monetary claim against the husband
for the 21-year-long lack of sex, and the judge awarded her 10,000
euros (about $13,710). [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-5-2011]
* It might well be "excessive force" if a sheriff's deputy beats and
pepper-sprays a black motorist who had been stopped only because
the deputy saw the motorist without a fastened seatbelt. A District
Court judge had concluded that the force was surely justified, but
the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit said in August that
excessiveness of force was for a jury to evaluate. (The deputy's
explanation: The motorist, waiting for the deputy to finish his
report, was sitting on a curb eating a bowl of broccoli, and the
deputy had to beat him down, he said, out of fear that the motorist
would throw the broccoli at him and then attack him.) [Young v.
County of Los Angeles, No. 09-56372, 8-26-2011, via
Findlaw.com]
People Different from Us
* "Urban farming" is growing more popular among city-dwelling
progressives committed to eating local foods, but that usually
involves gardens in backyards. For Robert McMinn and Jules
Corkery, it means raising two chickens in their one-bedroom
apartment in New York City--just to have a supply of fresh eggs. "I
don't think it's the ideal situation," McMinn told the New York
Daily News in October. However, he said, the hens are "cute.
They're fun to [watch] run around. They're excited when we come
home." On the other hand, he said, "[T]hey poop everywhere."
[New York Daily News, 10-2-2011]
Least Competent Criminals
* Bank Robbers Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Thomas Love, 40,
was arrested in New Castle County, Del., in October after he had
walked out of an WSFS Bank empty-handed. According to police,
Love had presented a demand note to a teller, who couldn't make
out the writing and handed it back, provoking Love to flee. (2)
Henry Elmer, 56, was arrested in Yuma, Ariz., in October where he
had just sat down to enjoy a beer at the Village Inn Pizza Parlor.
Police identified Elmer as the man who just moments earlier had
robbed the Wells Fargo bank in the same block and "fled" the few
steps to the Village Inn (which is also just across the street from the
Yuma Police Station). [Delaware Online, 10-11-2011] [Yuma Sun,
10-11-2011]
Recurring Themes
* Soon, it might be absolutely impossible to get hurt in Britain--
because of stringent health and safety rules. St. Mary's Church in
Cottingham announced it would go without an overhead light
because government rules require that it rig scaffolding to change
the light bulb in its 30-foot-high ceiling. (Using a ladder would be
unsafe.) And following the August riots in London, hundreds of
volunteers took to the streets to speed the clean-up process, but at
several junctures, police turned them away, fearful that the civic-
minded workers lacked the sense to avoid cutting themselves on the
broken glass and debris. [Daily Telegraph, 10-10-2011] [Daily
Telegraph, 8-9-2011]
A News of the Weird Classic (March 1994)
* In January [1994] at the Lake Como Fish and Game Club near
Syracuse, N. Y., Brian Carr beat out three dozen competitors in the
annual ice-fishing derby, with 155 catches. The temperature that
day was minus-30(F), and prize money for the top three anglers
was, respectively, $8, $6.50, and $5. [Syracuse Herald-Journal, 1-
18-94]
Thanks This Week to Jenny Morlan, Bruce Leiserowitz,
David Wasley, Jim Irons, Perry Levin, Craig Wildman, Brian
Wilson, Dexter Herbivore, Geoff Egan, Charlie Butterfield,
Solomon Humphries, Derek Costello, and Karl Barnes, and to the
News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
*****
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