Translation please

[neutra...@gmail.com]

A favorite thing for me about moving across the country every other
year is learning the language. The Midwest is endearing because they
don't know they have aaaaacents. My co-workers in Cleveland taught me
all about tree-lawns. Faaascinating.

The South is different though. They know they have accents, and I
believe they turn them off and on at will. I haven't gotten to know a
lot of southerners since I stay home and a lot of my friends happen to
be native westerners. We meet some people every once in a while whose
accents we really enjoy, like the repairmen at our apartment complex
who talks like Forrest Gump. A man at church once played "Pee Paw"
instead of "Peek-a-boo" with our boys. Funny.

But sometimes words have really different meanings. Once my college
roommate from New Jersey called a guy skanky. I immediately explained
what it meant out west and she assured me it wasn't what she was
trying to say.

Last night we learned another term for "Binky" (I know, it's a funny
word for pacifier) that was so shocking I can't even repeat it on my
blog because I want it to stay PG in western terms. All I can say is I
learned the word in high school when Limp Bizcuit came out with a song
that repeated it over and over. I'm not a Limp Bizcuit fan, seriously
I don't think I even spelled that right, but I did go to high school.
It was impossible not to hear that stupid song.

But it made me wonder how appropriate my speech is here in the south.
Could I be offending everyone without realizing it. I like to think my
accent is neutral, but lots of people have told me they like my
accent. Huh? What are they hearing. Yikes!