bodies

[Liz Sommers]

(Ignore this line at your own risk).

Has anybody reading this list gone through a lot of surgery lately? Right
now I am recovering from a bilateral masectomy (with reconstruction). I
had a hysterectomy 5 months ago. I am beginning to have real problems
relating to my body as a "woman's body" now. I am getting tired of hearing
how "you will look better than ever".... I really don't care how I look.

How can a woman relate to her body when all the important parts seem to be
gone? I always thought this was the sort of thing that might happen to my
grandmother, not me. It is making me feel old and scared.

liz
seismo!topaz!sommers

[Barry Gold]

First, I feel for your having gone through all that surgery. It's not
surprising that it left you depressed. I had a girlfriend who also had
both breasts and uterus removed (the year after her husband died in a freak
home accident at age 38), so I'm at least vaguely aware of how traumatic
that can be.

BUT it needs to be said that the breasts and uterus are NOT the most
important parts of your body. The msot important parts of your body are
the heart and lungs and brain and such. Without them, you can't go on
living as a human being.

Without breasts and uterus, you may be unable to conceive and suckle a
baby, but you're still capable (given the right lover) of having a
productive, satisfying, and sensual existence. (Oh yes, my girlfriend
found a man who loved her -- and already had had two children of his own
(by a bitch of a previous wife) and is now happily remarried.)

My mother who had a hysterectonomy due to cancer at age 60 took a year to
make a full emotional and physical recovery. (It takes longer to recover
from hysterectonomies where the surgeons were hunting for malignancies
than it does to recover from ones done simply for birth control reasons,
something the literature doesn't always tell you.) At age 70, she then
had half a lung taken out (no, she didn't smoke; but she had lived all her
life in Los Angeles) and is now nearly recovered from that, another year
later.

If I were you (and I must admit to being thankful I only have to settle for
my own problems, not yours), I'd assume it would take me a year since the
last operation to get over the trauma -- and do my best to hang on until
then, without making any drastic changes in lifestyle or plans.

Sincerely,

--Lee Gold