Blah
Ryan Tucker
On June 18th, the Des Moines area got extremely heavy rainfall. No big
deal, that's why we have sump pumps. Well, a branch came down and wiped
out our power line. Big deal. Within 15 minutes, the basement flooded,
which included my bedroom, my office, and a good chunk of my personal
belongings.
The next few hours included moving of stuff, purchasing of a generator,
etc.
A couple days later came the cleanup... ripping up of carpet, etc.
Everything went well until it came time to rip up the carpet in my room...
I couldn't do it :-/ I didn't feel mad, or sad, or angry, or anything
like that, just sort of... well, dead. Someone else had to do it.
Fast forward a couple weeks, to now, past two close calls with tornadoes
and about 5 days without power... reconstruction is well underway (despite
having no funding for it because insurance won't cover the damage), and
all of the walls, ceilings, etc in my office have been torn out...
strangely enough, it took this long for me to figure out the weight of
what all has happened. For the last few hours, I've felt pretty much
dead... moving is tough, I feel extremely warm (even though it's the
normal temperature here), and I've been on the verge of tears more than
once.
It feels like noone knows what I'm going through... worse, my normal
method of dealing with stuff like this is to send an e-mail to my SO while
crying heavily, and I can't do that because I'm sitting right in the
middle of the household traffic pattern... for example, dad just came
through on his way to the hospital, which is an entirely different thread
and something I don't entirely need to worry about right now.
In any case, mostly I just needed to get this out... help would be nice,
as long as it doesn't involve professional help, because there's no way I
can afford that right now. Oh well.
Thanx in advance... -rt
--
Ryan Tucker <rtuck...@ttgcitn.com> http://www.ttgcitn.com/~rtucker/
GSM/VM/Fax: +15157712865 Box 57083, Pleasant Hill IA 50317-0002
This is where the regulary scheduled newsgroup posting runs off the rails.
-- A. Taylor Stanford, netins.soc
YoYo
>A couple days later came the cleanup... ripping up of carpet, etc.
>Everything went well until it came time to rip up the carpet in my room...
>I couldn't do it :-/ I didn't feel mad, or sad, or angry, or anything
>like that, just sort of... well, dead. Someone else had to do it.
>In any case, mostly I just needed to get this out... help would be nice,
>as long as it doesn't involve professional help, because there's no way I
>can afford that right now. Oh well.
Well, does it help to know that this is *normal*? This kind of depression
is a normal reaction to heavy stress.
(Just to pick up a thread from a while back, this is the kind of thing
where I think antidepressant medication would *not* be the way to go.)
What I would do in this case is simply persevere. Despite feelind "dead",
I think you need to just put your head down and plow through all the crap
that needs to be done. Be extra concientious about doing things right away
and avoid the temptation to procrastinate or avoid things. I don't think
this will help you feel better than you do, but it will keep things from
piling up, which could make the situation worse.
If, a couple of months after this is all over, you still don't feel
better, then it might be time to think about professional help.
--
----YoYo------...@tezcat.com------------and stuff------
"...but Tonto, he was smarter, and one day said, 'Kimosabe -
kiss my ass, I bought a boat, I'm going out to sea.'"
-Lyle Lovett
Josh Brandt
Y'know, a lot of people don't realize how much of who we are is based on
where we choose to live and what we choose to populate the places we live,
as well as the memories of the events that happen in those places, with
those things. Moving on purpose can be hard enough-- even when moving to a
new apartment with my girlfriend, I still got all teary and weepy when we
were packing up her room, the place we'd woken up together so often, and
where'd we'd spent languid afternoons and evenings. I can't imagine what
would happen if we _had_ to move, or how I'd feel if, say, My Room
(capitalized for emphasis) was destroyed somehow... My computers and
synthesizers are in there, and books and music... Projects, things I've
built, a lot of things that I've spent a lot of time with.
I don't know how much it'll help, and you didn't mention where you're
moving, but it is possible to rebuild a life... You'll find a new place and
fill it with new memories, and then you'll be able to look back and miss the
place you lived, but know you still can have a home. And maybe you'll be
able to see that even without a place to call your own, you're still you.
More comfortable, perhaps, in a new place, but _you_ are what makes that
place important. Without you, it's just a room. When you're there, it's
home.
Good luck-- I hope this helps a little...
Josh
--
...said it was heaven just to breathe your air Severed Heads
J. Brandt - mu...@sidehack.gweep.net
Josh Brandt
>(Just to pick up a thread from a while back, this is the kind of thing
>where I think antidepressant medication would *not* be the way to go.)
I think it's a sort of mourning.
>What I would do in this case is simply persevere. Despite feelind "dead",
>I think you need to just put your head down and plow through all the crap
>that needs to be done. Be extra concientious about doing things right away
>and avoid the temptation to procrastinate or avoid things. I don't think
>this will help you feel better than you do, but it will keep things from
>piling up, which could make the situation worse.
Yep. What he said.
rif...@cybernothing.org
>Ryan Tucker <rtucker+rep...@katan.ttgcitn.com> wrote:
>>A couple days later came the cleanup... ripping up of carpet, etc.
>>Everything went well until it came time to rip up the carpet in my room...
>>I couldn't do it :-/ I didn't feel mad, or sad, or angry, or anything
>>like that, just sort of... well, dead. Someone else had to do it.
>>In any case, mostly I just needed to get this out... help would be nice,
>>as long as it doesn't involve professional help, because there's no way I
>>can afford that right now. Oh well.
>Well, does it help to know that this is *normal*? This kind of depression
>is a normal reaction to heavy stress.
Absolutely! Don't think for a moment that you don't have a reason to feel
like crying, Ryan. It's always traumatic to have disasters, even small-scale
ones, hit you at home.
I got fired last week for fucking up (though I wasn't exactly in the most
professional of organizations), and I was pretty bad for a couple of days.
>(Just to pick up a thread from a while back, this is the kind of thing
>where I think antidepressant medication would *not* be the way to go.)
On the other hand, my wife introduced me to St. John's Wort, which is a pretty
neutral herbal suppliment. It seems to help with nervousness and stress relief
as well as keeping me from getting *too* down. Even if the effect is totally
imaginary, it's had zero ill-effects for me, widely available and cheap.
Obviously, YMMV and consult a physician and etc...
rif...@afn.org : It is YOUR god
Jeff The Riffer : They are YOUR rules
Drifter... : YOU burn in Hell!
Homo Postmortemus :