[PMS] It Can Go Away Now Please
Wednesday
No, really, the sobbing fits, they can stop, and the staring at my
apartment which is getting messier and less packed can stop, and the
sense that the world is closing in on me, it can stop, and panicky
for no good reason sensation can stop, and everything can stop now,
everything can stop.
Everything can stop now.
I can stop getting upset by chains of trivial events, like Windows crashing
because it tried to reboot and crashing because of PPP starting up and
crashing because I opened telnet. I can stop getting upset that it's too
hot to clean. I can catch my breath. It can all go away now.
It can all go away now, but *looks at pills* but it won't for four or five
more days.
I think these pills have stopped being useful for anything except birth
control. Arg. No. No, not another PMS round like before hormones, not
the last 48 hours of this feeling like I wanna die, fucking hell, not this
week, I have to fix a Mac this week.
It. can stop. NOW.
please.
--
wedn...@tezcat.com---------wednsday@chiark.greenend.org.uk
Abby Franquemont
In article <6frhpc$o...@huitzilo.tezcat.com>,
Wednesday <wedn...@huitzilo.tezcat.com> wrote:
>No, really, the sobbing fits, they can stop, and the staring at my
>apartment which is getting messier and less packed can stop, and the
>sense that the world is closing in on me, it can stop, and panicky
>for no good reason sensation can stop, and everything can stop now,
>everything can stop.
>
>Everything can stop now.
I imagine it has stopped now, eh?
So I've gotten to do the wrestling with postpartum depression stuff.
I think it's pretty well gone now but there are things that linger.
And it's upsetting because it feels very much outside of my control
(as I think it is because it's essentially hormonal) and I don't
have the latitude to do things I normaly would to beat a bad spate
of depression which is actually very PMS-like in some ways.
>I can stop getting upset by chains of trivial events, like Windows crashing
>because it tried to reboot and crashing because of PPP starting up and
>crashing because I opened telnet. I can stop getting upset that it's too
>hot to clean. I can catch my breath. It can all go away now.
>
>It can all go away now, but *looks at pills* but it won't for four or five
>more days.
Days, you can do. I swear it. I know you can. First of all I've seen
you do days. Second of all, days, you can do. Thing with end in sight,
you can do. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,
and all that.
I have the Mystery Duration Effect. That's to say, no telling how long
any of it will be. Of all the obnoxious things for an exclusively
breastfeeding on demand mom, I got my period back when Edward was only
about 6 weeks old. Most people don't for closer to a year to two years
while they breastfeed. So I'm looking at this situation and thinking,
geeze. What is _this_ supposed to mean? "Gee, Abby, we here at They(tm)
Central have decided that even though you hated the experience of being
pregnant and have not yet adjusted to life with a new baby and have not
come _close_ to getting your own functional body back, it's time for
you to be fertile again! Yes, that's right. Most people would say you'd
barely be allowed to have sex again now and we just thought it would be
nice if you knew full well that you could go right ahead and do this
all again, RIGHT NOW... That's right, you have finally just about reached
a point where you can sneeze while standing up and not piss on yourself,
and we thought you might like to try it AGAIN, and see if it can be any
more miserable. Yes, now that those sensitively placed stitches have
dissolved, and there's nothing there but immobile, pressure-sensitive
scar tissue, we thought you might like to see if you could enjoy the
thrills of getting pregnant again while trying to work through having
pain and tension in the process of something you used to like, back in
the foggiest recesses of your memory..."
*scream* *want to throw something*
"Also, we thought that you might appreciate having the mad hormonal
cycle that includes PMS once more. Yes, let's heap PMS on top of the
last remaining shards of the baby blues. We just didn't think you
had enough to deal with yet. We thought that now, also, would be a great
time because you're suffering from isolation while you spend days at
home without concrete work to do or without human contact that doesn't
involve feeding or dirty diapers."
Now now. Moms don't throw things. Moms keep their cool.
"Also, just for more fun, we thought we would make your grandpa die
and you can't make the funeral."
>I think these pills have stopped being useful for anything except birth
>control. Arg. No. No, not another PMS round like before hormones, not
>the last 48 hours of this feeling like I wanna die, fucking hell, not this
>week, I have to fix a Mac this week.
>
>It. can stop. NOW.
>
>please.
Does asking nicely help?
Well anyway. My sympathies.
--
Abby Franquemont Nothing cures insomnia like the realization
J. Random BOFH that it's time to get up. --Fortune program
Wednesday
In article <6glkbi$ohf$1...@ucan.foad.org>,
Abby Franquemont <ab...@foad.org> wrote:
>Wednesday <wedn...@huitzilo.tezcat.com> wrote:
>>Everything can stop now.
>
>I imagine it has stopped now, eh?
Oddly enough, no, it didn't. Aside from being three days late, I forgot:
this is Easter season, and Easter season means Wednesday gets psycho
depressed. (It's a long story and it belongs elsewhere.)
>So I've gotten to do the wrestling with postpartum depression stuff.
>I think it's pretty well gone now but there are things that linger.
>And it's upsetting because it feels very much outside of my control
>(as I think it is because it's essentially hormonal) and I don't
>have the latitude to do things I normaly would to beat a bad spate
>of depression which is actually very PMS-like in some ways.
What would that latitude entail?
>>It can all go away now, but *looks at pills* but it won't for four or five
>>more days.
>
>Days, you can do. I swear it. I know you can. First of all I've seen
>you do days. Second of all, days, you can do. Thing with end in sight,
>you can do. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye,
>and all that.
I have chocolate. I mean, I don't usually do this -- I had gotten so used
to not having chocolate that it usually doesn't occur to me -- but I swear,
I got groceries last night and half of them are chocolate.
>I have the Mystery Duration Effect. That's to say, no telling how long
>any of it will be. Of all the obnoxious things for an exclusively
>breastfeeding on demand mom, I got my period back when Edward was only
>about 6 weeks old. Most people don't for closer to a year to two years
>while they breastfeed. So I'm looking at this situation and thinking,
>geeze. What is _this_ supposed to mean? "Gee, Abby, we here at They(tm)
>Central have decided that even though you hated the experience of being
>pregnant and have not yet adjusted to life with a new baby and have not
>come _close_ to getting your own functional body back, it's time for
>you to be fertile again!
Ugggghhhhhhh.
>Yes, that's right. Most people would say you'd
>barely be allowed to have sex again now and we just thought it would be
>nice if you knew full well that you could go right ahead and do this
>all again, RIGHT NOW... That's right, you have finally just about reached
>a point where you can sneeze while standing up and not piss on yourself,
>and we thought you might like to try it AGAIN, and see if it can be any
>more miserable. Yes, now that those sensitively placed stitches have
>dissolved, and there's nothing there but immobile, pressure-sensitive
>scar tissue, we thought you might like to see if you could enjoy the
>thrills of getting pregnant again while trying to work through having
>pain and tension in the process of something you used to like, back in
>the foggiest recesses of your memory..."
Well, to be fair, having your period != "do this thing."
>"Also, we thought that you might appreciate having the mad hormonal
>cycle that includes PMS once more. Yes, let's heap PMS on top of the
>last remaining shards of the baby blues. We just didn't think you
>had enough to deal with yet. We thought that now, also, would be a great
>time because you're suffering from isolation while you spend days at
>home without concrete work to do or without human contact that doesn't
>involve feeding or dirty diapers."
*grumbles* *grumbles at excessive airfares to california* *grumbles*
>"Also, just for more fun, we thought we would make your grandpa die
>and you can't make the funeral."
Oh god ow. BTDT. *hug* *REALLY grumbles at airfares*
>Does asking nicely help?
Nope. :P
--
wedn...@tezcat.com ======================================================
"...by God I *KNOW* what this network is for, and you can't have it." -- RA
YoYo
Stephanie da Silva <ari...@taronga.com> wrote:
>In article <6glkbi$ohf$1...@ucan.foad.org>,
>Abby Franquemont <ab...@foad.org> wrote:
>
>>any of it will be. Of all the obnoxious things for an exclusively
>>breastfeeding on demand mom, I got my period back when Edward was only
>>about 6 weeks old. Most people don't for closer to a year to two years
>>while they breastfeed.
>
>This is one of those Breastfeeding Myths. A rather common one; I've met
>several women with two babies about a year apart because they believed
>one couldn't get pregnant while nursing. My menses came back almost
>immediately as well, but was very erratic, with 35-50 day cycles. Kind
>of bugged me, the doctor gave me something to put it back on track.
It's not a myth. There have been studies. I can't name any right off the
top of my head, but I distinctly remember hearing about one on NPR several
months ago.
Naturally, individual experiences will vary, but statistically, the
likelihood of getting pregnant during breastfeeding is a lot lower.
--
----YoYo------...@tezcat.com------------and stuff------
E Pluribus Unix
Abby Franquemont
In article <6glo2i$t...@huitzilo.tezcat.com>,
Wednesday <wedn...@huitzilo.tezcat.com> wrote:
>In article <6glkbi$ohf$1...@ucan.foad.org>,
>Abby Franquemont <ab...@foad.org> wrote:
>>>Everything can stop now.
>>
>>I imagine it has stopped now, eh?
>
>Oddly enough, no, it didn't. Aside from being three days late, I forgot:
>this is Easter season, and Easter season means Wednesday gets psycho
>depressed. (It's a long story and it belongs elsewhere.)
So sorry.
>>So I've gotten to do the wrestling with postpartum depression stuff.
>>I think it's pretty well gone now but there are things that linger.
>>And it's upsetting because it feels very much outside of my control
>>(as I think it is because it's essentially hormonal) and I don't
>>have the latitude to do things I normaly would to beat a bad spate
>>of depression which is actually very PMS-like in some ways.
>
>What would that latitude entail?
Oh... things like being able to say, "Allright, this has been a long
day," and, rolling a cigarette, head to the neighborhood bar and kick
a pinball machine around while swearing and drinking beer to let off
some steam. Haven't done that in, well, a lifetime. Not that that's
bad, but then that would have been one thing I would do, and it would
entail basic human interaction that didn't involve diapers.
Or, heck, human interaction at all... conversation with grownups...
things like that. I suppose I could kiboze my spool for entertainment.
>I have chocolate. I mean, I don't usually do this -- I had gotten so used
>to not having chocolate that it usually doesn't occur to me -- but I swear,
>I got groceries last night and half of them are chocolate.
I should count my blessings that Edward seems unaffected by anything I
eat. Some babies, they say, can't handle it if their moms eat chocolate.
>Well, to be fair, having your period != "do this thing."
No... just means "is definitely possible." I feel oddly affronted by
the mere idea. It's also like, "Great, couldn't I have gotten over this
nasty part fisrt?" Ah well.
>*grumbles* *grumbles at excessive airfares to california* *grumbles*
>
>>"Also, just for more fun, we thought we would make your grandpa die
>>and you can't make the funeral."
>
>Oh god ow. BTDT. *hug* *REALLY grumbles at airfares*
Thank you. I miss him a lot... he was who evryone always said I got the
geek gene from, and I believe it. When I was a little girl and everyone
gave me pink dresses, he gave me physics texts and things to take apart
and put back together. He was a really amazing man.
>>Does asking nicely help?
>
>Nope. :P
Fine, then I guess I'll try being a bitch about it.
Abby Franquemont
In article <6gua4a$2...@bonkers.taronga.com>,>The myth is breastfeeding is a form of birth control. The myth is
>you can't get pregnant while nursing. Obviously you can. The myth
>is you don't have periods while nursing. Obviously one does. I
>suspect it goes to both ends of the spectrum, from women who have
>normal periods to women who don't menstruate at all.
I imagine so as well. I just admit I felt particularly irked given the
huge numbers of breastfeeding zealots who are all, "Oh, and then you
won't get your period, and you'll lose a trillion pounds in 2 seconds,
and you'll get a high out of it, and..." and all their propagating
so many myths.
I guess maybe if you're that equally mythical pregnant woman who just
loves every second of it... heh.
>I didn't say that there's no effect; obviously there is, it made my
>periods erratic which continued even after I stopped nursing.
Mine would appear to be the clockwork 28 day cycle now. I can't help
thinking there must be some interpretation possible, though rationally,
I doubt very much that there is.
>But like I said, I've run into a number of women who thought you
>couldn't get pregnant while nursing who found out the hard way that
>it wasn't true.
And I'm thrilled not to be among those women, at least.
>Maybe myth is the wrong term. How about misconception? Old wives'
>tales?
I think myth is fine, personally.
YoYo
Stephanie da Silva <ari...@taronga.com> wrote:
>I didn't say that there's no effect; obviously there is,
>But like I said, I've run into a number of women who thought you
>couldn't get pregnant while nursing who found out the hard way that
>it wasn't true.
I guess when it comes to reproduction, unless you're talking surgical
sterilization, the words "can't" and "won't" really shouldn't be used.
Abby Franquemont
In article <6h0un9$o...@bonkers.taronga.com>,
Stephanie da Silva <ari...@taronga.com> wrote:
[getting back to the old thing here...]
>I think a lot of that is because of the attitudes they had to fight
>against. The modern woman doesn't have to breast feed after all, she
>can just stick her kid on the modern equivalent of breastfeeding -
>the bottle. It's kind of bizarre how LeLeche Leaguers will do a sort
>of baby-feeder's club. Sit around and nurse and chat and socialize.
>I'm kind of like o-kay.
Well for me, where I largely grew up in Peru, everyone breastfed
their kids because, well, it was the rural Andes. But it was just
a total non-issue. I mean I never thought about it all as being an
issue, till I was in the States as a teenager and someone made some
kind of comment and I was completley surprised. Then I didn't
think about it again till I was pregnant and became aware of all
these support groups and movements and political elements to it,
not to mention the general literature and documentation for how you
are supposed to do it... some of it just struck me really bizarre.
I guess what it amounts to for me is, I don't want to make a huge
gigantic statement with the whole thing, I want it to be a non-
issue, so that's how I treat it. It has yet to be an issue. But I
don't think my entire social life should revolve exclusively around
my decision to breastfeed Edward. It's not that kind of a thing.
It's how he eats. It's how tons of other babies eat too, but that
doesn't mean I have anything in common with their moms. And I don't
feel the need to sit around with tons of other women who are doing
it, so that I can feel like it's okay.
I mean I like to chat and socialize. But I'd just as soon chat and
socialize with people with whom I can talk about other kinds of
stuff too, ya know? The whole La Leche League credo seems to be
very oriented towards moms who don't have work other than being moms.
I would snap like a brittle twig.
>I wanted to nurse Jonathan but couldn't because he was in the hospital
>for so long. The personnel really weren't a lot of help, they were
>like use the breast pump religiously and the milk will come. It
>didn't and then Challenger blew up and it all sort of dried up (I
>was stressed anyways). But with Alex, it was no problem.
I will say that I think the whole La Leche thang does a good job of
trying to provide people who might maybe be helpful in those kinds
of cases. I just, like, I dunno, I don't like the weird clique
element of it or something.
>But then I ran into the other attitudes. I wasn't blase enough to just
>pull a tit out in public and stick Alex on it, so I'd toss a receiving
>blanket over my shoulder and slip her under. Then I'd get people
>walking by craning their neck trying to see under the blanket. So
>yeah, I can see what the LeLecher's are as aggressive as they are.
>I mean in Texas, it's a crime to expose your nipples in public (althugh
>I believe they don't consider nursing to be an obscene gesture).
Yeah, I think my experience with it all is probably real differnet
a) because of growing up where I did, and b) because now I'm in
Califnordia.
>I didn't wean Alex, she weaned herself. I had gotten a call from a
>hospital - they wanted me to participate in a study, but I had to
>get Alex on a bottle for so many hours each day. She refused to take
>a bottle so I couldn't participate. We decided that we needed to get
>her on a bottle and went through all the different kinds of nipples
>we could find. The one she took was the one advertised as "closest
>to mother herself." Then once we got her on the bottle, she refused
>the breast, because bottlefeeding takes less effort. We thought it
>was interesting.
I think so too. Kids are just all different, too, ya know? Like,
they aren't a total formulaic thing, do this and then that will
happen, then do this.... and everyone's always all hip to judge
everyone else.
On the plus side my feelings of depression and isolation are getting
much much better since I quit the job I didn't like and found a new
one. I can't say I'm getting out of the house much more but I do
have a context for intellectual pursuits, and that makes just an
enormous difference.
I'm sure there are those who feel I'm doing my child a disservice by
doing things like working at a computer while he snoozes on my lap.
Oh well. I think I'd have been doing him a bigger one by becoming a
depressed housewife, just 'cause of how all of that was affecting me
during the maternity leave.
So I guess my magic formula for what to do about being depressed is,
well, DO SOMETHING. Anything. I find when I get depressed I can get
stuck stewing about it, and then the self-pity kicks in and makes it
worse and worse. As long as I don't do anything but ponder it, it
never gets any better.
And I guess my struggle is largely with figuring out how to do
things, like, anything, these days. Heh.