The World of Startrek--David Gerrold
Jordan E Kalpin
came across a small section that I found really funny. I don't like
posting other people's stuff to the net but since the book is out of print
I will make an exception...Hope you enjoy it!
OPEN QUOTE
A "formula" story is the pat story, the easy story, the one that gets written
by the book. It's a compilation of all the tried and true tricks. It's six
devices in search of a plot. It's a hero-vs-villain story. It's generally a
waste of time.
With Startrek, it might work something like this:
The Enterprise approaches a planet. Something happens. Anything. Kirk, Spock
and McCoy get captured by six foot green women in steel brassieres. They take
away the spacemen's communicators because they offend the computer-god that
these women worship.
Meanwhile, Scotty discovers that he's having trouble with the doubletalk
generator, and he can't fix it-the Enterprise will shrivel into a prune in two
hours unless something is done immediately. But Scotty can't get in touch
with the Captain...
Of course, he can't...Kirk, Spock and McCoy have been brought before the high
priest of the cosmic computer, who decides that they are unfit to live. All
except the Vulcan, who has interesting ears. She puts Spock into a mind
zapping machine which leaves him quoting poetry (17-syllable Japanese haiku
verses) for the next two acts. McCoy can't do a damn thing for him, "I'm a
doctor, not a critic!" Meanwhile, it's been more than two hours since Kirk's
last piece of ass and he starts getting twitchy. McCoy can't do anything for
him either. So Kirk seduces the cute priestess--there always is at least one.
On the ship, sparks fly from Chekov's control panel and everybody falls out
of their chairs. Uhura tries opening the hailing frequencies and when she
can't, admits to being frightened. Scotty figures only fifteen minutes are
left. Already the crew members are starting to get wrinkled as the starship
begins "prunifying."
Down on the planet, Kirk, Spock and McCoy are being held in the dungeon--why
is it always a dungeon?--until the girl he has seduced decides that she has
never been laid so good in her life and discards all of her years-long training
and lifetime-held beliefs to recue him, conviently remembering to bring him
his communicator and phaser. Abruptly, Spock reveals how hard he has been
working to hide his emotions and then snaps back to normal. Thinking
logically, he and Kirk then drive the cosmic computer crazy with illogic-
naturally, it can't cope; its designers never having been as smart as our
Earthmen--and it shorts out all its fuses and releases the Enterprise, just
in time for the last commercial. For a tag, the seduced priestess promises
Kirk that she will work to build a new civilization on her planet--just for
Kirk--one where women's lib and steel brassieres will be illegal.
Sound familiar?
It should. It's a compendium of all the bad plot devices that ever wore out
their welcome on too many Star Trek episodes.
END QUOTE
I thought that this was really funny and I hope that everyone else did. I
suppose having been a fan for so long, I never really looked at ST in this
way...I was too busy enjoying myself.
Sorry it anyone didn't agree or objected to me posting this. Just to be safe
I will again mention that the above quote is from:
"The World of Star Trek" by David Gerrold (DelRey/Ballantine)
I think the book is out of print but if it is not someone let me know. Also,
if anyone knows how or where to get the Star Trek Concordance I would also
appreciate some E-mail. Someone here in Toronto said it is also out of print.
Live long and prosper....
Jordan Kalpin
University of Toronto
Mechanical Engineering
kal...@utecfc.UUCP
mike knudsen
> A "formula" story is the pat story, the easy story, the one that gets written
> by the book. It's a compilation of all the tried and true tricks. It's six
> With Startrek, it might work something like this:
[the story]
> END QUOTE
>
> I thought that this was really funny and I hope that everyone else did. I
> suppose having been a fan for so long, I never really looked at ST in this
> way...I was too busy enjoying myself.
>
> Sorry it anyone didn't agree or objected to me posting this. Just to be safe
> I will again mention that the above quote is from:
> "The World of Star Trek" by David Gerrold (DelRey/Ballantine)
>
> I think the book is out of print but if it is not someone let me know. Also,
>
> Jordan Kalpin
> kal...@utecfc.UUCP
Well, I laughed out loud the first time I read that in the
book. It's just a few months since I got the book (paperback)
in a local bookstore chain (Crown Books), so I bet it's still
in print. Gerrold points out that alost every episode has to
provide an excuse why the transporter can't be used to just
beam Kirk et al out of danger; loss of communicators is
the most overworked method.
Gerrold makes some more controversial points: that much of the
special effects could have been replaced by better writing,
that less violent solutions could have been found in many
episodes, etc. Lots of top-class literary criticism.
This book is well worth its price. A chapter is devoted to each
of the first three movies, and the analysis of the first film
is especially sensitive (but then I'm one of the minority who
think the first movie is great).
mike k
Roger J. Noe
> of the first three movies, and the analysis of the first film
> is especially sensitive (but then I'm one of the minority who
> think the first movie is great).
>
> mike k
Count me in that minority. And I wanted to note that the second edition
of Gerrold's book is in print; the first edition came out somewhere around
1971, I think.
--
Roger Noe ihnp4!riccb!rjnoe
Dave Rickel
Recently, one of our PBS stations has been airing a british "sf" (term is
a bit dubious--there is less science in the series than in Star Trek (or
even Dr. Who). For instance, they seem to have no idea of what a galaxy is)
series called Blakes 7. They also have a transporter (called, in this case,
a teleporter). People who are supposed to be beamed up or down must wear
teleporter bracelets. It is a bit disappointing to find out that the british
can't write any better than the americans--in every other episode (rough
statistics) the crew beams down, gets conked over the head, and has their
teleport bracelets removed. I remember wondering when I saw the third or
fourth show (when they introduced the teleporter) how they were going to
avoid the Star Trek transporter problem. The answer, of course, is that they
weren't--they were going to discover the problem (and the same cheap solutions)
for themselves.
What makes the thing even more annoying is that neither the intelligent nor
the paranoid crewperson has taken the obvious step of bringing along a
backup (say worn around the ankle inside their flashy boots) (and noone ever
thinks of bringing along a backup weapon, but i guess that would be cheating).
In a similar vein, the only time i remember the Enterprise personnel being
intelligent and bringing along a backup locator facility was in the Nazi
episode (Patterns of Force?), and, of course, they weren't used for that,
but to make a silly laser to blast the lock out of the cell. By the was,
has anyone bothered calculating how much energy was produced by the laser?
I think its power source was a 40 watt or thereabouts bulb. It was
intercepting maybe 1% of that--a .4 watt laser? call it 400 mW. Sounds
a bit more impressive. How long would it take a 400 mW laser to cut through
a link on a pair of handcuffs, or to cut through a lock? It would seem that
the beam would have to be much more concentrated than it was shown--less than
.01 mm in diameter, at a guess. Probably much less.
Hmm. I seem to remember something about a laser beacon in a different show.
Sound familiar? Of course, it didn't work.
david rickel
Tom Nadas
I'm part of that minority that loves ST-TMP, too. The reissue of
Gerrold's book is from Bluejay.
Robert J. Sawyer
in Toronto
c/o
--
Tom Nadas
UUCP: {decvax,linus,ihnp4,uw-beaver,allegra,utzoo}!utcsri!tom
CSNET: tom@toronto
p...@wucec2.uucp
>> "The World of Star Trek" by David Gerrold (DelRey/Ballantine)
>>
>> I think the book is out of print but if it is not someone let me know. Also,
>
>in a local bookstore chain (Crown Books), so I bet it's still
>in print.
There have been two editions of THE WORLD OF STAR TREK; the
first was written in 1973 and is (as far as I know) out of
print, while the second came out in 1984 about the same time as
ST3:TSFS did. It is indeed an excellent reference for Trek
fans; I am about to post some information from it concerning two
topics that have been discussed here recently.
First, regarding STAR TREK Adventure-style computer games, a
quote (remember that this information is now almost two years
out of date; no small thing in this field):
"The most sophisticated and complex STAR TREK computer game
of all is STAR TREK Colossus. It took Dr. Phillip E. Bailey
more than two years to write, and it is obviously a labor of
love; the game fills two floppy disks, and the rules fill a
third. The documentation includes a detailed set of blueprints
for the Enterprise, and a complete crew and equipment list. The
player is not only responsible for moving his characters
throughout the ship--putting out fires, delivering dilithium
crystals to replace broken ones, etc.--at the same time, he must
do battle with a Klingon battlecruiser that is stalking the
Enterprise. The game also produces a variety of rather
startling graphics; using only the alphanumeric characters of a
standard video terminal, the program displays long, medium, and
close-range scanning views of the Klingon battlecruiser--
approaching, retreating, flanking, and even exploding, should
the player be skilled enough to outfight the Klingon commander.
(There are several different battlecruisers and captains. Your
computer will give you the appropriate identifications when the
ship shows up on the screen.) There are also starbases for
refueling, repair and replacements of injured or deceased
crew.[*] (When the real Enterprise is finally, built, this will
be the simulator they'll train Kirk and Spock on.)
----------------------------------------------------------------
[*]I was so upset when I accidentally killed Dr. McCoy that I
haven't played the game since."
Second, on the matter of scripts existing for episodes which
were not produced because of the cancellation: NBC commissioned
only half a season's worth of episodes right from the start of
the third year; there would have been no scripts waiting around
to be filmed when the series was cancelled. On the other hand,
David mentions some story ideas which were actually pursued as
far a script form, but not so far as to be actually produced.
De Forest Kelley, for example, wanted to do a story in which
McCoy (a Southerner) and Uhura were trapped on a planet on which
the blacks were the masters and the whites were the slaves.
Sorry to have gone on for so long. Thanks for listening.
--pH
/*
* "You Klingon bastards, you've killed my son. You Klingon
* bastards, you've KILLED my SON! You Klingon bastards--you've
* killed . . . my son . . ."
*/
Garry Archer
> a bit dubious--there is less science in the series than in Star Trek (or
> even Dr. Who). For instance, they seem to have no idea of what a galaxy is)
> series called Blakes 7. They also have a transporter (called, in this case,
> a teleporter). People who are supposed to be beamed up or down must wear
> teleporter bracelets. It is a bit disappointing to find out that the british
> can't write any better than the americans--in every other episode (rough
> statistics) the crew beams down, gets conked over the head, and has their
> teleport bracelets removed. I remember wondering when I saw the third or
> fourth show (when they introduced the teleporter) how they were going to
> avoid the Star Trek transporter problem. The answer, of course, is that they
> weren't--they were going to discover the problem (and the same cheap
Oh dear. So "Blake's 7" made it over here after all. It was a particularly
poor Sci-Fi offering. The only reason anyone (including meself) would want to
watch it is purely to watch ANYTHING Sci-Fi on the telly, no matter how bad!
If you have the opportunity to see it, there's nothing to stop you of course,
but remember that the B.B.C. didn't drop it for nothing. Speaking of watching
anything Sci-Fi on the telly, I even used to watch a "children's hour" show
back home in England 10 (or even 15) years ago, called "The Tomorrow People".
I believe that one has been shown over here as well. Any Trekkies ever seen
that one?
--
Garry Archer ihnp4!hsi!archer
Health Systems International
New Haven, CT 06511
USA
Michael N. Washington
You can count me in on that minority also. In watching the movie again,
I liked it. If I had produced it, I may have changed a few things such
as the ending, but that doesn't matter. I liked ST:TMP.
"Live Long and Prosper!"
Michael N. Washington
TRW E&DS Redondo Beach, Ca. 90278
{ucbvax,decvax,hplabs}!trwrb!trwrba!mnw
Jonathan D.
(the "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha..." by everyone at the end is PRICELESS!
Its a wonder Jay Leno hasnt attacked the ridiculous "everyone-has-a-
good-chuckle-at-the-end standard, overused by TV lately, it fits in
with his TV material perfectly!)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
But, one thing that he HAS done is complain about the 'Evil Twin' theory
that all bad tv shows (st? Naah:-) have to have some sort of episode where
one of the main characters has to have an evil twin emerge from somewhere
and try to ruin the character. Trek has violated this not oce, but TWICE!!!
The episodes are 'Mirror, Mirror' and 'The Enemy Within'.
Anothger good joke he did that involving Star Trek was back when the
Ringling Brothers' Circus was showing off that 'unicorn' animal. He
really couldn't believe it. "What are they gonna show off next, live
Klingon prisoners???" Priceless.
--
Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: tru...@blue.rutgers.edu
uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!blue!trudel
Personally, I like my flying brains dark and evil.
Randy Murray
> >> (but then I'm one of the minority who
> >> think the first movie is great).
> >>
> >> mike k
> >
> >Count me in that minority. And I wanted to note that the second edition
> >of Gerrold's book is in print; the first edition came out somewhere around
> >1971, I think.
> >--
> >Roger Noe ihnp4!riccb!rjnoe
>
> You can count me in on that minority also. In watching the movie again,
> I liked it. If I had produced it, I may have changed a few things such
> as the ending, but that doesn't matter. I liked ST:TMP.
>
> "Live Long and Prosper!"
>
> Michael N. Washington
> TRW E&DS Redondo Beach, Ca. 90278
>
> {ucbvax,decvax,hplabs}!trwrb!trwrba!mnw
my college buddies had to physically restrain me outside the theatre.
When the first drumroll sounded and the title flashed on the screen
I reached down and ripped the arm off the theatre seat. Now that's
what I call enthusiasm! One of my buddies took it with him and it is
now apart of my ST collection.
R. Murray
"Oh no, not again."
Ken Arromdee
>anything Sci-Fi on the telly, I even used to watch a "children's hour" show
>back home in England 10 (or even 15) years ago, called "The Tomorrow People".
>I believe that one has been shown over here as well. Any Trekkies ever seen
>that one?
Yes. 5 years or so back it was on the pay-TV channel Nickelodeon. Seemed
like typical television sci-fi.
Adric of Alzarius
>poor Sci-Fi offering. The only reason anyone (including meself) would want to
>watch it is purely to watch ANYTHING Sci-Fi on the telly, no matter how bad!
>If you have the opportunity to see it, there's nothing to stop you of course,
>but remember that the B.B.C. didn't drop it for nothing. Speaking of watching
>anything Sci-Fi on the telly, I even used to watch a "children's hour" show
>back home in England 10 (or even 15) years ago, called "The Tomorrow People".
>I believe that one has been shown over here as well. Any Trekkies ever seen
>that one?
Yes I have seen "The Tomorrow People." It was shown here a few years ago
on Nickelodeon. I thought it was somewhat interesting yet mediocre.
Any other opinions?
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Me, not allowed??? I'm allowed everywhere!" -- The Doctor
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph P. Ogulin
UUCP: seismo!umcp-cs \ BITNET: INS_AJPO@JHUVMS
ihnp4!whuxcc > !jhunix!ins_ajpo P99I1798@JHUVM
allegra!hopkins / CSNET: ins_...@jhunix.CSNET
ARPA: ins_ajpo%jhunix...@wiscvm.WISC.EDU
Mary Anne Espenshade
> I remember wondering when I saw the third or
> fourth show (when they introduced the teleporter) how they were going to
> avoid the Star Trek transporter problem. The answer, of course, is that
> they weren't--they were going to discover the problem (and the same cheap
> solutions) for themselves.
his favorite shows - look in particular at the logo in the opening
credits, unfortunately that doesn't mean he copied the best features.
> (and noone ever thinks of bringing along a backup weapon, but i guess that
> would be cheating).
Not only would it be cheating, Zen (the sentient computer controlling the ship)
won't allow it. If someone holding a weapon attempts to pick up another one,
the second is red hot to that person, but anyone without a weapon can pick it
up.
--
Mary Anne Espenshade
...!{allegra, seismo}!umcp-cs!aplcen!aplvax!mae
KW Heuer
>Oh dear. So "Blake's 7" made it over here after all.... Speaking of watching
>anything Sci-Fi on the telly, I even used to watch a "children's hour" show
>back home in England 10 (or even 15) years ago, called "The Tomorrow People".
>I believe that one has been shown over here as well. Any Trekkies ever seen
>that one?
I caught a few episodes on cable a while back. I was quite amused by how
low-budget it was. Bad acting, bad plot, bad special-effects, bad science.
They also had some sort of teleportation ("jaunt"), but I don't remember
whether it was a natural ability or a gadget. I didn't see enough episodes
to determine if/how they handled the "Star Trek transporter problem".
Chris Ambler
*** PHASE THIS LINE WITH YOUR DERQUIPSLVAXET ***
Ah, the Tomorrow People! Shown on Nickelodeon (sp?) cable up to about
last year. Now THERE was a show! Sure it's cheesey (Dr. Who?), but
c'mon! It's for Kids! I, personally, like my computers to have British
accents!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|-Spock! (Christopher J. Ambler, University of California, Riverside)|
| |
| ...ucbvax!ucdavis!ucrmath!hope!spock |
| |
| -"Captain, I see no reason to bother Starfleet..." |
|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
Shelli Meyers
> think the first movie is great).
Well, I agree with whoever said that by the time the ST:TMP came out
we were starved for anything besides more reruns...but seriously,
after II and III, is there ANY comparison???
--
"Oh yeah, right, you expect me to AGREE with you?"
***********************************************
Shelli Meyers, aka Queen Susan of Narnia
UUCP: ...!harvard!bu-cs!sam
ARPA: sam%bu-cs...@csnet-relay.arpa
REAL LIFE: I dunno. Somewhere in Boston.
************************************************
ix312
Blake's 7. But, I, of course, will follow the crowd. I am trying to
generate interest in starting a net.media.sf/fanatasy to help avoid this
problem. Such a newsgroup could include Dr. Who as well as other tv
related sf. (I don't include Star Trek in that list.) I hope that you'll
give that a thinkabout.
Back to Blake's 7. While I agree with everything stated below I still
like the show.
In article <3...@hsi.UUCP>, arc...@hsi.UUCP (Garry Archer) writes:
> > Recently, one of our PBS stations has been airing a british "sf" (term is
> > a bit dubious--there is less science in the series than in Star Trek (or
> > even Dr. Who). For instance, they seem to have no idea of what a galaxy is)
> > series called Blakes 7. They also have a transporter (called, in this case,
> > a teleporter). People who are supposed to be beamed up or down must wear
> > teleporter bracelets. It is a bit disappointing to find out that the british
> > can't write any better than the americans--in every other episode (rough
> > statistics) the crew beams down, gets conked over the head, and has their
> > teleport bracelets removed. I remember wondering when I saw the third or
> > fourth show (when they introduced the teleporter) how they were going to
> > avoid the Star Trek transporter problem. The answer, of course, is that they
> > weren't--they were going to discover the problem (and the same cheap
> > solutions for themselves.
>
> Oh dear. So "Blake's 7" made it over here after all. It was a particularly
> poor Sci-Fi offering.
>
I admit that I've only seen a few eposides out of the first season.
(perhaps like Star Trek it went downhill in the later seasons) I will
also admit that it does suffer from less than fantastic plots, bad
special effects (I only worry about special effects on the BIG screen,
on tv they all suffer) and a very low budget. At least I hope they can
claim a low budget.
Also its creator and only writer (so far), Terry Nation, must be one
H-LL of a Star Trek fan. Some shows have been merely MINOR rewrites of
ST episodes and of course there is that teleporter.
But the characters do have their own personalities, (ok a lot of that
too was borrowed from ST). But they are a bit different.
Now that it sounds like I've put the show down I'll tell you that I
really do like it - a lot, perhaps partly because it is such a take off
of Star Trek as well as others.
If you want to watch great Science Fiction go rent a tape of 2001 or
2010. If you want to watch good science fiction go watch a rerun of
Star Trek for the umpteenth time. I find that B-7 is a lot of fun, not
great, just amusing. And at this point not a rerun.
ME
(I know I'm entitled to my own opinion; it's my assumption that everyone
else is entitled to it also that keeps getting me into trouble.)
Chris Ambler
> my college buddies had to physically restrain me outside the theatre.
> When the first drumroll sounded and the title flashed on the screen
> I reached down and ripped the arm off the theatre seat. Now that's
> what I call enthusiasm! One of my buddies took it with him and it is
> now apart of my ST collection.
>
> R. Murray
Well, since we are talking about enthusiasm, I remember when STTMP (known
as 'stamp' to us...) came out. I was still in high school (ok, so I'm young)
and my best friend and I were so happy that we skipped school to wait outside
the theatre for the movie. We got there at 08:00 for the 20:00 showing. We
were there alone until around noon, when the line started to grow. I must
say the high point was having dinner at 17:00 (we made a McDonalds run) and
watching the local episode (Tribbles, no less) on my friend's battery TV,
with around half the line watching with us. The local paper came and
took our photos and we had a rep for about the next month.
PS, we did this for ST2TWOK, too.
-Spock! (Christopher J. Ambler, University of California, Riverside)
Tom Nadas
I rate the movies in the following descending order of
preference:
STAR TREK--THE MOTION PICTURE
STAR TREK II--THE WRATH OF KHAN
GODZILLA 1985 :-)
STAR TREK III--SPOCK'S BRAIN (re-make)
Chuck Forsberg WA7KGX
>
>I rate the movies in the following descending order of
>preference:
>
>STAR TREK--THE MOTION PICTURE
>STAR TREK II--THE WRATH OF KHAN
>GODZILLA 1985 :-)
>STAR TREK III--SPOCK'S BRAIN (re-make)
But Godzilla 1985 isn't stereo!
Regards STTMP - which version? The original version, or the "special
edition" which contained the good parts of the additional footage
shown on ABC? It's a tough choice for me because I have LaserDiscs of
both versions. The first version was one of the first LaserDiscs made
in Pioneer's Kofu Plant without benefit of CX or CAA. The "special
edition" has some neat scenes added which greatly clarify the story line.
Unfortunately, some cretin at Paramount or Pioneer chopped off most of
the low bass and high treble, greatly diminishing enjoyment of the disc.
Chuck Forsberg WA7KGX ...!tektronix!reed!omen!caf CIS:70715,131
Author of Professional-YAM communications Tools for PCDOS and Unix
Omen Technology Inc 17505-V NW Sauvie Island Road Portland OR 97231
Voice: 503-621-3406 TeleGodzilla: 621-3746 300/1200 L.sys entry for omen:
omen Any ACU 1200 1-503-621-3746 se:--se: link ord: Giznoid in:--in: uucp
omen!/usr/spool/uucppublic/FILES lists all uucp-able files, updated hourly
M...@psuvma.bitnet
>
>I rate the movies in the following descending order of
>preference:
>
>STAR TREK--THE MOTION PICTURE
>STAR TREK II--THE WRATH OF KHAN
>GODZILLA 1985 :-)
>STAR TREK III--SPOCK'S BRAIN (re-make)
>
preference:
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Heaven's Gate
Star Trek: The Motionless Picture (Where Nomad has gone before)
I haven't seen the Special Edition of ST:TMP. From what I've heard about
the restored scenes though, it'd be rated a very close third behind ST III.
(Or maybe second. It's tough to say when you've only read about it.)
-------
------------------
James D. Maloy | THIS SPACE |
The Pennsylvania State University | FOR RENT |
UUCP Path: ihnp4!psuvax1!psuvma.bitnet!miq | Call 555-1723 |
------------------
"I am pleased to see we have differences. May we together become
greater than the sum of both of us."
-- Surak of Vulcan