Sneakin' with my sweetie...
rlgvax!thekid
Andy, I think I disagree. 28 Apr 83
Many times I will get interested enough in a woman to ask her
out without knowing enough about her to know if she's dating someone
else. Once, I even dated someone for a month before I knew that she
was living with someone. If the MOTOS doesn't want to tell you, you
aren't going to find out.
Also, I knew a lady for 3 years. We went for pizza regularly,
played backgammon etc. etc. She was dating a guy the entire time.
Finally, she asked me what was wrong with her that kept me from dating her.
Many women will regularly go out with men that they consider to be
`replaceable'. Let's face it, I often go out with women I like, but
would NEVER marry. Is that wrong? Am I supposed to sit at home until
I meet Ms. Right? It's very difficult to find out if she's going out
with a guy because they both like to fly model planes, or because he's
the wet in her water.
If I like a woman, I will ask her out. For me, if she's married
or a posslq she's off limits. Otherwise, if she thinks a relationship
with me would be fun she'll say `yes', if she doesn't, she'll say `no'.
I haven't been dishonest, I haven't been devious. You said that `you
wouldn't want someone sneaking around with your sweetie behind your back'.
True, neither would I. But I don't feel that I owe the boyfriend anything
but honesty. If he approaches me, I will be honest with him. If the MOTOS
isn't honest with him, that isn't my problem, and if I find out about it,
well, she's not the kind of woman I want to see. I think you're taking a
lot away from the woman in the relationship. If she leaves because he
says `Well, he's just a rotten guy' after you all had a fight, I figure
you got lucky.
thekid
...![ brl-bmd, seismo, mcnc, we13, lime ]!rlgvax!thekid
p.s. When this does come up in a relationship, I usually explain that
I don't mind if she sees other people (To be honest, I often reserve
that privilege for myself) but I would prefer to know,
i.e., if you want to go out with Joe, fine, but say, "I'm seeing
Joe that night", not "I'm just SO tired." If I get jealous,
that's my problem, not hers. This has usually worked out fairly
well, except for one time when a MOTOS I REALLY liked said she
didn't want to see me any more because I didn't care enough about
her to ask her not to see other people!!!! Mumble, mumble, SAY WHAT?
p.p.s How many of you guys have ever really pushed the issue? I once
FINALLY went out with a girl who gave the following excuses:
(I wrote them down, honest)
1. do her taxes 10. ticket to a play
2. work late 11. softball practice
3. another date 12. son's play at school
4. work late 13. another date
5. dinner engagement 14. work late
6. out of town 15. no real reason, some other time
7. out of town
8. business meeting
9. another date
Guess I kept calling (mostly) because she had this fantastic
telephone voice and she ALWAYS said, `Oh, I'd REALLY like to,
honesto, trulio, but I just can't because <fill in the blank>
but please ask me again.