Darth Vader and Luke

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ihldt!tmh

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Dec 13, 1982, 10:24:41 PM12/13/82
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If we're going to give way to wild speculation how about
this? Luke isn't a clone at all, but has two natural
parents. Proposition: Suppose that you can't hide
ancestry through the force, but you can hide your sex
(especially if your Jedi enough). This leading to...
Tatata ta de da......
Darth Vader is really Luke's mother.

Wipe that look of confusion off your face!!!!!! and read
on.

Plot to the first trilogy runs something like this:
Young not so hot looking (in fact almost masculine)
female Jedi trainee gets knocked up by young hunk type
male trainee and leaves the Jedi in disgrace when young
male refuses to marry her and the rest taunt her about
her predicament and possibly even looks.
She has the child and leaves him to be raised by her
sister or brother (or whoever Luke's Uncle and Aunt
were).
Her brooding leads her to the dark side of the force and
this leads her to vow revenge on Skywalker and the rest
for her disgrace.
Eventually during her revenge she comes up against her
old teacher and the father of her child. She avenges
her disgrace at Skywalker's hands only to be thrown into
the volcano or whatever by OB1.
Surviving but badly hurt she is repaired using modern
military equipment (how many females have you seen in
battle dress) including a voice synthesizer thing
which is male. Realizing the power her
appearance now commands she converts to being a male and
continues her revenge (Clone or Colon Wars etc.).
Afterwards few remember her original sex and everybody
assumes she is male.
When she and Luke finally meet she just normally concels
the fact that she is female, but can't concel the
genetic tie. Luke assuming she is a male just doesn't
check to closely and realizes his kinship, but not her
sex.
Boy! doesn't this explain lots of things like Darth's mood
changes, why she doesn't talk back to Boba Fett (they
both being horrible mutilated are now lovers since only
they can stand to see each other nude), the beauty
parlor thing Vader sat in just before talking to the
emperor and why her light saber is a different color.


Just out of the Top of my Head,
Tom Harris

or is it just out of my head?
Oh well, see ya at the funny farm.

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