Stuck In Social Isolation, So What To Do? Reminisce! (Part 2)

[Sexy Gay Senior]

(As I read through those old journals I kept during my college years from September, 1973 to August, 1976, and for a few years beyond, I wondered what it would have been like back in 1973 as I was coming to grips with and embracing my sexuality if we, or rather I, had access to something like Gay-based lifestyle books (which were only starting to find their way onto bookstore shelves, when they were allowed into the country), the internet, e-mail, texting, and various other social media platforms? Especially, I envy young Gay guys today who are now my age when I finally discovered myself. After all, back in 1973, I could not have walked into a café (aka Starbucks, who wasn't around then, at least not where I lived, or even Tim Hortons, a Canadian icon) with a travel mug that has "CERTIFIED GAY", or "100% GAY", or the words "GAY PRIDE" superimposed over the rainbow flag printed on it. Yes, I have those three travel mugs, plus four others! Thank you, Café Press and RedBubble! Nor could I have walked freely in public with a tee shirt that had "CANADA" printed on it with each letter a colour of the Gay Pride rainbow, a subtle hint to my sexuality. Nor could I have waked around in shorts with absolutely smooth legs! Nor could I, or any other Gay guy, have been able to embrace and kiss my boyfriend in public, out in the open, like I had the pleasure of watching several times since last July, and really, right up until things began being shut down around the middle of March. I can still see those wo exceptionally beautiful young guys embracing and kissing each other one Sunday morning, right there in one of the Starbucks I used to frequent before they were all shut down due to the Covid-19 virus. It's also like the way I dress. Back in 1973, you didn't wear shorts in winter. I can count on the fingers of one hand the days I didn't wear shorts since Christmas of this year! In fact, on the Sunday morning between Christmas and New Year's, I was in the same Starbucks where I got to watch those two exceptionally beautiful young guys (They were both 20-years-old) kiss each other, and there were seven other guys in there, plus the two young cuties who were working the counter, and everyone wore shorts. In December!

In 2020, things have basically gone into the sewer with the Covid-19 pandemic. People are scared, frustrated, and angry. The supply chain blew it big time, and now, everything is in short supply, and prices are starting to rise significantly. You better not run out of anything, because it could be a long time getting anything. You cannot even go into a store. You have to order ahead of time and wait outside to have it brought to your car. Even then, you are not allowed to speak to anyone at any time. Who could have predicted that, in 2020, the world would have been plunged into total chaos thanks to China? And you can bet China is laughing at the whole world right now! However, as I said in Part-1 of my reminiscing, if I can survive the A.I.D.S. crisis, and my first-ever boyfriend's (Yes, I'm talking about Jamie) death in 1987, I've got this licked!

Anyway, I started to talk about finding an old journal I had kept and was talking about when I met Jamie, my first boyfriend. This was one period, from 1973, right up until July of 1987, where my life was really good. I would go as far as to say these were the best years! This is the continuation of my first post!)

There was something I didn't write about in my first post, and that was, what was Jamie thinking this whole time? I did wonder about that. After all, we both ran into each other in the bookstore. What did he think? I would find out later! And what about me asking him to join me for a coffee? And our meetings each morning and whenever we could? hat was running through his head as we sat that afternoon in the cafeteria just chatting away? I mean, I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world, and never really thought much of my looks. It didn't help that I had a control-freak for a mother who never believed in giving compliments and praise. Her moto? Praise would give a child false hope and not prepare them for the real world. Criticism drives the child to try harder. Compliments are phoney and set you up for disappointment when you learn that you were mislead. Compliments give you a false sense of security. Forget that it destroys your confidence, that you reach a point where you finally say, "Screw it! I give up!" Then there was being told, "You're not that good looking, so you better just take whatever woman comes along and isn't that fussy about the kind of man she wants." Yes, all those thoughts ran through my head as I was sitting across from THE MOST physically beautiful guy I had ever laid my eyes on. I wondered what my mother would have said then (she would find out much later, like 15-years later) if I had of told her, "Well mother, you were wrong. I've met this absolutely beautiful person, and they love me." I know if I had of used the word "he" instead of "they", mother would have taken the sharpest knife she could get her hands on, then she would have slit my throat so deep, she would have decapitated me, and done it with a smile on her face. (She was always threatening to slit my throat, ever since I could remember, and right up until I was in my mid-to-late 30s, when she found out I was Gay. Her threats stopped because she disowned me. One time, I think I was 13-years-old, and she was flipping out over something stupid like the way I wrote something, she even showed me the knife she would use. Her constant direct threat, "I'll cut your head off!" had something to do with an old testament bible saying: "If the child is disrespectful, take the child and strike its head from its shoulders." Nice! And people wonder why I'm an Atheist!)

After a whirlwind week, the weekend arrived and with it, my hopefully not misguided expectations. Friday night, before I went lights out, after all, I had to be at work at 7:30 the next morning, I wrote more about what I was feeling, and my anticipation for the next evening. It was all about how Jamie worded the invitation to come over to his place, and how he was so adamant about the time he wanted me to come over. I hardly slept, having scenario after scenario running through my head. One of the last things I did before I finally fell asleep, was to read through those photocopied pages about anal sex between two guys. One guy (Jamie) pushing his penis into another guy's (mine) behind? What would that feel like? What would it feel like for me to push my penis into his behind? I read it twice, trying to memorize every detail they talked about, the suggested positions, lubrication, going slow, all of it. Remember, I was still a virgin. I had never engaged in sexual intercourse before with any guy, or girl for that matter. I did wonder if Jamie was still a virgin. I could not help but wonder if such a beautiful, hot-looking guy like him had already had sex, most likely, sadly, with girls. That was one aspect of our lives that didn't come up in any conversation we had during those first four days we chatted. Maybe it should have, "Have you ever had sex before?", and "Oh, by the way, Jamie, I should tell you, I'm not into girls! Guys, yes, but not girls!" Thinking about how things were going up to that point, I did wonder what would have happened if I have of said that. I'm getting ahead of myself here, but, I quickly learned exactly what would have happened if I had of spoke up about my sexual preferences.

The next day, the garage was busy, as usual, and the day went by quickly. I got home at about twenty after five and grabbed a quick shower. I had already informed my control-freak mother that I would be going out for the evening with a friend from school. Who is this friend? Oh, just a guy I met in the college bookstore. He's really a nice boy. You'd like him! Oh, and if things go as I as hoping, we might have sex together. Boy, if I had of said that, mother would have taken the sharpest knife she could find and she would have slit my throat so deep, she would have beheaded me! She sure didn't approve of my attire that evening, my purple tee shirt, my short, cut-off jean shorts, and my running shoes. To her, my shorts were way too short. Too bad, mom! Get with it It's 1973, not 1873, or whatever era you're stuck in! As it is, I was over dressed! I had a quick dinner, and was out the door by ten after six. It was only a fifteen minute drive to Jamie's house.

Wow, his parent's house was almost twice the size of my parent's house! It was located behind the college property and their back yard was fenced off from the college. All Jamie had to do was jump the fence, walk 50-feet, and he was in the college parking lot. He didn't do that though, as there were sidewalks that joined into the college grounds. And the second I laid eyes on him, Jamie looked totally sexy and sensuous! He had on a purple tank top (an honest co-incidence on the colour) and short, cut-off jean shorts that were shorter than mine were. And no, his "junk" didn't "hangout". That evening too, he had his hair tied into a pony tail which accentuated his long, slender, sensuous neck even more. That was when I noticed something else I would envy him of, in addition to his long, slender neck and pointy Adam's apple. He had the most beautiful and smoothest legs I had ever seen, and not just on any girls whose legs I saw. His legs were gorgeous, another physical attribute of his that I envied. (By the way, I would eventually start shaving my legs, once while in college just to feel what it was like to have smooth legs, a feeling I loved, and in March of 1977, I began to shave my legs, and haven't had a stand of hair on them since.) Oh, he was bare-foot. I know it seems that I'm over-emphasising Jamie's physical beauty, but, in all honesty, that cannot be over-emphasised. Jamie was THAT beautiful.

When I came in, I slipped off my running shoes. I was only 5-minutes early, so Jamie gave me a quick introduction to his parents. They were nice to me too. I know for a fact my mother would not have been as nice to Jamie. Then again, she never approved of any friends I ever had, even into my adult years, right up until she found out I was Gay, which was when she disowned me. As they left, they informed us they wouldn't be home until most likely midnight. I told my mother that I wouldn't be home until midnight, as because I was raised in a catholic family and household, Sunday church was a must-requirement. I also knew I had better be home a lot sooner than that, by no later than maybe 11:30, or, well, remember my comment about my mother and a sharp knife, and cutting off my head? Coming home as late as a half-hour before your were supposed to be in was a guaranteed loss of my head! And she would have cut my head off with a smile on her face!

Once Jamie's parents were gone, we sat in his living room. I sat on the couch, while he sat on the coffee table facing me. The conversation quickly got very seriously intimate. And I mean I-N-T-I-M-A-T-E! (As I said, I made my entries into my journal within hours of whatever it was that I was writing about, which is why I can remember what was said, word for word! Also, I now laugh at how I wrote my recollection: J (for Jamie)- can I tell you something m (for me)- sure) As Jamie looked at me he said, "Can I tell you something?" I said "sure!" He then said something that both put me at ease, and made my pulse race. He told me, "That first time, when we ran into each other, Some thing hit me! I couldn't figure it out at first, but, there was just something, and it was about you." I said, "Really?" He went on, "Really! I couldn't get over it, there was this feeling I got. Then we ran into each other that second time! All I thought was, 'No way!', then there was the third time, and all I thought was, this was meant to happen. That's why, when I saw you just behind me in line, I had to let those two girls go ahead of me. I was hoping you'd say something!" "I was to scared!", I told him. "But", I said, "that's why I sked you if you wanted to go for a coffee. And when you said yes, I, I got, I got excited." "So did I!", Jamie said. "The only thing about when we were sitting in the caf", Jamie said, "I wanted so bad t tell you that I as, well, That I am Queer! I'm into guys, even though I've never had a boyfriend!" I just looked at him! "Are you serious?', I said, "Because that was the one thing I've been trying to say since we were sitting there, that I'm Queer too!" We both just sat there for a minute staring at each other. Then, finally, and it looked like Jamie was trying to summon great courage at what he wanted to say. Then he said it: "Kenny, I have something I have to tell you, and it might make a difference about our friendship!" Then, he proceeded to tell me his deepest, darkest secrets. He didn't hold back! He spoke from his heart telling me what he did. Then it was my turn. For twenty minutes, we bore our souls to each other. I was totally open with him, and he was open with me. He and I had a lot more in common than I first realized and even anticipated. With every word I heard him say, he became more and more beautiful, and I was falling more and more in love with him. We both sat there, just looking at each other for a minute or so.

Then came my big move!

I said, "Well, then there is only one thing to do!" It took a ton (tonne?) of courage, but, I did it. Or should I say, we sort of did it together. I started to lean forward toward Jamie. It seamed he was doing the same thing at the same time, leaning toward me. That was when I reached up and cupped his head. Jamie then reached up and cupped my head. Next thing we both knew, with our heads bent up in a way that stretched and strained both our necks, almost to the point where I felt like my neck was about to break, and I can only imagine how Jamie's long neck must have felt, our lips touched. We kissed each other! It was totally 100-percent mutual! There was no resistance at all from Jamie! None! And it wasn't just a "kiss". Our mouths opened and our tongues were dancing with each other's. My first ever romantic kiss, and It was sexy and hot! Best of all, it was with another guy. And it lasted for a couple of minutes! Then our lips parted. That was when I became aware of my reaction! I was aroused! My penis was struggling inside the confines of my tight jean shorts to get "up".

It was at that instant our lips touched that my honest, true inner me finally came to light, expelling every singe doubt I had: I was Queer! I was a Homosexual! I was Gay! The best part? My worst fear was alleviated: so was Jamie! I was in heaven! Oh, and I was finally in love for real!

We both sat there for a couple of minutes, holding our hands around each other's necks. Then Jamie took his hands away from my neck and with his left hand, he took my right hand and held it. He then stood up, and as he looked down at me, he pulled me up off the couch. Taking me by the hand, we walked over to the stairs, and Jamie lead me up the stairs to the hall, then down to his bedroom. Once in the bedroom, Jamie closed the door. The two of us just stood there, just inches apart. That was when Jamie reached up and cupped my head. Then we kissed, again! As soon as our lips touched , our mouths opened. And I reached up and cupped his head. That kiss lasted much longer than our first one. Then we stopped. As we gazed (Yes, I used that exact word in my journal) into each other's eyes, Jamie's hands slipped down until his palms pressed against the sides of my neck. The tips of his fingers touched at the back of my neck, and his thumbs were just under my chin at the top of my windpipe. I then let my hands slip down so my hands were placed around his neck he same way. For a minute, the both of us just gazed into each other's eyes. That was when things got real hot real fast.

Jamie took his hands away from my neck, then proceeded to remove his tank top. That was my cue to remove my tee shirt. As he did, I undid the button on my shorts and lowered the fly. My shorts slipped off and dropped to around my ankles. So did Jamie's shorts. Then I slipped off my bikini briefs, as did Jamie. This left the both of us standing inches apart, staring at each other, totally nude. Jamie had the smoothest genitals I had ever seen! Not that I had seen a lot of guys' genitals. His balls and cock were as smooth as his sexy legs! Once again, Jamie gripped my head and we kissed, only, it hot hotter. He stopped suddenly and took my hand, and lead me to his bed. Jamie had a double bed, so we had lots of room. I laid on my back as he laid on top. Our lips touched and we kissed for a couple of minutes, then Jamie slipped his lips away from my mouth and began moving slowly down my chin, then onto my neck. As he had me tilt my head back, he opened his mouth so his lips covered across my throat. He then slowly slid his mouth down my throat to my trachea. This got me totally aroused. Then he began working his way back up my neck, kissing my throat like he was Dracula! Talk about a major turn-on! For a good ten minutes, all Jamir did was kiss my neck and throat.

Then it was my turn. We switched with me now on top. We kissed quite passionately, then I got to put my lips onto his throat. I opened my mouth and first put my open mouth over that most sensuous Adam's apple and I kissed it for like a minute. Then it was my turn to play Dracula, only, with him having such a long, slender, and tight neck, I think I had more fun "dining" on his neck than he had dining on mine. For about a half-hour, we would make up like that, him going after my neck, me going after his, me lying under him, him lying under me. I was under him, feeling his lips sliding up and down my throat, when all of a sudden, he stopped. He just looked down at me, and I looked up at him. The air was getting hotter by the second. "I have to show you something!", he said to me. He reached over to his night table and picked up some papers. It was a copy of the exact same article I copied and anal sex! My eyes lit up! I just looked at him!

Neither of us said a word, we just gazed into each other's eyes. That was when Jamie raised his body up. He was giving me room to turn over. I rolled over onto my stomach, and I stretched out my arms. I had a pillow under my neck. As I did that, I could hear Jamie doing something. He had a jar of Vaseline! And!! He was coating his cock. Jamie then leaned forward and put his left hand into the back of my left shoulder. I could feel him positioning his cock at the crack of my ass. I could feel the tip of his rock-hard cock coated with the Vaseline almost in. He then put his right hand on the back of my right shoulder. This was it! That was what I had hoped would happen! I took a deep breath as Jamie said, "Ready?" I exhaled and said, "Do it!" That was the moment I went to heaven!

Nobody ever forgets their "first time", that first time you feel another guy's cock being pushed ever-so-gently into your rectum for the first time, nor you pushing your cock into his rectum. You remember every detail, the hot, sensuous guy you did it with, where you were when the two of you did it, the date, the time, everything, even the 'events' that lead up to that big moment. Hopefully too, the person you finally surrender your virginity to will be surrendering his to you. It makes it especially easy to remember when you decided to keep something like a journal, or a diary, and you wrote everything down, if for no other reason, for that one day in the very distant future, you can come across it and think back and remember the best moment of your life.

At sometime around 8:00 on that evening, September 8th, 1973, for the first time ever, I felt another guy's cock, and the guy happened to be the most beautiful guy I had ever met, slowly push into my rectum. Jamie didn't go too deep with his inward thrusts. He went in a little bit, then a little bit more, then a little bit more, until he was in as deep as he could go. For me, as soon as I felt his first thrust in, I took a deep breath! It was the hottest sensation I had ever felt! And the deeper he went, the hotter it felt. I had trouble breathing, it was so hot. (Jamie would describe that exact same feeling as he felt it in a way that was kind of kinky, and it was that exact description I wrote in my journal later.) Finally, Jamie was into me as far as he could get. Then, he started to draw back and thrust forward. Again! And again! And again! Over and over! Slide back and thrust forward! I swear he did that for an hour. To be honest, he did it for a good ten minutes! Sliding back and trust forward! Over and over! Every singe thrust was more heavenly than the previous one. Too, as heavenly as every thrust felt, that feeling I had as he was entering me grew hotter and hotter. It was that sensuous! Too, the whole time, Jamie braced himself by pushing his hands down onto the backs of my shoulders. Suddenly, he pushed in deep and stopped. Oh my word! I could feel his penis! It started to throb, and I could feel it throbbing. I felt every single throb his cock made as he began pumping his hot, sexy juice into me. Jamie was ejaculating! And he was ejaculating hard. He was also moaning! And I mean moaning! Jamie hit his orgasm and he hit it hard! It sounded like he stopped breathing he was cuming so hard. He just braced himself against my shoulders and let out several moans. For five minutes, he just pushed against my shoulders and held his lower body still, with his cock still shooting his hot juice into me. All I could do, was enjoy every second of it!

Jamie suddenly dropped down and laid flat on top of me. He was breathing very heavy as he laid there. A minute later, I felt his lips kissing the very back of my neck. Then I felt his fingers reach around and begin caressing my throat. Jamie just fucked me into heaven! After maybe five minutes, he raised himself up, then he slid his dripping cock out of my ass. Jamie had kept a box of Kleenex on the floor, which he reached down and pulled several out of the box to wipe off his cock. I could feel his cock as he withdrew it from my ass. Even then, it felt sensuous! Jamie sat back on his folded legs and stretched his neck and tilted his head up. He was catching his breath. I was lying there, savouring what had just been done to me. Then, Jamie said, "Are you ready to do me?" "You bet!", I said. I lifted myself up and let Jamie lay on his stomach under me. As he did, I took the jar of Vaseline and I coated my hard cock with a lot of it. (The thought of getting some water-based lubricant, which is much more preferred, never occurred to us. It would shortly down the road, as would using condoms, and yes, they had lubricants like that in 1973.) With Jamie lying face-down, I positioned my cock in the crack of his ass. Like he did, I leaned forward and pressed my hands onto the backs of his shoulders. "Ready?", I asked. All he said was, "Fuck me!"

Then, I started to enter Jamie's sexy, tight, and just about the most perfect ass.

I only pushed in a little bit at first, just like I felt him do. I think I just got the head in. Wow, was his ass tight! Then again, so was mine to him. I could hear Jamie take a deep breath. I stopped for a few seconds, then I pushed in a little deeper, then a little more deeper, then a little more deeper. It took me six slow and as-gentle-as-possible pushes until I got into his ass as deep as I could get in. I held for a few more seconds, then I drew back a bit, then I thrust forward. Jamie took a deep breath and held it. I drew ack again and thrust forward again. And again! And again! The more I drew back and thrust forward, the hotter and sexier his ass's grip on my cock felt. It was so hot! As he did to me just a few heavenly minutes before, I began doing to him! Draw back and thrust forward! Draw back and thrust forward! Over and over! For how long? Jamie's tight ass felt so sexy as it gripped my cock. Over and over! I did him for a good ten-minutes! Then, I started to feel myself getting oh-so-close! Even though this was my first time ever having my cock inside another guy's ass, or anywhere else for that matter, I knew what cuming was like. Though honestly, previous experiences were never like what I felt at that moment! Then it happened! As I felt what was coming, I braced myself against Jamie's shoulders. Then, I began to explode! And I mean, E*P*L*O*D*E*! It felt like the head of my cock was about to blow completely off. I could feel my cock begin throbbing massively and I could feel my juice shooting out into Jamie's receptive ass. I came so hard, I became seriously light-headed and began seeing stars! Remember I made the comment about when I first felt Jamie pushing his cock into my ass that I felt this excitingly hot feeling as he entered me and was, for lack of a better way to refer to it, pounding my ass, comparing the feeling I had as Jamie was entering me and pounding my ass, this "feeling" was one-hundred times stronger! (Again, later, Jamie would describe that feeling in a seriously kinky way, and yes, I could concur as that what it felt like, and yes, I wrote that description into my journal.) I also let out a loud, "OH, FUCK!" I had THE most powerful, most sensuous, and hottest orgasm I had ever felt.

If this is what sex between two guys is like all the time, I want more! Either way, top or bottom!

I could not move for a good five-minutes. Jamie certainly didn't mind. He was savouring me cuming inside him like I savoured when he came inside me. And he was savouring the feeling of my throbbing cock inside him. I laid flat on Jamie's back and I brushed his pony tail to one side and began kissing the back of his beautiful, long neck. We laid like that for a couple of minutes, then I began to lift my lower body up to withdraw from Jamie. I swear it sounder like a popping sound as I pulled out! My cock was still dripping my juice, so like Jamie did, I reached down and grabbed some Kleenex to wipe it off and wrap it to catch any more juice that oozed out. Like he did, I sat back on my folded legs, stretched my neck and tilted my head up, then I started to catch my breath. Suddenly, after maybe two-or-three minutes, I could feel something else. Jamie's juice was starting to seep out of my ass. Oops! I think I jumped off the bed. I reached down and grabbed some more Kleenex and held them against my ass! Still, feeling his juice inside me felt sexy. Jamie then realized he was about to have the same issue, so he too got off the bed, grabbed a bunch of Kleenex, and held it against his ass to hold in my juice that was in there. The two of us left his bedroom and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Funny, as I walked, well, as both of us walked, we could feel each other's juice squishing around inside our respective rectums! As messy as it would become, it was still kind of sexy. Once in the bathroom, came the hard part, how to expel that juice. I sat on the toilet first and bore down. I could feel it coming out, but very slowly. I tried to remember what that article said, and for what it was worth, I got most of Jamie's juice out of me. As I wiped off, and got up, Jamie took my place. Once he got everything out, we both jumped into the shower. Together! It was the first time ever that I showered with another person. Admittedly, it was Jamie's first together shower too! It was a long shower too, as we embraced and made out under the running water. Once we finally got done, we went back to Jamie's bedroom and got dressed. By then, it was somewhere around nine-thirty.

I know tis is getting kind of long. There was a lot more happened both that evening after we got dressed, and later throughout our time at college. For now, I will leave this part here. But, this will be continued in part 3!

Kenny, I'm Gay, and I'm not hesitant to admit it!

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