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opinion poll for worst song ever!

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jeffreys

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Mar 4, 1985, 8:30:13 PM3/4/85
to
>Subject: Re: opinion poll for worst song ever!

I don't know why this is put into net.misc, may be it ought to be put into
net.music. (see net.misc for previous contenders)

If you want bad records, try listening to this one:

Here is the contents of an album called Teenage Tragedy on Rhino Records
dated 1984 (RNC-611)

It I think contains probably some the worst tracks ever cut:

Endless Sleep - Jody Reynolds

Teen Angel - Mark Dining

Tell Laura I Love Her - Ray Peterson

Leader of the Pack - The Shangri-Las

Patches - Dickie Lee

Last Kiss - J. Frank Wilson

I Want My Baby Back - Jimmy Cross
(My Favorite - not just bad but really sick)

I Can Never Go Home Anymore - The Shangri-Las

Homecomming Queen's Got A Gun - Julie Brown


Beat that.......

--
[ You called all the way from America - Joan Armatrading ]
[ You're never alone with a rubber duck - Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy ]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|| From the keys of Richard Jeffreys ( British Citizen Overseas ) ||
|| @ AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, Illinois ||
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|| General disclamer about anything and everything that I may have typed. ||
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

vanhal...@xerox.arpa

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Mar 6, 1985, 11:52:17 AM3/6/85
to

A friend of mine owns a record shop locally where I
spotted this gem in the "Why'd they bother" bin: a 45 by Herve Villechase(tatoo
from fantasy island). Or maybe Lorne Greene talking his way through two sides
of an lp, or maybe any of the versions of "Hey Joe" by various unknown artists,
or maybe...

Don

K Wolman

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Mar 6, 1985, 2:29:35 PM3/6/85
to
Jeffreys' list is pretty good. But how in the world could
anyone forget ANYTHING performed by that past Master of the
Musical Emetic, BOBBY GOLDSBORO?
--
Ken Wolman
Bell Communications Research @ Livingston, NJ
lcuxc!kenw

You can't "read" me because I'm not a book.

greg

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Mar 8, 1985, 3:30:55 PM3/8/85
to

Have you heard "Mr. Moonlight" by The Beatles?

Although I am an avid British Invasion Rock-n-Roller with the
Beatles on top of the heap, THIS surely ranks as a truely BAD cut.

VLD/VMB

unread,
Mar 12, 1985, 10:20:59 AM3/12/85
to
"Mr. Moonlight" is 6th (last) cut on side 1 of Beatles '65 LP;
6th of 7 on side 1 of Beatles for Sale (Parlophone label, England).
Didn't they do that song at the Cavern and/or in Hamburg?

Chris Valas

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Mar 12, 1985, 3:33:35 PM3/12/85
to
-=-
Unquestionably the most GODAWFUL piece of CRAP I *ever* heard was
a song by an Australian band called 'Derek and the Wrecks.' An
announcer comes on and introduces a gentleman by the name of
'Chuck Solids.' Some terrible intro music is followed by this guy
singing to a girl, telling her how much she moves him and how much
he needs her, and will she come back to....ULP, URCH,...come back
to his pla...RETCH, HEAVE.... That's right, folks, this guy
(Chuck Solids, natch) starts to vomit uncontrollably with many splashing
sounds (bile on the floor/surroundings, presumably) and *continues*
trying to seduce the girl, punctuating his lines more and more freq-
uently with polysyllabic retchings. This is *everybody's* nightmare
party guest. The sounds are so vividly lifelike I almost blew
chunks myself when I first heard it.

This song has taken first place in the Worst Song of the Year Contest, held by
some radio station in Sydney, Australia, for two years running! The
telephone vote tally favored it over its nearest competitor by greater
than a two-to-one margin....the switchboard went CRAZY.

Need I say more? I thought not...
-=-

Chris J. Valas {decvax,utzoo,philabs,security,allegra,genrad}!linus!cv
-=-
In the autumn, before the winter, comes mans' last mad surge of youth...

Dave Brown

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Mar 14, 1985, 6:26:06 PM3/14/85
to
> "They'er comming to take me away - ha ha". This gem hit most
> requested song one summer in the mid-sixties. This song was
> so bad that the only thing they could find to go on the flip
> side was the same song recorded backward !
>
> Randy Dietrich
> Wilsonville, Oregon, USA

Is the first instance of backward masking????????? HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, by the way; for anyone who flames me over the distribution over four nets,
it's a sad day when people flame a bit of levity.


Sincerely yours,

DAVE BROWN

Chuck Ferrara

unread,
Mar 17, 1985, 12:03:16 PM3/17/85
to
> "They'er comming to take me away - ha ha". This gem hit most
> requested song one summer in the mid-sixties. This song was
> so bad that the only thing they could find to go on the flip
> side was the same song recorded backward !
>
> Randy Dietrich
> Wilsonville, Oregon, USA

Does anyone happen to know the rest of the lyrics for this "song".
You know, about "the nice young men in clean white suits", etc.

Bennett Broder

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Mar 18, 1985, 2:18:26 PM3/18/85
to
I don't remember who does this, but there was a song that got some
airplay on college and cult stations a few years back called
'Warm Leatherette'. It was a monotanous and repetitive piece of
music, and the lyrics described simultaneously having an orgasm and
a car crash. The only other song I have ever heard by them had
something to do with television--I dont remember the details, but it
was nearly as stupid as Warm Leatherette.

Ben Broder
..vax135!petsd!moncol!ben
..pesnta!moncol!ben
..princeton!moncol!ben

Greg Taylor

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Mar 20, 1985, 9:21:45 AM3/20/85
to
In article <> b...@moncol.UUCP (Bennett Broder) writes:
>I don't remember who does this, but there was a song that got some
>airplay on college and cult stations a few years back called
>'Warm Leatherette'. It was a monotanous and repetitive piece of
>music, and the lyrics described simultaneously having an orgasm and
>a car crash. The only other song I have ever heard by them had
>something to do with television--I dont remember the details, but it
>was nearly as stupid as Warm Leatherette.

You're talking about The Normal, who were actually Robert Rental and
Thomas Leer. Guess you aren't into that "big, industrial sound", eh?
Good thing you don't get a lot of Throbbing Gristle or Einsturzende
Neubauten on you local radio....

De gustibus,
G

Gregory Strockbine

unread,
Mar 20, 1985, 3:55:49 PM3/20/85
to
>'Warm Leatherette'. It was a monotanous and repetitive piece of
>music, and the lyrics described simultaneously having an orgasm and
>a car crash. The only other song I have ever heard by them had
>something to do with television--I dont remember the details, but it
>was nearly as stupid as Warm Leatherette.

Warm Leatherette was done by the Normal, it was a 45 and the flip
side was T.V.O.D. Both were 2 of my favorite songs back around
1978. I even took orange spray paint and painted the lyrics to
Warm Leatherette on the road surface of a bridge in Pittsburgh, Pa.
Warm Leatherette, especially, was pure genius, perfectly put together.
Today it doesn't mean quite as much to me other than some fond memories.
Some of the lyrics are:

"Warm leatherette melts on your burning flesh
You can see your reflection in the luminescent dash
Quick! Lets make love before you die"

Which reminds me of a book called "Crash" by Ballard(?) about a
guy whose main ambition is to die in a head on car crash with
Elizabeth Taylor in the oncoming car.


"Dark Side of the Moon? I'm more interested in the dark side of pop."

kirsch

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Mar 21, 1985, 9:46:22 AM3/21/85
to

So you want to know who did 'Warm Leatherette' huh? If it's the
same one I've heard it's by Grace Jones, the girl who makes Carl Lewis'
flat top haircut seem tame in comparison. She also redid a song by a
group called 'Joy Division' (my favorite band) but I can't recall the song.
Maybe someone out there can help...Was it She's Lost Control?

--
Paul Kirsch St. Joseph's Univ.
{allegra | astrovax | bpa | burdvax}!sjuvax!7995pk13 Phila., Pa.

Where do birds go when it rains ?

================================================================================

vanhal...@xerox.arpa

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Mar 21, 1985, 5:24:17 PM3/21/85
to
Didn't Grace Jones do a version of Warm Leatherette?
Don

William Baker

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Mar 21, 1985, 10:36:18 PM3/21/85
to


How can anyone forget "Warm Leatherette"? I first heard it in
my dorm during my first semester of college. The crazy dope freak
sophomore (perhaps I shouldn't call him crazy;last I heard he had
$10,000 worth of working capital tied up in his drug dealing) down the
hall from me used to play it at top volume at 7am on a Saturday morning.
Drove everyone crazy. The man responsible for the atrocity we know
as "Warm Leatherette"? Iggy Pop, the same person who wrote the theme
for "Repo Man". I like the movie theme much better...


Bill Baker
tektronix!reed!wab

Stephen Hutchison

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Mar 22, 1985, 2:01:36 AM3/22/85
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< Straightjackets for line eaters >

From memory:

"They're coming to take me away" as performed by Napoleon the 14th:

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees
and begged you not
to go because I'd go berserk?

WELL,

You left me anyhow, and then the days got worse and
worse and now you see I've gone completely out
of my mind,

AND

(chorus 1)
They're coming to take me away, haha, they're
coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha,
to the funny farm where Life is Beautiful all the time
and I'll be happy to see
those Nice Young Men in their Clean
White Coats and they're coming to take me AWAY, HA HAAAAA

You thought it was a joke, and so you LAUGHED,
YOU LAUGHED when I had said that losing you would make
me flip my lid, RIGHT?

You know you laughed. I HEARD you laugh, you
laughed and laughed and laughed and then you
left, and now you see I'm Utterly Mad

AND

(chorus 2)
They're coming to take me away, haha, they're
coming to take me away, ho ho, heehee, ha ha,
to the Happy Home with Trees and Flowers and
Chirping Birds and
basket weavers who sit and smile and
Twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
Coming to Take me Away, HAHAAAAAAAAA

Well, you just wait, they'll get you yet, and
when they do, they'll put you in
the ASPCA, you mangy MUTT,

AND

(chorus 1)
(chorus 2)
(chorus 1 trailing into mumbles in the distance)

Dave Brower

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Mar 22, 1985, 11:45:48 PM3/22/85
to
I nominate "Free Bird."
--
{ucbvax, decvax}!mtxinu \
ihnp4!amdahl / !rtech!daveb

"If it worked, we wouldn't call it High Tech"

Samuel Black

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Mar 26, 1985, 10:23:41 AM3/26/85
to
Definitely anything by Michael Jackson.

- sam black
D.R.E.A.D. Gold Card Holder

(D.R.E.A.D. = Detroit Rockers Engaged in the Abolition of Disco)

mcgrew

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Mar 26, 1985, 1:14:56 PM3/26/85
to
> < Straightjackets for line eaters >

>
> From memory:
>
> "They're coming to take me away" as performed by Napoleon the 14th:
>
> Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees
> and begged you not
> to go because I'd go berserk?
.
.
.

Now that we know the words to side A of the single...

how 'bout telling us about side B... :-)

Melanie

Philip W. Servita

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Mar 27, 1985, 8:42:31 AM3/27/85
to
You left something out....

I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds
RIGHT?


>Well, you just wait, they'll get you yet, and
>when they do, they'll put you in
>the ASPCA, you mangy MUTT,
>
>AND
>
>(chorus 1)
>(chorus 2)
>(chorus 1 trailing into mumbles in the distance)


--
---------------------------------------------------------------------
is anything really trash before you throw it away?
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris Coffin

unread,
Mar 28, 1985, 10:53:47 AM3/28/85
to
The B side of the're coming to take me away was the same song
... backwards... with the groove starting on the inside of the
record!!!

Chris Coffin

(they've already taken me away.)

Lady Godiva

unread,
Mar 29, 1985, 3:28:02 PM3/29/85
to

There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
line was -
"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
Does anyone remember the rest of it?

elizabeth purtell

(Lady Godiva)

Charlie Martin

unread,
Mar 30, 1985, 9:12:28 PM3/30/85
to
I normally *detest* this kind of message, honest, ...

but what *is* "they're coming to take me away" doing in net.religion?
--
Opinions stated here.

Charlie Martin
(...mcnc!duke!crm)

Norman Diamond

unread,
Mar 31, 1985, 11:22:54 AM3/31/85
to
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
> remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
> line was -
> "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".

I think it was Liza Minelli, or however she spells her name. If the Lord
really cared for her, he would show it. (Kind of pointless, though; if the
Lord really cared for anyone, there are lots of more obvious things he would
do to show it.) No, I don't know the words.

--

Norman Diamond

UUCP: {decvax|utzoo|ihnp4|allegra}!watmath!watdaisy!ndiamond
CSNET: ndiamond%watd...@waterloo.csnet
ARPA: ndiamond%watdaisy%waterlo...@csnet-relay.arpa

"Opinions are those of the keyboard, and do not reflect on me or higher-ups."

Scott R. Anderson

unread,
Apr 1, 1985, 1:10:09 AM4/1/85
to
In article <> pur...@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes:
>
>There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
>remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
>line was -
>"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
>Does anyone remember the rest of it?
>


The song is called "Mercedes Benz", and it was written and performed by
Janis Joplin. I don't think this song is horrible; it is indeed of
"great social and political import" (:-) The lyrics are:

*****
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz,
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV,
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me,
I'll wait for delivery each day until three,
So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town,
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down,
Prove that you love me, and buy the next round,
So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town.
*****

That Janis, she was an all time great!

Scott Anderson
ihnp4!oddjob!kaos

P.S. One more vote for net.music.dead!

l...@unmvax.uucp

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Apr 1, 1985, 4:18:23 AM4/1/85
to

Boy, you people... Everybody flames the 60's I guess... Oh well, this is
one song at that has at least one fan.

The song was written by:
J. Joplin & M. McClure
It is called:
Mercedez Benz

It goes (from a live version):

(I'd like to do a song of great social and political import. It goes like
this...)

Oh lord won't you buy me
a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Porches
I must make amends
worked hard all my life time
no help from my friends
So oh lord won't you buy me
a Mercedez Benz

Oh lord won't you buy me a color TV
Dialing for dollars
is trying to find me


I'll wait for delivery
each day until three

So oh lord won't you buy me
a night on the town
I'm counting on you lord


please don't let me down

Prove that you love me
and buy the next round
Oh lord won't you buy me
a night on the town

(.......That's it!)


You didn't like "The Rose" either, did you?

--Lee (Ward)

{ucbvax,pur-ee,gatech}!unmvax!lee

Marguerite Czajka

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Apr 1, 1985, 8:57:41 AM4/1/85
to

The song is by Janis Joplin. I'm not sure of the title - it may just
be Mercedes Benz.

cobb

unread,
Apr 1, 1985, 9:15:32 AM4/1/85
to
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
> remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
> line was -
> "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
> Does anyone remember the rest of it?

The song was (oddly enough) "Mercedes Benz" by Janis Joplin.
I remember the first verse and the beginning of the other two verses...

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz


My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV...

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town...

(I haven't thought of this song since high school!)

B.K. Cobb
ihnp4!ihuxi!okie

SteinDW

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Apr 1, 1985, 12:08:01 PM4/1/85
to
I believe the title of the song is "Mercedes-Benz" by Janis Joplin off
the "Pearl" album.

Here is a half-hearted stab at the lyrics:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?


My friends all drive Porsches,

I must make amends.


Worked hard all my lifetime,

No help from my friends,
So, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color T.V.?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me.
I wait every day for delivery until three,
Oh Lord won't you buy me a color T.V.?

Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a night on the town?
I'm counting on you Lord,
Please don't let me down.


Prove that you love me and

buy the next round.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?


My friends all drive Porsches,

I must make amends.


Worked hard all my lifetime,

No help from my friends,
So, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

I am sure that the above lyrics are copyright protected and either
ASCAP or BMI but I didn't happen to bring my album collection to
work this morining.

Don Stein
druny!stein

"Sure don't know what I'm going for, but I'm going to go for it, for sure!"

Joe Nunes

unread,
Apr 1, 1985, 12:46:20 PM4/1/85
to

The song you refer to was sung by Janis Joplin and is called (I think)
"Mercedes Benz". I don't remember all the lyrics but here goes:

O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
my friends all drive Porsches, I must make ammends
worked hard all my life, no help from my friends
O Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

O Lord won't you buy me a colour T.V.
"Dialing for Dollars" is trying to reach me
. . .
. . .

O Lord won't you buy me a night on the town
. . .
. . .
. . .

P.S: I don't think it's that horrible a song

ba...@pyuxa.uucp

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Apr 1, 1985, 2:04:36 PM4/1/85
to
Do I remember it --- it used to be my theme song!

Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

My friends all drive Porches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

Lord won't you buy me a color TV
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me
I wait for delivery each day until three
So Lord won't you buy me a color TV

Lord won't you buy me a night on the town
I'm counting on your Lord


please don't let me down

Prove that you love me and by the next ring(?)
Lord won't you buy me a night on the town.

The following was recorded by the late, great Janis Joplin
featured on her album "Pearl."

Richard Mateosian

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Apr 1, 1985, 3:06:57 PM4/1/85
to
In article <12...@reed.UUCP> pur...@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes:

>"Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
>Does anyone remember the rest of it?

Janis Joplin sang this on "Pearl". As best I remember, it went

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends
.....
Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV
Dialing for Dollars is trying to reach me
I'll wait for delivery each day until three
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV

Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town
I'm counting on you Lord, oh please don't let me down
.....
Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town

He he he. That's it.

I'm sure I'll remember the rest as soon as I post this.
--
Richard Mateosian
{allegra,cbosgd,decwrl,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo}!nsc!srm nsc!s...@decwrl.ARPA

Bruce Karsh

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Apr 2, 1985, 8:33:34 PM4/2/85
to
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
> remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
> line was -
> "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
> Does anyone remember the rest of it?

Is this posting a joke?

Doesn't everybody know that Janis Joplin did this one?
--
Bruce Karsh |
U. Wisc. Dept. Geology and Geophysics |
1215 W Dayton, Madison, WI 53706 | This space for rent.
(608) 262-1697 |
{ihnp4,seismo}!uwvax!geowhiz!karsh |

Barry Ruff

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Apr 3, 1985, 9:25:39 AM4/3/85
to
> I believe the title of the song is "Mercedes-Benz" by Janis Joplin off
> the "Pearl" album.

Gee, would anyone like to see the lyrics a sixth time??? :-)

Greg Abram

unread,
Apr 3, 1985, 9:57:25 AM4/3/85
to
Someone asked for the rest of this... I really disagree with its
listing among the all-time worst. I'm kind of fond of it. After
all, its a song of great social and political import. Goes like this.

....

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz,
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends;
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV
Dialing for Dollars is trying to find me.
I'll wait for delivery each day until 3
Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a color TV

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round.
Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town

(Repeat first)

sonntag

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Apr 3, 1985, 11:00:23 AM4/3/85
to

I think that was done by Janice Joplin. Some more lyrics:

"O Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends.
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

O Lord, won't you buy me a color TV?
....."

That's all I remember. The singer, (I think it's Janice) does it in
a really strange kind of gravelley, scratchy voice.
I've just remembered another similar old song. Maybe someone can identify
the performer:

"I don't care if it rains or freezes,
as long as I've got my plastic Jesus,
riding on the dashboard of my car.

I can go ninety miles an hour,
as long as I got that magic power..." and once again, I forget the
rest.
--
Jeff Sonntag
ihnp4!mhuxt!js2j
"No, not bird, nor plane, nor even frog.
Just little old me, <crash> UNDERDOG!"- not Idi Ahmin

Lady Godiva

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Apr 3, 1985, 3:25:22 PM4/3/85
to

I have received many letters telling me who recorded this song, the
name of the song, and the album, as well as a couple people who actually
provided me with all of the words. I would like to thank all of you, as
well as the people who posted it to the net. Fogive my ignorance as to
the fact that it was Janis Joplin. I actually love most 60s music, but
you don't get to hear much of it these days, at least not out here. And
I'm afraid that Janis Joplin is one of those legendary perfomers that I
have heard very little of.
To those people who admonished me in one way or another for my
ignorance as to the perfomer and 60s rock in general, that is the only
reason that I can give. Maybe you will forgive me if I tell you that I
drive my housemates crazy with Bob Dylan...? :-)

elizabeth

(Lady Godiva)

Stephen Hutchison

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Apr 3, 1985, 9:19:32 PM4/3/85
to
[Incredulous with shlock]

In article <12...@reed.UUCP> pur...@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva) writes:
>

Well, since nobody else seems to have replied, I guess I have to tell you.
The song was performed by Janis Joplin, her of the raunchy voice. I don't
know if it is her handiwork entire, but it DOES seem to need the whiney
overtone she gave it to be really effective.

It's a rather scathing indictment of the "gimme generation", the number
of materialistic fools who were common at the time (and sadly, more common
now, especially at Reed (no offense, I am not pointing fingers at anyone
in particular)).

The first line is
"Oh Lord, won'cha buy me, A Mercedez Benz, Mah friends
all have Porsches, Ah Must make A-Mends!"

And it continues... But I don't remember all the words

hutch

Norman Diamond

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Apr 4, 1985, 11:47:28 AM4/4/85
to
> > "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
>
> Doesn't everybody know that Janis Joplin did this one?

We all do NOW. We all did, after the first dozen or so messages on it.
Yes, I made a mistake (because I remembered the kind of voice that was
used in singing the song). Two mail messages and 20 postings have
corrected and corrected and ... and corrected me. Unusually enough,
none of them has been a mis-correction! Old net topics never die, and
they never fade away.

Dave Esan

unread,
Apr 5, 1985, 1:46:26 PM4/5/85
to
> There is one song that is so horrible that I almost like it. I don't
> remeber the name of it, nor the name of the performer. The first
> line was -
> "Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz".
> Does anyone remember the rest of it?

I guess there is not accounting for taste, but the song was done by Janis
Joplin, and was intended as serious commentary on American materialism and
lack of intellectual stimulation. While I don't remember all the words it
ran something like this:

And now for a song of great social import:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?
All my friends have got Porsches
I must make amends,
Work hard all my life


no help from my friends,

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

Oh Lord won't you buy me a color TV?
Dialing for dollars is trying to find me,
I wait for the telephone each day until three,
Oh Lord won't you buy me a color TV?

Oh Lord won't you buy me a night on the town

(at this point memory fails me)

Strangely, this has always been one of my favorite songs.

David Esan (!moscom!de)

M Nevar

unread,
Apr 5, 1985, 4:28:43 PM4/5/85
to
Worst song ever ?

How about Revolution #9 ?
Played forwards, of course. Backwards it's Top 40 all the way.

Another choice:

You know my name (look up the number)

Once considered to be an A-side (:-)

Mark Nevar

Larry E. Baker

unread,
Apr 6, 1985, 12:50:10 PM4/6/85
to
]][[


Subject: RE: Mercedes-Benz song (from David Esan (de@moscom))

> Oh Lord won't you buy me a night on the town
> (at this point memory fails me)

Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town


I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down

Impress all my friends, Lord, and buy the next round
Oh, Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town...

And there you have it...
--
- Larry Baker @ The University of Texas at Austin
- ... {seismo!ut-sally | decvax!allegra | tektronix!ihnp4}!ut-ngp!mercury
- ... mer...@ut-ngp.ARPA

Roger Magoulas

unread,
Apr 8, 1985, 3:11:49 PM4/8/85
to
In article <7...@mhuxt.UUCP> js...@mhuxt.UUCP (sonntag) writes:
> I've just remembered another similar old song. Maybe someone can identify
>the performer:
>
> "I don't care if it rains or freezes,
> as long as I've got my plastic Jesus,
> riding on the dashboard of my car.
>
> I can go ninety miles an hour,
> as long as I got that magic power..." and once again, I forget the
>rest.


That song was played by Don Imus on WNBC in New York when he did
his Rev. Billy Sol Hargess (sp) routine.

F. Scott Whalebone

Eric Kaylor

unread,
Apr 9, 1985, 4:40:14 PM4/9/85
to
As best I recall, this was created by Don Imus, a rather deranged DJ in the
New York City area. This was the theme song for his character Billy-Sol Hargass,(possible misspelled) who preached for the First Church of the Gooey Death and
Discount House of Worship, located in Del Rio, Texas.

The character was so well developed, that Billy-Sol "wrote" a book entitled
"God's Other Son." I don't have the publication date or author, though.

I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I got my plastic Jesus
riding on the dashboard of my car...

I can go a'hundred miles an hour,
long as I got the alimighty power
glued up there by my pair of fuzzy dice.

Mr. Imus was still on the air in New York last I knew (December '84), and as
sick and funny as ever. WNBC-AM used to have him; don't recall if he's still
there.

Jason Zions

John Ruschmeyer

unread,
Apr 10, 1985, 10:16:41 AM4/10/85
to
>The character was so well developed, that Billy-Sol "wrote" a book entitled
>"God's Other Son." I don't have the publication date or author, though.

Don Imus, with the help of sidekick Charles McCord wrote the book. It was
supposed to be the transcript of tapes found after the mysterious
disappearnace or Dr. Hargus. Basically, the tapes were his life story.

Actually, it's a funny book if not a little raunchy at times. After reading
it, however, you will never be able to look at most evangelists the same
way again.


>Mr. Imus was still on the air in New York last I knew (December '84), and as
>sick and funny as ever. WNBC-AM used to have him; don't recall if he's still
>there.
>
>Jason Zions

Still at WNBC (660 AM) from 5:30-10:00 AM. He still occasionally does the
Hargus character as well as a character called "Crazy Bob" who tells
"Father Goose" tails.

Even worse, however, is the afternoon drive-time DJ: Howard Stern. His main
goal is to pick offensive fun at anything and anybody. He is best known
segment is "Dial a Date" which has included segments featuring gays,
lesbians, transsexuals, herpes victims, nymphomaniacs, etc.


And you wonder why I started listening to FM....

--
Name: John Ruschmeyer
US Mail: Monmouth College, W. Long Branch, NJ 07764
Phone: (201) 222-6600 x366
UUCP: ...!vax135!petsd!moncol!john ...!princeton!moncol!john
...!pesnta!moncol!john
Silly Quote:
"Ah, but what is a dream but reality without a backbone?"

William F. Ingogly

unread,
Apr 11, 1985, 2:51:25 PM4/11/85
to
A number of years ago, a friend of mine had a library book that
contained hobo songs. These are songs passed on from generation to
generation by the hobo subculture. As I recall, the "I don't care"
song was in the book, so I suspect it predates Imus's use of it. Can
anyone else in the group confirm or deny this? By the way, I think
there are a number of other verses to the song, including

I don't care if it's dark and scary
'Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car.

-- Bill Ingogly

r...@mirror.uucp

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May 13, 1985, 10:24:00 AM5/13/85
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"Plastic Jesus" comes from the Righteous Brothers.
It's on their "Souled Out" album, from the 60's, I think.
I don't have the album nearby, but remember the liner notes
saying how audiences used to walk out at performances of
that number

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