Breastfeeding help

[ma...@yogi.dec]

>I am having a frustrating experience with my daughter. She is six weeks old
>and she has decided that she doesn't really enjoy breast feeding. Her first

>What my husband and I have decided to do is to let her cry it out and
>really get hungry. This seems to work eventually, but she really gets worked
>up and I'm not so sure that's good for her and she doesn't seem to be
>learning from it.

>I think it might be our fault because we have fed her out of a bottle when
>we go out, so I think she might prefer to eat out of a bottle. Today she

>I'm torn about bottle and breast feeding. Breast feeding is definitely
>better for her and it's cheaper and I can enjoy it but.... bottle feeding
>is faster and my husband can help me.

>Also, I have heard that certain foods can be irritating to a baby's tummy.
>One of these such foods is chocolate. Do any of you out there know any
>other things I should avoid.

>I would appreciate all the help I can get as soon as soon as possible.

Dear Lauri,

I hope this gets to you before you decide to throw in the towel and
give up. First let me say, I applaud your perseverence. I had
problems with breastfeeding my first child and gave up at about 5
weeks, a fact I was always sorry about later. The second one was much
much easier, partly because I was more experienced, and partly because
I did a great deal of research and joined a support group (La Leche
League) prior to the birth of my daughter.

I hope I can help, or at least give you some needed support. Yes, the
fact that you have bottlefed may be part of the problem. You see,
feeding from a rubber nipple is much, much easier for a baby than
feeding from the breast. As I'm sure you realize, there are several
motions required to extract milk from a breast. It's not easy. Of
course, it is beneficial to the baby, and nature provides a wonderful
source of gum and mouth exercise. However, if a baby gets used to a
rubber nipple, sometimes the baby will balk at having to work so hard
at the breast. That's one point. And it's a decision you are going
to have to make about what you want to do.

Secondly, are you waiting a long time between feedings? She is only
six weeks old, and although she is probably nursing less frequently
now than she did when she was newborn, if you become really engorged
between breastfeeding times, either because she is sleeping longer or
because you are supplementing with the bottle, she may have some
trouble getting the milk out. As you know, when the nipple area is
quite engorged, the baby has a little trouble getting it into her
mouth and manipulating it. This may frustrate and anger her. The
simple solution is for you to express just enough before she starts
nursing to make the nipple and areola a little softer and more
flexible for her. I found with my son, when this happened to him he
simply screamed, although he might have been very hungry. It was as
if he was starving and couldn't get anything to eat, and that just
made him furious. Try expressing a little before she nurses, or
taking a hot shower, or something that will cause your letdown reflex
to trigger before she starts nursing.

If you feel your husband is being cheated by the breastfeeding, or
that he can't help you when you do it, I would say let him hold or
rock the baby afterwards. Let him go and pick her up and bring her to
you if she cries during the night. Let him do something else to help
you, like washing the dishes, folding the laundry, or cleaning the
floors. Perhaps that sounds unfair, but I am a strong advocate of
breastfeeding, both for the mother's and the child's sake. Yes it is
cheaper, and, believe me, after you solve your initial problems, it is
much easier for everyone. I made the philosophical decision not to
bottlefeed my daughter at all, and I never did. Perhaps some people
would consider that too much, that I was never separated from her. In
fact, I had some very good friends who were nursing mothers at the
time, and these were the people who cared for my baby if the need
arose. They always seemed to know what to do, to take care of her for
the short time I was gone. If I went out, it usually wasn't for more
than a couple of hours anyway, and she really didn't need to eat
during that time (this, of course, is another individual decision).

There are some foods that supposedly bother some babies. Generally, I
have heard it's not good to eat too many onions, too much garlic, and,
in some cases, milk products or foods containing lactose. In each of
these cases, you should try it out and monitor the results. Some
babies never seem to be bothered by any foods the mother is eating.
Some have extremely sensitive intestines.

If you haven't done so already, I would strongly recommend buying and
reading the book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, published by La
Leche League. If there is a La Leche League near where you live,
contact them. You may not agree with all their philosophies, but the
members are dedicated to breastfeeding and dedicated to helping others
who are having problems with breastfeeding. And it is very helpful to
have someone to talk to who understands what you are going through.
It's amazing, but there is always someone who has had a similar if not
the same experience, and they usually have wonderful advice and
solutions. Don't feel shy. These people really want to help.

I think I've said it all. I hope you persevere. All of a sudden
breastfeeding stops being a chore and becomes an extremely pleasurable
experience. And I don't care what anyone says, it really is the best
thing for your baby.

Whatever happens, GOOD LUCK! It's obvious you are a very caring
mother and you have a very lucky daughter!

Sincerely,

Rickey Marks