IDIOT TEST (NOT Eric's)
KRONISH
If you liked Eric's test, I have an Idiot Test for you.
Will post answers in a week or two.
1. Do they have a Fouth of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average person have?
3. Some months have 31 days, some have 30. How many have 28?
4. A woman gives a beggar $.50. The woman is the beggar's sister, but
the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why is this?
5. Why can't a man living in Salem, N.C. be buried west of the
Mississippi?
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
7. Is it legal in N.J. for a man to marry his widow's sister?
8. Two men play 5 games of checkers. Each man wins the same number
of games. There are no ties. Can you explain this?
9. Divide 30 by a half and add 10. What is the answer?
10. If you have 3 apples and you take away 2, how many apples
do you have?
11. I have 2 U.S. coins totaling $.55. One is not a nickle. What
are the coins.
12. If you walked into a room, and had only one match, and the room
contained an oil burner, a kerosene lamp and a wood burning stove,
what would you light first?
13. How far can a dog run into the woods?
14. A doctor gives you 3 pills, telling you to take one every half
hour. How long would the pills last?
15. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 die. How many does he have left?
16. A clerk in a butcher shop is 6'6" tall. What does he weigh?
17. How may $.02 stamps are in a dozen?
18. What was the president's name in 1940?
18 correct = genius
16 = above normal
14 = normal
10 = subnormal
8 = idiot
6 = nincompoop
=======
==----===== Arden M. Kronish
==------===== AT&T Bell Laboratories
===-----===== Whippany, N.J.
===---===== whuxl!amk
======= 201-386-2701
Reach out and grep someone
--
=======
==----===== Arden M. Kronish
==------===== AT&T Bell Laboratories
===-----===== Whippany, N.J.
===---===== whuxl!amk
======= 201-386-2701
Reach out and grep someone
Ed Greenberg
to read these, please hit 'n' now. No flames about reading this, you
got two warnings.
I mention three answers that I'm not sure of. If you can confirm
these, or you have a better answer for any of them, I'd enjoy getting
mail from you.
1. Do they have a Fouth of July in England?
yes, one each year.
2. How many birthdays does the average person have?
one, the anniversary of which occurs each year.
3. Some months have 31 days, some have 30. How many have 28?
all of them.
4. A woman gives a beggar $.50. The woman is the beggar's sister, but
the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why is this?
The beggar is a woman.
5. Why can't a man living in Salem, N.C. be buried west of the
Mississippi?
Because he's not dead.
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
Six. (I'm not sure if there's a trick to this one.)
7. Is it legal in N.J. for a man to marry his widow's sister?
It isn't legal for a dead man to marry anybody.
8. Two men play 5 games of checkers. Each man wins the same number
of games. There are no ties. Can you explain this?
Each man played five games with a different opponent.
9. Divide 30 by a half and add 10. What is the answer?
70. (Is there a trick to this one beyond catching the "divide?")
10. If you have 3 apples and you take away 2, how many apples
do you have?
Three. The two you took and the one you had left.
11. I have 2 U.S. coins totaling $.55. One is not a nickle. What
are the coins.
The one that is not a nickel is a half dollar. The other one
is the nickel.
12. If you walked into a room, and had only one match, and the room
contained an oil burner, a kerosene lamp and a wood burning stove,
what would you light first?
The match.
13. How far can a dog run into the woods?
Half way. Then he runs out of the woods.
14. A doctor gives you 3 pills, telling you to take one every half
hour. How long would the pills last?
Assuming that you took the first while with the doctor,
the last would be taken one hour later. (There may be more
than this to this one.)
15. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 die. How many does he have left?
Nine.
16. A clerk in a butcher shop is 6'6" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat!
17. How may $.02 stamps are in a dozen?
12
18. What was the president's name in 1940?
Ronald Wilson Reagan.
How'd I do?
-e
--
Ed Greenberg | {hplabs,glacier}!well!micropro!edg
MicroPro International Corp. | {ucbvax,decwrl}!dual!micropro!edg
San Rafael, California | {lll-crg,ptsfa}!micropro!edg
john@wvlpdp
If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
If an airplane crashes EXACTLY on the border of two states,
where are the surviors buried?
Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
What color is George Washington's white horse?
Which is heavier? An ounce of feathers or an ounce of lead.
An ounce of lead or an ounce of gold.
Bob Bickford
>
>
>
> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
Why, downward, of course.
> If an airplane crashes EXACTLY on the border of two states,
> where are the surviors buried?
Nowhere. Last time I checked, they didn't bury survivors.
> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
I believe there is a trick to this one, but can't remember it.
"Grant, of course."
> What color is George Washington's white horse?
White.
> Which is heavier? An ounce of feathers or an ounce of lead.
> An ounce of lead or an ounce of gold.
They all weigh exactly one ounce.
Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
================================================
| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. |
================================================
D. Hedden
> In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
> >
> >
> >
> > If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
> > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
After you get this one right, tell me:
How many four cent stamps are there in a dozen?
"The moving hand writes ..."
Bert S.F. Lo
> > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> Why, downward, of course.
Sorry, Bob, roosters don't lay eggs. Now, what do you call a person who fails
an Idiot Test?
::: :::::: :::
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:::: ::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Bert S.F. Lo :::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: l...@harvard.HARVARD.EDU :::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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Robert Skinner
>
>
> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
Name all four U.S. Presidents not buried on American soil.
A: Nixon, Ford, Carter, and Reagan (regrettably).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Pass the Rap Rod, Plate Captain"
"Pardon me, Sir?"
"Pass the telephone, waiter.
Sheeesh, you guys are so un-hip, its a wonder your bums don't fall off."
Name: Robert Skinner
Snail: Saber Technology, 2381 Bering Drive, San Jose, California 95131
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UUCP: ...{decvax,ucbvax}!decwrl!saber!skinner
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ve...@ucla-cs.uucp
>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>>
>>
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
>
Well last time I checked ROOSTERS did not lay eggs!
TS Verma
Kevin Campbell
and there are 12 of anything in a dozen.
--
Kevin Campbell
Office of Computing Services
Office Of Telecommunications and Networking
Georgia Institute of Technology
Atlanta, Georgia 30332
UUCP: ...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!kevin
...!{rlgvax,sbl,uf-cgrl,unmvax,ut-sally}!gatech!gitpyr!kevin
BITNET: CCOPRKC @ GITVM1
John Blankenagel
> >
> >
> >
> > -------
> > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
>
I just could not resist this!!
Jay Jaeckel
> Sorry, Bob, roosters don't lay eggs. Now, what do you call a person who fails
> an Idiot Test?
>
Is a person who FAILS an Idiot Test called an Idiot? Or is the the person
who PASSES an Idiot Test who is called an Idiot? -- J.J.
...decwrl!imagen!jay
Douglas L. Ice
(Answers follow --- you have been warned!)
* Roosters don't lay eggs!
* Hopefully, they won't bury the survivors!
* Grant (where do they dig up these questions?)
* Which horse?
* An ounce of feathers weighs the same as an ounce of lead,
but since lead and feathers are weighed in avoirdupois (sp?),
while gold is weighed in troy measure, an ounce of gold
weighs 480 grains, while an ounce of feathers or lead
weighs 437.5 grains.
These jokes have been around for many years (wasn't Grant's tomb
told by Groucho Marx?). An excellent reference for this type
of puzzle, as well as many other interesting ones, is Raymond
Smullyan's "What is the Name of This Book?" (a good title).
Smullyan has several other puzzle books, but this one teaches
logic while providing amusement. Here's a sample (stolen blatantly
and without permission or shame):
A train leaves from Boston to New York. An hour later, a train leaves
from New York to Boston. The two trains are going at exactly the same
speed. Which train will be nearer to Boston when they meet?
A man has committed a crime punishable by death. He is to make a
statement. If the statement is true, he is to be drowned; if the
statement is false, he is to be hanged. What statement should he
make to confound his executioners?
And now, what is the name of this book? (see above)
-------------------------------------------------------------
--- Doug Ice
zin...@sjuvax.uucp
>>
>>
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
Last time I checked, roosters didn't lay eggs, only hens did.
>
>
>> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
>
> I believe there is a trick to this one, but can't remember it.
> "Grant, of course."
There is a trick, both Grant AND his wife are buried there (I got this one
wrong in a Trivial Pursuit game)
----
Ronald Zinnato St. Joseph's University
{allegra | astrovax | bpa | burdvax}!sjuvax!zinnato Philly Pa.
" If we took the bones out it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?"
Jeff Sargent
> How many four cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Could be two answers to this one:
1. The obvious one: twelve.
2. A dozen what? There are (usually) *no* four-cent stamps in a dozen
watermelons, for instance.
T Cox
I don't normally go in for this, but . . .
In article <6...@well.UUCP> r...@well.UUCP (Bob Bickford) writes:
>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
Well, look again. You see, roosters are male. They don't lay eggs.
>> What color is George Washington's white horse?
>
> White.
False. This is an 'in' joke: A horse with a white coat is NEVER
registered as "white." It is registered as "grey" ["gray"] or as
"albino." Never white.
> Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
>================================================
>| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. |
>================================================
--
T Cox
...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!benn benn%sph...@uchicago.bitnet
Kendall Auel
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
Roosters lay eggs?
Mandatory joke:
A family went to a nudist colony for the weekend. The son, who was beginning
to notice such things, asked his father why the size of the men's penises
were different. The father said, "Well, uh,... the guys with big ones are
very smart, and the guys with small ones are kind of dumb..."
A little while later, the father was looking for his wife. "Have you seen
your mother lately," he asked his son. "Yeah," replied the son, "she's
in the bushes with a real dumb guy ... but he was getting smarter all the
time!"
MCALLISTER
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
>
real estate in extreme southern Florida (everglades)!
{ ================= }
McAllister, Daniel Grear 1985 Football Basketball
-------- ----------
Georgia Insitute of Technology, Tech 20 89
PO Box 33191 UGa 16 65
Atlanta Georgia, 30332
"Silence is Golden"
...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gt-oscar!gt3191b
Jim Raisanen
>>
>>
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
WHEN DID ROOSTERS START LAYING EGGS???????????????? -- JR
Bob Bickford
> In article <6...@well.UUCP>, r...@well.UUCP (Bob Bickford) writes:
> > In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
> > > If you had a house that faced east and a rooster laid an egg on
> > > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> > Why, downward, of course.
> > Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
>>
> Sorry, Bob, roosters don't lay eggs. Now, what do you call a person who fails
> an Idiot Test?
>
I got lots of mail pointing out this and other errors, like the fact that
precious metals are measured with different sized ounces than things like
feathers and lead (for crying out loud, I knew that! -how could I miss that?!)
Hmmmmm.... well, if I *failed* an Idiot Test, I guess that makes me...
--oh well. Open mouth, insert mmph!
(Yeah, I know, that's what SHE said!)
Scott
> > Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
>
> >
Nobody! (or no body) is actually IN Grants TOMB! now Grant's monument mabey
at least that's the way I've heard this one told for years!
Addison
ihnp4!ihlpa!ibyf
My brother? I always thought of him as mom and dad's science project.
David Sherman
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
>
I'd like to see your rooster lay an egg.
David Sherman (fluke!dms)
Eric Holtman
> > What color is George Washington's white horse?
>
> White.
>
>
> > Which is heavier? An ounce of feathers or an ounce of lead.
> > An ounce of lead or an ounce of gold.
>
> They all weigh exactly one ounce.
Well, here goes.... George's horse, if it was white, should
be called 'gray'. When you register horses (for shows, for ID
purposes, etc, etc... the official registrar will NOT accept
white as a color. An all white horse, by official definition,
is GRAY. So there....
As for the next one, I don't remember which is heavier, but one
of them is. This is because gold (and other precious metals)
are measured in TROY ounces, while other things are measured in
some other kind of ounce (starts with letter "a", tough as %&'$$"
to spell....).
NETO...@ncsuvm.bitnet
Troy ounces, you know....
Mirek
> >> What color is George Washington's white horse?
> > White.
>
> False. This is an 'in' joke: A horse with a white coat is NEVER
> registered as "white." It is registered as "grey" ["gray"] or as
> "albino." Never white.
>
grey? And what about a horse registered as "blue"? I suppose that's
a horse of a different color.
Andre Guirard
>In article <6...@well.UUCP> r...@well.UUCP writes:
>>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>>>
>>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>>
>> Why, downward, of course.
>>
>
> do not lay eggs.]
Well SO WHAT!!!!! The question says "if," doesn't it? Can't you
crumb-brains even IMAGINE a rooster laying an egg!? And IF it did
(notice I said IF IF IF IFIFIFIF) which way would the !%$&*# egg
fall, HUH? WELL!?!?!?
:-)
How about this people? Everyone knows why the chicken crossed the
road, right? Well think about this: _Why_ did she want to get to the
other side?
Because she was a cluck.
Because there was a "chicken restaurant" on the other side,
and she was hungry.
[Make up your own answer.]
A little bit of this stuff goes a long way.
--
/''`\ Andre Guirard
([]-[]) High Weasel
\ x / speak no evil ihnp4!mmm!cipher
`-'
Richard Harter
eggs. But there are freaks of nature, you know. (They all post to
usenet :-)). There is a documented case in Medieval France of a
rooster being tried and executed for the unnatural act of laying an
egg. Now, fellow idiots, is the following statement true or false:
There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cent stamps).
Moronically yours, Richard Harter, SMDS Inc.
Raymond Allen
I figure I can't go wrong with this answer:
All of them!
--
Ray Allen | "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
utcsri!ray | - Oscar Wilde as quoted in "Parachutes & Kisses" by Erica Jong
Philip E. OKunewick
>>
>>> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
>>
>> I believe there is a trick to this one, but can't remember it.
>> "Grant, of course."
>
>There is a trick, both Grant AND his wife are buried there (I got this one
>wrong in a Trivial Pursuit game)
>----
This one everyone seems to be getting wrong.
Last time I saw somebody buried, they were in a grave with about 6 feet of
dirt on top of them. Now, that usually isn't done in tombs. When somebody
is sealed inside a stone box above ground, it's known as 'entombed', not
'buried'.
---Duck
=============================================================================
"I'm sorry Monseur, but it would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca,
and the germans have outlawed miracles."
=============================================================================
Norman M Yarvin
The person who ANSWERS an Idiot Test AND POSTS REPLIES TO THE NET
is called an Idiot.
David P. Zimmerman
>>
>> Grant, I guess! (Have I missed sumthin'?)
>> >
>Nobody! (or no body) is actually IN Grants TOMB! now Grant's monument mabey
>at least that's the way I've heard this one told for years!
I always thought the truth was that both Grant and his wife were
buried in his tomb, not just Grant. Or is is Abe Lincoln and George
Washington :-) ? I could never get any of them straight.
David
--
Name: David P. Zimmerman Nickname: "Davidann" (don't ask)
Cute quote: " (well, *I* think it's cute!)
Arpa: dpz@blue
Uucp: ...{harvard, allegra, seismo, ut-sally, sri-iu, ihnp4}!topaz!dpz
do...@ism780.uucp
Q: And what do you call a woman who can suck a bowling ball through 50
feet of garden hose?
A: Dangerous!
Bill Hery
> > > > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> > > Why, downward, of course.
> >>
> > an Idiot Test?
> >
A net full of computer scientists and mathematicians, and none of them knows any
logic?
"IF the rooster laid an egg it would fall downward" is correct even if a rooster
==
doesn't lay any eggs. Furthermore, if "the rooster lays an egg" is always false,
then "If a rooster lays an egg" can be followed by ANY conclusion and still be
a true statement; e. g., "if a rooster lays an egg it will fall upward" is true.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Obligatory joke:
What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Using a feather is erotic. Using the whole chicken is kinky.
John Oswalt
> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
Seems to me that the widely held to be incorrect answer
> Why, downward, of course.
is better than the "roosters don't lay eggs" one. The question is
hypothetical: we are given that a rooster has laid an egg. The fact
that roosters don't ordinarily do this is irrelevant. If asked
"What would you do if you had a million dollars?", the answer
"But I don't have a million dollars", misses the point.
--
John Oswalt (..!{hplabs,amd,pyramid,ihnp4}!pesnta!valid!jao)
Gil Israeli
> >> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> >
> > Why, downward, of course.
>
> WHEN DID ROOSTERS START LAYING EGGS???????????????? -- JR
Once in a thousand years, when the positions of the stars are exactly right,
a seven-year-old rooster will lay an egg. The creature that hatches is
called Basilisk, or Cockatrice. Its stare can kill, and touching one will
instantly turn you to stone. Even hearing its hiss is extremely dangerous.
It's just as well that the rooster lay the egg on the peak of your roof.
One less cockatrice won't be missed.
--
Gil Israeli
Peter Chen
> >> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> >
> > Why, downward, of course.
> >
I think they laid chickens.
peterc
(or is it hens?)
D'arc Angel
>Sorry, Bob, roosters don't lay eggs. Now, what do you call a person who fails
> an Idiot Test?
>
> ::: ::: :::: ::: :::
> :::: ::: :: ::: ::::
> :::: ::::
> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Bert S.F. Lo :::::::::::::::::::::::::
> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::: l...@harvard.HARVARD.EDU :::::::::::::::::::::::::
> :::: ::::
> :::: ::: :: ::: ::::
> ::: ::: :::: ::: :::
> ::: :::::: :::
by any chance are you answering your own question??????
--
----
god bless Lily St. Cyr
-Rocky Horror Picture Show
Name: James Turner
Mail: Imagen Corp. 2650 San Tomas Expressway, P.O. Box 58101
Santa Clara, CA 95052-8101
AT&T: (408) 986-9400
UUCP: ...{decvax,ucbvax}!decwrl!imagen!turner
CompuServe: 76327,1575
Darrah Chavey
>>> Grant, I guess! (Have I missed sumthin'?)
>>>
>>Nobody! (or no body) is actually IN Grants TOMB! now Grant's monument mabey
>>at least that's the way I've heard this one told for years!
>
> I always thought the truth was that both Grant and his wife were
> buried in his tomb, not just Grant.
A reference which I saw once claimed that the correct answer was:
Grant, his wife, their daughter, and his dog.
Jeff Sargent
>>In article <1...@atux01.UUCP>, hed...@atux01.UUCP writes:
>>> How many four cent stamps are there in a dozen?
>
> All of them!
No, that's the answer to the question, "How many people are dead in
Arlington National Cemetery?"
mce...@uiucdcs.cs.uiuc.edu
>>> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
>>
>> "Grant, of course."
Wrong. No one is buried there. They're entombed.
>>
>>> What color is George Washington's white horse?
>>
>> White.
> The trick to this one is that all white horses (until recently,
> anyway) are registered as GREY horses. Therefore, George Washington's
> white horse was grey.
Thanks, now I'll know the answer if anyone asks "What color is Washington's
white horse registered as?" The answer to the original question, however, is
still "white".
Scott McEwan
{ihnp4,pur-ee}!uiucdcs!mcewan
"What? That? It was just a filthy demon! It wasn't even from this dimension!"
Thomas Williams
> >
> > Sorry, Bob, roosters don't lay eggs. Now, what do you call a person who fails
> > an Idiot Test?
> >
>
> who PASSES an Idiot Test who is called an Idiot? -- J.J.
> ...decwrl!imagen!jay
Or more likely people who TAKE the Idiot Test are Idiots..
-taw
Daniel R. Levy
Oh oh here it comes. The LINE EATER! [Line eater]>
In article <1...@uvacs.UUCP>, er...@uvacs.UUCP (Eric Holtman) writes:
>Well, here goes.... George's horse, if it was white, should
>be called 'gray'. When you register horses (for shows, for ID
>purposes, etc, etc... the official registrar will NOT accept
>white as a color. An all white horse, by official definition,
>is GRAY. So there....
Pray tell me, then if an all white horse is "GRAY", then what the heck
do you call the color of a horse that really IS gray? Black??? :-)
And the black horse? Invisible???
--
------------------------------- Disclaimer: The views contained herein are
| dan levy | yvel nad | my own and are not at all those of my em-
| an engihacker @ | ployer or the administrator of any computer
| at&t computer systems division | upon which I may hack.
| skokie, illinois |
-------------------------------- Path: ..!{akgua,homxb,ihnp4,ltuxa,mvuxa,
vax135}!ttrdc!levy
Darrell Long
>About 15,000 wiseacres jumped in pointing out that roosters don't lay
>eggs. But there are freaks of nature, you know. (They all post to
>usenet :-)). There is a documented case in Medieval France of a
>rooster being tried and executed for the unnatural act of laying an
>egg.
>
--
Darrell Long
Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science
University of California, San Diego
UUCP: sdcsvax!darrell
ARPA: darrell@sdcsvax
Bert S.F. Lo
>In article <88...@ucla-cs.ARPA> ve...@ucla-cs.UUCP (Thomas S. Verma ) writes:
>>In article <6...@well.UUCP> r...@well.UUCP writes:
>>>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>>>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>>>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>>> Why, downward, of course.
>> [numerous people post responses to the effect that roosters
>> do not lay eggs.]
> even IMAGINE a rooster laying an egg? And IF it did (notice I said IF),
> which way would the !%$&*# egg fall, HUH? WELL?
Potential rooster eggs are immune to gravity since they have mass 0.
::: :::::: :::
::: ::: :::: ::: :::
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Bert S.F. Lo :::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: l...@harvard.HARVARD.EDU :::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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Daniel R. Levy
Oh oh here it comes. The LINE EATER! [Line eater]>
In article <7...@ttrdc.UUCP>, le...@ttrdc.UUCP (I) wrote:
><Oh oh here it comes. Watch out boy, it'll chew you up! \
>Oh oh here it comes. The LINE EATER! [Line eater]>
><Line eater, you may HAVE all the &^%$#@*!! "Re: Orphaned Response"'s!>
>
>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
> Grant, I guess! (Have I missed sumthin'?)
The consensus was that Grant's tomb is empty (a "cenotaph").
Someone else quibbled that no-one can be "buried" in a tomb, which is
above the surface of the earth.
>> What color is George Washington's white horse?
> ^^
> Surely that horse must be dead and decayed by now! Grey? Brown?
Lots of folks flamed me by mail and on the net about "white" horses
being registered as "grey" [gray, or however ya spell it]. Not being in the
horse registry business, I must plead ignorance on this one.
>> Which is heavier? An ounce of feathers or an ounce of lead.
> Neither
Apparently true (no flames directed at me for THIS one).
>> An ounce of lead or an ounce of gold.
> The gold (12 troy oz./lb vs. 16 avoirdupois oz./lb, same lb.)
I really flubbed on this one. The pound is NOT the same. There still is
a difference in the ounce in spite of this but it is narrower than an equiv-
alent pound would imply (the avoirdupois pound is heavier) but the troy ounce
is still heavier than the avoirdupois ounce.
It's all a quibble anyway; WHOSE ounce are ya using?
Douglas Wells
> > > Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
> >
> > Grant, I guess! (Have I missed sumthin'?)
> > >
> Nobody! (or no body) is actually IN Grants TOMB! now Grant's monument mabey
> at least that's the way I've heard this one told for years!
>
>
There are two sarcophagi in Grant`s tomb; one containing the remains
of Ulysses S. Grant, and the other containing those of his wife.
The joke is that the bodies are entombed, not buried.
Now a joke:
Man says to the waiter "there`s a fly in my soup." Waiter says "quiet,
or everyone will want one."
--
==========================================================================
|| Douglas "Independent Truckers - The Last American Cowboys" ||
==========================================================================
Ed Falk
> > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
*Buzzzz*, you got nuked on this one. Roosters don't lay eggs.
> > Which is heavier? An ounce of feathers or an ounce of lead.
> > An ounce of lead or an ounce of gold.
>
> They all weigh exactly one ounce.
*Buzzz*, nuked again. Gold is weighed under the Troy system, not
Advipous (sp?). An ounce of gold weighs less than an ounce of feathers
because they're different ounces.
-ed falk, sun Microsystems
Bob Bickford
> >>
> >> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
> >> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
> >
> > Why, downward, of course.
> >
>
> I'd like to see your rooster lay an egg.
>
> David Sherman (fluke!dms)
Terribly sorry to disappoint you, but as soon as I posted my response
on the network, a small team of scientists came and took away old Henry.
(They were also kind enough to recalibrate my system of weights and
measures.) ---Ever read "Pate de Foie Gras" by Isaac Asimov?
Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
================================================
| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. |
================================================
ve...@ucla-cs.uucp
Of course, in fact there are up to 12.
TS Verma
Ilia Levi
Isn't it 12?
ni...@sjuvax.uucp
I rarely post to the net, but after reading 50 different explanations of how
George Washington's white horse dyed his hair and mutant roosters on barn
roofs (how'd he get there, anyway?) I think I'll make an exception....
So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
1) What country invented French Fries?
2) What's the largest city, in land area, in the U.S.
3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
...the first two are from Games Magazine a couple months back.
Daniel R. Levy
Oh oh here it comes. The LINE EATER! [Line eater]>
In article <61...@cca.UUCP>, g-...@cca.UUCP (Richard Harter) writes:
>Now, fellow idiots, is the following statement true or false:
>There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cent stamps).
> Moronically yours, Richard Harter, SMDS Inc.
True. This is like the question "how many months have 28 days in them."
[ALL of 'em]
ro...@hpfcla.uucp
corpse!
Ben Page
nothing to do with the validity of the argument. Admittedly it is unsound
reasoning to suppose that a rooster is laying an egg, but the question does
not say "Can a rooster lay eggs, and if so...", it says "If a rooster...".
Thus we are already informed that the rooster has layed the egg! It is a
forgone conclusion! And negations of that fact render the whole question,
including the answer, useless.
Ben Page
Boston University
odin%bu-cs@csnet-relay
Henry Perkins
>
> There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cent stamps).
>
> Moronically yours, Richard Harter, SMDS Inc.
No.
--
{hplabs,amdahl,3comvax}!bnrmtv!perkins --Henry Perkins
Dave Richards
>In article <27...@sjuvax.UUCP> zin...@sjuvax.UUCP (R. Zinnato) writes:
>>>
>>>> Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
>
>This one everyone seems to be getting wrong.
>
>Last time I saw somebody buried, they were in a grave with about 6 feet of
>dirt on top of them. Now, that usually isn't done in tombs. When somebody
>is sealed inside a stone box above ground, it's known as 'entombed', not
>'buried'. Duck
>
Since we're getting picky:
For your statement to be true, you had to have been buried with the
corpse. How did you get out (ya know, through the 6 feet of dirt and all)?
Dave "child of a man in the mind of a body" Richards
PS. how about "interred"?
Ron Domes
>In article <3200013@wvlpdp>, john@wvlpdp writes:
>>
>>
>>
>> If you had a house that faced East and an rooster laid an egg on
>> the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
>
> Why, downward, of course.
>
>
> Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
>| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. |
>================================================
Well, sorry Robert, but the last time I checked "rooster's" didn't lay eggs!!!
Ron
Chris Gordon
That VICIOUS line eater strikes again!
r...@teddy.uucp
>
>So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
>
>1) What country invented French Fries?
>
is concerned, either Holland or Belgium (Flanders) might win here. Seems that
while I was living in Belgium, I viewed in one of the museums a late 16th
century Bruegel or Van Eyck or whatever, with a pile of potatoes in the
backround sliced into long sticks with a 1/4" square cross section. Also
present in the painting was the depiction of a large pot over a fire. Maybe
filled with lard (?).
No, the picture had no evidence of golden arches (-:
Now, there's my answer. It ain't funny, but neither is much else in this
news group.
Flames to /dev/macdonalds
>3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
It isn't April 19th, 1721, is it? (just an off-the-cuff guess)
Dick Pierce
Scott
Sorry, its true. There also happen to be 9 more but there are 3
Addison
ihnp4!ihlpa!ibyf
My brother? I always thought of him as mom and dad's science project.
Jeanette Haritan
>road, right? Well think about this: _Why_ did she want to get to the
>other side?
>
> Because she was a cluck.
> Because there was a "chicken restaurant" on the other side,
> and she was hungry.
> [Make up your own answer.]
>
>A little bit of this stuff goes a long way.
>--
>
> /''`\ Andre Guirard
>([]-[]) High Weasel
> \ x / speak no evil ihnp4!mmm!cipher
> `-'
Why did the turkey cross the road?!
Because he didn't want anyone to think he was chicken.
**************
no evil spoken here...unless absolutely necessary
Tainter
> > > There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cent stamps).
> > > Moronically yours, Richard Harter, SMDS Inc.
> > No.
> Sorry, its true. There also happen to be 9 more but there are 3
> Addison ihnp4!ihlpa!ibyf
I assume he was answering the query "is the following true or false".
Since it is expressed in the language English,
"There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cen stamps)."
is neither true nor false and so "No." is the correct answer.
--johnathan a. tainter
ve...@ucla-cs.uucp
>> > > > the peak of the roof, which way would the egg fall?
. . .
In article <7...@bonnie.UUCP> w...@bonnie.UUCP writes:
>A net full of computer scientists and mathematicians, and none of them
>knows any logic?
>
It is not entirely obvious that the clause 'a rooster laid
an egg on the peak of the roof' is within the scope of the
'if'.
Newsgroups: net.puzzle
Subject: Re: this one was simple? yea
Summary:
Expires:
References: <10...@decwrl.DEC.COM> <1...@gt-cmmsr.UUCP>
Sender:
Reply-To: ve...@ucla-cs.UUCP (Thomas S. Verma )
Followup-To:
Distribution:
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Dept.
Keywords:
In article <1...@gt-cmmsr.UUCP> r...@gt-cmmsr.UUCP (Richard D. Robison) writes:
>> > You are staggering down a road ready to give up on life
. . .
>> >What would be the question and to whom would you ask it?
^^^^^^^
>>
>> The question would obviously be "Which way is the hospital, please?"
>>
>> I would ask it to the person that tells the truth.
>>
. . .
>>
>
>Certainly you are joking. It should be fairly obvious that you do not know
>which person tells the truth.
Why must he be joking, it CLEARLY asks which person to ask!
Remember ALL logic puzzles MUST be taken at face value.
TS Verma
Matthew P. Wiener
> > > > There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cent stamps).
> > Sorry, its true. There also happen to be 9 more but there are 3
> Since it is expressed in the language English,
> "There are three 4 cent stamps in a dozen (4 cen stamps)."
> is neither true nor false and so "No." is the correct answer.
obviously not German or French), but if you want to be picky, *any*
assertion is true or false: P or not P always has truth value true.
Oh, a joke?
Offensive to dumb Canadians and English speaking Canadians:
What's the capital of Canada?
Zbfgyl Nzrevpna.
What's the automotive capital of Canada?
Qrgebv.
ucbvax!brahms!weemba Matthew P Wiener/UCB Math Dept/Berkeley CA 94720
James T. Kirk
under the categories of true and false. His statement, is either true or
false. Therefore, the answer to the question, "is it true or false" must be,
yes, it is either true or false.
--
Lad, you're gonna need somethin' ta wash thaet down with. Y'ever try any
Saurian Brandy?
UUCP: seismo!umcp-cs \ BITNET: INS_BBDG@JHUVMS
ihnp4!whuxcc > !jhunix!ins_bbdg P13I2691@JHUVM
allegra!hopkins / CSNET: ins_...@jhunix.CSNET
ARPA: ins_bbdg%jhunix...@wiscvm.WISC.EDU
mce...@uiucdcs.cs.uiuc.edu
>>>>> How many four cent stamps are there in a dozen?
>>> I figure I can't go wrong with this answer:
>>>
>>> All of them!
>>
>>No, that's the answer to the question, "How many people are dead in
>>Arlington National Cemetery?"
>
>
>Isn't it 12?
I thought Arlington National Cemetery was bigger than that.
Peter Ladkin
> [...] Statements can only fall
> under the categories of true and false.
"This sentence is false".
Ever heard of the paradoxes?
Sorry, no joke.
Peter Ladkin
Bob Bickford
In article <28...@sjuvax.UUCP>, ni...@sjuvax.UUCP writes:
>
> So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
>
> 1) What country invented French Fries?
>
Belgium.
>
> 2) What's the largest city, in land area, in the U.S.
>
Juneau, Alaska.
>
> 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
>
January 1st, 2000
Robert Bickford (r...@well.uucp)
================================================
| I doubt if these are even my own opinions. |
================================================
--
Robert D. Silverman
Boy, is the computer industry going to be in trouble. Since there was
no year #0, the first day of the 21'st century will be Jan 1, 2001.
Look at it another way: Jan 1, 1 was the first day on the current calendar
and Dec 31, 100 was the last day of the first 100 years. Thus, Dec 31, 2000
will be the last day of the first 2000 years.
Bob Silverman
adp
><BUG?!>
>
>In article <28...@sjuvax.UUCP>, ni...@sjuvax.UUCP writes:
>>
>> So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
>>
.
.
>>
>> 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
>>
> January 1st, 2000
>
^
-- Sparky
Matthew P. Wiener
>>
> Juneau, Alaska.
I heard it was Jacksonville, Florida.
>> 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
>>
> January 1st, 2000
I know it will be
January 1st, 2001.
John, KA9MNK
> <BUG?!>
>
> In article <28...@sjuvax.UUCP>, ni...@sjuvax.UUCP writes:
> >
> > So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
> >
> >
> > 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
> >
> January 1st, 2000
>
Nope! January 1, 2001.
^
Alternate answer: Monday.
goud...@dg_rtp.uucp
> January 1st, 2000
Sorry, try 2001.
Bob Goudreau
Douglas L. Ice
><BUG?!>
>
>In article <28...@sjuvax.UUCP>, ni...@sjuvax.UUCP writes:
>>
>> So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
>>
>> 1) What country invented French Fries?
>>
> Belgium.
>>
>> 2) What's the largest city, in land area, in the U.S.
>>
> Juneau, Alaska.
>>
>> 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
>>
> January 1st, 2000
>
--Doug.
Andre Hut
Life is a dead end.
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ihnp4-\
sdcsvax-\ \
Andre' Hut sdcrdcf!psivax!nrcvax!andre
hplabs--/ /
ucbvax!calma-/
Network Research Corporation
923 Executive Park Dr. Suite C
Salt Lake City, Utah 84117
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Matthew P. Wiener
You may be right, but you're going to miss one hell of a party!
Sort of like missing Comet Halley, only worse.
ni...@sjuvax.uucp
>>> So here's a few NEW (!!!) "Idiot Quiz Questions" for everyone to work on.
>>>
>>> 1) What country invented French Fries?
>>>
>> Belgium.
>>>
>>> 2) What's the largest city, in land area, in the U.S.
>>>
>> Juneau, Alaska.
>>>
>>> 3) What's the first day of the 21st century?
>>>
>> January 1st, 2000
>>
> Sorry, but the 21st century starts on January 1st, 2001.
>--Doug.
For those who care, these ARE the correct answers. I suppose I should have
included a joke in the original posting since this isn't net.puzzles (thanks
to the two people who so tactfully pointed this out to me :-) ) Anyway, I
won't make the same mistake twice:
Q: What's the best thing to do with an elephant with three balls?
A: Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
{allegra|astrovax|bpa|burdvax}!sjuvax!nick
John Woods, Software
> >
> January 1st, 2000
>
the Second 101 through 200, etc. There is no year 0.
--
John Woods, Charles River Data Systems, Framingham MA, (617) 626-1101
...!decvax!frog!john, ...!mit-eddie!jfw, jfw%mit...@MIT-XX.ARPA
This space dedicated to Challenger and her crew,
Francis R. Scobee, Michael J. Smith, Ellison S. Onizuka, Judith Resnik,
Ronald E. McNair, Gregory B. Jarvis, and Christa McAuliffe.
"...and slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God."
tru...@topaz.uucp
>Life is a dead end.
No! Life is a game. Life is copyrighted by Milton Bradley. We should all
consider this the next time we want to live it up. We'll probably owe
thousands in royalties...
--
Jonathan D. Trudel arpa: tru...@blue.rutgers.edu
uucp:{seismo,allegra,ihnp4}!topaz!blue!trudel
Personally, I like my flying brains dark and evil.
lori
I bet to differ, but those are NOT the correct answers! The largest
city in the United States (in surface area) is Jacksonville, Florida. The
entire county (Jacksonville County, by the way) is incorporated. Thus the
city covers the entire county.
hp-pcd!mfc (Mark F. Cook)
N. Tasova
> > >
> > January 1st, 2000
> >
> HONK! January 1st, 2001 ! The First Century encompassed years 1 through 100,
> the Second 101 through 200, etc. There is no year 0.
>
>
> --
> John Woods, Charles River Data Systems, Framingham MA, (617) 626-1101
> ...!decvax!frog!john, ...!mit-eddie!jfw, jfw%mit...@MIT-XX.ARPA
>
>*** Francis R. Scobee, Michael J. Smith, Ellison S. Onizuka, Judith Resnik,
>*** Ronald E. McNair, Gregory B. Jarvis, and Christa McAuliffe.
>
>*** "...and slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God."
I would like to thank John Woods for making the above statement regarding
Challenger and her crew. That is the only nice thing said about them
in net.jokes where I enjoy reading the signatures more than the jokes.
If life is a joke, then GOD must be a comedian.
N. Tasova
DeKalb College
UUCP: akgua!dcc1!tas or gatech!dcc1!tas
----------------------------------------