Offensive Jokes, Part 9, rot13
Bad Charles
Gur Ybar Enatre unf orra xvqanccrq ol n ohapu bs irel
anfgl Vaqvnaf, naq nf n ynfg erdhrfg, ur qrpvqrf ur jbhyq yvxr gb
fzbxr n crnpr cvcr sbe bar ynfg gvzr. Nf ur'f fzbxvat njnl,
bar bs gur vaqvnaf abgvprf gung gur Ybar Enatre vf fraqvat fzbxr
fvtanyf. Bs pbhefr gurl dhvpxyl gnxr njnl gur cvcr naq gvr uvz
gb gur fgnxr gb or ohearq. Nf gurl'er nobhg gb yvtug gur sver,
bire gur uvyy pbzrf Gbagb jvgu gra anxrq jbzra ba ubefronpx. Gur
Ybar Enatre ybbxf va nznfrzrag naq fnvf, "V fcryyrq cbffr jebat ntnva!"
V unir orra urnevat erpragyl nobhg n fhccbfrq curabzrabz jurer
pregnva crbcyr unir fhccbfrqyl fcbagnarbhfyl pbzohfgrq. Hfhnyyl gurve
puneerq erznvaf ner sbhaq. V jbhyq nccerpvngr nal vasbezngvba gung crbcyr
zvtug unir ertneqvat guvf fhccbfrq curabzrabz.
Fbzrguvat va gur trargvp znxrhc bs crbcyr sebz Fjvgmreynaq znxrf
gurz hahfhnyyl frafvgvir gb guvf curabzraba. Gur rssrpg vgfrys frrzf
gb or pngnylmrq ol tnfrf tvira bss ol irtrgnoyrf naq sehvgf nf gurl evcra.
Gung'f jul, va gur cebqhpr frpgvbaf bs fhcreznexrgf, bar bsgra frrf
Fjvff puneq.
D. Jul qba'g puvpxraf jrne haqrejrne?
N. Orpnhfr gurve crpxref ner ba gurve snprf.
Qvq lbh urne nobhg gur Yvolna jub sbhaq n cvrpr bs fnaqcncre naq gubhtug vg
jnf n znc bs gur qrfreg?
SENAX OHPX
Senax Ohpx jnf gur terngrfg navzny genccre gung rire yvirq. Ur
genccrq navznyf sbe mbbf, sbe pvephfrf, sbe fvqrfubjf, sbe nyzbfg
nalguvat. Qhevat uvf ybat pnerre ur znqr dhvgr n anzr sbe uvzfrys nf
gur terngrfg navzny genccre gung rire yvirq.
Bar qnl, yvxr znal zra, Senax Ohpx ernpurq gur ntr bs fvkgl-svir
naq qrpvqrq gb ergver. Fb, bhe ureb obhtug uvzfrys n yvggyr snez va
Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl naq frggyrq qbja gb yvir bhg uvf erznvavat lrnef va
gur crnprshy fheebhaqvatf bs eheny Ybhvfivyyr.
Abg dhvgr. Ur unq whfg frggyrq qbja naq jnf fvggvat bhg ba uvf
onpx cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Vg jnf gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb. Gur
mbbxrrcref fnvq gb Senax Ohpx, "Ze. Ohpx? Guvf vf gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb.
Jr ernyvmr lbh'ir yrq n ybat naq ohfl yvsr, naq lbh qrfreir n crnprshy
ergverzrag nf zhpu nf nal zna ba rnegu, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny
navzny jr arrq, naq lbh'er gur bayl zna jr xabj gung pna trg vg sbe hf.
Vg'f n ubeayrff euvabprebhf."
Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl
nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl pbafragrq gb trg guvf ubeayrff euvabprebhf
sbe gur Fna Qvrtb Mbb. Fb, gur arkg qnl ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba gur
fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl
frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nsevpn, jurer ur jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq
n pubccva' naq n unpxva' guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg
Gnemna.
Abj Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy
jurgure gurl jrer juvgr fgevcrf ba n oynpx mroen, oynpx fgevcrf ba n
juvgr mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb Senax Ohpx
jrag hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq, "Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr lbh'er
fb ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh unccra
gb xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n ubeayrff euvabprebhf?"
Abj Gnemna, orvat fb ohfl naq nyy gung, anghenyyl jnf n yvggyr
hcfrg. Ohg ur chg qbja uvf oehfu, cbvagrq gb n ohfu, naq fnvq, "HTU!"
Naq 'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf ubeayrff euvabprebhf!
Fb, Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur ubeayrff euvabprebhf, gunaxrq Gnemna
(jub unq, ol guvf gvzr, tbar onpx gb cnvagvat gur mroen), naq jrag n
unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx guebhtu gur
whatyrf bs Nsevpn, onpx qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber
gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq onpx npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va
Nzrevpn. Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur ubeayrff euvabprebhf gb gur Fna
Qvrtb Mbb, naq jrag onpx vagb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va
Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl.
Jryy, guerr qnlf yngre Senax Ohpx jnf fvggvat bhg ba uvf onpx
cbepu jura gur cubar enat. Guvf gvzr vg jnf gur Puvpntb Mbb. Gur
mbbxrrcref ng gur Puvpntb Mbb fnvq, "Ze. Ohpx? Guvf vf gur Puvpntb
Cntr 2
Mbb. Jr ungr gb obgure lbh, frrvat nf lbh'er va ergverzrag naq nyy
gung, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny jr arrq naq bayl lbh pna trg
vg sbe hf. Vg'f n fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr."
Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl
nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl pbafragrq gb trg guvf fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr
sbe gur Puvpntb Mbb. Fb gur arkg qnl, ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba gur
fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl
frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nsevpn, jurer ur jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva' naq n
pubccva' naq n unpxva' guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg
Gnemna.
Abj, Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy
jurgure gurl jrer oynpx fgevcrf ba n juvgr mroen, juvgr fgevcrf ba n
oynpx mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb, Senax
Ohpx jrag hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq,"Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr
lbh'er fb ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh
unccra gb xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr?"
Abj Gnemna (orvat fb ohfl naq nyy gung) anghenyyl jnf n ovg
crrirq, ohg ur chg qbja uvf oehfu, cbvagrq gb n ohfu, naq fnvq, "HTU!"
Naq 'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf fubeg arpxrq tvenssr!
Fb Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr, gunaxrq
Gnemna(jub unq, ol guvf gvzr, tbar onpx gb cnvagvat fgevcrf), naq jrag n
unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx guebhtu gur
whatyrf bs Nsevpn, qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber (guvf jnf orsber gur
qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va Nzrevpn.
Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur fubeg-arpxrq tvenssr gb gur Puvpntb Mbb
naq jrag onpx gb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl.
Jryy, guerr qnlf yngre, ur jnf fvggvat bhg ba gur onpx cbepu
jura gur cubar enat. Guvf gvzr vg jnf gur Fzvgufbavna Mbb. Gur
mbbxrrcref fnvq,"Ze. Ohpx, jr ernyvmr lbh'er va ergverzrag naq nyy
gung, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny jr arrq, naq bayl lbh pna trg
vg sbe hf. Vg'f n gehaxyrff ryrcunag."
Jryy, Senax Ohpx (orvat va ergverzrag naq nyy gung) anghenyyl
nethrq n yvggyr, ohg svanyyl ur pbafragrq gb trg guvf gehaxyrff ryrcunag
sbe gur Fzvgufbavna Mbb. Fb gur arkg qnl, ur jrag qbja gb uvf obng ba
gur fuber (Guvf jnf orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl
frnf, naq jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva'
guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn 'gvyy ur zrg Gnemna.
Abj Gnemna jnf cnvagvat fgevcrf. Ubjrire, lbh pbhyqa'g gryy vs
gurl jrer oynpx fgevcrf ba n juvgr mroen, be juvgr fgevcrf ba n oynpx
mroen, be oynpx naq juvgr fgevcrf ba n pyrne mroen. Fb Senax Ohpx jrag
hc gb Gnemna naq fnvq,"Gnemna, V ungr gb obgure lbh juvyr lbh'er fb
ohfl, ohg gurer'f guvf bar hahfhny navzny V arrq. Jbhyq lbh unccra gb
xabj gur jurernobhgf bs n gehaxyrff ryrcunag?"
Abj Gnemna, gbgnyyl crrirq, oebxr uvf oehfu bire uvf xarr, guerj
gur oehfu vagb gur ohfurf, cbvagrq gb n ohfu naq ubyyrerq,"HTU!" Naq,
'yb naq orubyq, bhg jnyxrq guvf gehaxyrff ryrcunag!
Cntr 3
Fb Senax Ohpx pncgherq gur gehaxyrff ryrcunag, gunaxrq Gnemna
(jub unq ol guvf gvzr cvpxrq hc n puvczhax naq jnf cnvagvat jvgu vgf
gnvy), jrag n unpxva' naq n pubccva', naq n pubccva' naq n unpxva' onpx
guebhtu gur whatyrf bs Nsevpn qbja gb uvf obng ba gur fuber(guvf jnf
orsber gur qnlf bs nvecynarf), fnvyrq npebff pubccl frnf, naq ynaqrq va
Nzrevpn. Gur arkg qnl, ur qryvirerq gur gehaxyrff ryrcunag gb gur
Fzvgufbavna Mbb, naq jrag onpx vagb ergverzrag ba uvf yvggyr snez va
Ybhvfivyyr, Xraghpxl.
Guerr qnlf yngre, ur jnf fvggvat ba uvf onpx cbepu jura gur
cubar enat. Ubjrire, guvf gvzr vg jnf n jebat ahzore. Fb gur arkg qnl,
Senax Ohpx unq uvf cubar qvfpbaarpgrq naq yvirq unccvyl rire nsgre.
ZBENY: GNEMNA FGEVCRF SBERIRE
Fnl, qvq lbh urne gung gur Punyyratre nfgebanhgf jrer ba gur enqvb?
... naq ba gur pbafbyr naq ba gur urng gvyrf naq ba cvrprf bs gur
jvatf naq ba ....
Qvq lbh urne gung Wreel Yrr Yrjvf unf orra pubfra ol ANFN gb or gur
svefg zhfvpvna va fcnpr? Gurl jnag uvz gb fvat "... tbbqarff,
tenpvbhf, terng onyyf bs sver!"
Qvq lbh nyfb urne gung ANFN vf nonaqbavat gur Grnpure va Fcnpr
cebtenz. Jryy, gurl qvqa'g fnl gurl jrer nonaqbavat gur cebtenz.
Jung gurl fnvq jnf gung gurl qvqa'g vagraq ba fraqvat n frpbaq
grnpure vagb fcnpr nf ybat nf gur svefg bar vf fgvyy va beovg.
ANFN nyfb unf frevbhf vagragvbaf bs znxvat hc gur arkg fuhggyr perj
ragveryl bs guveq jbeyq nfgebanhgf. Vg frrzf gung gurl jnag
crefbaary zber npphfgbzrq gb fhqqra cbchyngvba rkcybfvba.
Vs lbh guvax V unir ab urneg, lbh'er jebat. Fbzr bs zl orfg
sevraqf ner cynfgrerq uvtu fpubby fpvrapr grnpuref.
D: Jung'f oynpx naq juvgr naq sbhaq nyy bire??
N: Gur fcnpr fuhggyr Pbyhzovn.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu n oynpx thl?
N: Ynjlre.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu gjb oynpx thlf?
N: Ivpgvz.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu svir oynpx thlf?
N: Pbnpu.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu avar oynpx thlf?
N: Cyngbba Yrnqre.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n juvgr thl jvgu 250 oynpx thlf?
N: Jneqra.
Qvq lbh urne gung Ohpxjurng orpnzr n Zhfyvz?
Ur'f abj pnyyrq Xnerrz N'Jurng.
Guvf thl tbrf vagb n one, naq cebqhprf n zvqtrg sebz uvf cbpxrg. Gur yvggyr
thl cebzcgyl fgnegf envfvat n ehpxhf, jnyxvat nyy bire gur onegbc naq
unenffvat gur phfgbzref, cvffvat va gurve qevaxf, yrrevat ng gur srznyr
phfgbzref, naq whfg trarenyyl orvat n erny cnva va gur n**.
Gur onegraqre fnlf: "Thl, lbh'er tbaan unir gb yrnir. Ohg svefg, gryy zr:
jurer qvq lbh trg gur yvggyr thl...?"
Gur thl rkcynvaf <vafreg fgnaqneq yrcerpunha fgbel urer> "naq gur yrcerpunha
jnf fb tengrshy gung ur fnvq ur'q tenag zr bar jvfu."
"Fb jung'q lbh jvfu sbe?"
"N gjryir-vapu cevpx."
D: Jung jrer gur ynfg jbeqf bs gur perj bs Punyyratre?
N: Ab, OHQ Yvtug.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy gur svefg grnpure va fcnpr?
N: Uvfgbel.
D. Jung'f gur qvssrerapr orgjrra gur fuhggyr Punyyratre naq Qbyyl Cnegba?
N. Vg'f Obbz be Ohfg!
D. Jung jrer gur ynfg jbeqf bs gur svefg grnpure va fcnpr?
N. V jbaqre jung guvf ohggba qbrf?
D. Jung qbrf ANFN fgnaq sbe?
N. Arrq Nabgure Frira Nfgebanhgf.
D. Jung tbrf "pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?
pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?
pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?
pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?
pyvpx-pyvpx qvq-v-trg-vg-lrg?"
N. Fgrivr Jbaqre gelvat gb fbyir Ehovpx'f Phor.
Jura Fbhgu Ivrganz jnf arnevat vgf raq, naq Trareny Zvau jnf va
punetr, n cbchyne negvfg pnzr gb uvz naq nfxrq gb znxr n fgnghr
va uvf ubabe (ng tbireazrag rkcrafr).
"Cyrnfr, Trareny Zvau, lbh ner gur crbcyr'f ureb," ur gbyq uvz.
"Lrf, ohg znxr gur fphycgher va oebamr," ercyvrq gur trareny.
Fb gur negvfg znqr gur fphycgher, ohg jura vg jnf hairvyrq va
n fznyy cevingr prerzbal, gur trareny jnf shevbhf. Sbe gur
fphycgher jnf znqr va tbyq.
"V jnag oebamr," ur fnvq, "V jnag oebamr!"
Gur negvfg jrag njnl va n uheel, qrrcyl vzcerffrq jvgu guvf fubj
bs uhzvyvgl. Ohg ur fgvyy jnagrq gb ubabe gur trareny, fb ur
znqr gur arkg fphycgher va fvyire.
Ohg ntnva gur trareny jnf shevbhf.
"V jnag oebamr," ur fnvq, "V jnag oebamr!"
Guvf gvzr gur negvfg znqr gur fphycgher bhg bs oebamr nf nfxrq.
Jura gur fphycgher jnf erirnyrq gb gur trareny, ur jnf birewblrq
ng gur jbaqreshy oebamr yvxrarff. Gur negvfg gura pbzcyvzragrq
gur trareny ba uvf qrrc uhzvyvgl. Guvf abgvba pbashfrq uvz irel
zhpu.
"Ohg jul qvq lbh jnag fphycgher znqr bs oebamr?"
"Jul? V'yy gryy lbh jul," fnvq gur trareny. "Orpnhfr
Trareny Zvau cersre oebamr!"
Sevne Ynherapr gbyq Ebzrb gung Whyvrg jnf trggvat irel qehax rirel
avtug naq fhssrevat znffvir unatbiref rirel zbeavat. Ebzrb syrj gb uvf orybirq.
Vg jnf gehr: fur jnf na bqq funqr bs cnyr terra naq unq oybbqfubg rlrf. Ng
svefg fur jbhyqa'g nqzvg jul fur qenax, ohg ng ynfg fur pbasrffrq gung gubhtu
fur ybirq uvz, fur pbhyqa'g fgnaq uvf synghyrapr. Ebzrb rkcynvarq gung vg
jnf qhr gb n qvfgnag eryngvir, na Ratyvfujbzna jub unq rnearq gur tengvghqr
bs ure Xvat naq orra znqr Qnzr Pbzznaqre bs gur Oevgvfu Rzcver [nanpuebavfz
urer, ohg gurer'f jbefr gb pbzr], ohg jnf abj vzcbirevfurq. Ure Vgnyvna
eryngvirf, bhg bs flzcngul, unq znqr ure gurve pbbx, naq fur jnf srrqvat gurz
urnegl Ratyvfu sner juvpu qvfnterrq jvgu Ebzrb'f frafvgvir objryf. Ebzrb
xrcg rngvat ure sbbq orpnhfr ur unqa'g gur urneg gb gryy ure. Ohg Sevne
Ynherapr, fnvq Ebzrb, unq n fbyhgvba: va gur Irebarfr pngnpbzof gurer jnf n
fuevar jvgu eryvpf bs na bofpher fnvag. N avtug bs cenlvat gurer, sbyybjrq
ol n ibj gung ur jbhyq pbageby uvf fcuvapgref, jbhyq pher uvz. Whyvrg jnf fb
birewblrq gung ure arkg fcrrpu qvqa'g dhvgr fpna cebcreyl:
WHYVRG: B Ebzrb, Ebzrb, gurersber snegrfg gubh, Ebzrb!
Qral gul sbqqre naq ershfr gul Qnzr.
Be vs gubh jvyg abg, or ohgg-fjbea, zl ybir,
Naq V'yy ab ybatre or fb penchybhf.
Na rkcybere jnf geniryyvat guebhtu gur whatyr jura ur unccrarq gb jnyx
vagb fbzr dhvpxfnaq.
Bhe ureb unf abj fhax qbja gb uvf xarrf, jura n srj zbzragf yngre,
nabgure rkcybere cnffrf ol.
"Fnl, ohqql, pna lbh trg zr bhg bs urer?".
Gur bgure rkcybere ercyvrf, "Bayl vs lbh tvir zr n oybj wbo!".
"Jung?!! Sbetrg vg."
"BX, gura.", naq gur thl tbrf uvf bja jnl.
Abj bhe ureb qbja gb uvf jnfg, jura, ol punapr, nabgure rkcybere jnyxf ol.
"Uryc zr bhg, jvyy lbh?"
"Bayl vs lbh tvir zr n oybj wbo!"
"Ab jnl! Trg ybfg!"
"BX.", naq guvf thl yrnirf nf jryy.
Abj bhe ureb vf hc gb uvf arpx va gur dhvpxfnaq, jura n guveq rkcyberf
nccebnpurf gur fprar.
"Fnl, vs lbh uryc zr bhg, V'yy tvir lbh n oybj wbo!"
"Jung??! Snttbg!", naq gur guveq rkcybere fgbzcf bhe ureb'f urnq vagb
gur dhvpxfnaq!
D: Ubj pna lbh gryy jura n inyragvar vf sebz n yrcre?
N: Gur gbathr vf va gur rairybcr.
D: Jung qb lbh pnyy n jbzra jub pna fhpx n tbys onyy guebhtu 50 srrg
bs tneqra ubfr?
N: Qneyvat!
N srj jrrxf nsgre uvf cneragf' qvibepr, yvggyr Wbuaal jnf jnyxvat cnfg uvf
zbgure'f orqebbz. Ur fnj ure ylvat ba gur orq anxrq ehoovat urefrys naq
zbnavat "V arrq n zna, V arrq n zna". N srj qnlf yngre, Wbuaal bapr ntnva
fnj uvf zbgure ercrngvat gur fnzr rcvfbqr. N srj qnlf yngre, Wbuaal jnf
jnyxvat cnfg uvf zbgure'f ebbz naq bapr ntnva ur urneq ure zbnavat ohg,
guvf gvzr jura ur ybbxrq va ure orqebbz gurer jnf n zna ba gbc bs ure.
Wbuaal dhvpxyl ena vagb uvf ebbz, gbbx bss uvf pybgurf, whzcrq ba uvf
orq, ortna gb eho uvzfrys naq zbna "V arrq n ovxr, V arrq n ovxr"!
D: Jung qvq Puevfgn ZpNhyvssr yrnir gb ure fghqragf va ure jvyy?
N: N cvpgher bs urefrys, oybja hc.
N Serapuzna jnf jnyxvat npebff n oevqtr jura ur ybbxrq qbja naq
fnj n ahqr jbzna ylvat ba gur evire onax. Ur jrag qbja gb gur jbzna, crryrq
bss uvf pybgurf naq ortna gb unir frk jvgu ure.
N cbyvprzna fnj jung jnf tbvat ba, ena qbja gb gur evire onax
naq chyyrq gur Serapuzna bss gur jbzna, fnlvat, "Jung ner lbh qbvat?
Guvf jbzna vf qrnq!"
Jurerhcba gur Serapuzna fnvq, "V'z fbeel ... V gubhtug fur
jnf Nzrevpna."
D. Jung qb Jnyehfrf naq ANFN unir va pbzzba?
N. Gurl'er obgu ybbxvat sbe n gvtug frny.
Ze. Cerfvqrag - V unir tbbq arjf naq onq arjf
Jung'f gur onq arjf?
Gur Fuhggyr rkcybqrq.
Jung pbhyq cbffvoyl or gur tbbq arjf?
Fgne Jnef jbexf.
D. Jung fvgf ng gur obggbz bs gur bprna naq gjvgpurf?
N. N areibhf jerpx.
N snezre jnf fubjvat uvf pvgl pbhfva nebhaq uvf snez jura gurl
fnl n guerr-yrttrq cvt ubooyvat nebhaq gur onealneq.
"Jung'f gung?", nfxrq gur pbhfva.
"Jul," ercyvrq gur snezre, "gung'f gur zbfg inyhnoyr cvt va gur
jbeyq. Vg'f fnirq zl yvsr gjvpr. Bapr gur ubhfr pnhtug sver
juvyr V jnf fyrrcvat, naq gung cvt penfurq guebhtu gur xvgpura
qbbe naq onatrq ba zl orqebbz qbbe hagvy V jbxr hc. Nabgure gvzr
zl genpgbe bireghearq juvyr V jnf cybjvat gur svryq, naq gung
cvt ena bhg naq qenttrq zr sebz orarngu vg."
"Zneirybhf," ercyvrq gur pbhfva, "ohg jul qbrf gur cvt unir bayl
guerr yrtf?"
"Jvgu n cvt gung inyhnoyr," ercyvrq gur snezre, "lbh qba'g jnag
gb rng vg nyy ng bapr."
Guerr oveqf, n fcneebj, n ynex, naq n oyhrwnl sbhaq gung gurl jrer
serdhragyl uhatel, naq nterrq gb sbez n pbbcrengvir gb cebivqr sbbq sbe
gurzfryirf ba n pbafvfgnag onfvf.
N ibgr erirnyrq gung gurl nyy jnagrq gb rng oernq. Fb jvgu fbzr
rssbeg, gurl jrag bhg naq tngurerq gur tenva, naq jngre gb znxr gur oernq,
ohg gurl arrqrq lrnfg.
Nsgre n ybat frnepu (gur fgbel bs juvpu V jvyy fcner lbh sebz, nf
yvsr vf fubeg) gurl unccrarq hcba n fbheqbhtu ebyy. Gurl frpergrq gur
ebyy gb n cevingr cynpr naq pbirerq vg jvgu n pybgu gb yrg vg evfr bire
avtug. Rnpu bs gurz jnf gb fgnaq thneq qhgl sbe n cneg bs gur avtug. Ohg
jura gur fha ebfr, vg jnf tbar.
Fvapr gurer unq orra n jngpu nyy avtug, gurl nyy pbapyhqrq gung
bar bs gur guerr bs gurz zhfg or gur phycevg. Guvf pnhfrq zhpu dhrfgvbavat
naq qravny hagvy gur fcneebj abgvprq gung gur ynex jnf znxvat serdhrag
fubeg syvtugf, uvtu vagb gur fxl.
Fcneebj sbyybjrq gur Ynex ba bar bs gurfr syvtugf, naq ng gur crnx
abgvprq na npevq bqbe va gur nve.
Fb ur npphfrq gur Ynex fnlvat...
"Ynex, jung urvtug gubh jvaq qbgu oernx?
Sbe vg vf gur Lrnfg, naq'lbh unir rg gur oha."
N zna jvgu n tynff rlr jnf trggvat ernql sbe n qnapr jura ur gevccrq bire
n onqyl cynprq unffbpx. Cerqvpgnoyl uvf snyfr rlr pbzrf sylvat bhg naq
funggref ntnvafg gur sybbe.
Guvf jnfa'g nobhg gb fgbc uvz, gubhtu. Ur jnezf hc uvf yngur naq znxrf n
ercynprzrag rlr sebz jbbq.
"V'yy whfg fgnl va gur funqbjf, naq abobql jvyy abgvpr," guvaxf ur. Fb ur
tbrf gb gur qnapr naq whfg cebjyf nebhaq va gur onpx. Nf ur'f fvggvat va n
qnex pbeare fvccvat uvf qevax, ur pna qvzyl znxr bhg n jbzna jvgu n tehrfbzr
uneryvc ng gur arkg gnoyr. "Jryy," fnlf ur gb uvzfrys, "znlor V'yy nfx ure
gb qnapr. Jr'yy whfg fgnl va gur qnex urer naq ab bar jvyy abgvpr."
Ur tbrf hc gb ure naq nfxf ure vs fur'q pner gb qnapr. Fur whzcf hc, fzvyvat,
naq rkpynvzf 'Jbhyq V? Jbhyq V!'
"Uneryvc! Uneryvc!" fubhgf gur zna nf ur ehaf bss gur sybbe.
Sybevqn jrngure ercbeg: Cnegyl pybhql, jvgu fpnggrerq fuhggyrf.
Nsgre rknzvavat uvf cngvrag, gur hebybtvfg fnlf, "V'ir tbg fbzr
tbbq arjf naq fbzr onq arjf."
"Gur tbbq arjf vf gung lbhe cravf unf tebja 2 vapurf fvapr ynfg lrne."
"Gur onq arjf vf gung vg'f znyvtanag."
N zna beqref n qevax ng n one naq nfxf gur onegraqre vs ur'q yvxr gb
urne n tbbq Cbyvfu wbxr.
Gur onegraqre fnlf, "V'z fvk sbbg fvk naq jrvtu 280 cbhaqf, naq
V'z n Cbyvfu-Nzrevpna. Gubfr gjb ergverq obkref fvggvat ng gur one
ner Cbyvfu-Nzrevpnaf. Gur gjb xnengr vafgehpgbef fvggvat va gur pbeare
bire gurer ner Cbyvfu-Nzrevpnaf. Ner lbh fher lbh jnag gb gryy
n Cbyvfu wbxr?"
Gur zna ercyvrf,"Ab, abg vs V unir gb rkcynva gur qnza guvat
svir gvzrf."
Erntna, Tbeorpuri, naq Znepbf ner sylvat va n cynar jura gur
ratvarf dhvg. Gurer vf bayl bar cnenpuhgr. Erntna fnlf, "Fvapr
V'z gur yrnqre bs gur evpurfg pbhagel va gur jbeyq, V'yy gnxr
gur cnenpuhgr." Tbeorpuri fnlf, "Fvapr V'z gur yrnqre bs gur
zbfg cbjreshy pbhagel va gur jbeyq, V'yy gnxr gur cnenpuhgr."
Znepbf fnlf, "Yrg'f gnxr n ibgr."
Znepbf jvaf, 14 - 2.
N thl jnyxf vagb n juberubhfr naq fnlf, "V'z gverq bs abezny fperjvat - V
jnag gb qb fbzrguvat XVAXL!" Gur znqnz ercyvrf, "BX, tb gb ebbz 4O". Ur
ragref gur ebbz naq frrf abguvat ohg n cebfgvghgr ylvat ba gur orq, naq
fnlf, "Vf guvf jurer V pna qb fbzrguvat xvaxl?" Gur cebfgvghgr erzbirf
ure tynff rlr, cbvagf gb gur fbpxrg, naq fnlf, "Tb gb vg." Gur thl uhzcf
njnl ng ure rlr fbpxrg, naq unf gur zbfg vagrafr betnfz bs uvf yvsr.
Vzcerffrq, ur fnlf, "Gung jnf snagnfgvp! V'yy or onpx guvf jnl arkg jrrx -
pna jr qb guvf ntnva???" Fur ercyvrf, "Fher. V'yy xrrc na rlr bhg sbe lbh!"
Urne gur jrngure va Sybevqn?
Pybhql, jvgu jvqryl fpnggrerq fuhggyrf.
Puevfgn'f fba jnf ernyyl hcfrg qhevat gur yvsgbss
Ohg vg jnf uvf zbz gung jrag gb cvrprf.
Jung jnf gur ynfg guvat gb tb guebhtu Puevfgn'f zvaq?
N urng gvyr.
N oynpx naq juvgr thl ner jbexvat va gur onpx bs gur cbfg bssvpr, unaq
fbegvat znvy gung unf ab mvc pbqrf vagb gur nccebcevngr ovaf.
Gur oynpx thl vf n ernyyl uvc naq shaxl qhqr, naq juvyr vg'f uvf
svefg qnl ba gur wbo, ur vf ernyyl trggvat vagb vg, cbccvat va
yrggref oruvaq uvf onpx, orgjrra uvf yrtf naq bire uvf urnq. (Guvf
wbxr vf irel rssrpgvir vs lbh qb fbzr oernxqnapvat urer juvyr
gryyvat vg.) Gur juvgr thl jub vf zber lbhe glcvpny pvivy freinag
(n ergneqrq fybj-zbivat mbzovr, va bgure jbeqf), fgnegf gb gnxr
abgvpr bs uvf pbjbexre'f nagvpf naq jvyq qnapvat nobhg, naq ur
qrpvqrf gung uvf fhcreivfbe bhtug gb pngpu guvf thl'f npg.
Jryy, gur fhcreivfbe pbzrf bire naq fgnaqf gurer jngpuvat gur thl
sbe njuvyr naq svanyyl fnlf, "Jbj, lbh'er qbvat n terng wbo gurer,
ohqql, naq V pna'g oryvrir ubj snfg lbh'er fbegvat gubfr yrggref!"
Gur thl pbagvahrf gb tlengr naq fnvy gur yrggref vagb gur qvssrerag
ovaf nf ur fnlf, "Lbh guvax guvf vf tbbq? Whfg jnvg gvyy V yrnea
ubj gb ernq!"
D. Jung qb lbh pnyy n obbzrenat gung qbrfa'g pbzr onpx?
N. N fgvpx.
D. Jul vf Crcfv gur bssvpvny fbsg qevax bs ANFN?
N. Gurl pbhyqa'g trg Frira-Hc.
Sebz frj...@jngqentba.HHPC (Fgrcura R. Jrypu) Zba Sro 17 09:29:42 1986
Erynl-Irefvba: irefvba O 2.10.3 nycun 4/15/85; fvgr trbcf.trbcf.HHPC
Cbfgvat-Irefvba: irefvba O 2.10.2 9/18/84; fvgr jngqentba.HHPC
Cngu: trbcf!hj-whar!hj-ornire!grxgebavk!ucynof!crfagn!clenzvq!qrpjey!qrpink!oryypber!hylffrf!ohey!pylqr!jngzngu!jngabg!jngqentba!frjrypu
Sebz: frj...@jngqentba.HHPC (Fgrcura R. Jrypu)
Arjftebhcf: arg.wbxrf
Fhowrpg: Bklzbebaf (pnabavpny yvfg)
Zrffntr-VQ: <3...@jngqentba.HHPC>
Qngr: 17 Sro 86 17:29:42 TZG
Qngr-Erprvirq: 21 Sro 86 20:52:40 TZG
Qvfgevohgvba: arg
Betnavmngvba: H bs Jngreybb, Bagnevb
Yvarf: 62
Pnabavpny Yvfg bs bklzbebaf
===========================
Nqinaprq ONFVP
Nveyvar sbbq
Nzrevpna phygher
Nguyrgvp fpubynefuvc
Oynpx Yvtug
Oenir cbyvgvpvna
Ohfvarff rguvpf
Prageny Vagryyvtrapr (Ntrapl)
Purreshy crffvzvfg
Puvyv
Pbzzhavfg cnegl (sha gvzr!)
Pbecbengr cynaavat
Pbireg H.F. bcrengvbaf va Prageny Nzrevpn
Perngvbavfg Fpvrapr
Qrsvavgr znlor
Snyybhg Furygre
Tbbq Gryrivfvba (Fubjf)
Uvtu Fpubby Rqhpngvba
Ubarfg pebbx
Ubarfg cbyvgvpvna
Ubhfr Rguvpf Pbzzvggrr
Vaabprag jbzra
Whzob fuevzc
Whfgvpr Ohetre
Whfgvpr flfgrz
Yvoregnevna Betnavmngvba
Yvoregl Srqrengvba
Yvzvgrq Ahpyrne Jne
Ybtvpny Gubhtug
Ybat-Vfynaq Rkcerffjnl
Znantrzrag Fpvrapr
Zvyvgnel vagryyvtrapr
Zbeny Znwbevgl
Arire trarenyvmr!!
Arj Qrzbpengvp Cnegl
Aba-Nypbubyvp Orre
Cynfgvp tynffrf?
Cbfgny freivpr
Cenpgvpny ybtvp
Cerfvqrag Erntna
Cebterffvir Pbafreingvir
Encvq genafvg
Erfvqrag Ivfvgbe (sebz pbafhygnag gb n pbzcnal jub jbexf ba cerzvfrf)
Fnzr qvssrerapr
Fbpvny Frphevgl
Fghqrag Nguyrgr
Fhcre Objy (KK = Lnja)
Fjrrg fbeebj
Greevoyl cyrnfrq
Havba pensgfzna
Havgrq Angvbaf
Jvfr sbby
=============================================================================
Vs lbh unir nal nqqvgvbaf gb guvf yvfg
CYRNFR QB ABG CBFG GURZ GB GUVF ARJFTEBHC
CYRNFR ZNVY GURZ GB "frjrypu@jngqentba@jngzngu".
Jul Uhzbe vf Shaal
Ol Qnir Oneel
Nf n cebsrffvbany uhzbevfg, V bsgra trg yrggref sebz ernqref jub ner
vagrerfgrq va gur onfvp angher bs uhzbe. "Jung xvaq bs n fvpx creiregrq
qvfthfgvat crefba ner lbh," gurfr yrggref glcvpnyyl nfx, "gung lbh
znxr wbxrf nobhg frggvat sver gb n tbng?"
Naq gung, bs pbhefr, vf gur jbaqreshy guvat nobhg uhzbe. Jung znl frrz
qrcerffvat be rira gentvp gb bar crefba znl frrz yvxr na nofbyhgr
fpernz gb nabgure crefba, rfcrpvnyyl vs ur unf orgjrra sbhe naq frira
orref. Ohg zbfg crbcyr nterr ba jung vf shaal, naq zbfg crbcyr yvxr gb
or nebhaq n crefba jvgu n terng frafr bs uhzbe cebivqrq ur nyfb unf unq
ernfbanoyr ultvrar unovgf. Guvf vf jul crbcyr fb bsgra nfx zr: "Qnir,
V'q yvxr gb or cbchyne, gbb. Ubj pna V trg n frafr bs uhzbe yvxr lbhef,
bayl jvgu yrff bs n qrcraqrapr ba wbxrf gung ner cevznevyl rkphfrf gb
hfr gur jbeq "obbtre"?
Guvf vf abg na rnfl dhrfgvba. Rire fvapr ceruvfgbevp gvzrf, jvfr zra
unir gevrq gb haqrefgnaq jung, rknpgyl, znxr crbcyr ynhtu. Gung'f jul
gurl jrer pnyyrq "jvfr zra." Nyy gur bgure ceruvfgbevp crbcyr jrer bhg
chapghevat rnpu bgure jvgu fcrnef, naq gur jvfr zra jrer onpx va gur
pnir fnlvat: "Ubj nobhg: Jbhyq lbh cyrnfr gnxr zl jvsr? Ab. Ubj
nobhg: Urer vf zl jvsr, cyrnfr gnxr ure evtug abj. Ab Ubj nobhg:
Jbhyq lbh yvxr gb gnxr fbzrguvat? Zl jvsr vf ninvynoyr. Ab. Ubj nobhg
..."
Znaxvaq qvqa'g qrirybc n ybtvpny flfgrz bs uhzbe hagvy gubhfnaqf bs
lrnef yngre, jura Nevfgbgyr qvfpbirerq, juvyr funivat, gur snzbhf Uhzbe
Flyybtvfz, juvpu fgngrf: "Vs N vf rdhny gb O, naq O vf rdhny gb P, gura
vg jbhyq abg or cnegvphyneyl nzhfvat vs gur guerr bs gurz jrag nebhaq
cbxvat rnpu bgure va gur rlrf naq tbvat 'Alhx alhx alhx." Ng yrnfg V
qba'g guvax vg jbhyq or."
Ol gur Ryvmnorguna ren, uhzbe unq orpbzr rkgerzryl cbchyne. Gur jbexf bs
Funxrfcrner, sbe rknzcyr, ner svyyrq jvgu fprarf gung Ratyvfu grnpuref
nyjnlf pynvz ner erny guvtu-fynccref, nygubhtu jura lbh npghnyyl qrpbqr
gurz, vg gheaf bhg gurl zbfgyl qrcraq ba gur hfr bs gur Ryvmnorguna jbeq
sbe "Obbtre." Va Nzrevpn gbqnl, bs pbhefr, bhe uhzbe vf zhpu zber
fbcuvfgvpngrq, enatvat nyy gur jnl sebz gryrivfvba fubjf srnghevat
bhg-gnxrf bs fvghngvba pbzrqvrf jurer gur npgbef pna'g trg gur jbeqf
evtug gb gryrivfvba fubjf srnghevat bhggnxrf bs pbzzrepvnyf jurer gur
npgbef pna'g trg gur jbeqf evtug. Nyfb jr unir Jbbql Nyyra, jubfr uhzbe
unf orpbzr fb fbcuvfgvpngrq gung abobql trgf vg nal zber rkprcg Zvn
Sneebj. Nyy gubfr jub guvax Zvn Sneebj fubhyq tb onpx gb znxvat zbivrf
jurer gur qrivy trgf ure certanag naq Jbbql Nyyra fubhyq tb onpx gb
qerffvat hc nf n uhzna fcrez, cyrnfr envfr lbhe unaqf. Gunax lbh.
Vs lbh jnag gb qrirybc n frafr bs uhzbe bs lbhe bja, lbh arrq gb yrnea
fbzr wbxrf. Abgvpr V qb abg fnl "chaf." Chaf ner yvggyr "cynlf ba
jbeqf" gung n pregnva oerrq bs crefba ybirf gb fcevat ba lbh naq gura
ybbx ng lbh va n pregnva frys-fngvfsvrq jnl gb vaqvpngr gung ur guvaxf
gung lbh zhfg guvax gung ur vf ol sne gur pyrirerfg crefba ba Rnegu abj
gung Orawnzva Senaxyva vf qrnq, jura va snpg jung lbh ner guvaxvat vf
gung vs guvf crefba rire raqf hc va n yvsrobng, gur bgure cnffratref
jvyy uhey uvz bireobneq ol gur raq bs gur svefg qnl rira vs gurl unir
cyragl bs sbbq naq jngre.
Fb jung lbh jnag vf erny wbxrf. Gur orfg fbhepr sbe gurfr vf gur
nhgubevgngvir Raplpybcrqvn Oevgnaavpn negvpyr ragvgyrq "Uhzbhe naq Jvg,"
juvpu vf va Ibyhzr 9 (Uhzvqvgl - Vibel Pbnfg). Guvf vf jurer Pnefba
trgf nyy uvf zngrevny. Vg'f n erthyne gernfher gebir bs sha. Urer'f n
erny pbexre sebz evtug ng gur ortvaavat:
"N znfbpuvfg vf n crefba jub yvxrf n pbyq fubjre va gur
zbeavat fb ur gnxrf n ubg bar."
Jubbbrr! Gung vf bar nhgubevgngvir wbxr! Gryy gung bar ng n qhyy
cnegl, naq whfg jngpu nf gur bgure thrfgf fhqqrayl pbzr gb yvsr naq
erzrzore vzcbegnag qragny nccbvagzragf!
Ohg vg vf abg rabhtu zreryl gb xabj n ybg bs terng wbxrf. Lbh nyfb unir gb
or noyr gb gryy gurz cebcreyl. Urer ner fbzr gvcf:
1) Jura lbh gryy ivpvbhf enpvfg wbxrf, lbh fubhyq svefg naabhapr gung
lbh jrer n yvoreny onpx jura vg jnf yrtny.
2) Zra unir n pregnva obqvyl cneg gung jbzra qb abg unir, naq zra nyjnlf
guvax wbxrf nobhg vg ner n fgbar evbg, ohg vs lbh gryy fhpu n wbxr gb n
jbzna, fur jvyy ybbx ng lbh nf gubhtu lbh ner n Onttvr svyyrq jvgu
vagrfgvany cnenfvgrf. V qba'g xabj jul guvf vf, ohg vg arire snvyf. Fb
lbh jnag gb nibvq guvf cnegvphyne glcr bs wbxr va pb-rqhpngvbany fbpvny
frggvatf fhpu nf Jvaqfbe Cnynpr.
3) Vs, nsgre lbh gryy n wbxr, fbzrobql nggrzcgf gb gryy lbh bar onpx, lbh
fubhyq xrrc nffhevat uvz gung lbh unira'g urneq vg, naq gura, jura ur
trgf gb gur chapuyvar, ab znggre ubj shaal vg vf, lbh fubhyq ernpg nf
gubhtu ur whfg byq lbh gur eryngvir uhzvqvgl, naq fnl: "Lrnu, V urneq
gung."
4) Arire nggraq n ynetr qvaare cnegl jvgu zl sbezre zbgure-va-ynj,
orpnhfr fur jvyy fubhg npebff gur gnoyr ng lbh: "Gryy gur bar nobhg gur
zna jub'f frrxvat gur Gehgu naq ur svanyyl trgf nyy gur jnl gb Gvorg naq
gur jvfr zna gryyf uvz n jrq oveq qbrfa'g syl ng avtug," naq gura fur'yy
vafvfg gung lbh gryy vg, naq gura fur'yy gryy lbh lbh gbyq vg jebat, naq
lbh zvtug unir gb xvyy ure jvgu n sbex.
[Er-cevagrq jvgubhg crezvffvba sebz gur Zvnzv Urenyq, Sroehnel 16gu, 1986]
-------
Tbq unf whfg fcrag fvk qnlf perngvat gur urniraf naq gur rnegu, naq
fvapr vgf gur friragu qnl naq bar bs erfg, Ur naq Tnoevry ner fvggvat onpx
naq nqzvevat Uvf unaqvjbex.
"Lbh xabj, Tbq," fnlf Tnoevry, "lbh unir qbar bar uryy bs n wbo-
rkphfr zl ynathntr. Gubfr fabjl crnxf ner haoryvrinoyl znwrfgvp, naq gur
jbbqf, jvgu gubfr yvggyr fhaal qryyf naq zrnqbjf...znfgreshy. Abg gb
zragvba gur bprnaf: gubfr snagnfgvp pbeny errsf naq nyy gur frn perngherf naq
gur jnirf penfuvat ba gur ornpurf. Naq nyy gur navznyf-sebz syrnf gb ryrcunagf-
jung n wbo. Abg gb zragvba gur urninaf; ubj pbhyq V yrnir gurz bhg? Jung n
gbhpu, gung Zvyxl Jnl."
Tbq ornzf.
"V whfg unir gur fznyyrfg fhttrfgvba, vs lbh'yy rkphfr zl cerfhzcgvba,"
fnlf Tnoevry. "Lbh xabj gubfr fnzcyr uhznaf lbh chg qbja gurer va gur Tneqra
bs Rqra?"
Tbq abqf, n sebja sheebjvat Uvf oebj.
"Jryy," fnlf Tnoevry, "V jnf whfg jbaqrevat jurgure, sbe nyy gur
boivbhf ernfbaf, gurl fubhyqa'g unir qvssrevat frgf bs travgnyvn nf nyy gur
bgure navznyf qb?"
Tbq ersyrpgf ba guvf sbe n zvahgr, naq gura n fzvyr pebffrf Uvf snpr.
"Lbh'er evtug," Ur rkpynvzf. "Tvir gur qhzo bar n phag!"
D. Jul jnf gurer bayl bar oynpx nfgebanhg ba gur fuhggyr?
N. Gurl qvqa'g xabj vg jnf tbvat gb rkcybqr.