Burning Rome (Bugs Bunny style)
Melinda M. Fox
>I need the name of the cartoon and the rest of a Bug's song.
>
>Situation: Elmer has dug up Bugs and carried him to his top floor
>apt. Bugs wakes up, walks inside to the HUGE Roman bathtub, and
>starts swimming. At this point he sings a song that starts out with:
>
> "Be it ever so crumbly, there's no place like Rome"
> ...
>
>Can anyone finish it please? -dvb
Be it ever som crumbly, there's no place like Rome..
Nero, he was the emperor, and the palace was his home..
But he liked to play with matches, and for
a fire yearned,
So he burned Rome to ashes, and fiddled while it burned.
(On the note for yearned, he has to get out of the bathtub
and find a piano to get the correct note since he tried
the notes above and below the correct note....)
Melinda
--
Melinda M. Fox
"There's no place like Narnia!!!"
School of Information & Computer Science, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
Pony express : PO Box 34709, Georgia Tech, Atlanta, Georgia 30332
CSNet: zorro@GATech ARPA: zorro%GATech.CSNet @ CSNet-Relay.ARPA
UUCP: ...!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!zorro
bi...@persci.uucp
> Be it ever som crumbly, there's no place like Rome..
> Nero, he was the emperor, and the palace was his home..
>
> But he liked to play with matches, and for a fire yearned,
> So he burned Rome to ashes, and fiddled while it burned.
Unfortunately, the fiddle hadn't been invented yet. It is a matter of
historical record (I'm told) that Nero *was* an accomplished bagpiper
(along with other notables such as Henry VIII).
Bizarre image: Nero piping while Rome burns!
(Playing "A Flame of Wrath...", perhaps?)
--
William Swan {ihnp4,decvax,allegra,...}!uw-beaver!tikal!persci!bill
"Ask not what you can do for your country,
ask what your country is going to do to you!"
Thomas a Coxus
And now, for something completely different.
The Perfect Cup of Office Coffee
The difficulties and hazards of Office Coffee are too well known to
you for me to have to repeat them: how each pot inexplicably has
a different flavor from the last; how coffee that is too hot to drink
when first poured is too cold when you finally remember it; how
the proper proportions of creamer and sugar seem to defy human
measurement and control.
After years of consuming my daily liter of coffee without
complaint, yet without fulfillment, I and a team of researchers have
finally hit upon a method of controlling the pernicious factors that
vex us who rely on coffee to keep our blood moving before noon.
That is, the Brandy Strategy.
The Brandy Strategy is none other than an adaptation of the
solution to a similar difficulty with brandy, solved only after much
effort and expense. Brandy, though made from wine, does not have
a vintage. This is because brandy is stored in large vats, several
hundred gallons at least, into which each year is added that year's
brandy production, and from which is taken that year's brandy to
sell. But out of the hundred gallons in a vat, only twenty are from
the new year -- the other eighty are left from last year. Thus the
taste of a given brandy changes almost none from year to year.
Apply the concept to coffee. Just never empty the cup.
Certainly you should drink more than twenty percent; for this
application you need leave no more than half of a good cup.
When you are down to half a cup, you should wait for the
remaining liquid to cool to room temperature. Then add piping-hot
coffee to fill. The end product is almost always the perfect
temperature for immediate consumption.
Further, if the first cup was good, then even if the next pot was
made by the boys in the mailroom as a substitute for glue solvent,
your second cup will be, at worst, only half bad. This is more
insurance that you need not suffer unduly from the bad habits of
your officemates. [If, however, it was your first cup that was bad,
don't be shy about tossing it out.]
Now add half the amount of sugar or creamer that you'd use for
a normal cup. Studies have shown that it is impossible for a
normal adult to properly estimate the correct proportions without
measuring spoons, and most offices provide nothing but a swizzel
stick, so this can be a trying experience for any caffeine addict.
Not to worry. With half a cup drunk, you will already know
how far off your mixture is. And guessing half an unknown is
much easier than guessing the whole thing. Experience has shown
that by the end of a business day, a virgin cup can be refined to
near-perfection, often within three or four tries.
If, by the end of the day, you have what may almost be the
Perfect Cup, then do not despair. Put the cup, half full, on your
desk and leave it for the night. It cannot get any colder than room
temperature, and the next morning you will cleverly avoid having
to wait for your first cup to cool. Do not underestimate the good
this does for morale in the early a. m.
Experience is a good teacher, and she has shown that a weekend
is in fact just a bit too long to leave your coffee. This had been a
hot debate until one of the strongest pro-weekenders was throttled
by something that had spawned in his cup over the
Thanksgiving holiday just last year.
Apparantly these creatures are no more easygoing than we are early on a
Monday morning.
Copyright c 1985 by Thomas Cox. All rights reserved. Permission to
reprint is given provided this notice is left intact.
Scott Crenshaw
o o o (Refering to a cup of coffee left overnight...)
> It cannot get any colder than room
> temperature,
This is not true. The coffee may indeed become colder than room
temperature , due to the cooling effect of evaporation.
Next time you put an obnoxious copyright notice in a posting, expect
flames ....
>
> Copyright c 1985 by Thomas Cox. All rights reserved. Permission to
> reprint is given provided this notice is left intact.
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***
--
Scott Crenshaw {akgua,decvax}!mcnc!rti-sel!scirtp
SCI Systems , Inc. Research Triangle Park, NC
The views represented may or may not be those of my employer.
Eldarion ap Aragorn
eight or nine p. m. across the top of the coffee. It can only
be penetrated by hot coffee, which dissolves the skin. Also, if
you are so unwise as to leave the cup over the weekend, then the
biological activity in the cup will raise the temperature to be
above that of the room.
So there.
And it was an original essay, and I can copyright it if I please. Pththtth.
Thomas Cox
all rights reserved
--
Thomas Cox
...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!benn
Never argue with a fool. People won't be able to tell who's who.