A La Flip Wilson (~nf)

[Samuel Saal]

This is a favorite Flip Wilson story. (He does it better)

George Smith died and was taken to a funeral home for preparation
for burial. When the bereaved Mrs. Smith came to see him lying
in state prior to the funeral, she saw him laid out in a brown
suit. Summoning over the undertaker she asked: "Why do you have
Mr. Smith wearing a *brown* suit. His favorite color was blue and
I specifically requested that he be laid out in a *blue* suit."

The undertaker was taken aback and answered: "I'm very sorry, but
all we have in stock right now is a brown suit in Mr. Smith's
size. Besides, He looks just fine in brown."

Mrs. Smith was not convinced and with more anger than bereavement
said: "I *insist* that you change that suit. Now, I am going to
take care of a few things but I will be back in 15 minutes. By
that time I expect you to find a *blue* suit for my husband."

Fifteen minutes later Mrs. Smith returned and, sure enough, there
was George in a blue suit. Mrs. Smith was amazed. She called the
undertaker over and said: "I thought you said you didn't have any
blue suits."

"I *didn't* have any."

"Then where did you get that one?"

"Well, about a minute after you left another gentleman was
brought in here and he was already wearing a blue suit so I gave
him George's brown suit and gave the blue suit to George."

"You mean it took you just 15 minutes to change 2 dead mens'
clothing?"

"Well, not exactly..."

"What do you mean 'not exactly?'" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Well, I didn't have to switch the clothes," answered the
undertaker. "I switched the heads."

sms
{ihnp4}!eisx!smsSam

[r...@ctvax.uucp]

There was a famous man who for years wore a toupee, although
only his wife knew. Upon his demise his distraught widow went
to the undertaker to ensure that her late husband would be
wearing his toupee for the viewing.

Well everything went as planned and no one was any the wiser.
When the widow went to settle her account with the undertaker
she insisted on paying extra for the trouble in ensuring that
the toupee was there. The undertaker refused, saying it was just
part of the service. She insisted, he refused, she insisted,
he refused. Finally in frustration the undertaker said,

"Oh, give us a nickel for the nail."
------------------
Why do you want my name?
ctvax!rob