I could feel at home -background

[Sue Null]

  Thanks to all the kind people who responded to my original post (at the bottom).  

   Undoubtedly, one of the reasons it was so rewarding to attend the Asheville, NC Gay Men's Chorus Dinner was that I had spent 50 minutes in conversation earlier that day with a staunch Southern Baptist individual (SBI) in my small conservative city (50 minutes from Asheville). 

    I opened the conversation by mentioning that the "Bullying" issue interested me because I had gay and lesbian children and wanted to support them (and others).   SBI said that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but he would never focus on GLBTs, because we are all sinners.  Then he clarified that to add that it's not homosexuality itself that is sinful, but the sexual actions of homosexuality.   I replied that, according to him, gays cannot experience sex without being sinful.  Yes, he said, because the Bible declares it a sin.  He suggested that gays should have friendships, but not sexual relationships.  And I tried to tell him that was well-nigh impossible....and unfair, a restriction not levied on straights.

    I told him some personal emotional stories, after which, to his credit, he acknowledged that these issues were very personal with me and that I saw them from a different standpoint, even though he had two gay family members.    After which he again repeated that all people were sinners.  But, when challenged, he admitted that heterosexuals do not need to consider themselves inherently sinful, as long as they have sex within marriage, but that homosexual sex is sinful, period.  I asked him if he discovered his son was gay, if the son could bring home a partner, and that possibility quite perturbed him...he wasn't sure.

    Four times in the conversation, he returned to the mantra "All people are sinners" and that he wasn't singling out gays to be any worse than other sinners and each time I tried to counter that.  To his credit, he didn't promote the "bad choice of a destructive lifestyle," nor did he promote "change."  He tried to appear fair and nonjudgmental, but repeated his heartfelt beliefs.

    Interesting, but rather exhausting as I tried also to be fair, to find reasonable objections, and not to clobber him for his ideas so contrary to mine.   I hope I made him think a bit, but I doubt I changed any of his opinions.   I also doubt that he had heard before from anyone like me.

    So you can see why it was such a relief to attend the Gay Men's Chorus Dinner where I had no need to defend or explain....just revel in the company of gay-supportive people and simply enjoy the evening.

Sue Null
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As a PFLAG parent, in moving from cosmopolitan Houston to small town rural Appalachian conservative mentality, I have often felt not "at home."  Tonight, I felt at home, at the Cantaria (Gay Men's Chorus of Asheville) dinner in Asheville.  I didn't have to monitor what I said, I didn't have to worry about stepping on somebody's religious toes,  I could feel at home with all who were present, I could affirm and be affirmed, I could be at ease with myself and my tablemates.  I could feel at home.  It was a total delight.  I could feel at home.  What an exquisite pleasure.

Sue Null