A Few Bright Lights
Sue Null
progressing faster with GLBT equality. On the other hand, there are
also times when we see a few bright lights at the end of the tunnel.
North Carolina is the only state in the southeast not to have a
state constitutional amendment prohibiting legal recognition of
same-gender marriage. Not for lack of trying, because such legislation
has been introduced every year, but it has fortunately been buried in
committee. This year, however, with conservative Republicans
dominating the legislature for the first time in many years, the
amendment is not likely to stay buried. Equality North Carolina is
asking fair-minded people to sign post cards to their state legislators
indicating their disapproval of such discrimination which would ban not
only marriage, but recognition of civil unions and domestic partnerships
as well, as originally proposed.
I live in a small city of 7000 in beautiful rural Appalachia
dominated by Southern Baptist churches, but with many retirees from
other parts of the country. I took the cards to a meeting of local
ministers and religious lay people. They were signed by 2 Methodists, 2
Catholics, 2 Episcopalians, 1 Lutheran, by 7 out of 8 people present.
Then I took them to a meeting of a community chorus I had just
signed up for. The chorus has members from various faiths and meets in a
Methodist church with a Methodist director. We were asked to briefly
introduce ourselves to the group. I said that what most distinguished
me from others was that I had gay and lesbian children and therefore was
a fierce advocate for equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgender people. Whereupon the woman in front of me told the group
that she also had a lesbian daughter and another woman happily announced
the same. I said, "Fine! I have some post cards for you to sign."
Both these women took extra post cards home for friends to sign. Three
other people asked for post cards. When the rehearsal ended, a man came
up to me and "complained" that he hadn't gotten a post card. Seems that
he had established some time ago a PFLAG chapter in Florida. Again, it
was amazing to see the support I was receiving. Obviously, in my UU
(Unitarian Universalist) Church, full support is almost taken for
granted. People asked despairingly, "They're back at this again?"
People said, "Of course, I'll sign." But this broader support was
unexpected. (Of course, I haven't tried any Southern Baptist churches
yet--and probably won't).
I'm not sufficiently deluded to think that that this support is
enough to stop the amendment, but it is nevertheless gratifying. It's
somewhat surprising to see older folks jump to sign enthusiastically,
and occasionally disappointing to see a few younger folks seem perplexed
and unwilling to sign--the opposite of most of our stereotypes.
And, while I'm on stereotypes, I took the cards to a musical
theater performance where I was signed up to be an usher. I asked the
other ushers if they would sign and was shocked when five out of six
said, "NO." The house manager quickly came by to sign and passed a card
to another worker. In intermission, I took the opportunity to talk to
one very congenial usher couple, saying I was surprised that they
enjoyed musical theater so much, but wouldn't sign the card when so many
gay people are active in theater. We chatted a bit, they asked good
questions, and eventually the wife relented and signed, but her husband
said he just wasn't there yet. However, I think the calm conversation
we had was more valuable than getting a post card signed. He clearly
understood my point when I said I wanted my gay children to have the
same rights and opportunities as my straight children.
Although I did the same thing in Texas some years ago, (with dismal
final results), this is still an interesting growth experience, leading
me to feel more confident in approaching almost anybody, not just those
I might think on the outside would be likely to be supportive. Even
though we may be turned down, we must take the risk, and we must have
these conversations if equality is ever to move forward.
Sue Null
Brevard, NC