911 I Think I 39;m Dead

[Agnella Datson]

Itsoccured to me that I might be dead and not realise it. I committed suicide a little over two months ago but recall coming round in hospital, but now I am not so sure? I have been off work for four months due to a serious heart problem, I live on my own and apart from seeing neighbours, I live now in total isolation. Thing is, since that day, I am feeling worst and worst, I e-mailed my cardiologist about my heart, yet recieved no reply, before my ablation they were in constant contact. I feel so ill and wrong inside, I now feel drunker and drunker every day, this feeling started when they put me on beta-blockers, but I have been off them for nearly three months now. I think I saw my GP last Thursday, he said he will contact my cardiologist to bring my appointment forward, but apart from that, he didnt really say much so I am thinking maybe I imagined it? or maybe he didnt even know I was there?

Hi Peter, your definitely alive, you didn't commit suicide, my guess is you suffering from depression, either way you need to see your GP and explain what your experiencing and enquire about your cardiologist appointment.

You're alive that's why you can post. Peter sounds to me like you think you're imagining everything and you say you feel drunk. That's weird beta blockers shouldn't be causing that. Have you gone to the Doctor so they can check there's a thing that causes people to feel drunk I think it was something about your body producing so much yeast therefore you have the effects of a drunk person. Go check that out and your heart. Hope you figure it all out.

As soon as I started taking beta-blockers. I was telling people that they were making me feel "like a drunk zombie", my hospital report however stated that I had an alergic reaction to them, they just say they should be out of my system by now. I am wondering if I have pericarditus following the ablation as my ECG shows massive T waves and a dullness of the mind is a symptom.

Peter, tell your Doctor you may have Pericarditis because the ablation you suffered might have caused it and tell him about your ECG. Don't procrastinate go to the Doctor and check that out it's your health. Hope everything turns out fine.

Peter I hope things are better for you. I live in the US and have a feeling that I'm dead or in an "alternate reality". I have noticed small differences in my environment. I am either dead or have a serious mental disorder. Many things have pointed to this fact. But I still have blood pressure and alive. But I still can't shake the feeling that I am dead. Lets stay in touch and see what happens next.

As for me, I am still off work and still have the detached reality feeling, brain fog. I still have a vomit inducing cough I caught back in March from the very day I started taking a different beta-blocker, thing is, the NHS wont acknowledge the possibility that Beta-Blockers have permanently damaged me, my own feeling is that they damaged my Autonomic Nervous system as all the automatically regulated functions of my body now seem wrong. My heart beat ranges from 47 to 157 doing the same nothing, my breathing is wrong so oxygen levels range between 99% and 84%. I no longer feel hunger or thirst. etc. I go to my doctor with a whole list of problems but they only ever address one of them to placate me instead of finding the route cause that would account for all.

Hello friend, I fully empathise with your situation, two years ago (in this reality's timeline ) I overdosed on drugs and died, I am running out of time to confess my wrongs and if I do not manage to cover all of them I will end up in hell, just to clarify, I am not a religious man but I do believe you go where you think you belong, but it is nice to know there are others who struggle with the same thing I am experiencing, unless I am actually dead and then I'm just talking to an aspect of myself I have created to delude myself that there is a chance I am actually alive and I'm just mentally ill

I know how you feel. I tried to kill myself about 10 years ago. I woke up from a drug overdose and a plastic bag over my head on the floor where i went to sleep after drinking the pills. To this day I am not sure if I actually died or not. No one knows what I did. This is the first time im talking about it too.

If there are multiple realities, there may be a realm out there where I am a billionaire. There might be a reality where I came to the realization that there is a reality where I am a billionaire. A reality where I thought about why there is a me that is a billionaire. What is different between me and the other me. Life choices would be the answer. It would not be personality, because then it wouldnt be me. I am sure, if there are other me's out there, that one of them would be a millionaire. I am sure too that there is a me that realized all of the above and decided to make some life choice changes and became a millionaire.

Thank you. I reach out my hand to you, impossibly. And yet, I say thank you, and be well. Be well. Live, and enjoy life, and find a good thing. I am eating an apple now, and drinking good water, and am not on drugs, except for coffee. Surrounded by people, murmuring, echoing. Everything is going to be ok. I am alive right now. I am me, at least. Be well.

And so, in bizarre mayhem surprises parade by, one after another, including psychological and philosophical ones. To envisage it, sometimes neurologists, who are researching more and more, have no choice but to go to brain banks, such as Harvard Brain and Tissue Resource Center, which sends about six thousand samples of brain tissue from healthy people or individuals with mental or physical illnesses in the form of a square centimeter of the requested region to researchers all over the planet and is hardly struggling to cope with demand.

There was a case more recently in which a patient was given a PET scan in 2013. He was 48 years old, with no previous medical history, apart from a short depressive illness, and was treated by a psychiatrist after attempting to electrocute himself. Eight months later he claimed that his brain had died.

Psychotropic treatment had little therapeutic effect. Four instruments applied to the patient (the Beck Depression Inventory, Beck scale for suicide ideation, the Hamilton Rating Scale for Depression and the Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale) revealed severe depression combined with mild anxiety.

He was convinced that he suffered brain death, that he was dead, he did not need to eat or sleep, and had a dead brain in a living body. He recognized that his ability to see, hear, think, remember and communicate showed that his mind should be alive, but could not explain how, well his brain, was it dead?

The results of the PET scan that was performed, contrasted with healthy control patients, showed cortical hypometabolism in an extensive set of medium and dorsolateral regions, in a more severe and widespread pattern than in a major depressive disorder.

And just as the old nobles did not see their heads rolling under the infallible pit of the guillotine and as the man mentioned at the start could tell, not once but many times, the story of how others left with his, in that accident, almost, in their hands, the question of where does the experience that I exist come from, refers to the evolutionary and individual relationship with our environment, thanks to a set of specialized neural networks over time.

Way out there, one could imagine a group of these neural networks, specialized in reflection, thought, existence, being or not being, above the rest, neuron philosophers, dominating the world, believing in Platonic ideas the classics would say, illustrated, would replicate Frederick II.

It would be a world from another world, where in the morning they prepare and implement the synapses of the day, in the afternoon they would relax and, at night, under the influence of some additional stimulus, they would do what they were really made for, to think about being and non-being, without stopping to think about the old days, where they were still prey of living beings and, said the legend, sometimes rolled around, accidentally.

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