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[Maria]

Everyday I must go on a jaunty little stroll through the neighb for an errand, and usually, I end up at a snack. I never know what the treat will be and sometimes there is no errand but I just need to be witnessed, to get those steps in, to have another coffee and another treat just to feel something.

History will be remembered through modes and eras wrapped around goings-ons. I have been in many modes in the past year alone: book mode, soup mode, treat mode, blob mode\u2026 that\u2019s about it, really. Most of them are relatively idle. My mode meter rarely goes into the red. (Slut eras are a lifestyle).

Some may confuse this for \u201Cgoblin mode\u201D but that would suggest a dedication to something deeper, something generally denoted by fervent tinkering, ring-chasing, or some such hand-rubbing schemes. Goblins have more commitment than me. I am tired in a way that could out-nap Rumplestilkstin. In a way that suggests something perhaps medically profound. (I took an online neurodivergence quiz that suggested I seek assessment for my \u201Cmildly autistic tendencies.\u201D) I just finished my\u2026 fourth (fifth?) course of antibiotics this year and it\u2019s a full K.O. No Katy Perry anthem can make up for the constant grind of industrialized living or populate my currently barren microbiome.

Yet, to live I must submit to meritocracy\u2019s wage-seeking ways. And so, I must summon whatever beastly spirit will best inspire me to find myself in my bag once more. Because lemme tell you, being out of my bag? It\u2019s cold, it\u2019s lonely, there\u2019s no guac out here. I\u2019m sick of it.

Spring is a social time of year when people are at least 15% more likely to follow through on plans than the previous season. It is the only time I remember what FOMO is and end up in places I have no business being simply because isn\u2019t that what people do? Meanwhile, I\u2019m on 23% battery and my once charitable thoughts start negotiating Instagram therapy speak like I don\u2019t owe anyone anything, as I start plotting my way home from the function, trying to appear at least somewhat present in the group dynamic.

This happens a lot more than I care to admit, let alone experience. There are only five rooms in my apartment according to Streeteasy\u2019s listing (which includes the bathroom, kitchen, and living room, even when some of those spaces are combined). I stand there, turning my head this way and that, as if my eyes will scan the area and suddenly tell my brain \u201CIt\u2019s that! That\u2019s what you came in here for!\u201D Instead, it requires at least one or two more exits and enters for me to remember what it is I came in here for.

Sometimes after an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep, when I do wake up with the energy of an iPhone battery at baseline 80% health, I think brightly of all the things I want to do with my life and what a lovely day it is and what am I supposed to be doing again? Do I really have to do that today or can I put it off? Hmm but maybe if I just got it out of the way. I want to go outside but if I go outside I\u2019ll lose my inside momentum, wait what was that sound\u2026

Anyway. I have made\u2026 something resembling a point. Before you beast mode, perhaps it\u2019s wise to take inventory of your creatures. There is no single beast to mode. Not in this day and age of biohacking and I liked it so I got it in every color. However, this internal zoo within me is forming a cabal intent upon thwarting our collective ambitions in favor of all the things each little beasty demands at any given moment. To indulge any one beast\u2019s mode is to lose the forest in the trees (sumn like that). And to try and appease everyone is an exercise in futility. The best I can hope for is an internal system of governance wherein each little guy gets their fair share in due time. I may not wish something so lofty as to tame these beasts, but I can hopefully one day get each of them to respond by name.

This argument is especially frustrating when it comes from other "Beauty and the Beast" fans. If it was just a matter of them saying that they preferred how Adam looked as a Beast, that would be one thing. But when they start saying that the transformation is a betrayal of the story's themes, it makes me think that they're also missing the point.

"Beauty and the Beast" is one of many animal bridegroom tales that have been retold for centuries all over the world. And the template is basically the same: a young woman, for reasons that vary according to the tale, agrees to marry a monster or an animal who is actually a handsome man in disguise. Once she learns to love him and performs certain tasks, the spell is broken and her husband's true form is revealed. And this isn't gender-specific, there are also many fairytales where the bride is the one under the enchantment and her husband must undo the curse. Many literary scholars have discussed the metaphorical meaning of the spouse's transformation, but instead, I'd like to focus on something that I think that a lot of detractors miss, which is the Beast as a character.

We know what Beauty's goal is at the beginning of the story: save her father's life by volunteering to go in his place. After she arrives at the castle and accomplishes that goal, she obstructs the Beast's goal by refusing to marry him. She doesn't really want anything for herself at that point: she enjoys exploring the castle and she's happy to live with him as a friend. She eventually falls in love with him, but it's not a consequence of her actively seeking a goal, it's more of a revelation for her when she races back to the castle. No, during the middle of the story, the Beast is the one pursuing a goal. And what is that goal?

It's often said that critics of the transformation miss the point of the story's moral when they complain that the Prince's form is ugly or that he looked better as a Beast. And I would agree, but I think that they're missing the point of the story because they've fallen into the same trap that Beauty falls into at the beginning of the story.

In a way, their reaction is the inverse of Beauty's. Beauty can't see past the Beast's appearance, and so rejects the Beast's proposals. They can't see past the Beast's appearance, and thus complain when it disappears. But both don't realize that the Beast's appearance isn't real. It's fake. It's a DISGUISE. It's an illusion.

The Beast is NOT a beast. He's a human prince enchanted to look like one. That's the point of the transformation: it's the revelation of his true self. It has nothing to do with what Beauty or the audience finds attractive. And in versions which follow the Disney route of the curse as a punishment, the transformation metaphorically represents the inner transformation that the Beast has undergone in the story. He's ready to return to his true appearance once he has reached his true character.

The Beast has his own goal that is separate from Beauty's. Unlike the princess or prince/king in stories such as "Cinderella" or "The Brave Little Tailor", he's not just there to reward the heroine by marrying her and thereby making her queen. He has his own desire that he wishes to achieve and can only achieve through the love of Beauty.

So, when critics complain that he never should have turned back, they are essentially saying that his goals and desires don't matter to them. They don't want him to get what he wants. He should be trapped in a false form because it's what they find attractive or he should get over his shame about his appearance and learn to accept himself for who he is...even though a beast is NOT who he is.

Just imagine if there was a story where a homely geek was enchanted to become an attractive celebrity instead. And while it might seem great at the beginning, it would eventually prove to be a trap, because the geek would realize that the only thing people cared about him was his looks. They wouldn't care at all about who he really was as a person, just the image that he appeared to be. They'd ignore him when he tried to talk about science or whatever his interest was, they wouldn't care the least bit about his own passions and dreams. All they would do is moon over his looks and demand that he look pretty and be the idol that they wanted him to be, to the point where he'd wish to go back to normal. In that scenario, would it be fair to the character for the author to deny him his wish just because the audience thought that he looked better as a celebrity than he did as a geek? It's all right if he's living a lie, because it's a lie that appeals to the audience?

I've come across two ideas on this. The first is the desire to strip away any potentially problematic or squicky element from the story. They feel that the lesson of not judging a person by their looks is ruined once Beauty's love interest turns out to be attractive after all, so they make the Beast stay a beast in order to maintain that message.

Basically, when Beauty goes to the castle in her father's place and sees the Beast, she's not scared of him at all. She immediately loves that he looks like an animal and squees all over him. And they settle in together and she just goes home to visit her family for the heck of it. And then she goes back to the Beast, I guess, because she was just visiting for the weekend. And then the Beast asks her if she's in love with him, she says no because he's an animal, and instead of being sad or disappointed, he's relieved. Because he's gotten used to being a talking animal, you see, so thank goodness Beauty doesn't do anything as crazy as fall in love with him. But they get married anyway, not because they do eventually fall in love, but out of convenience. Because it's so annoying to have to explain to people why a single man and a single woman are living together, so why not just shut them up with a passionless marriage? But that's okay too, because both of them are conveniently asexual and aromantic: Beauty was never into boys and Beast cares more about his flowers than girls. And so they settle into agreeable companionship. The End.

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