The Shining Audiobook Internet Archive

[Maria]

Weve all been there. We want to write a big, dramatic scene, and decide that our characters must give big, dramatic lines to match the tone. The difference between me and Brandon, then, is that he is a published author and I am tossing out manuscripts like they've got the plague. Which is why the world was never subjugated to my bad-badchull dialogue. But even a genius like Brandon Sanderson can occasionally fall prey to the muse of bad one-liners/dialogue that slip through the editing process. I've got a few shining examples from the Stormlight Archive, but I'd like to open up with this.

I would rest my case, but I feel a rant on the horizon. Picture that - starts ranting in Jim Sterling voice - go on, just picture it. This isn't a one-liner, it is a script from an early draft of Macbeth being uttered in the middle of a battle during which all the combatants stand completely still. Instead of, well, fighting in the battle, Kaladin is exchanging one-sided verbal debate against an assassin more concerned with killing Dalinar - whom he is doing nothing to protect by standing there taunting Szeth.

I would give the honor of the most cringeworthy line in the Stormlight Archive to "We focused on making certain you were separated from Dalinar, and not on what our actions might push you to become!" from Graves little speech near the end.

"And for my boon!" Kaladin shouted, "I demand the Right of Challenge against the murderer Amaram! He stole from me and slaughtered my friends to cover it up. Amaram branded me a skave! I will duel him here, right now. That is the boon I demand!"

After some thought, I'm going to agree with you on this one. This is the only line I can really think of that just seems downright bad to me. It just seems like a line added in to explain things to the reader, rather than something Graves would actually say. I hate it when TV shows do that.

I'm with you. That's an awesome, stand-up-and-cheer scene...except that line throws me out of the narrative every time. Either make her say "your," or have her say "thy" every now and then during the previous three-quarters of a million words.

Fun fact: "Stretch forth thy hand" is a Bible thing. Basically Jesus comes upon a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath. The Pharisees ask him if it's okay to heal the sick on the Sabbath. Jesus says "why not?" Tells the man "stretch forth thy hand" and heals him.

I have not reread SA for a while since every time i do for 6 months after i begin to go crazy watching the progress bar or hoping we hear a release date and silently weeping into my pillow every night that SA3 is not out yet.. but from what remember reading i mostly cringed every time Shallan tried to use 'funny' word play. For a while i would wish Hoid/Wit would sit her down and ignore Lightweaving and teach her how it is really done

I find it more bearable if I go by the theory that she is just an insecure teenage girl whom people are humoring to avoid upsetting her. Actually, that could lead to good character development for her, and could lead to some interesting scenarios.

I really did not like the horneater impression of Shallan's. Especially with the audiobook version. I think the Amaram scene where Dalinar outs him was very scooby doo like, Yeah I did it, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling slaves.

True, and the worst was that there wasn't any evidence against him: lying to a friend about a shardblade and killing your own men for one are totaly different things, he could just have denied and walked away.

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